Only time can heal the wounds when a loved one passes away: friends and family can offer their support through condolence cards, letters, online messages and flowers, because they love you and care for you, so it is. useful to know how to respond to messages and kind gestures when you are ready.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Understanding What To Say
Step 1. Respond to condolences in person with a sincere "thank you"
People understand that you are sad and hurt, so when they say "I'm sorry for your loss" they just want you to know that they support you and don't expect a longer conversation, so it's okay to respond with a simple "thank you".
- Other short sentences you can say are: "I appreciate it" or "Very kind".
- If the other person also knew the deceased and is grieving, you can answer something like, "It must be hard on you too."
Step 2. Write a simple and sincere message to the person who sent you cards or gifts
Be brief when replying to an online message or writing a note - just thank the recipient for their solidarity or support, mentioning specific details like the flowers they sent you or their attendance at the funeral.
- Here is an example of a thank you message: "Thank you for expressing your solidarity in this difficult time for our family. I really appreciate the beautiful flowers you sent: your love and support mean a lot to me."
- If you reply to a letter, choose a formula to conclude your note based on the relationship with the recipient: if it is a close member of the family or a friend, you can write "A hug" or "With love", while if it is a person you do not know well, such as a friend or colleague of the deceased, you can write "Best regards" or "Sincerely".
Step 3. Reply to messages only when you are ready
Some respond to condolences after a few weeks to get over their grief more quickly. However, if you don't feel ready to answer that soon, take your time even if you have to answer after two or three months; if you still find it difficult, ask for help from a friend.
Method 2 of 2: Replying to Letters and Messages
Step 1. Send a handwritten card or postcard to the person who sent it to you
You will receive telegrams and messages of condolence of all kinds: if you receive heartfelt and handwritten letters, reply in turn with a handwritten message.
There is no need to respond to generic condolence cards signed with your name only
Step 2. Respond using pre-printed tickets for the occasion for an easier solution
If you can't respond with personalized cards or letters, you can use pre-printed thank-you postcards available from the funeral home.
If you'd rather send a longer letter in addition to the thank-you note, add a note specifying that you intend to respond with a more personal letter when you can
Step 3. Reply to anyone who posted condolence messages on the funeral home website
Many funeral services offer online message boards where you can post public comments of condolence that you can respond to in thanks.
Here is an example of a message that you could write in response: "Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate your closeness in this difficult time."
Step 4. Post a social media post thanking those who sent you condolences online
Expressing condolences online is an increasingly common practice, so if you receive messages or comments on a site like Facebook, for example, you can post a message to thank all those who have expressed solidarity with you.
If certain friends send you a postcard or give you a phone call, as well as send you a message on Facebook, respond with a thank you card
Step 5. Give thanks by email if this is a person you usually communicate with through that medium
Sometimes, sending e-mail messages is perceived as impersonal, but if your friend or relative has e-mailed condolences to you and you usually communicate in this way, then you can reply via e-mail as well.
