Stubborn people are able to persevere in the face of obstacles, lead others in dangerous situations, and stand when someone tries to bring them down. If you want to be strong, you will have to work hard, strive to improve your qualities and overcome negativity. It won't be easy, but the energy and resilience you develop over time will prepare you to stand up to anything.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Getting Mentally Stronger
Step 1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses
Take a step back and observe yourself as honestly as possible, wondering what you excel at, what you hate and why. It's not easy, but recognizing your attitudes is the first step in learning how to control them and become a stronger person.
- For example, if you know you are defensive when someone criticizes your work, you are probably afraid of making a mistake or have low self-esteem. You can work on these deeper issues so that criticism doesn't spark a defensive reaction.
- To recognize your inclinations, try to write down the times you panicked, became scared or apprehensive and how you reacted. You may also want to ask a close friend or colleague to suggest some of these situations.
- The process of discovering your strengths and weaknesses can turn you into a stronger person. It takes courage and tenacity to look honestly at yourself, and once you understand in which aspects you need to improve, you will feel compelled to accept this challenge.
- If you have trouble identifying your strengths, find a questionnaire on the Internet, but if you want something reliable, you can take the test that has been developed by the VIA Institute on Character.
Step 2. Learn to react calmly to stress and pressure
The ability to stay strong when things go wrong is a very important quality. Find out what you can do to stay calm and in control in the most stressful situations. So, once the tension subsides, train as much as possible until this exercise is transformed into a natural behavior.
Try a few strategies: breathe deeply, count to 10, go for a walk, sip herbal tea, or drink some water. You can also send a message to your brother or a friend or connect on social networks for a couple of minutes
Step 3. Try to gradually increase your self-confidence
Sometimes, it's common to question your abilities, but if you allow your insecurities to get the better of you, you won't be able to make tough decisions and cope with adversity. When a negative thought crosses your mind, you do everything to frame it in more positive terms (this process is called reframing, or transforming the personal perception of an event). If you are unsure of a decision, use all the information available, choose the best choice and carry it forward with confidence, no regrets.
- For example, if you think: "I will definitely fail", change your view: "Failure is a possibility, but if I don't even try it is assured".
- Identify and develop your skills. You will feel very gratified and, as a result, you will be able to fuel your self-confidence.
- Change your way of thinking and consider unpleasant situations as opportunities for growth. Accept them, push yourself to the limit to find out what you are truly capable of.
- Be aware of cognitive distortions that can affect the way you think and perceive people.
Step 4. Learn to be alone and confront your thoughts
Set aside a few minutes a day to get in touch with yourself. What goal are you focused on? Do you really want to dedicate your mental energies to him? First, accept your thoughts as they are, then strive to slowly frame them in more positive terms that increase strength, self-confidence, and motivation.
Try meditation to focus better and clear your mind. Try to relax, raise your awareness and keep your balance to stay calm in the most stressful situations
Step 5. Respect and accept your emotions
Sometimes, it is normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed. Recognize the apprehension, panic or stress and don't blame yourself for it, or you will get further agitated. Rather, rely on relaxation techniques that allow you not to be subjected to these emotions.
Anger and agitation are not synonymous with weakness, because even the strongest people can take a hard hit. True mental strength lies in accepting, respecting and overcoming these moods so that they don't take over
Step 6. Talk to a friend or therapist if you need more help
If you still do not feel able to cope with the obstacles and difficulties of life, it is only right that you ask for help. Try opening up to a friend or family member you trust or, if you prefer, consult a mental health professional.
- Asking for help does not mean being weak. In reality, you will prove that you are strong enough to know when you need to lean on someone and brave enough to seek the help you need.
- If you confide in a friend or family member, say, "I haven't been feeling very strong lately. I think it will do me good to talk to someone. Would you mind listening to me for a minute?"
Part 2 of 3: Getting Stronger Physically
Step 1. Combine cardiovascular training and muscle strengthening to achieve maximum fitness
Becoming physically strong requires constant effort, but the feeling of confidence and energy you will feel on the physical plane will be more than deserved. Try to strengthen your muscle structure and increase endurance by setting yourself some goals and introducing sport into your daily life.
- Do cardio exercises by running, biking, or swimming a few times a week. Challenge yourself by gradually increasing the distance and participating in certain competitions, such as marathons and triathlons.
- Plan a weightlifting routine to work all muscle groups. As you improve, increase the weight and reps.
- You can also play a team sport, such as football, volleyball, or basketball, to combine cardiovascular activity with play and competition.
Step 2. Train with less rest between exercises
Test yourself by interspersing repetitions or training sessions with less recovery time to adapt your body and regain your energy faster. Don't neglect yourself between sessions, stretch and eat right to avoid accidents and injuries.
For example, if you take a series of 3 shots with a 1 minute break between each of them, bring the recovery interval to 55 seconds, then to 50. Gradually adjust the recovery to avoid getting too tired
Step 3. Eat healthily to get physically better
This way, you will feel good and get the most out of your workout. Choose fresh, natural foods, such as fruits and vegetables, lean meats and fish, nuts, legumes, and whole grains.
Avoid processed and junk foods, such as sodas and fast food. Also, try to limit your sugar intake
Step 4. Increase your body's elasticity to help your joints withstand stress
Greater elasticity eliminates the risk of injury and will allow you to get the most out of physical activity. Stretch your muscles after training, stretching them while they are still warm, to prevent them from hurting you later.
- Don't stretch before starting your workout. Instead, try warming up for 5-10 minutes by taking a walk, skipping rope, or jumping with your legs apart, then stretch your muscles when warm.
- Try yoga if you prefer to practice stretching exercises that work your body and calm your mind.
Step 5. Physically challenge yourself in extreme situations to improve your willpower
Mental and physical strength are closely related. By subjecting yourself to uncomfortable situations, you will accustom the mind to dominate the body, becoming strong enough to withstand the most difficult physical conditions. It's quite a challenging path, so take small steps overcoming one obstacle at a time.
- Adopt uncomfortable habits. For example, you could touch all the lower branches of a tree as you walk. This way, you will get used to exerting your willpower on the body.
- You can also try taking cold showers, walking or running barefoot, or depriving yourself of some pleasures at the table, such as sweets or fast food dishes.
- Get used to it slowly. For example, if you decide to wash yourself with cold water, start by lowering the temperature a few degrees each day.
Step 6. Try different methods to stay fit, such as martial arts and survival techniques
Since the body can get used to doing the same exercises over and over, there is a risk of going into a physical and mental stalemate. Push yourself to the limit of what you can achieve by doing more challenging activities than you have ever tried before.
- Try kickboxing, martial arts, or a survival course.
- By spurring yourself on sports you are unfamiliar with, you can improve your physical and mental stamina.
Step 7. Expose yourself to extreme environments and situations
Being strong does not only mean being sturdy and tenacious, but also knowing how to remain calm and react appropriately in physically demanding situations. Learn survival techniques to overcome the dangers and practice them even when the tension subsides, so you will know what to do in case of unexpected events.
You can practice your survival skills by going camping or taking a training course
Step 8. Overcome difficulties with motivation and commitment
When you are faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle or you are simply feeling tired and unmotivated, remember that the path to getting back in shape is as important as the results. Efforts to become healthier and more robust will allow you to gain physical and mental strength and develop the resilience you need to become stronger.
- However, you need to identify your physical limitations. Don't throw yourself headlong into a sport you've never tried before or an extreme diet. Rather, set yourself the ultimate goal and take all the steps you need to achieve it without taking any health risks.
- Learn the difference between feeling pain and injuring yourself and avoid hurting yourself. If you have recently started exercising at full capacity, consider seeking advice from a personal trainer.
Part 3 of 3: Improving Strength Every Day
Step 1. Set goals and pursue them
Start by planning small goals that are easy to achieve and focus on a couple of goals to accomplish each day or each week. Then match them with some long-term goals so you have something to commit to. So, work hard to achieve them.
- You will likely have a hard time achieving some goals, but the more you try and perceive the results you can achieve, the easier it will be.
- Set short-term goals, such as completing a work or school project a few days before the deadline, preparing a new dish each week, or taking a short walk every day to get in shape.
Step 2. Learn from your mistakes instead of tormenting yourself
Strong people know how to use their mistakes as opportunities for growth and, therefore, become more resilient and productive. Instead of punishing yourself when you make a mistake, take a step back and see what happened, where you went wrong and what you can do to avoid the same mistake in the future.
Don't waste energy crying on yourself or making unnecessary justifications. Take responsibility for your mistakes and try to make things right
Step 3. Don't complain
If you want others to see you as a strong person, do your best to positively prepare yourself and deal with difficult situations without complaining. Complaining is a waste of time that gives you an air of victimhood and inconclusiveness. Behave with tenacity, determination and confidence. You will be an example for everyone.
- If you need to let off steam (it happens to everyone), do it in private. Write down your thoughts or channel repressed energies in a positive way, for example by working out.
- Confiding with negative feelings does not mean complaining. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try saying, "I don't think this is the best way to move the project forward. Why don't we try another path?". Offer different solutions and be open to the ideas of others.
- Resist the urge to worry. Often, talking about one's anxieties conveys a lack of self-confidence.
Step 4. Face obstacles and problems head on
Think about what you are running away from or avoiding and try hard to deal with it. Forget the behaviors that lead you to escape from certain situations, accepting your life as it is and engaging in whatever you want to achieve.
Try to get away from your main distractions so you can clear your head. Try turning off your TV, phone, and computer for an evening or even a few days to focus on the things that deserve your attention
Step 5. Try anything that scares you
You won't be able to get stronger if you just do what calms you down. Try to break out of your protective shell by trying new activities and opening yourself up to experiences that you would normally avoid.
What scares you? Make up your mind to overcome your fear. If you hate public speaking, give a speech at a friend's wedding. If you are afraid of water, take swimming lessons
Step 6. Be strong when others need you
It is much more difficult to take care of others than to act solely for your own good, and strong people always take care of others in the most difficult times. Be strong for your family and friends when they need someone they can rely on. If you see that a stranger needs help, offer it to him. When there is a problem in the party, be ready to lend a hand.
- Take care of your family. Behave reliably and responsibly so that everyone knows they can count on you.
- Step forward and take control of the situation when you need someone capable of managing and coordinating. For example, if you are in a building and the fire alarm goes off, calm people down and get them to safety.
Step 7. Accept changes as they arise
Change is part of life and a strong and resilient person knows that they are not in control of all the reality that surrounds them. Therefore, focus on what you are able to do to achieve your goals, accepting that there is always something out of your control.
- Try to adapt to any situation and learn from the obstacles you can't help but face.
- Accept difficult times and changes you don't want without making the situation bigger. Remember that worse things have happened to you and they can happen again.
Advice
- Learn emotional regulation strategies to protect personal happiness, chances of success, and relationships with others.
- Decide based on your values rather than following the flock.
- Avoid making comparisons with others. Everyone deals with stress differently, so it's possible that what's troubling you doesn't affect other people, and vice versa. Focus on yourself and make changes that help you feel better.
