Being an "open person" can mean many different things, all of which are positive. It is an expression that does not have a precise definition, but which generally includes friendliness, availability, honesty, open-mindedness, tolerance and genuineness. Open people tend to be happier, more charismatic, nice and successful in life than introverted ones. While some are naturally more outgoing, others can learn to open up with a little practice and attention.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Express yourself
Step 1. Be honest
Some people quit giving the wrong impression. They are used to pretend and tell others what they would like to hear. This attitude completely alienates them from the surrounding world, since no one knows what they really are. To be more open, try to be honest about yourself and what you think.
- Say what you think, but don't offend. Bad behavior can also make you appear less open. For example, if you don't like a band, you might say, "It's not my thing" instead of "It's horrible."
- Remember that sometimes it is good to be tactful, especially when interacting with people you are in close contact with but not of your own choosing, such as family members and colleagues. Answer vaguely if a topic is controversial and you find yourself with people who might find it offensive.
Step 2. Express what you think
Don't be afraid to show yourself for who you are. Being an open person means keeping a channel of communication open with the people you love. If there is something that crosses your mind, talk about it with a friend or loved one.
- When something is bothering you, make it clear. Sometimes, you will be tempted to "go with the flow," but having your voice heard is often the only way to improve the situation.
- Avoid repressing what you are feeling, as it can be dangerous to your emotional health and the relationships you are trying to preserve. Communicate sincerely what you feel and express it with facial expressions. Usually, those who are expressive are considered more likeable and trustworthy.
Step 3. Don't build a wall around important aspects of your life
It is important to be yourself, and to do so, people need to know you. Don't be too reserved about your experiences, tastes, and what you hate. Don't hide who you are for no good reason.
- Many times, introverted people have a hard time opening up. To do this, you need to talk about yourself. However, it is not always easy to confide in embarrassing or painful aspects of one's life, but this can also strengthen interpersonal relationships.
- On the other hand, some are so closed that they have a hard time getting into personal details that many others share freely. Don't be afraid to mention your favorite book or what you do for a living. If people start judging you, do you really care what they think?
- This is not to say that you have to be an open book at all times. Choose who you want to be familiar with, especially if your life and safety are at stake.
Step 4. Show your vulnerability
In order for you to become an open person by remaining yourself, you need to be able to let go and show your vulnerable side. This means being able to reveal your fears, your desires and the things you believe in both to yourself and to others, despite the fear of being rejected or judged. While it may be terrifying at first, you will find that it will eventually help you form deeper bonds with other people, making you feel freer to be yourself.
For example, being vulnerable could mean sharing a bad experience with a friend in the past, or telling your partner that you would like them to say "I love you" more often
Step 5. Begin to open up to others more often
Confidences create a climate of trust because, in a certain sense, they expose your frailties. Therefore, it is not very easy to open up, especially for those who have been injured in the past. If you run into any difficulties, don't rush to do it completely at first.
- Begin to open up about the things that few would judge you for. If you don't like a movie you just watched, say it. If a friend asks you what kind of music you like, feel free to reveal your tastes.
- Once you learn how to express yourself on the most mundane topics, start engaging in more personal conversations. For example, you could talk about your spirituality, your political views, your philosophy of life, and what you think of others. In these cases, some people also share their health problems, their orientation and their sexual identity. It is common for many to confide in these aspects with friends and family.
- You can also choose to talk about painful experiences experienced during more intimate and serious relationships. These kinds of confidences can help you overcome past trauma.
Step 6. Know who you can trust
On the other hand, the attitude described above is the risk of being too open. Lack of confidentiality can be counterproductive or alienate people. To figure out if it is appropriate to have a confidence, rely on your instincts, but also consider other things.
- Always try to get to know people before giving out information that you are not sure you will disclose. Spending some time with them is the best way to tell if they are trustworthy or not.
- Stay on the same level. To understand if the level of intimacy established with a person is the same for both of you, pay attention to the information he shares with you and compare it with yours. Of course, if you stay on the same level all the time, you will never get close. Just be sure that what you are confiding in is only slightly more personal than what the other person has told you.
- Generally, it's best to avoid unbuttoning too much in the workplace. This is especially true if you lead a group of people. Some information can make employees feel uncomfortable and lead them to jump to conclusions. If you talk about certain things, like your religious faith or your political views, they may think you are discriminating against them. All of this risks damaging productivity and even exposing the company to a complaint.
Part 2 of 3: Relating to Others
Step 1. Learn to be more open minded
To open up, you have to accept new ideas and experiences. This attitude will help you interact with a wider range of people.
- Get out of your comfort zone and try new things, even when you think you don't like them.
- Sometimes tastes change, literally and metaphorically. Give it another try after a few years. If you think you hate Brussels sprouts, but haven't eaten them since you were five, don't hesitate to try them if your colleague brings them to the office for lunch.
- Don't make hasty judgments. Make an effort to look at everything with a fair and impartial eye before expressing a rejection. You never know if your assumptions may be based on poor awareness.
- Being open-minded doesn't mean accepting everything uncritically. Feel free to trust your judgment if something doesn't seem right to you even after you've informed yourself.
Step 2. Stop making judgments about others
In a sense, this suggestion goes hand in hand with an invitation to develop a more open mind. Always remember that each person has their own experiences, beliefs and preferences which can often be different from yours. You cannot understand a person's life based on their appearance or a single conversation.
- Always behave with respect towards others, no matter who they are. Try to put yourself in their shoes and treat them as you would like to be treated.
- You never know what relationships and opportunities you might be missing out on judging a person at the wrong time.
- Remember that if you judge others impulsively, people will also be inclined to do the same to you.
Step 3. Ask questions
Interact with others by asking questions and seriously listening to their answers. People used to asking questions during a conversation appear to be more friendly and helpful than those who don't ask. Ask questions that encourage your interlocutor to open up.
- Asking is the best way to learn new things.
- If you ask about personal matters, people tend to do the same with their interlocutor, giving them a chance to open up.
- Questions can also help you broaden your views and make fewer judgments about others. The more questions you ask, the more you'll get to know a person. The more you know her, the less likely you are to judge her.
- If someone doesn't answer your question directly, tell them something about you as if they asked you something. If you are open, you will encourage others to open up too.
Part 3 of 3: Understanding Yourself
Step 1. Think about why you might be considered closed
Many people behave in an apparently disinterested or detached way without even realizing it. Try to figure out if there is something about what you do - or don't do - that can make you seem closed, and try to do the opposite to give the impression that you are more open.
- Are you shy and silent? Unfortunately, shyness is often misinterpreted and mistaken for arrogance. Try to reverse this feeling by talking to people more often.
- How is your body language? Many people seem closed without wanting to. If you cross your arms, play with your fingers, lean back, avoid eye contact, or rarely smile, you will seem less accessible to others.
Step 2. Consider consulting a professional
Sometimes people do not open up because in the past they have had negative experiences or suffered from chemical decompensation or neurological disorders. While self-help techniques can work for some problems, others require professional help.
- Depending on the problem, you could consult a psychoanalyst, a psychologist, your doctor, a psychiatrist or even combine their interventions.
- If you struggle to open up because you are afraid of being around people, you may be suffering from social anxiety.
- Certain mental illnesses, some neurodevelopmental disorders, and certain neuromuscular diseases can affect the ability to express themselves through non-verbal communication, and prevent those affected from appearing open-minded.
Step 3. Remember that open people can be of many types
You don't have to change the more or less positive aspects of your character just to become more open. If you are comfortable with yourself and your interpersonal relationships are fulfilling, then you may already be an open person in your own way. There is nothing wrong with you.
- If you are introverted, don't try to correct it. Since more outgoing people are often preferred, you may be tempted to change your personality, at the risk of harming yourself and becoming unhappy over time. Rather, find the right balance when interacting with people so you don't lose your smile, and keep going.
- If you suffer from autism, it is very likely that you will encounter some problems in non-verbal communication with neurotypical people. Therefore, you should learn to maintain eye contact and smile more often to be able to relate more easily to school and work. Keep in mind that most people can't help but "communicate" in this way, even though it may feel a little more natural to them. Also, if you're having trouble, don't blame yourself too much. You just have to do your best.
Advice
- For some people it may be natural to appear more expansive, but it's not the same for everyone. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you have a neurological disorder that complicates non-verbal communication with body language. Learn as far as you can and do your best.
- If you want to improve various aspects of your personality, don't try to change them all overnight. If you quickly change your way of being, those who know you will notice and may consider you a "false" person. You cannot force your personal growth. Gradually engage over time until you come to open up more.
