Weight gain is a normal process that occurs in the human body. In fact, scientific data shows that most people lose weight spontaneously on weekdays and get fat on the weekend. However, sometimes it's more than just a little weight fluctuation, because it significantly affects how you see and feel yourself. There is concern about how the partner might judge weight gain or the fear that the person you are dating will not find you attractive. If a few extra pounds is making you insecure, you need to learn not to talk negatively and build a healthier body image to feel substantially comfortable with yourself.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Silencing the Negative Voice
Step 1. Recognize the extent to which negative internal dialogue affects you
All that you repeat to yourself throughout the day can greatly affect your mood. If weight gain makes you insecure, it's not caused by someone's words, but by what you say to yourself about your figure.
Sometimes talking to yourself has practical implications, like "I have to get my work done early", while other times it can be humiliating and self-destructive, like "I'm too fat. I should spend all day in the gym."
Step 2. Listen to what you say to yourself
Once you realize that sometimes the inner voice can promote insecurities related to physical appearance, you will need to pay more attention to what you think. There is a risk that the negative sides of the inner dialogue are strengthened, shaping your reality. The only way to stop it is to be aware of it.
- Try to get in touch with your thoughts for a few minutes a day, especially those that affect your body. You could do this when you get dressed in front of the mirror or when you prepare your own food.
- What kind of thoughts run through your mind? Do they cheer you up and increase your optimism or make you feel worse?
Step 3. Question this way of thinking
To improve the way you talk to yourself, you need to demolish unnecessary or unreal beliefs. If you think, "I should spend all day in the gym," start dismantling this thinking in the following ways:
- Examining reality: What evidence do I have for or against such thinking? As this statement is very drastic, it is difficult to find evidence to support the idea that you should train all day. Conversely, you may find that exercising that is too long and intense is likely to cause injury or tire you, further hampering weight loss. Overdoing it won't help you lose weight.
- Directing the Mind Toward a Goal: Will Thinking This Way Solve My Problem? No, by repeating to yourself what you should do, you will only punish yourself instead of finding a solution. A better way to solve the problem is to say, "I'm going to try to go to the gym today."
Step 4. Develop healthier thinking
Instead of fueling your self-criticism, choose to be more positive and constructive.
For example, instead of repeating to yourself: "I'm fat. I should spend all day in the gym", try writing on a post-it to stick on the mirror (in your bag or in your car) a few sentences that encourage you to believe in yourself. It could be: "You are strong, beautiful, thoughtful." By reading them throughout the day, you will be predisposed to externalize these qualities instead of expressing insecurity
Part 2 of 3: Being Positive About the Body
Step 1. Make a record of your self-esteem
Think of it as a collection of personal qualities that can fuel your self-confidence. Fight your insecurities by reflecting and highlighting all your best sides that other people point out to you too.
- These characteristics can relate to your physical appearance - the beauty of your eyes or the taste with which you choose clothes - or other personal characteristics - the ability to listen to others or to help when someone needs a hand.
- Supplement what you think with advice from friends. What qualities do they admire in you?
- Read your archive regularly to get rid of your insecurities.
Step 2. Surround yourself with inspiring people
Go out of your way to invest time and energy in relationships that have a positive influence on you. Whether it's one or two close friends or a large group of people who offer their support, try to hang out and keep in telephone contact with people who allow you to be comfortable with yourself.
Step 3. Question the media
The way in which society perceives and transmits the canons of body beauty varies from generation to generation. A few decades ago, TV and movies featured curvy, medium-sized women, such as Marilyn Monroe. Many actresses and supermodels these days are incredibly tall and slender. It is not possible to change your body size, but you can decide not to be influenced by what the media dictate in terms of external beauty.
Avoid making comparisons with actresses and supermodels that appear in magazines or on television. Stop imposing the unrealistic canons set by these images, often edited with programs like Photoshop. Rather, surround yourself with people who feel comfortable with themselves, regardless of how much they weigh and how physically they are. Use them as reference points
Step 4. Make friends with your body
The body is not an enemy. It takes you to school or work. It allows you to hug your mother or run and play with your dog. Try to treat him better.
By treating him better, you can begin to eliminate the negative things you think about him. To become friends with him, eat balanced, stay active, and engage in activities that allow you to pamper yourself physically, such as having massages or regenerating naps
Step 5. Neutralize attacks on your sexual self-esteem
Many aspects can affect your libido, but not feeling fit due to a few extra pounds can inhibit you from having sex. According to some research, by gaining weight and losing weight, there is the risk of upsetting the hormonal balance and ruining the sexual desire.
- You can fuel your sexual desire by becoming familiar with your naked body. Before or after the shower, spend some time alone walking around the house undressed. Look at yourself entirely in the mirror, instead of just focusing on your thighs or stomach. If you get into this habit, you will silence the negative voice that demoralizes you when you look at yourself naked.
- If you've put on a few pounds, another way to increase your sexual self-esteem is to physically appreciate yourself. Caress yourself with pleasure all over your body, like your partner would. This little encouragement exercise will put you in the right frame of mind and improve your self-esteem.
Part 3 of 3: Coping with Weight Gain
Step 1. Think about what made you gain weight
How you cope with weight gain depends on what favored it. It is necessary to think carefully about the causes before deciding how to act.
- If you have gained weight due to a medical condition, consider seeing your doctor or asking him to change your medication.
- If you have gained weight from an eating disorder, congratulations! It takes a lot of courage to realize that your weight increases when every part of you wants to keep this process at bay. Remember it's an important step to get back to a perfectly healthy weight when you're healing, so keep it up!
- If you have gained weight after losing a lot of kilos, consider that often after a weight loss cure, when you resume your normal eating habits, there is a risk of regaining the lost weight. So, to get more satisfying results, work out a non-restrictive diet regime that takes into account your dietary and sports needs.
Step 2. Decide if you want to lose weight
After analyzing the causes, you may choose to lose the pounds you have gained. If you choose to do this, keep in mind that healthy weight loss takes time. To lose weight without putting it back on, you need to adopt a more balanced lifestyle; this is not a quick fix.
Consult your doctor or dietician to establish a weight loss treatment that takes into account your clinical history, your lifestyle and your goals
Step 3. Consider the genetic factors
For 25-70% the body structure is predetermined by the genes. If you have been thin for most of your life and have recently gained a few pounds, chances are your body is following the same pattern as your parents or grandparents. You must understand that not all physical constitutions are designed to be very slim. Focus more on your health rather than shapes and you will feel more confident in your physical appearance.
Step 4. Buy clothes that fit your figure
People can gain weight and choose to hide in over-sized clothing. If you make this choice, you actually risk feeling even more insecure. Rather, buy clothes in your size, suitable for your constitution. Also, consider buying clothes that highlight the best spots on your body.
