Fear of the dark can make what should be the most relaxing and rejuvenating moment of your life a real nightmare. It is a fear that affects not only small children; many adults actually suffer from it too, so you don't have to feel embarrassed if you are afraid too, regardless of age. The trick to not being afraid of the dark anymore is to change the perspective and work to make the bedroom a welcoming and safe place, even when the lights are off.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Getting Ready for Sleep
Step 1. Calm down before bed
One way to try to overcome your fear of the dark is to take some time to relax before going to bed. You should turn off all electronic devices at least half an hour before bed, avoid drinking caffeinated drinks after noon, and do something nice and relaxing, whether it's reading or listening to soft music. Creating a state of mind that is as relaxed as possible helps reduce the anxiety that assails you when the lights go out.
- Try doing 10 minutes of meditation. Just sit back and focus on the breath coming in and out of your lungs as you relax all parts of your body, one at a time. Focus only on the body and breath and remove all anxious thoughts from the mind.
- Find a ritual that works for you. You can drink chamomile tea, listen to classical music or cuddle your cat.
- Avoid engaging in any activity that can create anxiety or fear, such as watching the evening news or a violent TV show. You also need to avoid anything that tends to stress you out and may worry you most during the night, like doing your homework at the last minute or having a busy conversation.
Step 2. Try to gradually get used to dimming the lights
It is not necessary to turn them off all at once to overcome the fear of the dark all in one fell swoop. First, you need to know that sleeping in the dark promotes a deeper, more restful sleep than sleeping with the lights on. Take advantage of this fact to be encouraged to sleep in the dark. If you are used to sleeping with all the lights on because of your fear, you can start by dimming them a little before going to bed, or by turning off some of them when you wake up in the middle of the night. This way you can slowly get used to sleeping in the dark.
You can set yourself a goal, such as deciding to sleep with only one night light, or only one light in the other room
Step 3. Challenge your fears
When you go to bed at night, ask yourself what really causes them. If you think there is someone in the closet, under the bed or hiding behind a chair in the corner of the room, it would be good to check that place. So you see for yourself that there is absolutely nothing to see and nothing to worry about. If you can do this, you will feel proud that you have been able to face your fears and you will be able to sleep more peacefully.
- For example, if you know that every little noise at night triggers your fear, you could use a machine that plays white noises or an app that plays nature sounds to counteract the unknown noises of your environment.
- If you wake up with this fear in the middle of the night, tell yourself that the sooner you can control the room, the sooner you will feel better. Don't spend all night worrying about the unknown.
Step 4. Leave some lights on if you really feel the need
Don't be ashamed to keep a light point or a soft lamp on in a corner of the room. If it really does help ease your fears and make you feel less anxious, you don't have to think about having to completely turn off all the lights to stop feeling scared. Also, a night light on in your room or a lamp in another room can help you if you have to get up during the night to go to the bathroom.
Many people sleep with a light on, you don't have to think that you can't get over your fear of the dark as long as you sleep in total darkness
Step 5. Make your room cozier
Another way to deal with your fears is to make your bedroom a comfortable and inviting place to sleep. Keep it nice and clean so you will be less afraid that there may be something hidden under a pile of clothes or in the messy closet. Try to decorate it with warm and bright colors, which have a more serene and positive energy. Don't overfill the room with furniture or objects that can give you a choking feeling. If you try to create a more positive climate, it will be easier to feel safe.
- Hang pictures on the walls that make you feel safe and secure. If you put on dark, mysterious or even threatening figures, they can probably scare you more even without you realizing it.
- Making the room more welcoming allows you to experience it more pleasantly and want to spend more time in it. The goal is to feel safe and happy and not to be afraid.
Step 6. Learn to sleep alone
If you are afraid of the dark, you would probably want to sleep in the same bed as your parents, siblings, or even with your dog. However, if you really want to overcome this fear, you must learn to see the bed as a safe place where you are able to be alone. If you are used to sleeping with your parents or siblings, work out a little at a time to spend only part of the night with them and then go to sleep in your bed.
If you have a dog or cat, they can be a great source of comfort and keeping them in bed with you can help ease your fears. But that said, you don't have to depend on them forever. Getting them to sleep at your feet or in a corner of the room should be enough
Part 2 of 4: Changing the Point of View
Step 1. Change your opinion about darkness
One reason for the fear of the dark could be the idea that darkness is evil, terrible, gloomy, mysterious, chaotic, or any other association with negative things. However, if you really want to overcome your fear, you need to make positive connections with the dark. You might think of the dark as a calming and cleansing element or even a thick velvet blanket that comforts. Make an effort to change your perception of the dark and you will soon be able to accept it.
Write down all the negative things you associate with darkness. While it may seem silly to you, it eventually cuts or tears that sheet of paper. At this point you should instead write some positive things that you can relate to the dark. If it sounds too commonplace, you can say it out loud
Step 2. Think of your bed as a safe place
People who are afraid of the dark are usually afraid of their bed, because they think it is a space that makes them vulnerable to danger. If you want to change your approach to the dark, you need to associate your bed with a source of comfort and protection. Think of it as a place you can't wait to go and not a scary environment. Put some soft and cozy blankets, spend some relaxing moments in your bed, do things that make you want even more to sleep in them at night.
Spend more time reading and feeling comfortable in bed. In this way you will find it pleasant to stay there even at night
Step 3. Don't be ashamed of your fear
Many adults have admitted that they are afraid of the dark. No matter how old you are, you don't have to feel embarrassed by your fears; We all fear something and you should feel proud of yourself for being honest and open about it. In fact, a study showed that 40% of adults admitted to having some kind of fear of the dark. Be proud of yourself for being able to admit that you are afraid and want to take steps to deal with it.
The more open you are about your feelings, the sooner you will be able to cope with them
Step 4. Talk to other people about it
Speaking openly to others about your fear can help you find more support and support to overcome it. Additionally, you may come to find that other people share your fear, and you may even get some good advice to deal with it. Plus, trusting and opening up can feel a little more relieved rather than holding back all your anguish.
Your friends will surely be supportive about your fear and you certainly don't need to worry that they can judge you if they are true friends
Step 5. Get help if you think you need it
The fact is, it is not always possible to fully cope with fear, although steps can be taken to make it more bearable. However, if it feels like it's completely debilitating, causing you to lose sleep, and making your life quite unbearable, it may be wise to seek professional help to analyze your anxieties and what they entail. Remember that you must never be afraid to ask for help.
You can talk to your doctor to find out if the distress is truly debilitating; he may advise you to take medication or another treatment that is more suitable for your situation. You may be able to dig deep to understand the source of all the deepest anxieties that may be contributing to your fear
Part 3 of 4: Helping Your Child Overcome the Fear of the Dark
Step 1. Don't mess with his fear
If you really want to help your child overcome his fear of the dark, you need to show him that there are no monsters under the bed or bad men in the closet. Don't be humorous by saying, "Let me be sure there are no monsters in the closet tonight!" Instead, make it clear that it is impossible for any monster to be in any closet. This can help the child understand that his fear is irrational.
- If you joke with his fears, your child will think that there is indeed a possibility that a monster or bad man could sneak into the dark sooner or later. You may think that this will help the baby in the short term, but in reality, it will only confirm his fears.
- You don't have to be there all the time "checking under the bed" for your child; instead you have to teach him that there is absolutely no use in controlling, ever.
Step 2. Make sure your baby has a relaxing bedtime ritual
Another way to help him overcome his fear of the dark is to organize a relaxing and calming bedtime routine. Make sure you take the time to read a book before bed, avoid giving him a soda drink or some sugary treats late in the evening, prevent him from seeing disturbing images on the news or programs that could push his imagination in the wrong direction. The quieter he is before bed, the less anxious he will be in the dark.
- Help him take a hot bath or talk about relaxing topics instead of things that can turn him on.
- If you have a kitten, spend time petting it with your baby so he can calm down.
- Try to keep your voice soft and speak less emphatically. Slow down the pace of activities to help your baby prepare for sleep. Start dimming the lights.
Step 3. Talk to your child about their fear
Make sure you really listen to him and understand what really scares him; it could be a general fear of the dark, or the fear that an intruder might enter, for example. The more you know what scares him, the easier you will be able to treat the problem. Also, the child will feel better after talking to you about their fear.
- Make sure he's not ashamed. When he is telling you about it, be clear that there is nothing to be ashamed of and that everyone is afraid.
- Help him face his fears with creativity. Let him name his fear and then think of different stories and methods by which he can conquer it. Help your baby fight a battle with his fear; a battle in which in the end he comes out victorious.
Step 4. Strengthen the safety and well-being of the child
Make sure he feels safe and comfortable not just before bed, but throughout the day. While, in practice, you can never be there all the time to protect your child, you can still make an effort to make them feel safe and comforted. Remind him how much you love him, that you are there for him and make him understand clearly that the house is safe from any danger. This can help remove the fear of the dark a little.
Leave items that make them feel safe in bed and in the bedroom. If your child wants their favorite blanket or night light, that's fine. Do not think that he has to be in total darkness and without a blanket to overcome his fears
Step 5. Show him that the bed is a safe place
The child should associate his bed with a place of well-being and safety and not a place that causes anxiety. Read him a book in bed and make sure he relates it to positive things as much as possible. The important thing is to try not to keep it in your bed for too long, so that the child feels as comfortable and safe as possible even in his own room. While it's natural for you to want to protect him, it's more important to give him the tools he needs to feel safe on his own in the long run.
Don't sleep with him. Even if you think it might be a good idea to let your child sleep in your bed to reassure him, this is only a temporary remedy. Instead, encourage him to sleep in his bed, because eventually he will have to get used to it
Step 6. Seek help if needed
Sometimes, you can do a lot more to help your child overcome a fear of the dark. If the child tends to wet the bed frequently, wakes up screaming from nightmares, or has greater anxieties and fears about other aspects of his everyday life, you may want to get help from a doctor to try to identify and treat the origin of the his fears and anxieties. Don't assume your child can get over them on his own and instead work to really give him the help he needs.
If you think this is a serious problem, know that the longer you wait, the harder it will be for your child to get over it
Part 4 of 4: Readers Suggested Remedies
Step 1. Try to go to bed early
Going to bed late could exacerbate your fears. You will likely feel more comfortable if you go to sleep while your parents are still awake. After all, you need to get enough sleep to be able to stay awake tomorrow, whether it's at school or at work.
Step 2. Try some clothing
Here are a couple of ideas:
- Get a t-shirt with fluorescent prints. While it may sound silly, this type of shirt comes on before bed and then gradually fades over time.
- You know the face masks you do in a spa? Try buying one and applying it to your face before falling asleep. It might sound annoying at first, but you get used to it. It will help you avoid looking around the room seeing mysterious shadows.
Step 3. Use humor
When you feel scared, try to think about funny things going on in your life or about something you have seen or read.
- If you are afraid, try to think of something funny that happened during the day or during the week.
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Use lots of night lights in your room. A small candle is certainly not enough to illuminate the room sufficiently, if you are really terrified of the dark. You might consider buying a colored lava lamp to keep on all night.
Cope with Your Fear of the Dark Step 2 -
If your family puts lights outside during Christmas time or lights around windows, leave the curtains open. Decor lights could brighten your room further.
Cope with Your Fear of the Dark Step 2 - Keep a flashlight close at hand so that it is easier to check the room if fear assails you.
Step 4. Use sounds
They can be a great way to get rid of your fear of the dark. For instance:
- Put on a music player or air conditioner. This way you won't be able to hear the disturbing noises that scare you so much.
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Listen to some music. If possible, have classical, soft, or any other kind of soothing music played throughout the night. If you use Windows Media Player, you can also add a relaxing animation associated with the music so that more light is projected into the room.
Cope with Your Fear of the Dark Step 3
Step 5. Play or watch some funny videos before falling asleep
Lots of teenagers are lying in bed using their phone at night. If you're afraid of the dark, watching funny videos on YouTube will make you smile, distracting you from the things that scare you.
Step 6. Talk about your fears with your parents or an older sibling
Venting out to other people makes you feel so much better and they may be able to give you some helpful advice to overcome them.
Step 7. Sleep in company
For instance:
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Get a brother to sleep in your room. Especially on weekends, it can be fun to share your room with a sibling. You can joke around and watch funny videos together. Do not be shy. Having someone to keep you company will make you feel better.
Cope with Your Fear of the Dark Step 6 -
Sleep with a pet. If you have a cat or dog, hearing them in bed next to you can be comfortable. Sleeping with the family pet will make you feel safer.
Cope with Your Fear of the Dark Step 7 - Sleep with tons of soft toys.
Advice
- Sleeping with a pet can reassure you and make you feel safe. It lets you know if he feels or senses anything, especially the negative things.
- If you are afraid, talk to a friend or family member just before bed or when you start feeling anxious. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone about your fear.
- Read. Read until you can no longer stay awake, at which point your brain is too tired to be afraid of the dark.
- If you are afraid, try to think of funny things that happen to you during the day or during the week.
- Turn on a white noise machine or air conditioner so you no longer hear the disturbing noises.
- You can sleep with tons of stuffed animals.
- Think about how other people might react in your situation. If you feel that the strategies others adopt to overcome the situation are better than yours, follow their example.
- Remember that anxiety is sometimes useful and necessary for survival. Fear may be the only thing keeping you out of harm's way.
- Keep a journal of your fears. If you wish, you can share it with your family so they can help and support you.
- If you hear a noise outside or are really that scared, find a friend to stay with you.
- You know the masks you wear when you go to the wellness center? Try to buy one and sleep with it, it will seem a little uncomfortable at first, but you will get used to it. It can help you and prevent your eyes from looking around the room and seeing shadows or whatever.
- Smile and talk to family members about your day before bed. Sometimes it is the events of the day that trigger the fear.
- When you realize that you are feeling fear think about funny things happening in your life or remember something you have seen or read, such as someone running and bumping into a glass door they have not seen, come back looking around and start walking again. again and then opens the door.
- Remember: the room is the same in the dark as with the light, so there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just your imagination!
- Listening to some music for a while, it helps you calm down and gives the mind something else to think about.
Warnings
- If you choose a lava lamp as a night light, remember that it often casts strange shadows on the walls.
- If you want some extra light, don't turn on every single light in the house; it is wasteful and expensive.
