If you've made a mistake, but are willing to step up and fix it, good for you! An apology letter is a great way to start correcting a mistake or help a person feel better, even if the mistake was unintentional. If you want to make sure that your apologies are truly effective and don't cause even more suffering, you will need to follow the advice in this guide. Start with Step 1 to learn how to write a great apology.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Write Your Apology
Step 1. Indicate what kind of letter it is
It is a good idea to start by indicating that this is an apology letter. This will give the person reading the opportunity to emotionally prepare for the rest of the letter. You don't want her to be confused as to why you are writing or what you are saying.
Write something like, "I wanted to write you an apology letter."
Step 2. Admit your mistake
After saying that you are apologizing, specify what you are apologizing for and why it was a mistake. Be very specific and descriptive. By admitting your faults openly, the person you are apologizing to will know that you really understand what you have done.
Write something like, "What I did last Saturday was horribly inappropriate, disrespectful and selfish. Your wedding should only count on your happiness and it should be the celebration of your love. By asking Jessica to marry me I turned my attention to myself.. I tried to steal your moment and I was wrong."
Step 3. Recognize the pain you caused the other person
Recognize that you hurt her and how much. This is usually a good time to say it wasn't your intention to hurt the other person.
Write something like: "Joseph told me that my actions have not only ruined your marriage, but are also affecting your honeymoon, making it less special. I hope you understand that this was never my intention. I wanted you to be able to rethink these moments by remembering only happy things, but I have ruined everything with my selfish actions. I have robbed you of these happy memories. Even though I may not really know how you feel, I can certainly understand that what I have done it's one of the worst things I could do."
Step 4. Express your gratitude
If you want, even if it's not required, you can acknowledge all the hard work and positive things the person has done for you in the past. This way you can show your appreciation and let her know that you really feel guilty about what you did.
Write something like, "It was really terrible of me to treat you like that after you welcomed me with open arms into your family. You not only showed your amazing and beautiful love for my brother, but you also gave me support and kindnesses that I never thought possible. Hurting you like that was an insult to all the things you did for me and I hate myself for that."
Step 5. Accept responsibility
This is one of the most important parts of an apology letter, but it can be the hardest to write. Even if the other person has made mistakes, now is not the time to point them out. What you need to do is admit responsibility for your mistakes openly and unreservedly. You may have had good reasons for doing what you did, but that doesn't have to be a reason to avoid saying that your actions hurt another person.
- Write something like: "I could try to give an explanation of what I did, but there is no excuse. My intentions, even if good, do not matter in this case: only my bad choices matter. I take all the responsibility. of my selfish actions and the terrible pain I caused you."
- Don't find justifications for your actions, but you can explain your reasoning very carefully. If you think it is really necessary or that it will improve the situation, you can explain why you have made the choices you have made. You should only do this if you feel that explanations will make the injured person feel better.
Step 6. Offer a solution that leads to change
Saying you're sorry isn't enough. What makes an apology really valid is finding a way to fix it in the future. This is even better than saying it will never happen again. When you offer a plan to change things, you will show the other person that you really want to improve the situation.
Write something like, "Saying I'm sorry is not enough. You deserve more. When you get home, Jessica and I would like to have the chance to throw a big welcome party in your honor. It will be the party of the year and it will be dedicated. 100% to the celebration of love between you and my brother. If you don't want to, that's not a problem: I just wanted to find a way to help you create the amazing and happy memories I took away from you."
Step 7. Communicate your desire to improve your relationships in the future
You shouldn't explicitly ask for forgiveness - it is better to express what you really want, which is that the relationship between you will improve in the future.
Write something like, "I can't expect forgiveness, although I certainly do. I can only say that I hope things work out between us. I want you to be well and eventually be happy in my company. I want to catch up. the beautiful relationship we had. I hope that, in the future, we can find a way to overcome this and create happy memories together."
Part 2 of 3: Apologize Correctly
Step 1. Don't promise a change if you're not 100% sure you can
Is very important. If you've made a mistake that you are likely to repeat or that stems from inherent differences in personalities or values between two people, don't promise that you will change. This is because you will likely make the mistake again, and your future apologies will be worthless.
Step 2. Pay attention to the language
Apologizing is a learned skill. We have a natural resistance to doing this and often go to great lengths to avoid it. This is the reason why, if you want to apologize correctly, you will need to pay attention to your language. Some phrases and words sound like an excuse, but in fact they only make the situation worse because they show that you don't really mind. It's easy to use these words inadvertently, so be careful when writing your letter. Examples include:
- "Mistakes have been made …"
- Sentences with if, such as: "I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt", or "If this made you feel bad …".
- "I'm sorry you felt that way."
Step 3. Be sincere and genuine
When you apologize, you need to do it sincerely. If you can't do this, sometimes it's best to wait until you're truly sorry before apologizing. When writing your letter, avoid formal language and clichés. Don't copy a letter you found on the internet. You will need to talk specifically about your situation so that the person you are apologizing to knows that you really understand what happened and why it was a mistake.
Step 4. Do not include expectations and assumptions in the letter
Your letter must not be pretentious, rude or offensive. You shouldn't give the impression that you are trying to get forgiveness by instilling a sense of guilt. You won't have to make assumptions about how the other person feels or why they are angry, as you may show that you didn't understand much of what happened. It's best to take a humble tone and let the other person be in control of the situation. This type of language is the most likely to lead to forgiveness.
Step 5. Wait a day or two before sending the letter
It will be helpful for you to re-read it when you are less emotionally involved.
Part 3 of 3: Editing the Format of the Letter
Step 1. Choose the best way to start the letter
For an apology letter, you should start with the classic "Dear…". It is best not to use too flowery language at the beginning of the letter and to write very simple greetings.
Step 2. Conclude the letter with class
If you don't know how to end the letter, use the classic "Sincerely". You can be more creative if you want to avoid making the letter seem too formal. Try phrases like "I really thank you for listening to me", or "I apologize again from the bottom of my heart for the problems my actions have caused and I hope I can fix it."
Step 3. Consider whether the apology should be formal
If you are writing an apology letter in a professional or formal context, you will need to make sure your letter is formal. In addition to printing it beautifully, you should also add things like the date, name, company name, written signature, and other formatting associated with a formal letter.
You should also use formal language in the letter that is appropriate for the situation
Advice
- Try to take all the blame; don't try to involve someone else. Show that you are responsible and mature.
- Make sure the letter is short and concise, get to the point, and take full responsibility.
- Make sure your letter isn't too short. Two or three sentences will not be enough. Avoid starting to rave though!
- If you are having trouble writing the letter, ask a friend or family member to help you. They may have more experience with these things than you, and they will certainly be more than happy to help you.
- You have to put aside your pride when you apologize. With pride, nothing is achieved, while fixing a relationship is often priceless.
