Do you wake up in the morning feeling like you have no reason to get up and face the day? That of inner emptiness is a sensation that everyone experiences sooner or later, and it is not easy to get rid of it. If felt all the time or most of the time, it can be a symptom of an underlying condition, such as depression, so you should seek help from a mental health professional. However, if you experience it sporadically, there is something you can do to combat the feeling of emptiness, such as keeping a journal, trying things that have never been done, and making new friends. Read on to find out how to stop feeling empty.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Fill Your Life with Love
Step 1. Spend time with the people who love you
It could be your family or your group of friends. Dedicating moments to those who really know you and love you for who you are is a good antidote to the feeling of inner emptiness. Focus on building and strengthening relationships with these people. You can also find meaning in simply spending time with a loved one who finds your company enjoyable. Spending moments with friends and family can also help reduce stress and increase a sense of belonging.
Reduce the moments with people who hurt you, even unintentionally. If you have to spend your time with someone who damages your self-esteem and makes you feel helpless, make sure that encounters with these kinds of individuals always have a time limit
Step 2. Make a new friendship or start a romance
The pleasure of meeting someone with whom to establish a certain understanding and let the relationship grow in an unexpected way can greatly counteract the sense of inner emptiness. A new friend or love interest can help you have new, rewarding experiences and will show you that you are interesting and worthy of love. Suddenly it will feel like the world has more to offer than you thought. Making new friends can also help you gain a deeper sense of purpose and belonging.
- Sometimes it is difficult to make new friends and meet other people, especially if you are no longer in school. Signing up for a class, joining an association or going to your favorite club can be a great way to socialize.
- Practice being more generous with your time and saying "yes" when they invite you somewhere. If you feel like you don't have enough time to cultivate new friends, know that your social life is not going to get better.
Step 3. Adopt a puppy
Some research has shown that having a puppy can add meaning to life. Pet owners are also less likely to suffer from depression and may even feel health benefits from living with their puppies. A pet that depends on you for care can also help make your life more meaningful. You could adopt a dog or cat at a local animal shelter to reduce your sense of emptiness.
Step 4. Be nice to others
If you make some kind gestures from time to time, you will be inclined to focus your attention on others and this attitude will make you feel more satisfied. Use simple gestures to show your kindness to people. Doing so will contribute to the well-being of other people and experience a sense of fulfillment.
For example, you could pay a compliment to a stranger, such as, "I like your dress! It's really beautiful!" Look for a way to be kind in whatever situation you find yourself. Even something simple, like smiling and nodding people during the day, could help brighten someone's day and make you feel more satisfied
Method 2 of 4: Understand Why You Feel Empty
Step 1. Talk to a trusted friend about your state of mind
Repressing feelings can be harmful over time. Sometimes, just talking about them will make them go away or resize them. Look for someone who loves you and understands you or, at least, someone you trust; it could make a big difference.
Step 2. Start writing a journal to track what you think and feel
It can help you better understand your feeling of inner emptiness and is also a great way to relieve stress. To start, choose a comfortable place and try to spend about 20 minutes a day in your journal. Try writing down how you feel or what you are thinking, or use a starting point, including:
- When did you first notice this feeling? How long have you been aware of it? How many years has he been with you?
- What emotions arise when you feel empty?
- Do you tend to feel this sensation in certain periods or in certain places? What do you notice about your surroundings when you feel empty?
- What kind of thoughts do you have when you feel this way?
Step 3. Look for symptoms of depression
Depression manifests itself differently in each person, but a bad mood and a feeling of emptiness or worthlessness are common symptoms. Depression can come in waves, during which you feel good for a while and then break down for weeks or even months, or it can be a more than constant feeling. It is widespread: in the United States, for example, about 6.7% of adults suffer from major depressive disorder, while women are 70% more likely to suffer from depression than men. If you think you are depressed, you are not alone. See your doctor or mental health professional if you have any of the following depressive symptoms:
- Persistent feeling of sadness, anxiety or "emptiness";
- Sense of hopelessness or pessimism
- Feeling guilty, useless, or helpless
- Unusual irritability or restlessness
- Changes in mood or behavior
- Loss of interest in the things that excited you
- Exhaustion;
- Changes in sleep habits
- Changes in weight
- Thinking about harming yourself or others
- Pain and aches that do not seem to improve with the proper therapies.
Step 4. Consider if you have been in bereavement
Mourning is another frequent cause of the feeling of inner emptiness. While it is more common to suffer intensely after the death of a loved one, grief can be a response to any loss, including that of a pet, job, children who have moved elsewhere, their health, or any other loss. major life change. The loss and the pain that comes with it can trigger a variety of feelings, including despondency and emptiness, and can also affect other aspects of one's life, such as appetite, concentration and habits. If you have experienced a loss or change that could be the cause of your pain and inner emptiness, consider sharing your feelings with someone you trust, such as a friend or loved one. You can also benefit from consulting a psychologist who specializes in grieving.
Although many people believe that there are "five stages" of suffering, it is actually a mistaken belief. Elisabeth Kübler Ross's "five stages" - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - refer to her work on death and dying published in 1969. However, Kübler-Ross used these stages to describe feelings about her own death. Therefore, it is not a scientific synthesis in which it is possible to frame all kinds of suffering. You will probably experience all, some or none of these stages, and that's not a problem: the pain you feel is personal and everyone deals with it differently
Step 5. Recognize if an addiction can be troubling
The use of certain substances is another frequent cause of the feeling of inner emptiness. The abuse of substances such as alcohol, drugs, and prescription drugs can cause physical addiction, which in turn affects mood, thoughts and behavior. Often, people fall into the consumption of these substances because they feel a "hole" in their life that they believe they can fill with the consumption of some substance. If you believe you have a drug addiction problem, you're not alone: for example, about 7.2 percent of the U. S. population was diagnosed with alcohol use disorder (AUD) in 2012. Many others suffer from Substance Use Disorder, such as marijuana, stimulants (including cocaine or methamphetamines), hallucinogens (such as LSD) and opioids (such as heroin). If you are concerned that you have such a problem, ask yourself the following questions. In the last year:
- Have you found yourself consuming some substance more than you would have liked?
- Have you tried to reduce the use of any substance with no success?
- Did you spend a lot of your time consuming or trying to get hold of some substance?
- Did you have a strong desire to use some substance?
- Did you have to increase your consumption of any substance to get the same effect as when you started using it?
- Have you suffered from withdrawal symptoms, such as sleep disturbances, tremor, clammy skin, irritability, depression, anxiety, nausea, sweating?
- Have you noticed that some substance has interfered with your life or your daily responsibilities?
- Did you continue to use any substances even though it caused you problems in your family or friends?
- Did you stop doing activities you enjoyed in order to consume some substance?
- Have you taken any substance in situations that could become dangerous, for example while driving or operating machinery?
- Addiction can also have a strong hereditary component. For example, relatives of people who have problems with alcohol abuse are more likely to develop addictions, beyond the fact that they knew each other.
- If you have drug and / or alcohol addiction problems, talk to your therapist. Perhaps you will have to deal with it by following a specific therapy against the feeling of inner emptiness.
Step 6. Examine your behavior to see if you have borderline personality disorder (BPD)
People with BPD often report feeling empty. People with a personality disorder live on unstable sensations and behaviors organized in recurring patterns that cause social discomfort or difficulties. People with BPD have a hard time mastering what they think and feel. They tend to engage in reckless behaviors, have poor impulse control and are unstable in relationships with others. To give an example of the incidence of BPD, about 1.6% of US adults are diagnosed each year. BDP can be effectively treated under the guidance of a psychologist. If you have one or more of the following BPD symptoms, see a mental health professional:
- You apply all your efforts to avoid abandonment, be it real or imaginary. You often believe that you will be abandoned or separated from a loved one. You react negatively, for example by becoming excessively angry or frightened, even when the separation is temporary (for example, when your partner goes to work). You are so afraid of being alone.
- You alternate between idealizing and demonizing the people you've been in a relationship with. People with borderline disorder often start a romantic relationship by placing the other person on a pedestal, considering them perfect or ideal. After some time, he begins to think that the partner does not care enough about his other half or does not contribute to the relationship. The relationships of a borderline subject are generally unstable.
- You have a weak perception of your identity. People with borderline disorder find it difficult to maintain a stable idea of themselves, their identity and self-image.
- You are very reckless or impulsive. This attitude occurs especially in those who are self-harming. He may do reckless things, such as drunk driving, gambling, substance abuse, or engaging in risky sexual behavior.
- You often consider harming yourself and threaten to commit suicide. You can practice self-harming gestures by using objects to cut, scratch, or burn yourself. Or you can threaten to harm yourself to get the attention of others.
- You often suffer from severe mood swings. These moods alternate frequently and are often very intense, like the transition from joy to despair.
- You have a chronic feeling of emptiness. You often feel empty or bored, or like you need something to do.
- You have a hard time controlling anger. Many things tend to provoke your anger and you react with outbursts characterized by bitterness, sarcasm, or delusional talk. You are particularly sensitive if you believe that someone is not caring about you.
- Sometimes you have paranoid thoughts about others or it seems to you that your surroundings are not "real".
Step 7. Meditate to examine the feeling of inner emptiness
Meditation can also help you get in touch with this feeling of lack and begin to understand it better. Some research has shown that 30 minutes of meditation a day can help change behavior and brain function. To start meditating, sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Ask yourself the following questions to understand the feeling of emptiness through meditation.
- Notice how you feel right now. Do you feel a sense of emptiness or lack, as if you lack dignity, clarity, understanding, peace or love? For now, accept that you feel this way.
- Realize how you perceive your inner emptiness. Where on your body do you feel it? How much space does it take up?
- Analyze your feeling of emptiness. Does it remind you of the memories of the past? What emotions erupt when you perceive it?
Step 8. Seek help from a licensed mental health professional
To understand and analyze such a feeling, you should talk to a therapist about how you feel. This feeling of emptying could indicate that you are depressed or that there is probably another underlying condition. In particular, if you are experiencing depressive symptoms, substance abuse problems, or borderline personality disorder, you should see a mental health professional.
- Treatment for depression often runs along two lines, that of psychotherapy and, if necessary, that of pharmacology with the prescription of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, such as Prozac, Zoloft, Cipralex, Entact) or SNRIs (reuptake inhibitors serotonin-norepinephrine, including Cymbalta). Cognitive-behavioral and interpersonal therapy are both effective in treating depression. The first teaches to identify and reduce negative and useless mental patterns, introducing more constructive and effective ways of thinking. The second, on the other hand, helps to examine which relationships can be the cause of one's problems.
- Any type of psychotherapy is useful for processing pain, although the so-called "complicated grief treatment" (CGT) seems to work best with those who have long struggled to cope with pain.
- Treatment of disorders caused by alcohol and other drug use often focuses on individual and group counseling, but may also include taking medications as needed. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is usually used to treat disorders caused by alcohol intake.
- To treat BPD, dialectical-behavioral therapy is used, which teaches how to identify and regulate one's emotions, tolerate stress, be aware of thoughts, actions and motivations, and interact with others in a healthy and constructive way. We also learn systems to manage our emotions and the skills that are needed in the interpersonal sphere.
Method 3 of 4: Finding Meaning in Everyday Life
Step 1. Practice mindfulness
It is about being aware of your thoughts, feelings and experiences in the present moment, without making judgments. Some research has shown that there are important benefits related to mindfulness, including the reduction of stress and anxiety problems. In fact, awareness can also link the brain's reactions to stressors and help you feel more connected to others. By learning to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and learning to recognize them without judging them or yourself, you will be able to feel calmer, empathetic and satisfied. You have the option of practicing mindfulness at home, through meditation, or by taking a course. To get started, here's an exercise:
- Look, name and touch 5 different objects, noting the color, texture, temperature and weight of each of them.
- See, taste and smell what you eat for dinner or the pleasant floral fragrances during a walk, noting the color, texture, taste and aroma.
- Close your eyes and listen to different sounds. Notice the rhythm, strength, and volume.
- Mindfulness meditation has also been shown to be very helpful. The Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles) has made several Mp3 files of guided meditations available via the Internet.
Step 2. Do something new
If you feel empty every day, maybe you are stuck in the usual routine. What are the habits and patterns that might bring you down? Find a way to inject new energy into your life. By changing your routine or finding even 30 minutes a day to try something new, you can fill your sense of emptiness.
- For example, if getting up to go to school or work every day puts you down, find a way to make the situation more interesting. Start a new extracurricular activity that helps you feel excited about going to school, or volunteer for a new job project.
- Try doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Improving in a new area will give you something interesting to think about and will help you gain confidence.
- Even a small change can make a huge difference. Try cooking a different dish, cycling to work instead of driving, or starting yoga in the morning before school.
- Even giving a different touch to the personal environment can be helpful. Replace the drab bedroom curtains with something more lively, paint the walls a new color, get rid of the junk and decorate the room with interesting paintings.
Step 3. Pursue the goals and interests you care about
To feel satisfied, you should commit to challenging goals and interests. Don't let others manage what you set out to do. If you can't follow through on your goals and passions, maybe you should tweak something in what you do to make sure you're on the path you feel is right.
- If you go to school, consider whether the choice of your studies matches your wishes or those of your parents.
- External pressures can have a negative effect on the decisions we make. Know if you are doing what you really want or something to impress others.
- If you notice forces or people preventing your life from finding its direction, take action to change the situation. Once you have more control over things, your sense of emptiness is likely to subside.
Step 4. Look for meaning in everyday life
When life just seems like a big chore, it can be helpful to take the time to rediscover the beauty and meaning of the little things of every day. What makes you feel alive and happy? When you find something that seems to energize you, turn it into a fixed part of your life. Here are some ideas to make mundane things more meaningful:
- Show your gratitude. By taking a few minutes a day to reflect on what you are grateful for and why, you will have a chance to feel that your life is full of meaning. You can speak or even write your gratitude in order to support this feeling. For example, you might say or write, "I'm so thankful it's a sunny day today. It's gorgeous!" or "I'm so grateful for my family's kindness. They make me feel so special!"
- Don't deny yourself your favorite foods. If you like chocolate, eat some! You don't have to overdo it, but allow yourself a small square every day.
- Go out for a breath of fresh air. Studies have shown that spending some time outside makes people feel more alive and energetic. Spend a few moments outdoors every day, whether in the sun or in the rain. Concentrate on breathing in the fresh air and observing nature in a deeper way.
- Take the time to make your world richer and more enjoyable. Transform simple daily gestures into positive rituals. Sit down and read the newspaper over the first cup of coffee or tea of the day instead of rushing out of the house. Take long, hot baths in place of a shower from time to time.
- Make your home a pleasant place. Fold clothes before putting them away, instead of piling them in drawers. Wash your dinner dishes before bed. Make your bed in the morning. Open the windows, letting in some light and air. Don't forget about spring cleaning. You may feel like you don't have enough time to do all of these things, or they aren't important, but when your home is clean and fragrant, it's easier to put up with the mundane things in life.
Step 5. Take care of yourself
Exercise, healthy food, rest and relaxation are all important components of a meaningful existence. By taking care of yourself, you will communicate to the mind that you deserve this attention and that your life has value. Make sure you take enough time to meet basic needs for exercise, nutrition, sleep, and relaxation.
- You decide to work out 30 minutes a day.
- Eat a balanced diet consisting of healthy whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
- Get 8 hours of sleep a night.
- Spend at least 15 minutes a day on yoga, deep breathing exercises, or meditation.
Method 4 of 4: Identify Your Values
Step 1. Identify your values
By reminding yourself of what is important in life and how much you are worth, you may feel a sense of satisfaction rather than emptiness. Our values, or fundamental beliefs about our existence, are usually based on experiences gained over the years, but we don't always have the time to consciously examine them. To find out what your values are, you should spend some time reflecting. Acknowledge them by writing down your answers to the following questions:
- Recognize who are the two people you admire the most. What quality of them leads you to appreciate them and why?
- If your house went up in flames and you had a chance to save only three things, which would you choose and why?
- What topics or situations inflame you? Do you think they are important to you? Because?
- Isolate a moment when you have felt satisfied and content. How would you talk about that situation that gave you a sense of satisfaction? Because?
Step 2. Determine which qualities match your values
Once you have finished answering these questions, try to identify the qualities that match your values. In other words, read your answers and decide which characteristics best match your values.
For example, if you choose to give one of your favorite books, a family heirloom, and a gift to your best friend, maybe this gesture means that you value intelligence, loyalty, and friendship. Therefore, you could define yourself, in fact, intelligent, loyal and a good friend
Step 3. Think about activities that allow you to value your values
Once you have established what you value most and what your qualities are, you can begin to understand which activities make you feel fulfilled. Make a list and choose at least one to add to your life.
- For example, if you wrote "community" in your values, you could volunteer to supervise the neighborhood, tutor someone, or work in a canteen. If you have "faith" in your values, you may be looking for a way to introduce your religiosity into other areas of your life, for example, by joining a mission or attending your church, temple, mosque, or another place of worship, more regularly.
- By living a life "consistent" with your values (which means that your choices and your path coincide with your principles), you are more likely to feel satisfied and happy.
Advice
- Fill your life with love and laughter. Let yourself be surrounded by your family if you live in a peaceful and caring family environment. Otherwise, avoid this dysfunctional context and look for positive friends who can support you.
- Commit to something. Having no passions, interests or anything to keep the mind busy is depressing and can introduce people into a vicious cycle of gobbling doubts, feelings of inadequacy and sadness.
