The following steps will show you how to get your friends to trust you right from the start of a relationship. Developing bonds of trust during the early stages of a friendship can be a quick or gradual process, depending on the experiences each of you bring into the relationship. It is absolutely worth the effort to build this trust, whatever your past experiences are, and you will find that you can earn a friendship in which you can rely on each other until the end of the world.
Steps
Step 1. Be a trustworthy person
Before you expect your friends to trust you, you need to show them that you deserve it and that you trust them. Trusting is a risk, but when it comes to friendship, you have a better chance of having a friend and keeping him by trusting him instead of being a cynic with a constantly circumspect attitude. Here are ways to help your friend know you are trustworthy:
- Don't shy away from promises and appointments when making a commitment. Offer a clear explanation or apology if something genuinely goes wrong by not allowing yourself to keep your promise.
- Show your emotions. Bringing out your feelings in front of a friend is an important and easy way to let them know you really care. Being open can give you two possibilities: you can get hurt because you have exposed yourself too much or you are told secrets because your friend trusts you. Either way, it's better to expose your feelings than to bury them so deeply that your friend will consider you superficial. Give it a try.
Step 2. Be kind
Kindness is an important variable in developing and maintaining trust because, by trusting your friends, you give them the gift of compassion and support. Being able to readily demonstrate your faith in another person and support them even when they don't feel the same level of self-confidence is a great act of kindness. It is kindness that cements the growth of trust.
Step 3. Ask questions
If you ask a new friend a lot of questions right from the start, he or she will perceive it as a sign of interest on your part in him and his life. This will indicate to him that you are not a person who thinks only of himself and your friend will begin to confide in you his deepest feelings and even his innermost secrets.
Step 4. Be humble
Being humble is difficult at times but, if you master this skill, then your friends won't be afraid of your judgment. Being humble is the best approach to reassuring a new friend that you are not arrogant or snooty. A modest person earns trust because humility is based on putting the other first. By recognizing that you make mistakes and that you don't know everything, your new friends will realize that you are someone who knows how to win over others and, ultimately, that you are trustworthy.
Step 5. Don't make fun of your new friends
Although they find it trivial or funny, they may find it humiliating and see some disrespect for them. A person they just introduced to you is someone who may want to confide in you someday. Making fun of her or making fun of her is not a good idea, because a person who constantly laughs at others is a person who is not truly trustworthy; she may be insecure enough to be proud and speak ill of a friend when he is not within audible distance. If you tease a friend from the start, when he is ready to trust you and tell you something serious, he will decide not to.
Step 6. Avoid being demanding
Friendship is all about giving and receiving, not taking all your problems onto your friend. Trust can be difficult to establish when a friend demands too much time, too much consolation, too much support, or too much reassurance from the other. This can lead to your friend feeling pissed off and being careful about what you are going to dump on him next time.
- Give your friend space. Clingy, attention-seeking friends are stifling and seem like you don't believe in the reinforcing pauses that are typical of a true friendship. Giving each other space is a sign that you trust that your friend will still be one without having to constantly breathe on each other's neck. You know your friend will be there when you need it and he is aware of it too.
- Another reason to avoid being too demanding and / or clingy is to decrease the possibility of the element of fear or worry driving the relationship. A person is less willing to trust if they feel there is a risk that the needy or clingy person may transfer their loyalty to someone who seems more sympathetic at one point or pass confidential information just to win a new friend.
Step 7. Don't judge
Criticizing a new friend won't help you gain their trust. Initially, he may find your "advice" useful, but after some time, when he realizes that you always thought you knew what works for him better than he does, he will be afraid to turn to you to tell you something intimate. Rather, treat your friends with honesty, respect, and dignity. Listen to their confidences in a helpful, non-judgmental way and give them your unconditional support.
Step 8. Talk on the phone
Talking on the phone is an excellent way to get a friend to open up and give him the opportunity to share new ideas and thoughts with you. The trick is to ask questions, use your voice to suggest your emotions, and try to be serious with him. All these factors combined will allow your new friend to reveal what he is feeling at any given moment. Eventually, he'll trust you and trust that you really care about him.
Step 9. Share with your friends
Being kind is easy and we can all show ourselves that way. Sharing your thoughts, your time, and your dreams with a new friend is an excellent way to build their confidence in you. Your new friend will often rethink your generosity. You can share candy, money, clothes, your time, your skills, and even your vacation home. This really depends on you.
Step 10. Be Trustworthy
It's not nice to tell a secret or something else that can make your friend not trust you anymore. Also, knowing that your secret is being talked about can hurt your feelings a lot.
Advice
- Avoid searching your friends for information they are unwilling to give you. If there is something they don't want to divulge, give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that their reticence in speaking has nothing to do with you. They will open up over time.
- Take note of their emotions and work on them to make them feel better. You will make your friends happy and that will make you happy.
- Never tell someone else the secrets your friends have told you. They may never trust you again. While it sounds like the silliest secret in the world, spreading the word could be very serious for your friend.
Warnings
- Don't speak ill of your friends behind their backs.
- Don't constantly ask questions.
- Especially avoid talking about personal matters at the wrong time.
- Don't call them constantly. It creates an unpleasant feeling knowing that someone is trying to track you all the time.
- Trust takes a long time.
- Avoid making personal jokes about your friend.
