Sex is supposed to be a pleasant experience, but it becomes difficult and unbearable if it hurts. The pain that accompanies sexual intercourse can result from physical, hormonal, emotional or psychological problems. In such cases, do not hesitate to face them and consult your doctor. If stress or emotions are causing you tension, try to relax with your partner and communicate your wishes. Extend the time of foreplay and also try different positions. Also, don't forget that you can always stop and try again.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Contact the Doctor
Step 1. See a doctor
Go to your doctor's office or make an appointment with your gynecologist. List a series of points to bring to your attention. Be prepared to explain the pain you experienced during intercourse. Ask him what possible treatments are. Depending on the diagnosis, he or she may also order some tests or blood tests.
- For example, endometriosis is a painful disease that can affect a woman's sex life and must therefore be diagnosed by a gynecologist. If left untreated, it can cause pain during intercourse.
- Other medical causes contributing to pain include genital dermatitis, vaginismus or vaginal spasms, pelvic inflammatory disease, ovarian cysts, or scars from surgery.
Step 2. Describe the nature of the pain
Each type of pain can indicate different health problems. Tell your doctor when it occurs during intercourse and what its nature is. Here are some questions you could answer:
- Do you feel bad during penetration or just when your partner pushes?
- Does the pain continue after intercourse?
- Is it throbbing, sharp or burning?
- Did it arise recently or did it go back a long time ago?
Step 3. Address any hormonal imbalances
If you suffer from a deficiency of testosterone, estrogen, or any other hormone, the effects can affect the pleasure or pain during sexual intercourse. Talk to your doctor about possible treatment options to correct any hormonal dysfunction. He may suggest a cream, vaginal ring, oral medications, or hormone replacement therapy with patches.
- Some of these treatments can be effective: nearly 75% of patients say that pain during intercourse decreases.
- Menopause, childbirth, breastfeeding and polycystic ovary syndrome can affect the balance of the entire hormonal system, causing pain during sexual intercourse.
Step 4. Cure any kind of infection
If you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease, talk to your doctor or gynecologist before having sex. Also, seek treatment if you have a genital infection as it may cause dryness and pain during intercourse.
For example, you may have cystitis, which is a bladder infection that can cause pain during sexual intercourse. Another common cause is urinary tract infections which are treated with antibiotic therapies prescribed by the doctor
Step 5. Get physical therapy
If you have suffered an injury, rehabilitation therapy could help you improve the movement and flexibility of the musculoskeletal system and also reduce pain during sexual intercourse. Older people can benefit from physiotherapy, especially if they suffer from neurological disorders.
Step 6. Consult a sex therapist
You can find it by visiting the website of the Italian Federation of Scientific Sexology (FISS). Try one-on-one or couples therapy to bring out all concerns about your sex life. Your therapist can show you exercises or communication techniques to reduce pain during intercourse.
If you have experienced sexual violence or harassment in the past, consider seeing a therapist. It will help you enjoy sex rather than feed the pain
Part 2 of 3: Reduce Stress During Sex
Step 1. Relax
Take a deep breath, focusing on the air entering through your nose and mouth. Practice some yoga before going out or being with someone. Repeat "relax" until you feel the tension ease. If you are stressed, your body may tense up, affecting the success of your sexual encounters.
Sometimes it is also helpful to voice your fears. For example, you might say to your partner, "I'm nervous and maybe I need to be more relaxed."
Step 2. Create a peaceful atmosphere
Try to have sex in a place where you can focus all your attention and energy on your partner. Reduce outside noise and distractions. Turn off your cell phone. Make sure no one and nothing can interrupt you. A quiet atmosphere will allow you to relax and let yourself go.
Try to think about what kind of environment you feel most relaxed about. Some people prefer candles and soft lights, others prefer background music
Step 3. Communicate with the other person
You may be convinced that it is unromantic to talk about sex with your partner, but not talking about it can be more deleterious. If you tell your partner what you like before having sex, you will be much more likely to express your fantasies in bed as well. It is also important to know the sexual limits that affect each of you.
- For example, you might say, "I'd like to start slow" or "I'd relax more if we turn off the lights."
- If you have a gynecological problem, such as endometriosis, you should let your partner know. Be open and don't be afraid of rejection. He will surely find a way to make your meeting fulfilling.
Step 4. Take care of your body
You can improve sex and make it less painful if you eat right, exercise, and sleep well. Think of it as a kind of training through which you push the body to its limits. If you are not fit, your body may react by feeling pain. Try to eat a balanced diet and exercise at least three times a week. Sleep at least eight hours straight every night.
As for women, health care and weight loss are related to an alleviation of symptoms caused by polycystic ovary syndrome. For men, weight loss can bring testosterone levels back to normal and improve their sexual performance
Part 3 of 3: Relieving Pain During Sex
Step 1. Don't rush
Take your time before, during and after sex. Otherwise, the stress could increase as well as the risk of pain. When having sex, slowly discover what pleases your partner and don't be afraid to express your wishes.
If the pain is unbearable, there's no harm in stopping and trying again later. It is best to avoid the "let's get rid of the thought" approach
Step 2. Have sex more frequently
It may sound strange, but by having more sex, you actually get used to the body and, as a result, feel less pain. In some cases, if the sexual organs are not stimulated, you can suffer from genital atrophy - this is as true for men as it is for women. Therefore, a certain frequency of intercourse prevents the onset of this problem because it favors the flow of blood to the pubic area. In addition, an active sex life, always safeguarded with due precautions, also allows you to reduce fear and stress related to sex.
Many people are able to relieve pain through masturbation or other sexual practices in addition to penetration, especially if they have no way of increasing sexual activity
Step 3. Don't underestimate foreplay
Spend at least 20-30 minutes petting, which is the time it takes people on average to get aroused and prepare for sex. Think of it as an opportunity to establish physical and mental chemistry with your partner. Try touching yourself in various ways to understand what increases your libido.
For example, try to feed and reduce the pressure of physical contact, combining light strokes with more decisive ones
Step 4. Use the lubricant
During foreplay, offer your partner the use of a lubricant. You can apply a water-based vaginal one directly to the vagina, vulva or penis. Usually a few drops are enough to reduce friction and pain. There are also vaginal moisturizing products that counteract dryness and offer relief for several days.
Many people find lubricants especially useful when having condom sex
Step 5. Try different positions
Experiment with a variety of sexual positions to discover the most pleasurable and least painful ones, both for you and your partner. The one on the side can be comfortable for some women as it allows for shallower penetration. Sometimes we prefer the one in which one of the two partners is on top of the other because it gives more control.
To reduce pain in the spine, doctors often recommend the missionary position as it allows the person lying down to place a towel or other soft support under the curve that is created in the lower back
Step 6. Stop if you need to
If you feel pain during intercourse and want to stop, notify your partner and stop the sexual act. Don't feel compelled to continue just to please him. Tell him how you feel and work together to try again in better conditions.
Step 7. Avoid anything that can cause irritation
If you notice redness, itching, or itching during or after intercourse, it is likely that something has irritated you. Some people are allergic to latex and experience adverse reactions to certain condoms. Some women also suffer from a semen allergy. In some cases, even the use of spermicides or certain lubricants can cause irritation in both men and women.
If you find that a certain product irritates your skin, you can always avoid it or find an alternative. For example, latex allergic people often use lambskin condoms
Advice
If the pain becomes unbearable, you can use other ways to express yourself intimately with your partner, including kissing
Warnings
- If sex is accompanied by pain, address the problem immediately as it is unlikely to go away on its own, but it could only get worse.
- Always protect yourself during intercourse.
