Charm is the art of making yourself attractive. Some people are able to charm others simply by walking into a room, while others manage to earn a reputation for being charming only over time. We all have some innate charm, but it's a quality that needs to be honed with practice and patience. Read the article to learn how to use your attitude and body language in the most seductive way possible.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Having a Charming Attitude
Step 1. Be genuinely interested in people
You don't have to like everyone, rather be curious or fascinated. Charming people are ready to walk into a room full of people to talk and spend time with others; they do not remain leaning against the walls waiting for the right moment to leave. What do you care about other people? Perhaps, if you are empathetic, you are interested in their feelings. Perhaps you are interested in the distinctive characteristics of people, or in their knowledge. Use your interest as a basis to get to know people better.
- Above all, learn to ask questions in a polite way, based on your interests, in this way your interlocutors will feel interesting.
- Continue to show your interest by asking more questions; the person you are talking to should never sense that you are trying to end the conversation.
Step 2. Remember people's names when you first meet them
This step takes a lot of effort for some, but if you really want to be glamorous, it will definitely be worth it. When you meet someone, repeat their name to remember them. For example: "Hi Jack, I'm Wendy". If you keep chatting, put it in the conversation. Repeat this one more time when you say goodbye.
- This way, not only will you stick to the name well in your memory, but that person will also feel like you like him and be more open to you.
- When a third person arrives while you are having a conversation, introduce the two people by calling them by name.
Step 3. Act as if you already have an intimate relationship with this person
Treat her in a very friendly way, like she is a friend or relative you haven't seen in a long time. This way, you will avoid the initial embarrassment, speeding up the friendship process when you meet new people. After a while, they will feel completely comfortable in your presence.
Kindness, along with respect, is helpful in making people feel loved and valued. It is a terrific tool for building good relationships
Step 4. Choose topics that may be of interest to those present
When in a group of sports fans, talk about the last game or the incredible success of a new team. Otherwise, target these people's hobbies (fishing, sewing, mountain climbing, movies, and so on), asking pertinent questions and comments.
- Nobody expects you to be an expert. Sometimes you can build a relationship simply by asking questions, without being afraid to sound naive. Some people love to talk about their interests and explain things in detail; if you listen to them, they will surely find you likeable. It is your interest in certain topics and the desire to listen that make you welcome and agreeable.
- Try to have an open mind. Let them explain everything to you, and if someone takes your knowledge for granted, be honest and explain that you don't know much, but you want to learn.
Step 5. Share information about yourself
Otherwise, silence will make you appear too cold and reserved. Share your thoughts as you ask others to do the same to help build a relationship of trust. Your interlocutor will feel special because you will want to talk to him about your life, and in a short time you will have made a new friend.
Part 2 of 3: Exercise Your Charm with the Physicist
Step 1. Look for eye contact
Looking people directly in the eye will allow you to build rapport and have some grip. You will show trust, and even a visual interest in the person you are addressing. Maintain eye contact during the conversation. No matter what the topic is, winning your interlocutor's gaze will make you seem more fascinated.
Step 2. Smile with your eyes too
There are more than 50 types of smiles and some studies show that the most sincere one also involves the gaze, or the Duchenne smile. It is perceived as the most authentic because the muscles that involve the gaze move involuntarily, therefore only when the smile is sincere. Also, if you look at someone and then smile, that person will immediately fall under your spell.
Step 3. Shake hands confidently
Shaking hands with someone you've just met is a polite way to communicate your interest and desire to communicate. Use a firm grip, but not too tight, you certainly don't want to hurt your interlocutor's hand. After squeezing it firmly, release the hand of the person in front of you.
In areas of the world where shaking hands is not a common practice, use a different and appropriate gesture to show interest in the person you wish to talk to. A kiss on both cheeks, a bow, or other physical gesture will get the conversation off to a good start
Step 4. Use fascinating body language
Look at the person you are talking to in the face so as not to appear anxious to leave as soon as the conversation ends. During the course of the conversation, it may be appropriate to use touch gently. For example, you can lightly touch the person's shoulder to emphasize a point in the speech. At the end of the conversation, decide what is the most appropriate gesture to make: another handshake or a quick hug.
Step 5. Check your tone of voice
Use a gentle, quiet voice. Articulate the words well, speak clearly at the right volume. Practice registering while giving compliments and listen to the recording again. Do you seem sincere?
Part 3 of 3: Exercise Your Charm with Words
Step 1. Pay attention to the way you express yourself
Try to sound mature, use a wise tone and polite language. You do not find more fascinating who greets you with "hello" than those who say "What do you say?". Here's another example: Don't use "none of your business", but "it's none of your business". Obviously, don't overdo it, but try to be polite and try to turn all negative expressions into positive ones. All this will make you much more charming.
Step 2. Produce compliments aimed above all at improving the self-esteem of others
Express yourself about something you appreciate in any situation. If you like someone or something, find a creative way to say it and do it immediately. If you wait too long, you may get the timing wrong and appear fake, especially if someone has already beaten you on time.
- If you notice that a person is committing to something, compliment it on it, even if you think it can get even better.
- If you notice a change in someone's appearance (haircut, clothing style, etc.), make a positive comment by specifying a detail that impressed you. If they ask you for your opinion directly, gracefully deflect the question with a general compliment.
Step 3. Accept compliments gracefully
Stop thinking that all compliments are sincere. Even when done without contempt, there is always some hidden jealousy. Accept them in an affable way.
- Go beyond the simple "thank you" by adding something like "I'm glad you like it" or "you're kind to have noticed"; it's a nice way to return the compliment.
- Avoid overturning the compliment. There is nothing worse than receiving an answer like "I wish I was… like you in that situation", because it is the same as saying "No, I'm not what you think; your opinion is wrong".
Step 4. Praise others instead of gossiping
If you are chatting with someone, when naming a person in a positive or negative way, try to mention something you appreciate about that individual. Kind rumors are a powerful tool that will make you both charming and welcome, because the indirect compliment will be 100% sincere. Also, you will seem like someone you can trust, because you will give the impression that you never speak ill of anyone. Everyone will know their reputation is safe with you.
Step 5. Sometimes it is enough to know how to listen to be fascinating
Charm is not always an external quality, but also an internal one. Get the other person to talk about themselves, about something they adore, about something they are passionate about. This will put her at ease and she will be more likely to open up to you.
Advice
- Always smile when you meet someone.
- Do not avoid eye contact. Look people in the eye as you speak.
- When you greet someone, try to make them feel special. He will appreciate it for sure, think you are great, and respond kindly to you.
- Add a dash of humor to conversations. Many people really appreciate who can make them laugh.
- Always be yourself. Being a fake will lead you into a web of lies and soon make people avoid you.
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Improve your posture. Straighten your shoulders and relax them. As you walk, imagine that you are about to cross the finish line: the part of the body you would arrive at is the torso, not the head. If you don't maintain decent posture, your head will be tilted forward, making you look shy and insecure. If you are a woman, walk chest out. It sounds strange, but it is useful for maintaining good posture.
If you don't want your posture to feel strained, strengthen your muscles, including those in the upper back (trapezius and lats), shoulders and chest. Your posture and neck will be erect and perfectly natural
- Always be polite and polite and don't speak loudly or roughly.
- Empathy is a key ingredient of charm. If you don't know what makes people happy or unhappy, you will have no way of assessing whether you are saying the right or wrong thing.
- Your charm also depends on the creativity of your appreciation. Try not to make comments that are too obvious and structure your sentences in a poetic way. It can be useful to prepare expressions or compliments in advance, even if the most charming people are able to create them on the spot. That way, you can be sure you don't repeat them. If you have nothing to say at all, talk about some interesting event.
- Avoid swearing; you would make a good number of people uncomfortable and you would certainly not appear to be a charming person
- Don't brag about your physical appearance. Pulling it too hard could give the impression of being arrogant.
Warnings
- Don't confuse charm with condescension.
- Sometimes you will be forced to express an opinion not shared by most people. It 'does not matter. Try to say it with a little humor to sweeten the pill.
