If you have had one failed relationship after another and you are tired of waiting for the right man to show up, then now is the time to act. Follow the tips below to increase your chances of finding the perfect match.
Steps
Step 1. Live your life
The best thing “anyone” can do to appear more attractive is to lead an interesting and fulfilling life; only deeply manipulative or insecure people want to be with someone who has neither interest nor friends. Think about what you like: do you prefer to be with a man who spends his weekends traveling, taking long walks in the countryside, playing an instrument, taking you dancing or having someone who sits in the living room all the time playing video do you play games and watch television? Stick to the same standards by hanging out with your friends, pursuing your interests and dedicating time to a hobby - this way you might meet some interesting people. Don't give up on your new interests immediately after you meet someone, but rather make them an integral part of your life. This will make you feel happier and more independent which, in turn, will help you decide who to date as well as make you more attractive to interesting men.
Don't be clingy. People who cannot be alone do not attract romantic partners, and if they do they attract those who tend to be emotionally unstable (e.g. those people who want to control others)
Step 2. Look for your ideal man in the right places
First, imagine the type of man you are looking for. Make a list of the important characteristics and qualities you want in a man, but be careful not to get entangled in non-essential things. At the top of the list there should be qualities like "responsible", "respectful" and "honest", and not superficial characteristics like "must have dark hair", otherwise you could rule out someone who might be right for you. (If your list is very long, you should stop and think a bit about what you are really looking for.) Once you understand what you are looking for, imagine what places your ideal man might hang out. You would find him drinking in a bar or more likely find him playing golf, jogging in a park, studying at university, at an art gallery? Think of 10 places you would like your future husband to frequent (all is fair as long as you are seriously interested personally activities that take place in these places and you would still go there alone). And finally, go to these places as much as possible, always without neglecting your personal life. You will soon find yourself meeting more people - and men - simply dedicating time to what you are passionate about.
Step 3. Forget the past
If you let your old emotional wounds spill over into a new relationship (whether it's by reliving your usual power struggles or looking suspiciously at your new partner's every move) you risk choosing the wrong man or otherwise sabotaging a newly born relationship. Learn to manage the emotional distress or, if necessary, the situations of emotional abuse you have been through so that you can see new relationships for what they really are.
Step 4. The clothes you wear should make you feel comfortable and confident
Never think that you are forced to dress provocatively just to attract a man. Usually, women who dress in a way that is both too provocative and too chaste have greater difficulty in attracting the attention of men they do not yet know; a woman who dresses too provocatively will give the impression of being a bit desperate; while a woman who dresses too conservatively will appear severe and give the impression of suppressing her natural sensuality. Of course, men don't all think alike, but in general by dressing smartly you will attract men who are looking for an elegant woman.
Instead of using the way you dress to seek approval or confirmation, give your personality more expression by flaunting confidence whatever your dress style
Step 5. Learn to flirt
The techniques that work best on men tend to be physical although that doesn't mean you have to be overly flirtatious. When you see a man that interests you, look him in the eye and smile; Smiling has been shown to be one of the most effective weapons a woman can use to look more attractive. Consider this scene: A woman looks into the eyes of a man she likes, notices that he is also looking at her, blushes and looks down; then he takes courage and looking up again he smiles at him. (Maybe you think this description is too old-fashioned, but it has been proven that this type of interaction has a positive effect on all men). But be careful not to overdo it: men hardly consider submission as a positive trait. Continue to look the man you like in the eye and smile, but not too much as to become disturbing. If he seems shy and doesn't come close, try to wink at him; if he seems embarrassed and avoids looking you in the eye, leave him alone.
- Once he gets close, stay calm and relax and wait for him to make his move. Joke with him: take it around a bit without exaggerating, and without making sexual allusions. Tell him something particularly interesting about you, but don't talk too much about yourself. Be interested in her life and comment on it in a positive way. If after talking to him you are still attracted to him and he makes you laugh, touch his arm. (Don't look at your hand, but notice how it reacts). Continue physical contact at regular intervals. If he seems embarrassed to you, increase the physical distance between you and decrease the emotional intensity of the conversation.
- Many men like to woo a woman. This does not mean that you should pretend to be who you are not. Many men like to be the first to kiss, to make the first sexual move, to say "I love you", to ask a girl out or to marry them. However, there are some cases where a man may not want to make the first move, perhaps because he is shy or because he doesn't feel he has been encouraged enough. During the first meeting, when you have established a connection and are both about to leave, name a restaurant you would like to visit, talk about a hobby of yours, or let him know that you are free on the weekend - this will give him the opportunity. to invite you to do something with him. Don't be ashamed to give him your phone number: after all it is a harmless gesture and not a marriage proposal.
Step 6. Pay attention to the alarm bells
It's not easy to tell if someone you care about is exhibiting suspicious behavior, especially in the early stages of a relationship when your emotions - and your hopes - are at their peak. If you have a tendency to get a crush on the 'bad guys', read this article:
- Recognize a Manipulatory and Authoritarian Relationship
- Understanding Manipulatory Behavior
- Recognize a Despotic Person
Step 7. Avoid common mistakes when dating someone
Unfortunately, many women are wrong in this. While it's true that generally men are interested in sex early on, if you're aiming for a lasting relationship (or even marriage), it will be more important for him to get to know you better to understand if you are the kind of woman he is with. he will want to spend the rest of his life. Obviously this will all be a slow process. He will avoid emotionally dependent women who make him feel uncomfortable and instead focus on interesting and satisfied women in their life who accept him as he is. He won't want a woman who would take any man and then try to change him; he will look for a woman who does not 'need' a man but really wants him. When he feels that things are getting too serious too quickly, he may run away for fear of engaging with someone he still doesn't feel safe about. (In this sense, men are almost always more serious about choosing a mate, and slower to commit because they are very selective.)
Don't reveal too much about yourself. Whether it's a man or a woman, a dear friend or a stranger on Facebook, no one wants to know every little detail of your life. Talking nonstop with the guy you're dating about your hobbies, gossip, or personal issues will make him run away
Step 8. Check your compatibility carefully
When the relationship is blooming, ask him what he wants from life. How do you intend to achieve these goals and what will you do to achieve them? Are they compatible with your goals? Personal values, cultural background and compatible goals are key elements in predicting the success of a relationship. Don't overlook the important differences (like whether you want children or not) in the hope that one of you will change his mind later. It would be a very unstable and unrealistic start to what could ultimately turn out to be a major disappointment.
A good culture is also important for a successful relationship. Don't postpone your education - or let your partner postpone theirs - just in a rush to 'settle down'
Step 9. Aim for a healthy relationship
It's not always easy to understand what a healthy relationship should be like, especially if you've been hurt in the past. If you've just gotten out of a bad relationship, your emotional balance and self-confidence may have failed, making you question everything.
- It is impossible to have a healthy relationship without disagreeing every now and then. However, the number of fights does not seem to be a problem in a couple. All couples have unresolved problems, but those who find ways to live with these problems have a longer and happier future. Suppressing emotions and pretending that everything is fine is a dangerous path to take that eventually leads to divorce. Despising the other, rolling your eyes every time he speaks, belittling his opinions, and disrespect are all strong indications of a relationship in crisis destined for failure. Men are particularly sensitive to criticism, and being hard on them doesn't help create a lasting relationship. Furthermore, cohabitation does not seem to have any connection with the eventual success of a marriage (indeed, at times it can even have a negative effect).
- "Choking" a man with his emotions is another risky behavior that can lead to divorce. If you have problems, talk to your friends first, organize your thoughts, and concentrate on simply expressing your feelings rather than your judgments. Instead of saying "You are / always do this …" try saying "It saddened me or made me angry when …"
- Disinterest or indifference are determining factors that can lead to divorce more than conflicts. Not surprisingly, according to some commentators, those who are very much in love and affectionate during the first few years of marriage have a better chance of having a long and happy marriage. Conversely, those who displayed ambivalence, often expressed negative feelings and assumed their partner was doomed to failure. More importantly, these feelings remained stable over time.
- Never treat your partner like a child: don't scold him, don't give him unsolicited advice, don't judge him, don't give him ultimatums, and don't try to control him. If you really can't resist, admit that you disagree on the way he does things, but accept and appreciate it as it is and don't try to change it. If you can't hold back the urge, it's best to leave him free to find someone who truly appreciates him. That's why it's important to find a partner like you by going to the right places. Take the time to get to know him; if you want your marriage to last, don't get married too soon (for example, only eight months after the first meeting).
Step 10. Don't rush
Couples who end up being successful in love are not the ones who don't make hasty decisions when they are still experiencing the falling in love phase; solid couples waited for the 'first moment of passion' to turn into a more stable relationship before getting married. One thing women could learn from men is to have fun and think about their personal gratification when they are young. In this way, you will not suffer from resentment in the future, especially towards your partner or your children because they have not 'allowed' you to do what you wanted. Date men (or guys) without worrying about making commitments before you really get to know your partner. When you feel ready for a serious relationship, you will have more experience in figuring out who is not for you. Being extremely demanding is not ideal, but never tolerate disrespect. During the early stages of a relationship, the attraction is strong, so it is important for a woman to take the time to "select" men in the same way that men do with women.
Advice
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Use every opportunity to get to know your partner better.
- Read "The Rules" by Fein and Schneider. Even if you don't agree, it works.
- Read the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" with your partner. Even if the title sounds silly, it is a very enlightening book.
- Read the books of Nancy Nichols.
- Read "Men Prefer Bitches," by Sherry Argov.
- Read articles by Christian Carter, Rori Raye, and Carol Allen on the internet.
- Don't waste your time. In the early stages of courtship, if a man does not return your attention, it is wise for a woman to turn her energies elsewhere (to one of the other 3 billion men available on the planet, for example). There are many good parties out there, it just takes a little time and several first dates to find one. While some shy men appreciate when a woman lets them know she is interested, in general men are scared of women making aggressive advances, especially sexual in nature. This is because if a woman 'allows herself' without first trying to get to know a man well, he will think that her interest is only superficial and will interpret his advances as a sign of desperation. When a man hasn't considered the idea of a longer commitment to a woman, talk about marriage before they've been dating for at least a year (unless he mentions it first), talk about having children, marriage, or any other kind of commitment would warn any man. In general, if a man is very interested in a woman, he will make no secret of it; he will woo her relentlessly and he will be the first to suggest marriage.
Warnings
- If he doesn't want to talk to you about his future, he probably doesn't want to spend it with you.
- If he doesn't show interest in improving your relationship, he probably doesn't care much.
- Likes attract. If his friends aren't for you, maybe he's not for you either.
- If you are looking for the right man, don't play with him. If a man feels that a woman is using him to satisfy his ego, the potential romantic relationship will soon turn into a disaster. If you are really into him, you need to be 100% sure of yourself and what you want. Be honest and don't force the relationship too quickly.
- Even if you follow all the steps and assimilate all the advice, you may still feel that you have not found the right man! In love, and in life, there is nothing immutable. Everything changes. You can't help but start over.
- Some women - knowingly or not - challenge men by being tough. Testing her courage and her confidence, her commitment to court you, her ability to face things when things go wrong, her intellect and her loyalty, could ensure that only the best man can win her. Starting a new relationship can be stressful and difficult, so you need to proceed carefully. Remember that being difficult only works if he can easily find you without years.
- Don't play with her feelings: Some women are very friendly at work but don't want to reveal their marital status. Nobody likes to be made fun of. Reveal your personal situation as soon as possible while dating.
- Remember that many men are perfectly willing to go out with a woman and have sex with her without having any intention of marrying her. In fact, many men date a woman for years with no intention of marrying her. So it's important to make it very clear that for many men, sex doesn't necessarily mean what it means to a woman. This is not to say that men are not emotionally involved in sex, on the contrary, they often get hurt when a woman accuses them of "using" them; but you shouldn't interpret sexual activity as a desire for a serious relationship. Instead, look for clearer signs of interest such as discussing your future plans.
- Know that there is a period in the life of men when they feel ready to get married. Before that period, they may be in an unstable financial period, still being students or still dedicated to career advancement; dating girls "to gain experience" rather than to find a steady partner; spend much more time in risky behaviors (even if they will always have a desire to take risks and 'go hunting' for new experiences and will feel unhappy if they are completely deprived of it). Once a man gets tired of drinking with friends and having casual relationships, that he takes his career more seriously and decides to buy a house - then he will start thinking about marriage. In some rare cases, a woman may be able to accelerate this transition, but in any case it will have to happen when he feels ready. There will therefore be no ultimatum, pleas, or tears or other behaviors that he will interpret negatively.
