Every day, for each of us, a new chapter begins. Do you feel your life has come to a standstill? Do you want to start over and change something? Do you have the impression of being like Bill Murray in the film Start Over, in which the protagonist relives the exact same day over and over again? Starting over is a scary challenge, but each of us deserves to live the life we want. Here are some techniques to help you rethink your life, start over and move on.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Reflections on Your Life
Step 1. Accept the past
You can't start over if you are still tied to your past. Whether it's a relationship, a job, a family, or another situation, you have to accept all of your past.
- Accepting does not necessarily mean forgiving or understanding. It only means that you take note of what happened to you in the past, you recognize it and you are ready to start from this awareness.
- Remember that pain and suffering are not the same. You can feel pain and feel bad if your life isn't going in the right direction, but you don't have to suffer. Suffering is a choice. Nothing lasts forever, including pain. So acknowledge this fact, treasure past experiences and start from there. Don't be fixated on wounds and failures ("I won't find another job", "I won't fall in love again" and so on). Leave behind the vicissitudes of the past and do not make a drama of it.
Step 2. Remember that everything happens for a very specific reason
This does not mean that you are powerless in the face of events and that you are at the mercy of fate. It means that you are the one who gives meaning and value to the events that happen to you. It depends on you whether from every event, every accident and every moment you live you will be able to emerge strengthened or weakened.
The lessons you will learn are not obvious: you must discover for yourself what life can teach you. For example, how do you react if in your job you are asked to give up on a project because you think too big or because your ideas are going in a different direction from that taken by your company? Instead of seeing such a situation as a failure, consider it a confirmation that you and your boss have different views and that maybe it's time to change the air and try to fulfill yourself elsewhere
Step 3. Take stock of your successes and failures
You can't "give up on life", so instead of giving up when things don't go as planned, ask yourself, "What worked in that situation or circumstance?"
- Put everything in writing. Take note of your successes - even the little ones. Before bed each night, write down the positive aspects of your day. The more you focus on the positive things, the more you attract them to you!
- Once you've done this, think about how you can make the most of the positives and the things that work. For example, if you think you can communicate very well with customers but that the location is not suitable for your business, choose a more popular place. Reflect on what works or has worked in your life and try to improve these aspects.
Step 4. Don't tell people you're starting over:
just do it. You don't need a clearance on your choices to change your life. There is no need to let people know or ask others what you should do; often, when we feel insecure, we consult others to get their approval on our projects or to prepare them for change. But your life belongs only to you: go ahead and people will follow you. Those who won't do it may not deserve to be first in your life.
Your next steps in life, dedicate only to yourself and no one else. Ignore what others are saying. Their objections will affect their life and not yours, because your decisions affect them as well. Remember that only you need to feel comfortable with your choices and decisions
Part 2 of 2: Looking Forward
Step 1. Find out what your life goals are
Thinking about the meaning you want to give to your life is the first big step towards change.
- What are you able to do? What do you like? What are your passions? What are your interests? Answering these questions is critical to understanding how to be happy and have a fulfilling life.
- Let's say you love yoga and have been taking yoga classes three times a week for five years. Maybe it's not just a hobby for you, but a real passion! Maybe you would like to become a teacher. Think about what truly satisfies you in life, the passion that makes the difference and make it the central focus of your new life.
- Life is only worth living if you live it fully. If your dream has always been to teach yoga, why not give it a try? You only have one life, so make the right choices. Don't wait for an excuse to start living life the way you've always wanted.
Step 2. Set goals and make the right decisions
Once you have identified your overall goals and the goals you want to achieve in life, determine in detail how you intend to achieve those goals, then make the necessary changes. Have you decided to end your romantic relationship? Do you want to change cities? Do you want to resume studying?
- Set personal goals for the short, medium, and long term. Write them down and post them in a place where you can read them every day (such as on the refrigerator door or bedroom mirror).
- Organize your life. You cannot change your life if you live in an insanely disorganized way. If you know exactly what changes you want to make and what goals you want to achieve, you can start planning the necessary changes.
Step 3. Turn your life around
Start a whole new business to discover something you didn't know about yourself and your potential.
- The best way to shake up an unsatisfying life is to do something completely different. Travel to places you've never visited. Learn a new language. Practice a new sport or exercise, such as kickboxing, gymnastics, or cycling.
- Even if you think you may not be able to do a new business, give yourself a try. Trying new things is a physical and mental challenge that transmits the fresh enthusiasm of those who glimpse the infinite possibilities of life.
- Sure, the unknown is scary, but it is also scary to keep doing the things you know in a disappointing and unsatisfying life. Starting over can make you feel insecure and nervous, but reflect on the fact that it can never be worse than that sense of disappointment and lack of fulfillment you feel in your current life.
Step 4. Your new motto must be "Seize the day"
Live every single moment fully knowing that every moment of your life is important. Focus on every single moment, because it is the reality you live in, and when that moment has passed, move on to the next. Are you still breathing? Yes. Then consider that you have successfully lived that moment. By doing so, step by step, moment by moment, you will regain possession of your life.
Live for the day. It may seem like a cliché, but there is nothing more true. Act today, don't wait for tomorrow or next week. Only in this way is it possible to start over. Planning a whole year can be difficult, but planning the future day by day is within your reach
Step 5. Outdo yourself
You don't know everything; make mistakes. Knowing how to change the oil, cook an imaginative French dinner or understand the background of macroeconomics doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you more knowledgeable about something. Is it knowledge you want to have or do you just want to prove something to others? Ask yourself what is really important to you. Do those activities make you happy? If the answer is no, stop them! You cannot and must not do or know everything.
If you really want to learn how to do something, get involved! But if you're just doing it to show others that you can do it or that you're a normal person, cut it out! Your life belongs only to you. You don't have to prove anything to anyone
Step 6. Trust others and ask for help
The moment you realize that you don't need to know everything, check the things you do that are not within your skills and abilities or that you simply don't care about doing. Delegate someone else to do them for you. Pay someone to change your oil or wash your windows. Decide how to use your time and what things you can afford to do.
Ask for help when you need it, and if you're not sure how to do something, trust someone who has more experience in that field than you. Needing, asking for help, delegating someone does not make you weaker, but more prudent and resourceful. Each of us has different abilities and no man is an island
Step 7. Prepare for moments of weakness
Sometimes you will have the feeling that your plan is not working and that you want to go back to life as before. Also foresee the opportunity to go through these moments.
- This also means that you need to delete the numbers of people you call or text when you feel down and need approval, such as an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It means to stop buying junk food if you know you are eating all the time due to stress.
- Having moments of weakness is normal. We all move at an uncertain and wavering pace between what is best for our future and what is easier to achieve here and now. Challenge your "now" and replace it with a long-term view of your life.
Step 8. Celebrate your progress
Remember to highlight and value any progress you make in reaching your new goals. Some of your goals can be long-term, and along the way you can lose sight of the direction you are heading. Remember, then, that every long journey is made up of many shorter stages, so celebrate your successes at the end of each stage. Enjoy every single step or milestone in your new life, whether it's breaking up with a negative person, sending your resume, or signing up for a class of something you've never tried before. All these little things help create and fulfill that new life that you had imagined for yourself.
Step 9. Never stop
Life is constantly changing and so should you be. Stopping to enjoy a pleasant feeling and fully appreciate every moment is one thing, but stopping to get stuck is another. Do you want your life to be static and stagnant again? There are always new encounters, new opportunities and new experiences waiting for you: start looking!
