It is not easy to show yourself and feel at ease during a party, an appointment or other gathering occasions. With time and some effort you have the opportunity to create a relaxed, friendly and inviting atmosphere thanks to which you can attract people's attention and improve the way you relate to them. By communicating openness with body language, learning to converse with others and looking after your appearance, you can appear and feel more available to people.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Being Affable Through Body Language
Step 1. Don't hesitate to smile
A warm, inviting smile can put anyone at ease and give the impression that you are having a good time. People will notice this and think that you are warm, pleasant and open to dialogue. According to some studies, a beautiful smile also helps reduce anxiety, blood pressure and heart rate, consequently allowing you to feel comfortable when socializing with others!
Step 2. Take an open posture
When people feel distressed, they have a tendency to physically withdraw from others. So, pay attention to your posture. If you feel nervous or in a bad mood, remember to stand straight, keep your arms at your sides, and lean slightly towards your partner. In this way, you will improve your mood and be able to impress the people around you.
- Show interest in other people's speeches by leaning towards them as they speak. Move your feet, legs and body in front of your interlocutor. By taking this position, you will let him know that you are listening and are interested in his story.
- Don't cross your arms. When you keep them in a closed position, you risk sending a negative message, such as "I'm too busy" or "Leave me alone". Others will watch your body to see if you are available, so pay attention to the signals you send out.
Step 3. Look people in the eye
It is normal to look around and feel more likely to strike up a conversation with those who meet our gaze. Do not stare at the floor or feet. Look up and pay attention to your surroundings to get other people's attention.
When someone approaches, smile and maintain eye contact as you speak. In a one-on-one conversation, you just need to look the other person in the eye for 7-10 seconds, while in a group conversation, 3-5 seconds are enough. This way, you will show that you are a pleasant and interested person
Step 4. Don't fret
Sometimes you feel nervous, bored, or in a bad mood, but if you want to appear more affable, be careful not to express negative emotions. Walking back and forth, biting your nails, twisting your hair, and fiddling with your hands will give the impression that you are bored, stressed, or nervous. So, become aware of these habits and take a few deep breaths when you are tempted to fidget all the time.
- Avoid touching your face frequently. You may feel anxious.
- By stamping your feet on the ground, you will give the impression of being impatient or bored. People may think that you are not interested in the conversation.
Step 5. Imitate the movements of your interlocutor
When chatting with someone at a party or other event, pay attention to their gestures, posture and attitudes and try to imitate them. If he takes an open position, adopt it too. If he gestures while telling an anecdote, try doing the same. By reproducing the body language of your interlocutor, you can create a climate of trust and establish a certain understanding, unless you exaggerate. Within the right limits, you will be able to lay the foundations for a positive relationship and communicate to those in front of you that you enjoy their company.
Before imitating the other person's body language, consider the relationship between you. Avoid doing this if you are dealing with someone who has a higher role than yours. For example, if you behave this way during a meeting with your boss, he may consider you rude and unnatural
Part 2 of 3: Show Yourself Affable Through the Outer Aspect
Step 1. Try to communicate sympathy by choosing the right clothes
Clothing can help you look friendlier and more inspiring. Plus, a presentable look can help boost your self-esteem. Go to a clothing store and ask the clerks to help you choose the most suitable and appropriate garments for your figure. By wearing flattering, versatile clothes that fit you perfectly, you will show that you are a balanced, interesting and self-confident person.
Make sure you wear clean, ironed clothes
Step 2. Choose clothing according to the occasion
If you dress appropriately, you will communicate fairness towards the event and the pleasure of taking part in it. Make sure your clothing is in good taste. People may be less likely to approach if what you're wearing elicits negative opinions.
For example, shorts and sandals are not suitable for a stag party. If you don't know what to wear on a particular occasion, kindly ask the organizer or host if a dress code is to be followed
Step 3. Find the right hairstyle
Ask your hairdresser or barber what haircut they might suit you. It will help you figure out which style suits you best based on your hair texture and face shape. Having a neat appearance, you will not go unnoticed and you will give the impression of having a mild and sociable character.
Step 4. Choose eye-catching colors
Colors can affect how people view you and react to you. Blue, green, and warm earth tones, such as pale yellow and beige, can give you a more affable, trustworthy and confident air. Those wearing red may seem assertive, less helpful and friendly. So, wear clothes in shades that indicate positivity and sociability.
- When you need to show up for a job interview or go to a social event, opt for dark blue or green to make sure those around you feel comfortable.
- Use accessories with warm, less aggressive tones. Wear a green scarf or jacket when you have to go out to lunch with a new group of friends so you can look calm and peaceful.
Step 5. Use a name tag with your name
If you are at work or at a business conference, be sure to wear a tag with your name on it. People will see this as an invitation to get closer and will be more likely to be entertained in a pleasant conversation. In this way, you will be a kind person, open to dialogue and willing to establish contacts.
Part 3 of 3: Conversing with Others
Step 1. Avoid distracting yourself and interrupting the other party during a conversation
The ability to listen plays an important role in the quality of interpersonal relationships and allows you to communicate kindness and availability. When you are talking to someone, allow them to complete their thought or story without interrupting them. Make eye contact, smile and nod to show that you are alert and focused. People will be more likely to talk to you if you appear to be interested and involved.
- Don't check your phone while talking to someone. Be polite and make it clear that you are listening and paying attention to the conversation.
- Focus on what the person in front is saying. Do not wander with your mind and do not get distracted by the other talks around you.
Step 2. Show understanding
When someone recounts a sad or upsetting episode, try to put yourself in their shoes and respond appropriately. Avoid questioning her emotional reaction and don't offer advice unless asked. Sometimes it is enough for people to just express how they feel and receive support rather than advice. By showing support and understanding, you will put them at ease. In return, they will notice your approach and are more likely to talk to you.
If someone tells you that they are distressed because their dog is sick, offer your understanding. Try saying, "I'm really sorry. It must be a really difficult time. I understand how upsetting it can be to learn that your little dog is not well." Let him know that you support him, that you are his friend, and that you understand what he is going through
Step 3. Ask questions
If you don't understand someone's point of view or want to go deeper into a particular topic, invite them to clarify or better articulate their speech. Be attentive and curious about what he is saying. This way, the conversation will be more enjoyable. The interlocutor and everyone else will notice your interest and, as a result, you will show that you have an open and easygoing character.
When you know you have a common interest with someone, you can also ask them a question. For example: "Paolo told me that you have recently been to Berlin. I visited this city many years ago! What did you like most?". By finding common ground, you'll keep the conversation going
Advice
- If you are at a party with friends or celebrating Christmas, give the host a hand. Sometimes just having a task can put you at ease. Plus, it's a great way to show appreciation and availability.
- If you are an anxious person, know that the more you get used to adopting body language that communicates openness, the easier and less stressful it will be over time. You will gradually become more confident.
