Being a teenager can be difficult, but even if your hormones have gone crazy, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy these years. If you are looking to have a pleasant adolescence, there are many things you can do, big or small, that can change everything!
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Having Realistic Expectations
Step 1. Understand that there is no one way to "be a teenager" or one foolproof way to enjoy the teenage years
We are all different, especially in those years. Only you can find a way to have fun and live well! Some people prefer to spend time with friends, others to study and work; some decide not to be noticed and act as "wallpaper", while others want to be the center of attention and are not afraid to be different. To argue that there is only one way to have a beautiful adolescence is wrong; this article is just a guide and you don't have to follow it to the letter.
What you like may not like others, and that's normal. Some things are enjoyed by many teenagers, but not everyone. Turning 13 does not mean that the next day you will wake up and everything will be different
Step 2. Do not give weight to the expectations, positive or negative, of the media
Being a teenager isn't necessarily easier or harder than the other stages in life. Even if it is a phase of big changes, it doesn't mean that it will be the most complicated time for you. If you are worried that your life in the future may become a continuous succession of drama, the truth is that it is a phase that you will pass, as you have just done with childhood.
Remember that the media misrepresent teens. They are often described in a very limited way on television, in movies and in books. Be careful not to base your teenage expectations on Disney Channel, MTV, High School Musical, or perhaps older shows like Seventh Heaven or The OC. These are fantasy stories full of stereotypes, which dramatize some aspects of life in secondary school, but which do not represent your reality. Likewise, don't compare yourself to the actors in those shows, who are often already in their 20s and in some cases even over 30, have model physicists, tremendous talent, and don't even look like real teenagers. Amateur YouTube videos featuring real teens are much more realistic and plausible than movies and TV series. Many films about adolescence, particularly older ones, have become nostalgic films for adults (for example The Breakfast Club), and many Disney and Nickelodeon programs are designed for children
Step 3. Realize that the teenage years are not all the same
From 13 to 19 years pass six very different years. The middle school period is different from high school, which is different from the world of work, university and vocational schools. A clumsy and thin 13-year-old could become a muscular and confident soldier by the time he reaches 19.
Part 2 of 4: Develop Yourself
Step 1. Develop your personality by focusing more on your thoughts and goals, rather than what other people think
For many people, the teenage years are filled with worry; stop being obsessed! A lot of anxieties arise from what other people think (like "What if after what I did I don't like you anymore?" Or "My mom will be angry if I don't study medicine as she wants?") Instead of what you think. Follow your own path and do what you want, without taking into account the opinion of others; dye your hair an unusual color, wear comfortable clothes without thinking about fashion, call the girl you like, choose your path in life and don't worry about what others think about your choices! In the end, it's about your life, so live it however you like.
Of course, there are limits that you shouldn't cross. For example, you may want to have your say and it is normal to have personal opinions, but you should not offend others or argue in inappropriate places. It is important to follow some social rules, such as not hitting annoying people. Learn when it is best to respect the norms of society and not do what you think
Step 2. Find out about your interests and dedicate yourself to them
When we're young, everyone tells us to find hobbies and you probably already have some interests that keep you busy. Use them to your advantage. Find something you want to practice and spend more time on (e.g. playing an instrument) or consider a niche in a topic you already enjoy (e.g. go from writing a journal to writing poetry or literary works). Don't be afraid to try new things. It's never too late to indulge in a new interest and who knows, you might even find the passion of your life!
- Consider finding the right balance between your interests so that you have more variety. If your main hobby is computer programming, try a more artistic pastime, like painting, or learn a foreign language. Just because you are a "nerd" or a "nerd" who loves art doesn't mean you only have to be interested in those fields. It's boring never to change your landscape.
- Explore your style and interests. Now is the right time to experiment; don't feel obligated to stick to just one niche. From fashion to hobbies to music and movies, you can explore all possible passions. Don't feel bound by traditions and labels: if you like to dress like a rocker, but you love country music a lot, that's okay. Do what you like.
Step 3. Put your prejudices aside
Even if you think you don't have any, in some cases negative thoughts can take root in your mind about certain groups of people. Latent prejudices towards religious groups, ethnicities, sexual orientations and so on can affect your ability to see the world clearly; set them aside. Nobody fits into a stereotype and making a judgment about a person just because they belong to a certain group prevents you from really knowing them.
On a smaller scale, you stop thinking badly about people you have had bad experiences with. If someone hasn't caused you physical or mental suffering, it's probably not as bad as you think. If everything you know about him comes from external sources and not from the person concerned, you don't even know if what they say is true! You don't have to be everyone's best friend, but try to be civil and respectful, maybe even friendly. People can surprise you and be very different from how you imagined them
Step 4. Work on your professional ethics
True, school can be difficult, but in the teenage years it plays a huge role. The results you achieve at this age can determine the opportunities you will have as an adult. Spend some of your time studying and do your best to get good grades in middle and high school. Try to take care of things as soon as possible instead of procrastinating. Learn to prioritize, whether it's school, work, or other extracurricular activities you are involved in. Improve your study method (and try to have fun!). You may get bored at school, but studying will be very useful later in life and some teens (not just geeks) like it!
- You don't have to take all 10, but do your best to at least pass all subjects. Don't be lazy or your grades will suffer.
- Don't rush to do your homework to see your friends; try hard to learn new things. We often forget that school is for learning, not for locking you up in class for five hours a day.
Step 5. Don't rush to figure out who you are
The teenage years are chaotic, ever-changing, and your interests will likely vary a lot too. Nothing is decided forever, not even at the age of twenty. You will continue to grow and develop as a person throughout your life. You don't need to understand and decide who you are at this age. Whoever tells you that you have to decide which university to attend or plan for your future is wrong. Even if you think you have decided what you will do, don't be surprised if your plans change; you never know what life has in store for you.
Part 3 of 4: Developing Relationships
Step 1. Try to improve your social skills
Some teens have problems with social interactions, for many different reasons. Since social relationships are necessary to be successful, it is important to learn how to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Consider asking a friend or relative your age to help you develop your social skills. It won't replace practice with strangers, but it's good training nonetheless.
Teens with autism or with other mental disabilities / illnesses, such as ADHD or social anxiety disorders, may have great difficulty socializing. If you are autistic, try to develop better social skills, to learn to read the body language of others and to understand idioms and sarcasm; it is important to understand how to interact in the neurotypical world. If you have ADHD or a similar problem, you can learn not to interrupt others, not to dominate the conversation, to focus on the other person or on the activity you need to do, etc
Step 2. Try to be polite towards people you don't know well
Every day you will meet people you don't like, in school or in public. You may think it's fun to make fun of someone you don't know, but it's rude and eventually the rumor will get through to those concerned. Later in life, you will have to work with strangers; therefore it is better to treat everyone politely. If you can, try to be friendly too. People around you will appreciate it, even if you don't notice it.
If someone you don't know makes a gaffe about being made fun of, for example dropping their books all over the place, don't laugh too and instead help them gather their things if you have the time to do so. It's a kind gesture that will be appreciated, even if it doesn't seem like it to you
Step 3. Find some close friends
You don't have to be at the top of the social food chain and know all the kids in school, but you should at least form some solid friendships throughout your teens. Friends are the ideal companions for developing your social skills and building stable relationships with others will help you understand what you are looking for in friendships and romantic relationships. Above all, though, remember that life is simpler and happier with friends. Make sure you find people who appreciate you as you are and don't get you into trouble; your goal is to enjoy adolescence, not to be unhappy because of your "friends".
- Find friends who make you feel good and who motivate you to improve.
- Hang out with friends you really like and don't worry about maintaining relationships with people who don't make your life better. Friends come and go, they can be many or few and of various types, it is normal. It doesn't matter the number of friends, but their quality, cliché as it may seem to you!
- If you can't make friends, search the groups of people closest to you. For example, are you LGBT? Look for groups of LGBT teens in your city or similar teens in your school. If you'd rather write than socialize, look for writing clubs. If you are autistic, try to befriend other guys with the same problem.
- If you can't make friends in person, try using social media. However, be very careful in this case. Friendships via the internet develop differently than in person and many on the net are not who they say they are. In some cases, you may even be talking to a bot and not a human. Engage in online relationships with caution and never agree to meet someone privately. Do not disclose your personal information to people you have met on the internet if you are not sure you can trust them. It is best to get to know a live friend before contacting him on the net.
Step 4. Go slowly in your love life
Many, but not all, teenagers are interested in a romantic relationship and want to find a partner. If you're embarking on a romance, take it one step at a time and communicate well with your partner. This approach leads to a healthy relationship in the long run. Understand that you don't even have to be tied up with your partner. Make sure the relationship allows both of you to have friends and personal interests. Don't throw yourself into something if you're not ready.
- If the relationship ends, it's not the end of the world. You may be tempted to abandon relationships with the opposite sex, especially if you have been deeply hurt, but keep an open mind. People grow and change. A relationship that could have worked six months ago could be extremely destructive today. Remember, few couples survive their high school and college years, whether it's distance or other factors.
- Be wary of relationships in which you are being abused. If you have the feeling that you always have to be careful what you say or do in the company of your partner so as not to make her angry and to avoid being beaten, or if you cannot speak to anyone because you are immediately accused of cheating, these are serious signs. warning that your relationship is unhealthy and that you need to end it! The same goes for toxic friendships.
Step 5. Maintain a good relationship with your family
Relatives, especially parents, probably worry about you in your teens. Many teens become grumpy, withdrawn, and stop appreciating family as they did before. Try not to make this mistake. Family ties are among the most important in life; they are the foundation upon which you build all other relationships, whether it be friendships, love affairs, or family relationships that you will create in the future. Also, you see those people every day, so why not make your time together enjoyable?
- You don't have to be best friends with all your relatives, but try to be nice and spend some time with them; play with your sister, help your brother with his homework, take a walk with your mom or watch the game with your dad. Avoid staying in your room all day and only seeing your family at mealtimes.
- Improve the relationship with your siblings. It is normal to have a few quarrels with them, but remember that the relationship you have is often one of the longest in a lifetime. They can be great allies, mentors and friends, not only today, but also when you are older.
- Beware of relatives who abuse you. Your family members can become close friends, but they can also negatively impact your life. If they always hurt you, you could be a victim of emotional abuse. If your brother is always beating you, he is physically abusing you. Usually, talking to a trusted friend or confronting the person who abuses you can help you get better, but consider filing a child abuse report.
- Maintain a close relationship with your extended family as well, for example with your cousins; find ways to spend time of theirs when you get the chance. You probably don't see less close relatives often, so take advantage of the opportunities you have to be with them.
Part 4 of 4: Helping Others
Step 1. Consider volunteering
If you're not interested in volunteering or getting a job, that's normal. Helping others is just advice. However, many volunteers testify that the work makes them feel good and helps them develop useful skills in life. Consider the benefits and drawbacks of paid or volunteer work and decide whether helping others is something you care about.
Step 2. Don't think that "you can't help anyone"
You don't have to get a job while you're a teenager (and under a certain age it's nearly impossible), but that doesn't mean you can't help! Consider volunteering, odd jobs, or private lessons. You can do a lot for others! Gaining experience by working or volunteering can be very helpful in your future professional career.
You can also volunteer at home. If you have an internet connection, you can offer your time online, for example by working on wikiHow articles on your favorite topics
Step 3. Start with your interests and talents
Do you love animals? Volunteer at a kennel or gather supplies for a local shelter. Do you enjoy talking to people? Find a job or charity where you have the opportunity to connect with the public. Are you able to create complex web pages with great ease? Offer web design lessons. Turn your interests and talents into productive activities. You can help others and have fun at the same time!
Step 4. Consider tutoring children younger than you
If you are doing very well in school, find out if there is a program in your institution that allows you to tutor students who are having difficulties. If you don't have this option, try asking families with young children and promoting your tutoring services; you may find great opportunities!
- There is nothing wrong with turning down a tutoring job. If you don't want to lecture your neighbors' son because he is too loud and restless, or if you don't feel prepared enough in a subject where he needs help, you can say "I'm sorry, I can't take the job" or "I don't think I am. to be able to work well with your child ".
- You can decide to get paid for private lessons or offer them for free. However, if you decide to make some money, don't overdo the fee. Few people will hire you if you ask for 10 euros an hour!
Step 5. Participate in fundraisers and activities for the causes you support
Some organizations organize activities to find funds to donate to certain causes; for example, plant sales for cancer research. In other cases, events are promoted to make a disease better known to the general public or in favor of the integration of disabled people. These are all activities you can participate in.
Make sure you know what you are supporting. Some groups are at the center of controversy. Research an organization before attending one of its events. Don't risk supporting a cause that's not really right
Step 6. Make other people happy
You don't have to join a large volunteer organization to make a difference. Consider making simple gestures to brighten up the day of others: make a positive comment on a schoolmate's poem, stop a friend and tell her that the dress she is wearing looks great on her, help someone who has dropped their belongings, keep the door open for a waiter carrying a full tray and so on. A gesture that seems very small to you can completely change another person's day. Help improve the world by making life for others more enjoyable.
Advice
- Traveling can be a great way to develop your personality! However, it is not strictly necessary for personal growth and there is nothing wrong with it if you do not have the possibility to do so.
- Don't try to be normal, because there is no "normality" when you are a teenager; everyone changes at that age and tries to find themselves! This is your chance to experiment.
- Remember, not everyone experiences their teenage years well, that's a fact. However, if it happens to you too, focus on being nice to others and wait until you get through this stage. Just because your current situation isn't the best doesn't mean you have to give up.
- Many teenagers face lots of little dramas. Remember, by avoiding unnecessary anxieties, you will be happier.
- School doesn't have to be boring; live it to the fullest! At this stage you enter adult life and have to take on new responsibilities, so do your homework, give it your all, and find friends.
