Finding the right person to date is difficult in its own right, but finding the one you can happily share the rest of your life with can seem virtually impossible. Take your time, hang out with your friends and be dedicated to yourself. Hang out with someone, but take it easy. Make a commitment, but with care. Love cannot be rushed.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Date Someone
Step 1. Get involved
The more time you take to hang out and socialize, the easier it will be to find someone you like. Expose yourself by attending events organized by your friends, signing up for a class and chatting with your classmates, opening an account on a website, app or dating service. Try to have a spirit of adventure and an open mind. For example, try speed dating.
- The most popular method of finding a potential partner is through mutual friends. Make time for your friends and invite them to introduce you to people they think are potentially suitable for you.
- The second most common method is to attend public spaces, including bars, concerts, poetry readings, gallery openings, and parish meetings.
- The third is at work. If you work from home, try going to a co-working, which is a shared workspace. When you can, go to the company headquarters and attend conferences. However, if you want to ask a colleague you work with regularly, don't rush, as this can make your professional life difficult.
- The fourth is to sign up for a dating website or app, while the fifth is to use social networks. Open an account on a platform like OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, and Hinge.
Step 2. Ask someone out
If you care about someone in real life, invite them out. Ask him without hesitation, so that he understands your intentions and can answer directly. To limit the discomfort, do it just before you say goodbye and leave. Tell her, "It was nice talking to you, but I really have to go. Would you like to have dinner together one of these nights?"
- If your shyness prevents you from inviting her in person, you can make a phone call, but you need to ask her for her phone number first.
- If you've found an interesting person online, send them a friendly message. If you want to get to know her better, exchange at least two to five messages with her before inviting her out.
- If you invite a friend, don't be under any illusions and be prepared for possible rejection. Make sure you ask him before you get involved so much that you risk being devastated by a no. When you realize you have a crush, step forward.
- If it's not too painful, stay friends. The person who rejects you may be the one who will introduce you to your soul mate in the future.
Step 3. Get to know people and don't rush
If you are anxious to find "the right person", you risk scaring the people you hang out with and scare them off. Arrange an appointment as you would organize other events: a fun activity to share with someone else and that you will live with a good disposition in order to enjoy it to the fullest. During the meeting, focus on the appointment.
- Ask open questions, listen carefully, and answer honestly.
- Be honest. When asked a question, tell the truth. You don't have to worry about being judged, worry instead of looking fake.
- Stay away from your cell phone. Focus on the date!
- Don't spend the entire date worrying and trying to figure out if this person is right for you. It is not possible to define it at the first meeting. Instead, focus on the conversation and the activity you do.
- Don't say "I love you" or try to talk about a long-term commitment on first dates.
Step 4. Be kind
If you're trying to find someone to share the rest of your life with, show your best side. Don't try to be dominant or play mind games.
- Denigrating her or criticizing other people on a date will show her that you are insecure or mean.
- Even though you think you don't want to see her again, do your best to enjoy the date. Treat her well! It still deserves attention, education and sympathy, even if you will never see each other again.
Step 5. Have a fun meeting
An appointment does not necessarily imply dinner, wine and eye contact. Think of an activity that will put you at ease. Go for a coffee and take a walk in the park. Visit an exhibit at the museum. Meet for breakfast at the bar and take a seat at the counter.
- Invite her to a party or other social event. If isolation makes you nervous, try seeing her as a group.
- Welcome his proposals. If someone invites you out, let them give you ideas. Don't assume you won't like a new place or a business you've never done before.
Part 2 of 3: Preparing for Success
Step 1. Study
Many couples know each other at university. In fact, in this place you have a lot of things in common, you spend time together, you get an idea of each other by observing yourself in the guise of students and friends. If you have already graduated or cannot return to study, try taking courses that interest you: cooking, foreign languages, dance or economics.
College doesn't just help you meet a potential partner, studying can increase the length of the relationship in the future. Graduated couples have a lower divorce rate than those who are not
Step 2. Take care of your health
Your psychophysical state affects your love life, as it defines who is willing to date you and for how long. Exercise regularly and sleep well every night. Eat regular meals and healthy snacks, avoid carbonated drinks and refined sugars. Go to the doctor regularly.
Give special mental health care. If you are too shy, depressed, anxious, or insecure to go out with someone, see a therapist
Step 3. Take care of your physical appearance
To attract a person, you need to look your best. Always try to be clean. Shower every day, while shampooing shouldn't be done more than three times a week. Brush your teeth and floss after eating to get fresh breath and a healthy mouth.
- Dress in a way that suits your personality. Fashion choices vary according to your tastes, but in general, wear clothing that fits your body, is clean and is not frayed.
- If you can't figure out which colors work best for you, use black and neutral shades.
Step 4. Love yourself
If you don't love yourself, you won't find someone who will love you. Pursue your dreams: a job you are passionate about, friends who treat you well, hobbies you adore, and good communication with your family. Take care of your emotional, physical and economic well-being.
Treating yourself well is an indication of emotional stability, an extremely attractive trait
Step 5. Nurture your friendships
Your friends are likely to introduce you to the right person. They will always help you face the most delicate phases of your love life, they will support you when you find a person you like and they will be your companions in moments of solitude. If you isolate yourself, it's hard to go out with someone. As a result, if you are alone and desperately looking for company, you will hardly seem confident and charming.
Behave well with your friends. You don't have to be an extremely outgoing person. Keep your commitments, return favors, and remind your friends why you admire them
Part 3 of 3: Finding the Right Person
Step 1. Define what you want
Think about the things you want most in life: companionship, children, economic stability, a strong community, artistic success, living by your ideals, feeling good about yourself. Think about where you want to be in three, five, 30, 50 years. Don't think "What am I looking for in a partner?", Think: "What do I want in my life?".
- Examine your report and see if it is helping you achieve your goals. If you find that this is not the case, ask yourself if you are willing to live without these things for the sake of the other person.
- Adapt to what you find. Most people don't have a clue what they want. If you find someone who supports you and opens your horizons, someone you care enough for that you have decided to change for them, it is possible that you have found the right one.
Step 2. Try to be his best friend
Romance doesn't help predict whether a relationship will be strong enough to last a lifetime. Instead, it is the respect, interest and affection towards one's partner that fuels the relationship. Don't make a lifelong commitment to someone until you've had a chance to become a close friend of theirs.
- See if you have a similar sense of humor and the ability to have fun even in everyday or difficult situations.
- Respect your partner's mind. If you don't like her way of thinking, you are unlikely to enjoy talking to her for the rest of your life.
- Consider if you have common interests. You don't have to do everything together, but you should share preferences for certain interpersonal activities and relationships.
- Try to promote equality. Relationships in which only one person dominates are doomed to unhappiness. If one member of the couple treats the other in a way that would not be tolerated if the opposite situation arises, this will be a problem.
- You and your partner should trust, support and respect each other. If you share all of this, the relationship will be strong.
Step 3. Argue with respect
Relationships are fragile at first. Control the urge to run away after the first argument. An argument may seem like the end of the world, but it's natural, part of all healthy relationships. Learn to fight better. Introduce sentences with the pronoun "I" instead of "you". Explain how you feel rather than blaming your partner.
- Resize arguments. If an argument gets heated, scale it down by getting closer to your partner. Stop arguing, start listening and meet valley. If you can touch each other in moments of panic, try holding hands or hugging each other. Use a sense of humor. Suggest a change of scenery.
- For example, if you argue during an appointment, start from scratch by inviting her again. Go elsewhere or change seats and say hello again.
- Don't avoid saying what you think or talking about controversial topics because you fear you may break up. Instead, calm down and invite your partner to do the same.
- Unless you really need to make a specific change, avoid bringing up controversial topics that have led to arguments in the past. In such a case, you will focus more on beating your partner out of exhaustion than trying to convince her of your point of view. Relationship is more important than victory.
- For example, if you have a fight over a friend who is important to you, but who drives your partner crazy, address the subject by telling her that you will continue to see him alone and will no longer involve her in your friendship.
- Instead, don't argue with your partner and tell her she's wrong and your friend isn't annoying. She feels annoyed by him, and if you argue, the harassment will only get worse.
Step 4. Gradually state your feelings
As you date someone, you may begin to feel more and more the need to declare your intentions. You may find yourself constantly wondering how she feels, if she takes the relationship just as seriously. Don't insist that she give you answers, but let her know you're okay with her.
- After a date, tell her you enjoyed it.
- After a few dates, tell her that you really enjoy being around her.
- When you feel ready to date her exclusively, talk to her about it. Tell her that you like her and that you would like to go out only with her. Ask her if you are on the same page.
- If it's not ready, give it time. Each person has their own rhythms.
- Try not to say "I love you" from the first dates. When you think you love someone, keep the beauty and energy of that feeling to yourself for a month or two.
- If you're dating someone you really like, but they say "I love you" before you're ready to hear it, tell them clearly. Then, add that soon you too may be ready. Explain that you take the relationship seriously and that you want to keep seeing her.
Step 5. Take your time
Getting married young increases the chances of divorce. The same happens when you get married to someone you have recently met. If you are hungry for company, invest in your friendships. Date someone fondly, don't expect every relationship to last forever, but respect and enjoy the company of the people you date.
