Once J. K. Rowling said "Bottom line became a solid foundation for rebuilding my life," and that's a perfectly fitting phrase. Sometimes you have to sink completely to regain lost energy and return to the fore. The good news? You ended up on the right page to do it. Keep reading.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: First Reactions
Step 1. Cry yourself for some time
It's right. And it's the first step to start over. You have to feel this moment fully. Keeping it all inside will ultimately only blow you away at the least appropriate times. But there's more: admitting the facts could give you the energy to do something about it. Recognizing the situation, and hating it, is the only way to start intervening and changing it. So, just complain, cry. You are dissatisfied. Only in this way can you take the first step to get better.
Talk about it. People who go on a diet are often advised to look for an adventure companion, or, at least, inform everyone of their path. This guarantees support and encourages to be responsible. The same principle applies in this case. Just find one person: you will have at least one friend to lean on and who will help you get up when you fall. We all need this support
Step 2. Take a break
The truth is, right now you need to unplug. Sometimes life has to be put on pause. For now, grab a chocolate bar and stop for a moment. Start recharging your batteries for the great mission that awaits you: to make life understand who is in charge.
If you work, you may need to take a break from everyday tasks as well. It doesn't have to be lasting, you certainly don't have to get fired. A couple of days is enough to make a general assessment of your life and focus. Right now, put yourself first
Step 3. Try to have steady income
All human beings have a well-defined hierarchy of needs. For most of us, one of them is economic independence. To bring food to the table, you need to have money in your wallet. You don't need a lot of them, but you need stable income to become autonomous and begin to rise from the bottom.
So, in short, start looking for work if you are unemployed. Looking for a job in itself is a real occupation, and it could take up to 40 hours a week. In today's economy, it's not necessarily easy, but sooner or later you will succeed. Search everywhere, even under stones, and don't turn down any opportunities
Step 4. Return to the school desks.
If you haven't finished high school, this is especially important. To find a job, you first need a diploma. Just do a Google search and pick up the phone to get in touch with the nearest school. Choose the program that's right for you based on your budget and time needs. Asking costs nothing.
If you enrolled in college but didn't graduate, you might want to go back. Not only will you be more likely to find a job, you will also feel at peace with yourself. You will feel like you have arrived. After all, hitting rock bottom is often just a state of mind. There are many people who, based on certain canons of society, have hit rock bottom, while they feel great. Finishing your studies completely changes your mental attitude
Step 5. Break bad habits
If you smoke, drink alcohol, or regularly have other addictive behaviors, you need to break the habit right away. If you don't, you won't have any personal progress. You can't leave bad habits intact if you want to move on. You have to get rid of it.
Imagine the person you want to become. Does it strongly depend on someone or something? To complete this project and change, why settle for little when you have much higher ideals in mind? You owe the improvement to yourself. If you can't get rid of a habit, no good habit can ever replace it
Step 6. Start thinking proactively
If you believe that the time has come to completely change your life and start over, you need to make numerous changes. And you have to start thinking, acting and dressing like a new person, surrounding yourself with new people. However, to do so, you need to start thinking positively and with conviction. Put aside negative expressions like "I can't", "And what if …?" and maybe". There is no room for pessimism. If you have decided to start over, you will succeed.
He is sure that training the brain to think differently can completely alleviate the situation. On the other hand, we are what we think. While it's impossible to tell someone how to specifically implement the change, the purpose of this article is to make the process much easier for you. Thinking positively and confidently will make these steps feasible
Step 7. Determine who exactly you want to be
What will you like? How will you dress? What will your relationships be like? Where you will live? What car will you drive? Take a good 15 minutes, close your eyes and imagine in the smallest detail the life you want, and how it makes you feel. Take clear mental shots of this perfect life. You must believe without a shadow of a doubt that the person imagined will be you.
You need a conclusion in order to know how and where to start the journey. Where do you want to end the old life? What goals would you like to achieve? Write them down. Everyone needs to work on something because no one is perfect. Now, this is your chance to improve yourself. This will be your goal
Part 2 of 4: Taking Care of Your Body
Step 1. Take a shower
It sounds like a silly suggestion, yet, to clear your mind, you must first cleanse the body. To have a fresh start, you need to feel fresh. Basking in the dirt that has accumulated during the day will only remind you of the bad situation you are in.
As we discussed earlier, hitting rock bottom is mostly a state of mind, so it can come and go with ease. Showers (and other seemingly useless actions) can therefore go a long way in helping you relax, relieve stress, and remind your mind that it's time to start over. You will not just wash, you will prepare yourself for regeneration
Step 2. Start exercising.
This passage is also apparently silly. Which person who has hit rock bottom has the desire (or perhaps the means) to practice? The fact is that you cannot think linearly. In fact, you have to think outside the box. Is the successful person exercising or does the person exercising be successful? Did the chicken or the egg come first?
The first thing to think about when you feel down is your body. If you are down, stay in bed all day, from sunrise to sunset. It is a vicious circle that makes things worse and strengthens itself. The body begins to drag and the mind follows suit. When you exercise, the mind begins to listen to the body, not the other way around. You feel better, and both your physical appearance and your way of thinking are benefited. It allows you to be more combative and face the difficulties of life
Step 3. Try to eat healthily
When you feel bad, you end up spending hours and hours in front of the television eating junk food, drinking canned wine, gorging on tubs of ice cream. From there, one begins to feel a great contempt for oneself. After a feast, it feels terrible, and it becomes a vicious circle. At that point, the only thing you can do is lie down on the sofa and pray for the impending indigestion to pass right away. Not very productive, isn't it?
Food should make you feel energized, not lethargic, drowning in remorse. After a healthy meal, both body and mind feel better. Have you noticed? Climbing up from the brink means feeling good enough (not being good enough) to do something about it. Eating healthy is an important mental trick to give your brain back its energy and make it regain its lost enthusiasm
Step 4. Make an outward change
For the record, this passage does not support materialism or vanity at all. That said, looking good can go a long way in making you feel good on the inside as well. So, after you've worked out and showered, get dressed up and get out. You've earned it.
Knowing that you look nice can change your perspective on anything, and also how you are treated by others (sad, but true). You will find an innate source of self-esteem that can ultimately change your behavior (for the better). The world will probably become a little kinder to you, and it will be easier for you to be less hard on yourself
Part 3 of 4: Taking Care of Your Mind
Step 1. Reject negativity
We are saying to you! You know how it works. Instead of cultivating useful and rational thoughts, you end up thinking things like I am a failure. I'll never get anything, whatever I do, so why keep insisting?. Breaking news: these are just thoughts, not facts. They are emotions, and emotions change.
When you find yourself having negative thoughts, force yourself to stop immediately before the situation gets worse, or do something to improve them. "I am a failure" becomes "Today was a bad day and there are things that I have not succeeded. Tomorrow is another day". It's not all black or white. Nothing is absolute. When they say "Sooner or later everything passes", it is precisely these situations that they refer to
Step 2. Find old hobbies or discover new ones
Between naps and DVDs of old TV series, it's easy to lose sight of what you were starting out. To be able to recover yourself and get rid of the routine, you have to try things that you may not want to do, and finding the old life (the one you had before hitting bottom) is one of them. If you used to play, you have to do it again. If you loved cooking, go back to the stove. Maybe it's the last thing you want to do, but rediscovering the activities that once made you happy might just be the right stimulus for the change you need.
In addition to finding old habits (the good ones), you can still discover something new. Being active (both physically and mentally) will force you to get out of this dull and lethargic path that fits you too tight. Are there any opportunities at school or in the office? Is a friend trying to do an interesting project? How could you spend your free time productively? In other words, what would distract you?
Step 3. Make a daily to-do list
That cruel monster called Lethargy strikes every day. Mornings go by aimlessly, and the only reason to get out of bed is to go to the bathroom. This is where the to-do list comes in handy. List everything you want to accomplish in the course of a day. You don't have to change the world, just get out of bed and be productive.
It all depends on the process you are going through and your situation. You can finish a project, go for a five-kilometer run, or talk to a stranger. Think about what you would like to give concrete form to in the near future. What are the little things you could do on a daily basis to cross the finish line?
Step 4. Help others
Another trick to get out of your little world and get involved with those of others (which can be much less scary and threatening than you think) is to help others. Not only will you be good for another person, seeing someone happy will benefit you too. It will be instant gratification.
Look for small opportunities as well as bigger ones. Offering to take an elderly neighbor's dog out, help a pregnant woman with shopping bags, help out a relative - all these good deeds add up. You will realize that life has meaning, you will find new friends and you will improve the world in your little one. In short, do you realize that it is enough to help someone to get three advantages?
Step 5. Surround yourself with positive influences
If you feel down, the people around you probably have some responsibility, and that's partly their fault. You may tend to think that you are the problem, but the people around you can suck your potential. Is it possible that your relationships are making the situation worse? You just have to hesitate to answer such a question to begin to understand that perhaps it is appropriate to direct your efforts elsewhere.
Sometimes it is necessary to end a toxic friendship. We grow as individuals and our friends do not adapt to the new identities we have developed. This is absolutely normal. If one of your friends (or your sweetheart) doesn't make you happy, maybe it's time to move on
Step 6. Relocate
Obviously, this is easier said than done, but if the situation you are in is caused by where you live (there are no job opportunities, you have no friends), you may want to consider a relocation, if economically feasible. You don't even have to go too far, but a change of scenery can be really good for you. Invigorating the senses is the best way there is to regenerate.
With a relocation, you will soon forget the old life completely. And then what would there be to regret? If you are left with nothing but bad memories of the current situation, consider cutting any thread that still binds you to the past. If, on the other hand, you have people who support you in the place where you live now, will their support remain intact with a transfer? Take a moment and ask yourself if this process (however difficult) is worth it. It's like starting to live in a whole new world
Part 4 of 4: Finding a Balance and a Routine
Step 1. Be patient with yourself
Don't fool yourself: it is impossible to embark on a new life overnight. It could take years. Probably, you will make gradual but steady progress that you will not even notice. It's like losing 10 grams per day. You won't be able to see results for a long time, but one day the clothes that fit tightly now will be way too loose.
By the time you realize it, you will probably be great and happy. The times when you hit rock bottom will seem like a distant memory. One day you will get up and you will realize that you have come a long way. Take your time. Will arrive. It always happens. It's always darker before dawn, remember?
Step 2. Focus on transition periods
Remember what the driving school manual told you: "slow down before road bumps". There will be times when you think you can't do it, you will feel on the verge of falling back into the abyss, indeed, worsening the situation (as if another one were to open below the cliff). It is in these moments that it is absolutely mandatory to concentrate, be optimistic and know that it is normal to have difficulties.
Right now, you are creating a very important balance between the old and the new life, and this can be quite daunting. Nobody expects him to do this with his hands tied and his eyes closed. In fact, it is in these moments that you can count on the people who support you, that is why they are there. Transition periods are confusing, but be aware that they are only temporary. Focus and you will overcome them
Step 3. Cultivate a passion
You are coming up from the chasm, and this is wonderful. Now, it's time to find something new. Something satisfying. Something that motivates you. Something that keeps the demons in check. What's the very first thing that comes to your mind? Any passion will do, as long as it inspires you. It will take time and creativity, it will give you a goal. And it can only be beautiful.
Being really good at something is very satisfying. But being great at an activity that you really enjoy is even better. Cultivating a passion, whatever it is, can do great things for self-esteem. You will find a stability and balance so strong that the abyss that sucked you in, you will no longer even know where it is. It will be deleted
Step 4. Try to have a satisfying routine
Now that you have all these fresh and exciting new ideas, you need to find stability and make them a part of your everyday world. It may take weeks, but balancing work, social life, passions and free time will eventually be possible. There's no reason it can't work.
The good news is that the routine will partly take shape by itself. Assuming you can manage your priorities effectively (take care of your body and mind, as stated earlier), everything will be fine
Advice
- Remember that you are starting a new life. Act like a new person.
- Know your reasons. When planning a new life, you need to know exactly why you want to achieve a goal. It is important, because it will keep motivation high.
- Look for a support group (online or in real life). Undoubtedly, many other people have found themselves in a situation similar to yours. You may not know anyone, but there are many people.
- You can do it! You can do whatever you put your mind to and believe in, especially in such a situation.
