It doesn't matter if you've just converted, are simply curious or maybe you haven't been for a long time, confession can be intimidating if you don't know it thoroughly. What to do? What to say? How rigid is the process? Rissati! It's actually pretty simple - just like we describe it to you in this article!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Preparing for Confession
Step 1. Do an examination of conscience
As you go to confession, you will probably have an idea of what you mean. Sitting down to reflect on your actions is called an "examination of conscience." So take this moment to remember how you have behaved since your last confession - think about minor sins and sins of a certain magnitude. If you wish to pray to the Holy Spirit during this time, you can do so. Not sure where to start? Here are some questions to dwell on:
- Did I disobey any commandments?
- Did I feed my faith?
- Has something influenced my life more than God?
- Have I ever denied or doubted my faith?
- Have I ever harmed others, by accident or intentionally?
- Have I rejected any aspect of my faith?
- Have I forgiven?
- What are the causes of my sins? What temptations do I surround myself with?
Step 2. Understand the difference between venial and mortal sin
Most of us commit venial sins, nothing to be ashamed of, even if forgiveness must be sought. These are everyday sins: lying to a friend to get you off a party, taking God's name in vain, etc. Then there are the mortal sins that are certainly not trifles. For a sin to be considered deadly, there are three conditions:
- It has as its object a serious matter
- You must always be aware of what you are doing when you do it
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You must have done it of your own free will
- Remember that whatever they are, the priest will keep your secrets. He will not be able to (and will not) make judgments or tell what you have done. Not even under the threat of death! The priest can be trusted. You don't have to worry about the consequences of talking to him. Hiding his sins from him is his own sin!
- Unfortunately, many think they are capable of easily committing a mortal sin, which worries them to the point of becoming an obsession. This is an erroneous belief. The good news is that these are often venial sins, because many don't understand the concept of grave matter in relation to the concept of mortal sin. Grave matter means that the sin must be very serious. Examples of grave matters include murder, rape, and incest. Venial sins are minor sins, although they are committed with full awareness. Although a venial sin does not open the gates of hell to you, they are still to be avoided at all costs.
Go to Confession Step 3 Step 3. Time of confession
Many churches have specific times in which you can go to confession, you can physically go to see or call to find out. Even if the priest is usually always present, going to confession during the set times is easier. However, a short phone call or an appointment can guarantee you a private confession.
- Don't be nervous about entering the church! Many write the times of confession on a sign outside or inside the episcopal bulletin which is usually found at the entrance. Some even publish it online!
- If you have a lot to say, a private confession might be better. A normal session lasts about 10 minutes. If you think yours will last longer, feel free to ask for a private one.
Go to Confession Step 4 Step 4. Pray to be honest and repent
Praying before confession is always a great idea to make sure that everything is fine, that nothing escapes your memory, and to make sure that your penance is authentic and meaningful. You must approach confession with the best of intentions.
A large part of a good confession involves really wanting it, seeking forgiveness by putting your heart and soul into it. Even if you sat down with the priest and sobbed "I hurt my friend" with despair and repentance, it would still be better than not listing all the sins committed since you last went to confession, looking up with achingly. It's all a question of sincerity and fidelity. The act of confession is contrition, that is, the rejection of sin
Part 2 of 3: Talk to the Priest
Go to Confession Step 5 Step 1. Enter the church and sit in a pew
You can also go straight to the confessional (as long as there are no other people waiting), but sometimes it's better to take a minute alone first. You have this beautiful church probably all to yourself. Do you feel its energy permeating you? Can you feel the majesty of the Lord and how are you part of it?
Take a moment to kneel and pray with your head down and your hands together. Reflect on faith and how you feel at the moment. Think about how you are responding to Jesus' call and how you have lived in the light of his love
Go to Confession Step 6 Step 2. Enter the confessional
Obviously check that the priest is ready to receive you. You will understand this because you will see it alone or you will notice another faithful coming out of the confessional. Sit in front of him or behind the partition, it's up to you, depending on whether or not you prefer to remain anonymous. The priest will not treat you differently anyway.
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Make the sign of the cross as soon as he tells you and say: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. They have passed (X) since my last confession." This is the standard sentence. However, if you sit down and say hello it's okay anyway. The priest knows what he is doing.
The Byzantine rite is a bit different. The priest sits next to you putting the epitrachelion on your head. It can also follow the Prayer of Absolution. The idea is always the same, however, follow it
Go to Confession Step 7 Step 3. Follow the priest
Once you are seated and made the sign of the cross, sit down and follow the directions of the priest. He will ask you how long you haven't confessed to yourself (if you don't provide this information voluntarily), how you feel, how your faith is doing, and what sins you would like to talk to him and God about. It's a very informal conversation!
Do not worry. There is absolutely no pressure on you. If you have truly come with the intention of lightening your heart, you are more than welcome to church. There is no wrong way to confess
Go to Confession Step 8 Step 4. Confess your sins
This is the part that is a little intimidating, but look at it this way: the priest you're talking to has probably heard it all before. Anything you have to say won't upset him. So when he starts asking, he rattles off every fact from the worst to the least. If he asks you questions, answer them but don't feel compelled to go into detail. A simple "I've done so-and-so" will do.
The priest will be understanding. If you don't remember exactly the sequence of events, it will be fine anyway. You don't remember the reasons, ditto. All the priest cares about is that you are as honest as possible and that your heart is of the right disposition
Go to Confession Step 9 Step 5. Listen to what the priest tells you
He will talk to you about everything, perhaps asking you your intentions, but above all he will remind you that God loves you, sins or no sins. If he has ideas to draw you closer to the Lord, he might suggest them. He is there to help you after all. He will ask you to recite the Act of Pain:
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My God I repent and I regret my sins
because by sinning I have deserved your punishments
and much more because I have offended you, infinitely good and worthy of being loved above all things.
I propose with your holy help never to be offended again, and to flee forthcoming occasions of sin.
Lord, mercy, forgive me.
Go to Confession Step 10 Step 6. Listen as the priest offers you absolution and gives you a penance
Do not worry! It won't be anything heavy. You might as well leave after saying a couple of prayers. Take the acquittal to heart, now you have a new and clean record to work with. It is so comforting!
Just to clarify: "absolution" means your sins are washed away. "Penance" is your expression of repentance, showing God that you are truly sorry for what you have done that you only want to be forgiven
Part 3 of 3: Sealing the Pact
Go to Confession Step 11 Step 1. Leave the confessional, you will feel more relieved
The priest will tell you, "Go in the name of peace and love and serve the Lord," or something similar. Smile, thank you and go happy! Your sins have been forgiven and you are a new person. You are much closer to God now. Do you feel it? What will you do with your new start?
If you forgot to confess something, that's fine. God knows your intentions and therefore has forgiven you along with your other sins. Maybe you could mention it next time. Or it could get worse and become a useless fault
Go to Confession Step 12 Step 2. You can return to the desk if you wish
Many often choose to return to pray for a while, offering a silent thanksgiving to God. And if your penance consists of a number of prayers, there is no better time than to turn to God. So feel free to return to your seat and manifest your reconciliation with prayer.
Many reflect on their experiences and how they can avoid sinning in the future. When are you going to go back to confession? What can you do to find inspiration and live in His image? Be steadfast and try to live as He wants
Go to Confession Step 13 Step 3. Complete your penance
Whatever the priest gave you, discount it now. Whether it is at church pews or during a conversation with your partner, it is best to complete it immediately. You will feel so much better when all is said and done!
After doing penance you may want a moment to thank God and bask in his absolution. Think about how much He loves you and how great it is to be a part of His glory. Not everyone is so lucky
Go to Confession Step 14 Step 4. Promise to remain faithful to God
We do not expect you to no longer commit sins. God knows this is ridiculous! You will only have to try to avoid those situations that can lead to sin. Better not even consider confession an excuse to sin! No, no, no. Confession is only part of bringing humanity a little closer to God, imperfections included. All He wants is for you to do your best.
As the days and weeks pass, remember God's role in your life and how to behave to live according to His wishes. Seek inspiration from the scriptures and surround yourself with people who live alike. In other words? Live by loving and serving the Lord. Your God
Advice
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There is another version of the Act of Pain which reads:
O my God, I repent from the heart for offending you and repel my sins for which I could lose Heaven and deserve the pains of Hell. Above all, I regret having offended you, my God, infinitely good and deserving of all my love. I pledge with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, repent and improve my life. Amen
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