When you visit someone's home, be it close family members, more distant relatives, friends or colleagues, and also when you pay to stay in a Bed & Breakfast (B&B) or to share an apartment, it is important to be a guest. educated. This could make a huge difference between having a pleasant stay and never being invited again. Following these tips will help you make your stay enjoyable for yourself and your guests.
Steps
Step 1. Be specific about your arrival and departure dates
Don't let your visit seem "unlimited". Also, don't book your air ticket unless you have discussed it with your host first. If the latter agrees about certain dates, do not try to add more days without first talking to him, and respect the fact that he will have to discuss your stay with his wife.
Step 2. Arrive at the scheduled time
Don't go first. Your host may not be ready to welcome you and your early arrival could cause considerable inconvenience. If for some unforeseen reason you have taken your connecting flight early or have an extra day of vacation and want to arrive earlier, call them to let them know. In case he appears hesitant, tell him that you will be happy to leave the plans under your original arrangement, then find something else to do with your extra time.
This will also depend on where you will be staying; Your mom and dad probably won't mind at all, but a friend, colleague, or even sibling may have other commitments, so don't ask them to change plans
Step 3. Do not show up several hours after or the day after your expected arrival date
This may annoy many guests, worried about what happened to you or annoyed that they may have had to rearrange their diaries to welcome you. This charges the atmosphere with bad vibrations. Again, if for some reason you are late, call them and explain what happened. They will understand this, but only if you have given reasonable explanations to justify your change of plans.
Step 4. Be courteous by letting your guest know what your plans are and by clearly communicating when you will be home and when you will leave
If you won't be staying with your host all the time, discuss your plans with him to make sure you don't inadvertently cause him inconvenience. Don't leave the house, even for a quick errand, without telling them! Your guest shouldn't be in a position to guess if you have gone somewhere or if you are in your room with the door closed.
Step 5. Don't extend your visit
Your host may not be on vacation like you (most people have to work while you rest) and, even though they have kindly invited you to their house, they have already organized their normal routine despite your presence. His hospitality also requires a certain investment of time, energy and money to buy extra food and drink, to pay bills and other costs. If you are unsure about your departure date, keep your host updated regarding relevant changes as they develop - he should not guess or ask you what your plans are for departure, especially if you are staying at his house for more than two weeks.
Step 6. Bring a thank you gift and give it when you arrive
Offering something as a means of showing your anticipated gratitude to your host is a warm and affectionate gesture. Show your appreciation for his important contribution in making your stay enjoyable. Nice and inexpensive gifts include a bottle of fine wine, a box of chocolates, a fruit basket, a bouquet of flowers or perhaps a music CD from artists from your region or country. If you don't want to carry excess weight, consider sending him something before your arrival or buying a gift on the go.
Step 7. Be flexible and adapt
The living space designated for short-term and temporary seating is your full-time guest's home. Make a conscious effort to adapt to his preferences and habits. To be clear, ask him about his expectations during your stay (for example, ask him if he expects to share meals with you, what time he wants the lights to go out, etc.). It is especially important to wake up at the same time as your host (or at least when your children do) and accept that there are other people living in this house as well. Understand that if your kids wreak havoc at 7am on weekends (and you and your wife are still asleep while they roam around the house), you should know if your host (who has a demanding full-time job) while you're on vacation) will tolerate it.
Step 8. Keep the area reserved for you clean
Make your bed before you go for breakfast or pull back the sheets and blankets to air it out if that's what your guest prefers. Be careful not to dirty the carpet, sofa or bedspread with oil, salt or dirt accumulated on the bottom of your suitcase: to prevent this, do not drag it on wheels around the house. Keep your luggage and belongings so that they obstruct as little as possible, especially if the room is a shared space or if your guest passes by. Simply closing the door to hide the clutter is no solution. Don't leave your personal belongings on the dining room table all day and all night, and remember to clean it when your guest is setting and preparing a home-cooked meal for you and your family. Be careful and tidy with your things.
- Try to put the suitcase in a place where it is not in the way to keep the common space tidy.
- If you need closet space, always ask for permission before putting your things inside.
- Remember that this is not your home, but your guest's.
Step 9. Take care of your personal hygiene:
it is essential! Family members may tolerate the habits of other people living in the home because they have had years to do so (or to learn to tolerate them). Shower every day if that's what your guests do, but don't stay under the water for hours, respect the fact that the bathroom isn't yours, and pay special attention to your body odor. What wouldn't be a big deal or what is natural in your home could be offensive in the guest's, and most of them will be reluctant to open up this conversation with you.
- Have you worked outside? Did you sweat or wear shoes without socks? You might want to leave your shoes outside the door, change your shirt, and put on more deodorant.
- Brush your teeth in the morning and evening (or if you've eaten strong smelling food, such as garlic or onions). Also, check if your dirty clothes are holding bad smells and wash them as soon as possible.
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Take showers daily but short: running out of hot water or raising the cost of the electricity bill are also two rude actions towards your guest. If it asks you to open the window after taking a shower to evacuate the steam from the bathroom and protect the paint on the walls, remember this every time you take a hot shower.
- Also, remember that daily showering could be a luxury according to your guests and cause a significant increase in heating and water bills; they may not expect, appreciate, or afford it.
- If you feel you need to shower frequently, but your guests don't think it's a priority, show your appreciation for their kindness by making a contribution upfront to cover the costs so they won't have a growing worry about the your excessive use of heating and water.
Step 10. If you have your own bedroom, leave the door open when you are not there, with the bed neatly made and your belongings neat and tidy
Step 11. Promptly clean up what you dirty
Don't leave dirty dishes in the sink. Even if your host stacks the soiled dishes in the sink, you shouldn't do this, this is considered very rude. You should leave the kitchen cleaner than you found it, and of course it goes without saying that you have to wash the dishes as soon as you finish using them.
Step 12. Be reasonable about sharing the bathroom in the house
If the house has only one bathroom, ask when it is best to use it. In case the family works, the children go to school, etc., the last thing you want is to get in the way. Come to an agreement as soon as you arrive and be flexible about usage. You are also expected to have some education if you sleep in a living area near the one bathroom; remember, others may need to use it after you go to bed. Make sure you do the following:
- Pull the drain and lower the tablet. Don't tell your host that you don't think the tablet should be turned down if he has clearly stated what he prefers in his home.
- Close the taps well so they don't drip, and turn off the lights when you're done.
- If there are multiple bathrooms, be sure to use the one assigned to you and treat others' bathrooms with respect for their privacy.
- Be clean. Check that you have not left hair on the floor or toothpaste stains in the sink. Make sure you always leave the toilet clean.
- Men: It is more hygienic to sit down to urinate. But, if you want to do it standing up, lift the tablet first and, when done, wipe some toilet paper over the edges and put it back.
- Girls: If you feel uncomfortable sitting on the toilet, don't use all the toilet paper to line the toilet seat before you sit down. Rather, use it just enough to clean or urinate without sitting down. If you're not used to this, take a quick look the first four or five times to avoid squirting out of the toilet, as some girls may have difficulty directing the flow of urine. If you can handle this position without errors, there is no need to check the tablet once you're done.
- If you can't find towels for yourself in the guest room, don't assume that the nice ones in the shared bathroom are for you. Ask politely "Which towels do you prefer I use?". If you are given a guest bathroom, keep it clean and always hang towels in an orderly manner.
Step 13. Take care of your cleanliness and try to make sure you don't infect any illnesses to your guests
If you have a contagious disorder, you should take care of your hygiene (use flip flops in the shower and alcohol-based hand gel if you have a cold). If you are traveling with children and they are the ones who are ill, cancel the trip, unless you absolutely have to leave. Nothing is less cheerful than a family destroyed by an intestinal flu infected by its guests.
Step 14. When you get up at night or very early in the morning, remember to be careful and not to disturb your guest
In addition to making him worry and think you might need help, this harassment is significantly objectionable to weary guests. Slamming their doors loudly, turning on the lights outside their bedroom or, in general, making a lot of noise will ensure that you will be remembered as that guest they will never want to have in the house again. Guaranteed.
Step 15. If you share a bathroom, be polite
Don't throw your wet towel on guest towels. As much as they love you, they probably don't want your innermost things to come into contact with theirs. Don't rummage through furniture for a toothbrush, toothpaste, or shampoo. Unless told otherwise, don't latch on their razors, hair products, or creams. Keep the sink and mirror clean. If you have an ailment like tinea, remember to put flip flops in the shower and apply medication so you don't infect your guests. An illness is not a nice gift to give and they certainly won't appreciate it.
Step 16. Take some time to go out on your own, in order to allow your guests to spend time alone without having to entertain you
If you will be staying in this house for some time, it is a good idea to schedule regular walks or retire to your room to read a book or take a nap at an appropriate time. That way, guests can plan to catch up with things they may have put off for your visit.
Step 17. If guests have pets, be respectful of their needs as well
Do not try to "force" your pet to like you or pet it or give it too much attention if it is visibly becoming anxious. Many pets can suffer from stress-related ailments such as diarrhea after having home visits. Do not feed him small pieces of food without first asking the owners if you can.
Step 18. Don't let guests stay up late
Although it's been a long time since you last saw them or you have some unmissable stories to tell. Let them go to bed so that they sleep for a decent amount of hours. You may be so happy to see them that you don't even notice the fact that you are exhausted from traveling, so going to bed at a reasonable time will also benefit you. Similarly, don't sleep late in the morning, forcing your guests to tiptoe to avoid waking you up. Be careful. Bring headphones to listen to music or watch TV so you won't bother them, especially if they'd like to have a quiet time or if they don't share your music or television tastes.
Step 19. Always offer to help cook
There is nothing more debilitating than having guests sit there waiting with an air of expectation for all meals. This is the point where a stay crosses the border and goes from being familiar to being like in a hotel. This doesn't mean you have to kick your guest out of the kitchen, but it does mean setting the table, putting the dishes in the sink, proposing to wash them or load the dishwasher, clean the various surfaces and take the garbage out. You could even cook a couple of meals yourself. If you are not sure what to do, ASK! Even if the host says "Nothing!", Insist that you take care of at least one thing. Very few guests can say no to this offer! This is especially important if they work and you don't. If you take the time to cook for yourself, prepare enough food for your guests too, especially if you use their ingredients and tools.
Step 20. Don't guess
Unless you are specifically told “Use whatever you want” regarding the contents of the refrigerator or pantry, always ask before taking anything and never use the last thing left. This is especially true with leftovers from foods that cannot be easily re-cooked or with expensive items. If you really have to eat your host's food but he is not available to ask him if you can, it is a good idea to buy back what you ate. The level of importance of foods and household items is often based on convenience (for example, if the supermarket is far away and you eat the last remaining portion of a food, your host is more likely to take it. supermarket is easily accessible, you won't have the same problem) and your host's type of income (for example, makes a lot of money and spends without even worrying; this person probably cares less about food rationing than someone who earns a lot little and living on a tight budget). But keep in mind that many people who make a lot of money frequently find themselves facing guests whose attitude is to assume they can afford anything; to be kind and make a nice surprise, it helps, even if this should be declined. In most cases, your guests probably won't say anything if you make a misstep like one of these, but that doesn't mean they haven't noticed. In an effort to avoid any tension or inconvenience with your host, you should follow the rule "if you have eaten something, then you must replace what is missing". Note: buying the same product but putting it in a separate area from that of the common food, eating it all yourself or taking it with you when you leave does not mean replacing it. If you decide to consume the food of your guests, who buy strictly organic food, do not replace it with conventional items: make the effort to buy similar products or not to consume their food. Finally, don't assume it's okay to rummage through closets, drawers, and so on. Ask where you can find what you need or if they can give it to you.
Step 21. Offer to make contributions
Even if you don't eat in your guests' house, plan to shop at the supermarket (after all, you will still need toilet paper!). This is usually the heaviest additional cost for guests. Remember that they have probably already been shopping for extra products and have spent a good amount of time and money preparing for your arrival. You could finance their next trip to the supermarket or offer to go out and buy what you and them need (ask for a list). If making a list embarrasses them, make regular financial contributions, such as accompanying your guests to the store and paying for what they choose to buy or regularly leaving some money in a visible place indicating that they are for the grocery. In case your guest does not accept it, make sure you always buy items that are the same as those they use at home. For stays that are longer than a couple of days, helping with these costs is crucial! Whatever the length of your stay, you should at least offer to take your guests out for dinner. It should be a restaurant to their liking; while suggesting a suitable place, however, they may like another place, where they prepare regional dishes, especially because they will think it will be a way to make a good impression on you, who may not know the cuisine of the city well.
Step 22. Watch out for cultural / personal / family differences
For example, you might be an omnivore stopping by a vegan family; if so, it is always polite to try what they offer you. Be respectful and don't criticize your guests' preferences. If eating a certain type of food is a violation of your cultural or religious beliefs, let your guests know before you arrive. They will surely appreciate your advice and respect what you believe about culture or religion. And if you've always thought that men shouldn't do housework, while your guests claim otherwise, it's time to step out of your comfort zone and contribute to the home as everyone is expected to do. Remember, your friend's wife is not your cook or maid, and if she doesn't agree with your stay, he may show you the door, so adapt. It is irrelevant whether you have known each other for centuries or the fact that you treat your wife as if she were a waitress: your friend will absolutely be on his woman's side if he sees you behaving as if you despise her or as if you consider her your maid.
Step 23. Appreciate what you are given
Show appreciation for local food, things to see and attractions. Don't criticize or compare what you see or do by clearly saying that the place you live is better. If your host cooked a meal at home, show your gratitude by offering to look after others. If your host has been kind enough to have prepared a special stay for you (e.g. gave toys to your children), be sure to return what is given to you in the same condition as before (e.g. toys should be intact, in the right boxes, etc.), so that it won't have to waste time putting it back into place once you're gone.
Step 24. Do your laundry
Don't be ashamed to ask if it's okay to take care of your laundry in your guest's home. He will understand that after a few days you will have finished your clean underwear. Don't make the request giving the idea that you hope he can add your laundry to his. And never assume that the washer or dryer is always available; always ask when is the most convenient time for you to wash your clothes, emphasizing that you don't want to intrude on your normal family routine.
Step 25. Entertain yourself
Your guests are offering you their home, but not necessarily their time. Let them tell you clearly if they have free hours to accompany you to various places or to spend entire afternoons with you. Maybe they work from home and need to make phone calls without hearing the television on in the other room. They may work outside the home during the day or work night shifts and sleep during the day. Do not assume that you can count on their generosity to accompany you to the places you want to visit or to be your tour guides. Be prepared to take public transport and taxis. Alternatively, rent a car for yourself, especially if you plan to see many of the local attractions or are more active than your guests. They may have already visited their city many times, especially if it is a tourist destination. If they take you to sights they know instead, be sure to pay for their tickets in case you need to. After all, you would have had to pay a lot more if you went on an organized tour or if you had the obligation to finance the accommodation yourself. Paying for tourist attraction costs is up to you, not your guests.
Step 26. Get home on time
Unless you have a clear agreement with your guests, which is that you will go out and that you will come home when you like, give them an idea of when you will return. If they cook dinner for you too, get home at least an hour before the meal. This gives you time to assist with the preparation, allows you to help set the table and complete other household chores. If you are late for a meal, call first and explain what happened. Better yet, if you've been out all day for the purpose of sightseeing and you know you'll be home late, don't go there hungry, thinking your host is waiting for you to eat. Have dinner while you are out or take home what you eat (a pizza will be enough!), Buying enough quantity that you can also offer it to your guests. Be very quiet when you arrive late, and if you have been given a key, use it. Finally, turn off the lights and make sure you've locked the door.
Step 27. Be careful about internet and telephone use
If you need to surf the web or make phone calls in your guests' home, instead of believing you can safely use all of this, be sure to ask them first so they know if you can. If there are any extra costs related to your use (especially with long distance calls), be sure to leave adequate compensation. Better yet, use your mobile. Regardless of the economic implications, sitting on the internet all night is rude. If you use your guests' computer, be polite and just check your favorite emails and updates and then shut everything off and go back to the conversation. In case you need to read your emails, why not do it at a local café or library instead of your guests' home? This will be less intrusive and won't interrupt their schedules (e.g. children's homework, etc.).
Step 28. Leave a thank you gift upon your departure
Again, this shouldn't be too expensive if the visit was short; a small gift of appreciation is enough to make them understand that they have appreciated the hospitality. The value of the gift should be relative to the length of your stay. A bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, some fresh berries, or a handwritten note are kind thoughts. Do a lot of research and try to pick something that you know they like. Think about it for a while to figure out how you would like your guests to remember you. Do you want to be invited again? If you can't go to a store to buy a suitable gift, consider having flowers delivered to their home. Remember, certain flowers in some cultures are associated with mourning, ask and use common sense.
Step 29. Remove the sheets from the bed before leaving
You are not in a hotel and your guest will have to wash your sheets and towels when you are gone. Make it easier by removing sheets, pillow cases, and other bedding items. Arrange them in a clean pile at the foot of the bed or in the laundry basket. Better yet, start washing them to please them. After all, you've probably washed your clothes during your stay, so you'll be familiar with using the washer and dryer. During your visit, if you have stayed long enough to wash the sheets during your stay, take care of them yourself and make the bed you sleep in. Be sure to keep utility and detergent costs in mind if you are going to leave money for your guests. Do they rely on a cleaning company for their home? Offer to pay for their services yourself. You could also propose contributing to the cost of detergents and laundry (especially if your guest lives in an apartment building, where coin-operated washers and dryers are expensive).
Step 30. Go quietly and politely
If you have to leave very early in the morning, say hello to everyone the night before. In case you leave at night or at dawn, book a means of transport. Don't expect your host to drive you to the airport or bus station unless they suggest it, even if you are leaving at a reasonable time. If you leave when your guest is at work or away, be sure to agree with him in advance about where to safely leave the keys and know for sure how to properly lock the house.
Step 31. Don't extend your stay
A short stay is pleasant and makes everyone feel good, leaving good memories. As Ben Franklin said, "The fish and the guests stink after three days." If you will be staying for a longer period, consider making arrangements to run the house or find ways to leave and stay somewhere else for a few days to give your guests their privacy. If you think you are an exception to this rule because you have been friends for 20 years, retrace your steps. Do you think your friend, married with no children, wants to host your family, with two children, for an extended period of time? The answer is probably no. If you think you are the exception to the rule, go ahead and see what happens. And by this we mean asking "Do you think this organization will work for you?" instead of saying “Dude, sorry but we're here now”. The last sentence merely states the obvious and is not a useful way to give your guest a convenient and quiet way to suggest alternative accommodation options.
Step 32. Send a thank you note
Send a small note or e-card to say thank you once you get home. Of course, it will seem that the thanks are too many, but it is polite to acknowledge the fact that your guests have opened the doors of their home to you and this potentially keeps them open for another stay, because your visit will be positively remembered by all. This is especially important when you know that the time of your visit was not ideal for your guests but they still agreed to let you stay with them. An example of a suboptimal moment arises when the visit occurs for an extended period of time before the guests' wedding or other milestones of the family, and this is very important to show your explicit appreciation if you have not helped with cooking or cleaning or you have not offered financial contributions to finance your stay.
Step 33. Do not invite other people into your guest house without first consulting them
This is a basic courtesy rule, because you are not at home. Inviting your friends during the day or staying overnight without your host's permission is not appropriate. Respecting your host's authority regarding simple rules such as who can go to their home is of prime importance. Whether the extra visitors are nice and nice or loud and rude, having even more people around will be an extra financial burden, but also an inconvenience, especially if they haven't been personally invited by your guests. 34 Don't act like you're in your home.
Be respectful of their things and adapt to their lifestyle. There may be children, pets, elderly parents, etc. at their home, and maybe you're not used to living like this. After all, you certainly knew what you were up against before you left! Make the most of the experience and try to learn something from what you experience. Also, be very careful of language when you are with younger children. They will remember your words and repeat everything you say, good or bad. You should adapt your lifestyle, don't expect them to get used to yours. 35 Speak in their own language, literally.
If you are hosted in a home where a foreign language is spoken, try to use yours moderately when you are with your guests. This is a general courtesy rule that applies to other situations as well, but it is more important when guests are around and are trying to entertain you or just living their lives normally.
Advice
- Some guests are very fussy about order and cleanliness. In addition to being as neat as possible, also pay attention and offer to clean for them instead of only doing it when you are the one doing the mess. You can clean the table or wash the dishes. If you notice (after a few days' stay) that the floor needs a sweep or that the carpet would do well with a vacuum cleaner, propose to do so. Measure what you will do based on what you know about their usual way of cleaning the house and do it with care and attention.
- If you have special dietary needs, bring your own food. Offer to take care of your particular dietary needs and be clear about how this applies to food preparation. However, be prepared to cook on your own. If you haven't been able to bring what you need, ask your guests where you can get it.
- Pay attention to your guests' home safety instructions; you don't want to expose them to insurance problems if you don't lock the door properly. Take care of the keys they lend you. Offer to replace the one you used.
- Sometimes, due to certain differences between your lifestyle and that of your guests, you may feel like you are walking on eggs, but remember, it should be possible to come to a tolerant arrangement for a comfortable stay. Be open, honest, and caring. If it becomes clear that your stay is irritating, discuss with your host how you could do things to improve the situation.
- Always offer to help in the kitchen. Use common sense: if it is clear to you that your host likes to cook alone and that your help is not necessary, leave him alone. If so, there are other ways you can help out around the house. Think broadly about how you can help. Respect his traditions and choices, just as you would like him to do in your home.
- Some guests are not bright and cheerful upon waking and may be used to having a quiet, private moment. If you don't know what to do, opt for the choice of giving your guest some time alone, maybe that's what he wants.
- Some guests like people who serve themselves and who make themselves at home. For example, some will appreciate you picking up your snacks from the kitchen yourself, while others won't. Try to find out what your guest prefers or hates.
- If your host offers to take you around, at least pay for the gas! Remember, for your guest, picking you up at the airport or bus station represents a journey outside of their usual circuit. It's still cheaper for you than taking a shuttle or taxi, and the cost shouldn't be borne by your host. Always be generous. Don't forget that it is an insult to your guest to leave only token money, covering a very small proportion of its costs, unless you are able to return the favor shortly. When giving money to pay for gas and food, be sure to adequately acknowledge additional expenses, such as the extra costs of picking you up at the airport (other examples include parking and other travel expenses dedicated to you and your take you around, as well as basic foods and utilities). Otherwise, you run the risk of making your kind guest feel like he's taken for granted and used. It is preferable to contribute financially on a regular basis during your stay, as soon as you have to pay. Your host will appreciate it, see your gratitude “live” and can then be grateful and thank you immediately for contributing on a regular basis.
Warnings
- Always keep your personal belongings (clothes, toys, wallets, etc.) away from common areas. Your guest may not be the neatest person in the world, but they certainly won't like your things scattered throughout the living room, dining room, and kitchen furniture.
- Never ever gossip about your guests or criticize them, their homes and family members, especially during your stay. He is disrespectful and rude. You will only act as if you were an ungrateful guest, and it will also be difficult for those you gossip with to host you. Avoid gossip about other guests present or guests you have had in the past, this will make your current guests ask what you will ever say about them.
- Do not interpret your stay in someone's home as being allowed to enter all rooms, to look in closets, or to intrude into areas where you have not been explicitly invited. Respect your guest's privacy by choosing to be on the side of caution, even if you are staying with friends or family.
- Don't bring a pet with you, even if you would leave it outside, without asking. In case your host seems hesitant when you ask him to take him with you, don't. Not everyone loves your dog as much as you do. If he gives you permission, regularly clean up what he dirties.
- Always replace what you break. Even if this is an accident, you are responsible, and you should do the right thing for your guest by fixing the broken item, replacing it or leaving the money to buy it. Doing so shows that you respect other people's things. If you do nothing, you can leave bad memories and they will surely find out about it in the circles of family or friends.
- Have you been invited by your host for this stay or have you invited yourself? If it was you who proposed going to him, this is the case most of the time, these steps are of paramount importance to return on the occasion of another visit. Even though you have been invited by your guests, keep all these steps in mind and dedicate them carefully. Remember, you may be on vacation, but they are not. Make offers to help and stick to your commitment. Your actions, or lack of them, will be kept in the guest memory bank and, good or bad, will be remembered when you ask to return!
- If you can't find your way around the city, ask your host to accompany you when you go out so you won't get lost.
- If you and your wife don't talk to each other about certain topics, this is a recipe for real disaster when you spend a significant period of time under your friends' roof. Your wife should not assume that you have offered to do something about your stay (or express gratitude in another way) and you should not believe that your wife has to do something around the house to make up for your stay, especially if she is particularly busy. with the children; in short, if you have not offered anything in return to the guests and if your family thinks that the guests have to serve everyone, they will find themselves in a state of confusion wondering what is wrong with your relationship.
- Don't think about saving. Nobody likes stingy people, especially stingy and arrogant guests are not welcome. If you're really having financial problems, be humble and show your appreciation by offering to help around the house. If so, you should feel even more grateful that your family or friends are willing to help you during a time of need. The wrong thing to do is lie down on the sofa after eating food cooked by them, not help with washing dishes or other chores, and leave without leaving a thank you note. If you haven't been helpful, you should at least be grateful, but neither helpful nor grateful after staying for two months at your friend's house with two children immediately before their wedding… well, that's a nightmare for any guest!
- Even though you think your friends are doing well financially, this is not a valid excuse for not making a contribution or not expressing appreciation for your stay. Your friends are not your parents. A heartfelt expression of appreciation should suffice, but leaving without thanking or doing other things is unthinkable.
- Be helpful and remember that being helpful means doing those things your guests normally need to accomplish. Being helpful means that you are saving your guest time, energy and other expenses. If you visit it with two children and they drop the food all over the floor when they eat and then you sweep to fix it, this is not helpful, because you would only take care of your family. Similarly, if you take the trash out and think you are helping, you should recognize that hosting a family of four who eat three meals a day causes your guests, married and childless guests who work all day, to accumulate much more trash. If you are staying at your friend's house for two months, cooking only for your family and not contributing financially, cleaning for you and taking out the trash is really the least you can do.