Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be very frustrating for those with it and difficult for friends and loved ones to understand. Those who suffer from it have obsessions, or recurring and nagging thoughts, usually unpleasant. Such thoughts trigger compulsions, repeated actions or rituals that serve to deal with obsessions. Very often those with OCD are convinced that something fatal will surely happen if they fail to carry out their compulsive actions. Nevertheless, you can help a friend or loved one who suffers from this disorder by giving your support, avoiding to indulge the syndrome, encouraging him, taking part in his care and informing yourself about OCD.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Offer Your Support
Step 1. Emotionally support the person you love
It is extremely important to offer your emotional support, as it can help you feel close, protected and loved, but it is especially essential for those with OCD.
- Even if you have no psychological background or feel unable to "cure" this disorder, your support and loving attention will allow the person with OCD to feel more understood and confident.
- You can show your support by simply standing next to her when she feels the need to confide her thoughts, feelings, or compulsions. You might say, "I'm at your disposal if you ever want to talk about something. We can have a coffee or a bite to eat together."
- Try to explain to her that you want the best for her and ask her to let you know when you say or do something that makes her uncomfortable. This will help her open up to you and understand that she can trust you.
Step 2. Try to be empathetic
Empathy commonly occurs in psychotherapeutic practice because it helps people feel close and understood. It is a fundamental skill when communicating with those with OCD. Try to understand what the person you love is going through.
- Empathy strengthens with awareness. For example, imagine that your partner needs to prepare to eat very precisely and specifically before each meal. At first, you may find him odd and ask him to stop or criticize his unusual behavior. However, after a while, once you discover the deeper reasons that lead him to do so and the underlying fears, it is very likely that you will develop greater empathy.
- Here's an example of how you can be empathetic during a conversation: "You're trying your best and I know how bad you feel when you try so hard, but the symptoms won't go away, especially when you can't actually get them under control. I blame you for the fact that you have been feeling confused and frustrated lately. You will probably not only be sick, but you will also be angry that you are being hindered by your disorder."
Step 3. Communicate your full support
When communicating with someone you love, you need to support them, being careful not to approve or validate their behaviors related to obsessive-compulsive disorder.
- Express yourself in a way that focuses on the person, for example by saying, "I'm sorry you're going through this moment. What do you think is aggravating the symptoms of your disorder right now? you need it. I hope you feel better soon."
- Help her re-evaluate the severity of her rampant thoughts.
Step 4. Don't judge and don't criticize
Regardless of what you do, avoid continually judging and criticizing the obsessions and compulsions of OCD sufferers. In this way there is a risk that the person you love will feel compelled to mask their ailment, making it much more difficult to receive the care they need. Moreover, this situation can cause a rift in your relationship. They may feel better talking to you if you are open to them.
- Here is an example of what you might say when expressing your disapproval: "Why don't you just put an end to this nonsense?" Avoid personal criticism so that the other party is not led to isolate themselves. Remember that OCD sufferers often feel they are not in control of their condition.
- If you constantly criticize her, she will feel like she is failing to meet your expectations. This could cause her to back off and prevent her from interacting with you.
Step 5. Change your expectations to avoid getting frustrated
If you feel frustration or resentment towards the person you love, you will have a hard time offering them adequate and helpful support.
- Be aware that OCD sufferers are often reluctant to change, and sudden changes can trigger symptoms of the disorder.
- Remember to measure progress only to the person who made it and to encourage them to test themselves. However, do not press for everything to go smoothly, especially if it is beyond his abilities.
- It is never wise to make comparisons between the person you love and others, because you risk making them feel inadequate and put them on the defensive.
Step 6. Remember that each individual heals at different rates
The severity of OCD symptoms spans a broad spectrum and there are different responses to treatment.
- Be patient when your loved one is recovering from this ailment.
- Slow, gradual progress is better than relapse, so try to secure your support and don't discourage her by being visibly disappointed.
- Avoid everyday comparisons, because they don't frame the breadth of the situation.
Step 7. Acknowledge small improvements to offer your encouragement
If you give due credit to the seemingly small improvements, you will let the person with OCD know that you notice their progress and that you are proud of them. This attitude is a powerful tool to encourage her not to give up.
Try saying, for example: "I noticed that today you washed your hands a little less than usual. Bravo!"
Step 8. Establish some distance and space between you and the person with OCD when needed
Don't try to stop her behavior by constantly standing around her. It's not healthy for either her or you. You will need to be alone for a while to recharge and be able to give her all the support and understanding possible.
When you are together, try to talk about topics that have nothing to do with obsessive-compulsive disorder and its symptoms - it is not appropriate for OCD to be the only thread that binds you together
Method 2 of 4: Reduce Behaviors That Supports the Disorder
Step 1. Don't confuse support with complacency
It is very important not to confuse the support to be given with the predicted point, that is, with those behaviors which, by indulging, risk favoring or helping the subject to preserve his compulsions and rituals. In fact, since they reinforce compulsive actions, they could aggravate the symptoms of the disorder.
Supporting does not mean accepting the compulsions of someone who is suffering, but talking together about their fears and being understanding, even if you think that what they are doing is strange
Step 2. Do not indulge the behavior of the person you love, convinced not to strengthen it
It is not uncommon for family members of people with OCD to favor or even emulate certain behaviors in an attempt to protect and lend a hand in their rituals. For example, if a friend or family member compulsively divides food on your plate, you may start separating it for them. In your mind, yours will probably seem like a useful and benevolent gesture, but in reality it is exactly the opposite, since it supports and reinforces his compulsion. Even if it is a natural reaction aimed at sharing the weight of his compulsions, the whole family or social network that surrounds those with this disorder may begin to "suffer from OCD", huddling around their compulsive actions.
- Making yourself useful in the compulsive actions of those you love means justifying their irrational fears, encouraging them to reiterate and not get rid of their pathological behavior.
- As difficult as it is, you should always avoid indulging your loved one, otherwise you will only aggravate their compulsions.
Step 3. Continue to assist the person you love, trying to diversify their behavior
Not collaborating with her to avoid what upsets her, especially when it comes to something that is a part of everyday life - is another way to indulge or encourage compulsive actions.
For example, don't encourage her not to eat out if she has a dirt phobia
Step 4. Try not to favor symptomatic behaviors or rituals
Do not do anything that allows her to engage in the behaviors that result from the symptoms.
For example, don't buy her favorite cleaners to meet her maniacal need for cleaning
Step 5. Avoid changing your habits
If you change your habits to accommodate the symptoms of OCD, you risk transforming the behavior of the whole family, orienting them to take compulsive actions.
- For example, avoid starting eating before the person with OCD has finished their ritual.
- Another example would be taking responsibility for housework because OCD prevents your partner from cleaning in good time.
Step 6. Establish an action plan to help yourself and others no longer indulge the symptoms of the disorder
If you have realized that you have taken a complicit attitude, gradually abolish your encouraging behaviors and remain firmly in your position.
- Explain that if you make yourself an accomplice, you make her situation worse. No doubt the person you love will be shocked by this talk, so try to manage your emotions in such a circumstance. Be strong!
- For example, if the family favors the obsessive-compulsive behavior of a person who has to finish their rituals before starting to eat, it is possible to adopt a plan that foresees not waiting for them at the table anymore and not washing their hands with them.
- Regardless of your action plan, try to be consistent.
Method 3 of 4: Encourage Healing
Step 1. Get the person to heal
One way to stimulate OCD sufferers to heal is to help them identify the advantages and disadvantages of such a change. If you are still having trouble finding motivation to heal, try the following:
- Bring home texts to read on this topic.
- Convince the person that care can help.
- Discuss ways in which obsessive-compulsive behavior is indulged.
- Suggest a support group.
Step 2. Discuss various treatment options so you can seek professional help
Your support is one of the most important aspects when helping someone with OCD, because it can take some of the weight off their shoulders and allow them to find the best possible treatment. Concentrate together with the person you love in evaluating the various therapeutic solutions within a serious discussion.
- Let her know that OCD is treatable and that symptoms and pain can be significantly alleviated.
- You can ask your doctor for more information on treating the disorder, as well as a list of mental health specialists working in your area.
- Do not coerce the person in any way, but rather discuss the different treatment methods and what might be best suited to their needs. Certain medications, cognitive behavioral therapy, family support and information can be included. Several drugs are proven to be successful in treating obsessive-compulsive disorder, as they act on the control of some symptoms, even if they do not lead to recovery.
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy with response prevention are the preferred treatments, with or without drugs. For OCD, response prevention exposure helps manage symptoms of the disorder. It is a therapeutic path that gradually helps the subject to abstain from his rituals. Another treatment that is usually useful for the whole family is family therapy. It helps create a safe environment in which to discuss emotions and offer support.
Step 3. Take your loved one to a psychiatrist or psychologist for effective therapy
To find the most suitable treatment, it is necessary to consult a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a psychological counselor. Involvement of the family in care has been shown to help reduce OCD symptoms.
It is best to consult a professional who specializes in obsessive-compulsive disorder or who at least has experience in treating this syndrome. When deciding which doctor to go to, ask those who have experience in treating OCD
Step 4. Involve family members in the treatment
Some research has shown that family involvement in behaviors or care for this disorder helps decrease OCD symptoms.
- Family intervention can foster communication and reduce anger.
- Try helping your loved one keep a journal or write down their thoughts so they keep track of the obsessions and compulsions that haunt them.
Step 5. Encourage taking any prescribed medications
While it can be distressing to think that someone you care about should take psychiatric drugs, try to support your doctor's assessment.
Do not discredit the pharmacological instructions prescribed by the doctor
Step 6. Go on with your life if the person you love refuses to heal
Stop checking it. Realize that you have done everything possible and that you cannot totally control her or help her heal.
- It is essential to take care of yourself when trying to look after another person. You can't take care of anyone else if you can't take care of yourself.
- Make sure you are not indulging the symptoms, but periodically remind her that you are there to help when she feels ready.
- Above all, remind her that you have a life and the right to live it.
Method 4 of 4: Learn about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Step 1. Eliminate the prejudices about OCD to look at the person you love from another perspective
It is very important to change your view of the disorder by informing yourself, because there are various prejudices about it. It is essential to question these preconceptions, as they risk getting in the way of the relationship making it unsatisfactory.
One of the most classic misconceptions is that a person with OCD can control their obsessions and compulsions - which is not true. For example, if you believe that he is able to change his behavior whenever he wants, you risk feeling disappointed when he doesn't
Step 2. Learn about OCD to accept the person you care for
This will make it easier for you to accept what you suffer from. It is likely to be a painful process, but once you know what the situation is, you will be able to be objective instead of getting caught up in emotionality and pessimism. Once you have accepted his condition, you will be able to commit and focus on treatment options, rather than ruminating on the past.
- Learn about the most common rituals and compulsions, such as: washing your hands, respecting religious precepts in a slavish manner (reciting a prayer as if it were a script, strictly 15 times, to prevent something bad from happening), counting and checking (for example example to make sure you have closed the door).
- People with OCD are more likely to disregard commitments or avoid them altogether because of the fear generated by obsessions or because of compulsive behaviors. They may also have difficulties in daily life (in the kitchen, cleaning, personal hygiene, etc.) and suffer from severe anxiety.
Step 3. Continue to inform yourself and gain a deeper understanding of OCD to adequately help those you love
In order to support someone with OCD, you need to understand every aspect of this disorder. You can't expect to help her if you don't first inform yourself and reach a certain awareness.
- There are many texts on this subject, but also a considerable amount of information on the internet. Just be sure to read academic or reliable sources in the field of mental health.
- You can also ask your doctor or a mental health specialist for an explanation.
