Perfection is the enemy of good. -Voltaire
The desire to excel is good but, when it turns into perfectionism, it can cause a lot of problems and waste a lot of time. Here's how to find a balance.
Steps
Step 1. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings
No one is perfect and we all have strengths and weaknesses. However, that doesn't mean we can't grow. You can always learn something new or try to improve; sometimes, however, all you have to do is settle for what you already know. Don't waste time worrying about what you can't (yet) do.
Step 2. Focus on what is needed
Is your true purpose to be perfect or is it to get what you are doing? What really matters? Perfectionism, together with uncertainty, pushes you to slow down.
Step 3. Define a goal
Knowing what you want to achieve not only helps you go in the right direction, it also lets you know when you're done.
Step 4. Separate the results from the judgment on your work
Try to achieve satisfactory results and do not allow your productivity to be influenced by the judgments of others. Give your best instead of striving for perfection at all costs. Study to learn instead of just focusing on grades. Eat healthy and exercise to stay healthy, not just to lose weight. Perfectionism can be self-destructive, since the perfectionist cares too much about how others perceive his imperfections.
Step 5. Learn from the criticisms of those who know more than you
Those who evaluate you will have to help you improve, so don't just be looking for approval. Ask for different opinions.
Step 6. Try doing something, even if you're not sure
You may be better than you think or the task may be easier than you imagine. If your first attempt is unsuccessful, you may still find out what to use, who to turn to for improvement and which mistakes to avoid. In most cases, you will realize that you have imagined greater barriers than they actually are.
Step 7. Determine a time limit
- Some activities, such as cleaning the house, never quite finish. No matter how much you scrubbed the floors today, they'll be dirty again tomorrow. Instead of cleaning for hours and hours, set a stopwatch for a reasonable amount of time, to be dedicated only to household chores. The house will keep itself clean and you will work faster, without being obsessed with details. Do it regularly and introduce it into your routine; thus, the place where you live will always be in good condition.
- For longer and more detailed projects, set a deadline to proceed with the work and not get stuck on the details. Break the project into small parts.
Step 8. Experiment to learn:
while rehearsing, give yourself a chance to make mistakes. Practice. Test your skills before using them in a real context. Write drafts. During this process, put your inner critic aside and feel free to try without worrying about mistakes.
Step 9. Try new things
Whether you invent something or learn a new language, you will always have false beginnings. In fact, the more you try a new and unusual activity, the more mistakes you will make. Over time, however, you will learn.
Step 10. Recognize the fact that for many activities, especially the most creative ones, there are no “right” or “wrong” answers
Everything is subjective. If you write, you can't please all your readers. If you paint, you can't please everyone who goes to your exhibition. While having a target audience can help you find the right direction, you should also give free rein to your personality and style.
Step 11. Recognize the beauty and benefits of imperfection
The dissonant harmonies create tension and dramatic moments. The leaves left on the ground protect the roots of the plants and decompose to feed the soil.
Step 12. Think back on your mistakes
Failure is relative. Those cookies that seem a little overcooked to you, other people will find irresistible. As a builder, you probably take into consideration things that others don't even know. Those who benefit from your work only think about the results and not about the process. Also, always remember that mistakes will allow you not to make mistakes next time. And you don't learn without mistakes.
Step 13. Failure is an excellent opportunity to discover yourself and inspire others to feel better in their shoes
Often, we live thinking “I'm not capable enough”. However, everyone has their own calling. What matters is to listen to the deepest desires.
Step 14. Think about your successes
In the past, surely you have achieved a goal in an "imperfect" way. You've probably felt uncertain along the way to success. And it was your reservations and worries that kept you out of trouble. However, doubts cannot stop you. Instead of doing a few things perfectly, aspire to do a lot of them successfully.
Advice
- Think about what you notice in others. Do you remember what your friend was wearing on Monday? Have you ever seen other people make that mistake that worries you so much? And, if you have witnessed something like this, have you pointed it out in front of the other person or have you changed your mind about their abilities? Generally, we don't apply to others the same unrealistic standards on which we base our lives and we are much more tolerant of those around us. Other people, on the other hand, also apply their own unattainable ideal of perfection to others.
- If you excel at something, teach it to others. Be patient and don't expect everyone to be as good as you are from the start.
- Be flexible. Knowing how to cope with unexpected developments may be more important than following a predefined plan perfectly.
- Give yourself some free time and relax, especially if you never do.
- Be a little lazy. No, you don't have to quit your job and laze full time. Instead, take care of the tasks you can easily accomplish and look for easier ways to do what's left. The "lazy method" can be the most efficient!
- Be aware of the thoughts and beliefs that drive you to want to achieve perfection at all costs. Solving the underlying problem will allow you to change and relax.
- Never compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own rhythms, experiences and expectations. You are unique. You will never be exactly like someone else.
- Perfectionism can turn into neurosis. Not only will you lose your mind, you will also lose the support of those who love you. We all have flaws, so accept that no one is perfect, not even you.
Warnings
- Excellence can attract competition, envy and resentment. Do you remember the reactions generated by the "master's coconut"? If you are good at something, don't brag about it. But, at the same time, don't rest on your laurels.
-
Extreme perfectionism can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder. How do you know if this is your case?
- 1) The need for perfection is somehow related to the need to prevent negative events (example: “If I align my books by color and never move them, everything will be fine”).
- 2) Leaving things "imperfect" causes a very serious anxiety (example: "If I do not lift the clothes left on the floor before going to bed, I will not be able to sleep").
- 3) The repetitive nature of perfectionism creates delays and interruptions in the development of your daily life (example: going back to check that you have turned off the gas). Do you recognize yourself in this description? You should go to a doctor.
