Most interpersonal relationships are based on trust. When a baby or child has a physical (such as hunger or discomfort) or an emotional (love, tenderness, smiles, hugs, kisses) need that is not satisfied, they begin to lose faith in the caregiver. Without trust it is impossible to build a healthy, positive and interactive relationship with the mother or guardian, and this sets the stage for the appearance of a reactive attachment disorder, or DRA, which has many implications. Go to step one to find out how to identify this disorder if you suspect your baby has it.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Recognizing DRA in Infants
Step 1. Watch it grow
Children with DRA do not thrive psychologically, emotionally or cognitively. This anomalous development shows itself in several forms:
- From a physical point of view: the newborn cannot gain weight due to poor nutrition.
- From an emotional point of view: when the baby is agitated, he cannot calm down, because he does not believe that there is someone who can comfort, support and transmit affection to him.
- Cognitively: based on previous experiences, the newborn is able to form an even more accurate representation of how his mother or guardian will respond to his needs.
Step 2. Watch him play
As already explained, children with DRA do not actively engage in play or activities. They are usually so-called "good children", easy to manage and do not require much supervision or supervision. Often they do almost nothing.
When they move they seem apathetic and lethargic, play as little as possible with toys and don't bother to explore the world around them. Children are naturally curious, but those who experience this disorder are not
Step 3. Notice if there is a clear lack of attachment to the mother or guardian
Infants with DRA do not distinguish between their mother, with whom they have no affinity, and a stranger. This is why they often tend to seek links with adults they do not know, a totally different behavior from healthy children, who seek the comfort of people they trust and love.
You can understand how this can be a problem later on. If a child or young boy is able to find refuge in a stranger, it creates the prerequisite for a variety of problems. This aspect of DRA leads to the development of impulsive and radical behavior in adulthood
Step 4. Look at the relationship between the parent and the baby
When the relationship between the two is based on affection, attachment and a strong bond, the child is able to develop empathy, social skills and other skills that allow him to regulate emotions effectively. If the relationship does not convey this sense of security, however, the child is unable to develop any of those skills. How is the child treated by the mother or guardian? Do you immediately go to him when he cries? Is the environment in which you live positive?
Here is what Freud said about the relationship between mother and child: "The relationship between a mother and her child is the prototype of any other future relationship". He was right, especially regarding this disorder. The course of this relationship will most likely affect all relationships that you will have over the course of your life
Part 2 of 3: Recognizing DRA in Babies and Toddlers
Step 1. Learn how a "repressed" DRA manifests itself
The child suffering from this subtype of the disorder is unable to engage in and carry on social interactions, and tends to avoid any kind of social contact.
When his needs are not met, the child feels deprived of love and affection, which leads him to believe that he is unwanted and not worthy of receiving care, attention and affection. As a result, he becomes insecure, which prevents him from showing confidence in relationships with others. All this is projected on his self-esteem, which suffers continuously
Step 2. Learn how unrepressed DRA manifests
Some children with DRA project their social preparation openly and excessively. They seek the comfort, support and love of any adult, regardless of whether they are family members or strangers. This type of behavior is often seen in a promiscuous way and can lead to very serious problems.
Children of this type have learned not to trust those they "should" trust, and instead seek satisfaction from strangers. Often the difference between repressed and unrepressed DRA is noticeable later in time
Step 3. Look for any behaviors that indicate lack of self-control or aggression
These types of behaviors are often confused with ADHD (learning deficit syndrome), however DRA sufferers can also exhibit these inclinations:
- Compulsive lying and theft
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Indiscriminate affinity towards strangers, inappropriate and risky behaviors from a sexual point of view.
Importantly, these are not behavioral problems, as they might seem, but more concretely they are the result of improper brain development caused by the neglect and abuse suffered during the first months and years of life
Step 4. Look at school results
When the child fails to establish bonds, his brain begins to neglect the intellectual aspects of growth, focusing on those related to survival. This is why these children tend to have poor school results. Their brain is unable to undertake the evolutionary path capable of guaranteeing the perfect development of every aspect of it. And since the brain suffers this delay, learning is also affected.
This delayed brain development explains why children with DRA exhibit particular behaviors such as aggression, manipulation, compulsive lying, delusions of control and regression. Explain why they are so aggressive and cannot control their anger. They resort to destructive behavior without showing remorse, precisely because they don't understand it
Step 5. Observe how the child makes friendships
As the child grows, he develops a sense of detachment and abandonment, losing confidence in himself and in others. This contributes to his inability to establish long-term relationships and friendships. The sense of inadequacy (feeling unwanted and undeserving of affection and love) that arises the moment his emotional and physical needs have been ignored continues to grow and devours his self-esteem. It is a recursive and vicious circle, which it does not seem able to stop.
Given his low self-esteem, the child cannot conceive the idea that someone wants to be his friend, so he acts as if he doesn't need anyone. This type of behavior causes people to turn away from him. To fill the void caused by loneliness and depression, people with this disorder often resort to alcohol and drugs
Step 6. Notice how aggressive he is
Children of this type have many delusions of control, so they tend to be manipulative and aggressive. Their brains are too busy developing survival tactics and strategies, so they lose the ability to learn how to approach others in a positive way to get what they want.
Children with DRA do not trust others and their intentions, they believe that the best way to get what they want is to manipulate others, behave aggressively and put pressure on them. They fail to familiarize themselves with the concept of positive reinforcement and behavior
Step 7. Observe how he controls his impulses
The child may show symptoms of ADHD, attention deficit disorder, this indicates low impulse control. He will not hesitate to do things that other children usually do not do (or at least seriously think about doing them) and will not worry about thinking about the consequences and impact of his behavior on himself and on others.
Pay attention to inappropriate or risky sexual behavior. Children with RAD sometimes exhibit promiscuous behavior. They show a strong affinity with strangers and tend to get involved in sexual behavior, often with more than one person at a time
Step 8. See if he can maintain eye contact
A normal baby is able to perfectly maintain eye contact in the first days of life. He learns it from his mother, who looks him straight in the eye showing him affection and love. On the other hand, when a child is not treated as he should, he cannot understand the meaning of eye contact and shows signs of discomfort and overstimulation in the face of this experience.
All this is interconnected with his lack of social skills and the desire not to develop intimate relationships. Every aspect of his involuntary thoughts, words, and behaviors indicates that people in his world cannot be trusted
Part 3 of 3: Understanding the Disorder and Attempting Therapy
Step 1. Understand the definition of DRA
Reactive attachment disorder appears in infants and children. It is characterized by persistent anomalies in the child's social relationships associated with emotional disturbances and changes in the surrounding environment. Children suffering from this disorder do not show the typical childhood responses to stimuli. Eg:
- They often respond to something reassuring with fear, remaining constantly alert.
- Children often show interest in interacting with their peers, but their negative emotional reactions prevent them from any form of social involvement.
- In the case of stressful experiences, his emotional disturbances could manifest themselves with the lack of emotional responses, with regressive or aggressive behaviors.
- They present an extreme form of reluctance to accept reassuring or affectionate behavior, especially when they are stressed, or an excessive and indiscriminate attempt to receive affection and comfort from all types of adults, including strangers.
Step 2. Rule out pervasive developmental disorders
The DRA is due to the surrounding environment, but the child is perfectly capable of showing appropriate responses to social stimuli, while those suffering from pervasive developmental disorder are unable.
- Although abnormal patterns of social behavior are the dominant element of the DRA, these symptoms can disappear over time if the child is placed in an environment where he is cared for. This type of improvement does not occur in children with developmental disorders.
- Children with DRA may show developmental deficiencies in language, however this does not mean that they have characteristics of abnormal communication, as it does in autism.
- Children with DRA respond to environmental changes, and the symptoms of the disorder are NOT due to severe and persistent cognitive defects. They do not have repetitive, stereotyped and persistent behavioral patterns (as happens instead in autism).
Step 3. Reflect on the child's experiences with the responsiveness of the guardian or mother
To be able to make a diagnosis, it is not necessary to fully understand the child's experiences in relation to the mother's reactivity, but it can be useful information to report to the therapist in order to have a better overview.
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DRA almost always arises in response to serious deficiencies in the care of the child. It can appear due to one or more of the following events:
- Sudden separation from the mother, usually between six months and three years.
- Frequent change of guardian.
- Lack of responsiveness of the guardian to the child's attempts at communication.
- Serious forms of neglect or abuse.
- Particularly incapable parents.
- Constant neglect of the child's physical and emotional needs.
Tell if a Child Has Reactive Attachment Disorder Step 16 Step 4. Learn about the environments that favor the onset of DRA
It is true that as a rule, children are able to resist any change in their environment and living conditions. They manage to adapt and do their best to get used to pre-existing situations and conditions. However, the following situations may favor the onset of DRA:
- The child lived for a long time in an orphanage or in a foster home.
- The child lived in a house with very strict principles and strict rules.
- The child grew up in school facilities, away from parents and other loving figures.
- The parents were too busy caring for the other children and left the child at the mercy of an incapable guardian.
- The child spent a long time with a guardian and managed to establish a good relationship, but then a detachment took place for various reasons.
- The child witnessed quarrels, fights and arguments between parents.
- Parents have experienced anger management problems, stress, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, or other personality problems.
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The child was physically, sexually or emotionally abused at home.
Once again it is good to remember that these are hypothetical situations. There is no certainty that the child will develop DRA by living these experiences
Tell if a Child Has Reactive Attachment Disorder Step 17 Step 5. What to do if a child is thought to have DRA
Remember that it is important to know all the stages of a child's development and relationships with parents, but also that those who live the experiences listed above do not necessarily end up suffering from DRA. Even if your child exhibits any of the symptoms listed, they don't necessarily have the disorder.
Try your best not to jump to conclusions. If you are concerned about your child's health, see a doctor or pediatrician. A professional figure is able to confirm or not your opinions regarding the health of the child
Advice
- DRA usually develops in children under the age of 5 and can last until adolescence and maturity.
- For the record, the symptoms and behaviors described for the DRA share similarities with other specific childhood disorders, such as autism, ADHD, anxiety disorders, social phobias and post-traumatic stress disorders. Be very careful before making any diagnoses.
