Becoming a surrogate mother takes great gifts of generosity. This process involves a number of physical, emotional and legal problems; It is therefore vital that you carefully consider all the related advantages and disadvantages before making the best decision for you. Regardless of whether you want to go to an agency that will pay you a fee or whether you offer to carry the pregnancy for a loved one to term, understand the steps you will need to follow before making your final decision. In Italy surrogacy is prohibited by law, so this article refers to the law and practices in force in the United States, although they are not uniform at the federal level.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Prepare for Pregnancy
Step 1. Find out if you are a good candidate
There are no legal requirements to become a surrogate mother, but most agencies follow their own protocol. Usually, women must be between the ages of 21 and 45, be in good physical health, have a stable family life, and have previously given birth without any complications.
Step 2. Undergo a pre-conception visit
Before getting pregnant, you need to have a medical examination to be sure of your health condition. The doctor will perform a physical exam, blood tests, and collect personal and family medical history.
- If you suffer from any chronic medical condition or have had complications during pregnancy in the past, your doctor will explain what the risks are and how to minimize them.
- If you are taking birth control pills, remember to ask your gynecologist how soon you need to stop taking it from the date of fertilization.
- You will need to get vaccinated against certain conditions that could be dangerous to the fetus, including chickenpox and rubella.
- You should also consider getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases, such as HIV and chlamydia. These pathologies are dangerous for the fetus, could cause complications during gestation and lead to infertility. If you have decided to go to a surrogacy agency, know that these tests are mandatory.
- Prospective parents may also ask you to undergo certain screening checks, such as those for certain diseases that could infect you or the baby during pregnancy, as well as a psychological and genetic profile.
Step 3. Undergo a psychological assessment
If you have decided to use the services of an agency, you will need to do some interviews with the psychologist, to make sure that you do not have a hidden desire to keep the baby. You can take this opportunity to discuss your emotional well-being as well, although it is not an indispensable aspect.
It is very important that you understand how difficult it can be to part with a baby you have been carrying for nine months. Surrogacy is a widely debated topic, because many people believe that a mother is unable to truly consciously consent to the transfer of the baby before it is born
Step 4. Start taking prenatal vitamins
To offer the fetus all the benefits of these supplements, you should start taking vitamins with folic acid before fertilization. Folic acid is the most important element for the fetus during the first weeks of development; for this reason, if you wait to know the result of the pregnancy test before starting to take it, you may not meet the needs of the fetus at the crucial moment.
Part 2 of 3: Arrange Consent to Surrogate Motherhood
Step 1. Learn about the different types of surrogacy
There are two types: the traditional one (also called partial surrogacy) and the gestational one (also called total surrogacy).
- In a traditional surrogacy, the ovum of the woman who will carry the pregnancy to term will be fertilized with the sperm of the future father of the couple who will raise the child or with that of a donor. In this case, there is a genetic link between the unborn child and the surrogate mother. This procedure creates many legal complications, because in some states the woman who gave birth can claim parental responsibility over the child, thanks to the genetic link.
- With gestational surrogacy, the woman who carries on the pregnancy undergoes an in vitro fertilization, that is, an embryo created in the laboratory is implanted in her uterus with the eggs and spermatozoa of future parents or donors. In that case, the surrogate mother and the child have no genetic link.
- You can decide to offer for gestational surrogacy for a very close family member. You cannot opt for the traditional one if the father is a relative of yours, because it increases the risk of genetic diseases for the child.
Step 2. Learn about the legal aspects
The regulations governing this practice are extremely complicated in the United States. This is because there is no federal law and each state has its own rules. In some states it is illegal to enter into any subrogation agreements and you could face jail time. In others, however, not only is it completely legal to make an agreement and undergo the procedure, but there is also the possibility of receiving compensation.
- Many states allow gestational surrogacy, but not traditional surrogacy, due to potential custody conflicts.
- If you live in a state where surrogacy is not recognized, you may be forced to secure the support of the child and will be liable before the law, especially if it is the result of a traditional surrogacy.
- Furthermore, in other states, future parents must submit a formal request for adoption after the birth of the child, while in still others custody is established before the date of birth.
Step 3. Consider if you want to rely on an agency
If you have decided to become a surrogate mother using the services of a third party, they will take care of matching you with a couple who want a child. If, on the other hand, you want to help a couple you already know to start a family, you don't need to go to an agency.
- You can also agree on a subrogation with someone you don't know by replying to an ad or posting one yourself. However, remember that agencies select candidates (both surrogate mothers and future parents), while if you proceed independently you will not enjoy these guarantees.
- You will need to fill out an application and undergo medical tests to be accepted as a surrogate mother by an agency. In some cases it is necessary to meet certain requirements, in addition to those of good health, to be taken into consideration.
- Regardless of whether you rely on an agency or not, it is vital that you have faith in future parents. You will need to maintain a very close relationship with them throughout your pregnancy, so it is imperative that they are reliable and supportive people.
- Before signing any documents, make sure the agency is serious and reliable, because not all of them are.
Step 4. Get a lawyer to draft a contract
Surrogacy involves a lot of potential legal complications, so you definitely need to have a good lawyer who protects your interests throughout the period. He will have to draw up a comprehensive contract which takes into account the rights and responsibilities of all parties involved. This should be done before you undergo any medical procedures.
- Make sure that the contract addresses every important issue regarding your compensation, who will pay the medical bills, who will have custody of the baby in case something happens to the future parents during pregnancy, what would happen if two or more twins were born from the surrogate pregnancy, if one of the parties in question wanted to end the gestation and if there was a miscarriage. The lawyer should advise you for the best for any other legal aspect that needs to be clarified in the contract.
- Find a lawyer other than the one representing the couple of future parents.
- If you have hired an agency, they should handle the contract on your behalf. However, it is always worth having a lawyer who you trust to oversee the documents before signing them, to make sure you get all the guarantees.
Part 3 of 3: Carrying Out Surrogacy
Step 1. Go to the gynecologist for fertilization
Once you have done all the medical tests and have defined the terms of the surrogacy contract, you will have to undergo the fertilization procedure, be it artificial or in vitro, to get pregnant. Both procedures involve the insertion of a uterine catheter which is performed in specialized gynecological clinics. Afterward, you will need to undergo tests to confirm the pregnancy.
- Intrauterine insemination is the safest technique, because the sperm is inoculated directly into the uterus. This is a very quick and painless procedure.
- You may be given a mild sedative with an intravenous drip. You shouldn't feel pain, just a little bit of discomfort.
- Before the procedure you will need to take hormone supplements to increase the chances of success.
Step 2. Keep all the commitments you have made
The surrogacy contract may include clauses to ensure healthy gestation. Go to all checkups with your gynecologist and follow his recommendations for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
It is equally essential to maintain a good communication relationship with future parents. In all likelihood, they will be quite involved in your gestation
Step 3. Get all the support you need
You may find that this path is more difficult than you expected, so don't be afraid to let your feelings out. Many surrogate mothers have to deal with complex emotions during gestation, so remember that you are not alone.
- Confide in your husband or partner if you have one.
- Go to Surrogate Mother Support Group appointments or seek help online. These women perfectly understand what you are going through.
- If necessary, go to a psychologist. Many women in the same condition as you need professional help to cope with the psychological difficulties associated with carrying someone else's baby.
Advice
- Don't let anyone persuade you to become a surrogate mother if you think it's not a good idea.
- Make sure it is clear what reimbursement the agency will make available to you and what is the amount allocated to healthcare costs.
