Sometimes it is necessary to end a relationship because you feel you are no longer involved, but your ex may think differently and insist that you give her another chance, even if you are already dating a new girl. These simple steps can help you get rid of her.
Steps
Step 1. Make her understand how things are
It is always best to say things as they are, even when you are faced with a fragile person, such as a girl suffering from depressive spells or who has little regard for herself. Try to be polite, avoiding any form of sarcasm or unnecessary malice. Your goal should be to explain the situation to her, not to hurt her feelings.
Step 2. Keep the right distances
By continuing to date this girl you know is in love with you, you may be deluding her that a reconciliation between you two is still possible, and this could negatively affect your eventual new relationship. Explain that you are doing it for both of you and your partner and keep her at a distance as much as possible.
Step 3. Try to maintain civil relations if you are forced to meet her at school or work
Treat her as an acquaintance, not as a friend. If it is not possible for you to put some physical distance between you, try to distance it emotionally anyway. Don't get involved with her. You don't know how he might interpret it.
Step 4. Take a clear stance
Don't tell her you want to be alone and then come back to her after a week. Don't tell her you prefer to cut contacts and then go talk to her every day. She will try to get your attention as long as you are willing to allow it, and in this way she will only harm herself by creating a difficult situation for everyone. Be strong!
Step 5. Don't talk about your new girlfriend with your ex
It would become even more haunting. Depending on how insane your ex is, you could even put your new girlfriend in danger by revealing details about her life, where she studies or works, or by showing her photos.
Step 6. It would be a better idea not to let your ex know that you have a new flame right after you break up with her
She might assume that you were cheating on her, making her angry or becoming even more depressed.
Advice
- Act consistently.
- Try to be as nice to her as possible. Avoid upsetting someone who is obsessive about you. You could make the situation worse.
- Get a restraining order if things get serious.
- Remember this is a girl you loved or cared about. You should want the best for her, and if you've moved on with your life, it's not good for her to keep thinking about you. If she gets too overwhelming, try talking to her friends about it. Any of them could help you in making her think.
Warnings
- Be careful of the words you use. If the girl in question is a fragile person (for example, she suffers from depression), you may want to ask someone who is used to dealing with these cases, and who could guide her to get help. If you were too hard on her, she might do something that you both regret, like taking sleeping pills or harming herself.
- Don't tell her you still love her. If you tell her that you love her but prefer to be with someone else, you will send her signals that conflict with each other, confusing her.
- Don't run away as if nothing has happened, if you intend to remain friends with her once it's over. It would be disgraceful behavior. Break up with her, and then stop dating her.
