We all make mistakes from time to time. We can do them in the exercise of concrete tasks (such as writing, typing or drawing errors), offending someone, doing something we regret or slipping into dangerous situations. Road accidents can happen to everyone; the important thing is to understand how to remedy them and learn how to manage them. To remedy a mistake it is important: understand that you have made a mistake, adopt an action plan, practice self-treatment and learn to communicate appropriately.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Understanding Your Mistakes
Step 1. Acknowledge a mistake
You must first understand where you went wrong to be able to remedy it.
- Define your mistake. Did you say something wrong? Have you accidentally made a mistake while working on a work or school project? Did you forget to clean the bathroom like you promised to do?
- Try to understand how this happened and why. Did you do it on purpose and later regretted it? Or did you just not pay attention to it? Think like this: “How could I forget to clean the bathroom? I didn't feel like it so I avoided doing it? Was I too busy?”.
- If you can't tell for sure where you went wrong, ask someone - a friend, family member, teacher, co-worker, or your boss - to help you find out. For example, if someone is angry with you, you could ask them directly why and the person in question could confess to you that they were angry because you said you would clean the bathroom but you didn't.
Step 2. Remember your past mistakes
Observe your behavior patterns and consider if you have had similar problems in the past: have there been other times you forgot to do something?
Take note of any recurring patterns - it may help you identify broader goals to work on (such as your ability to focus or other skills). For example, you may have a tendency to forget about jobs you don't like, such as cleaning. This can be a sign that you are avoiding certain tasks or that you need to organize yourself better so that you remember to get certain jobs done
Step 3. Take Your Responsibilities
Understand that the responsibility for your mistakes is yours alone and therefore avoid blaming others. By pointing the finger at others you will not learn from your mistakes but you will continue to repeat them over and over again.
- Take note of how you contributed to creating the specific problem or mistake you made.
- Identify what you could have done differently to get a better result.
Part 2 of 4: Adopting an Action Plan
Step 1. Think about the solutions you have adopted in the past
One of the best ways to solve a problem or fix a mistake is to understand how you have acted in the past in similar situations. Reflect like this: “I have already managed to remember to perform similar tasks on other occasions; how did i do it? Here's how: I wrote them down on my calendar and checked it several times a day!”.
Make a list of mistakes you've made in the past that resemble the present one. Remember how you managed them and whether you benefited from the remedy adopted from time to time or not. If it hasn't helped you in the past, it probably won't work this time either
Step 2. Consider your alternatives
Think of all the possible remedies for the mistake you made. For example, in case you forgot to clean the bathroom, you could: proceed with the cleaning immediately (even if late), apologize, offer to clean another room in the house, negotiate alternative solutions, plan to clean it the next day, or even more.
- Use your problem solving skills to find all possible solutions for the case in question.
- Make a list of pros and cons for each possible solution. For example, if you have decided that one solution to your problem might be to make sure you clean the bathroom the next day, one of the benefits is that the bathroom will eventually be clean. Among the disadvantages you could list: the bathroom will not be cleaned the same day, it is not possible to guarantee with certainty that it will be cleaned (the following day you may forget it again), this type of solution does not help to solve the underlying problem (i.e. forgetting to clean the bathroom). Based on this assessment, it would be more appropriate, if possible, to clean the bathroom the same day and come up with a plan to remind you of it in the future.
Step 3. Establish an action plan and take action
To solve the problem you need to have a plan. Identify the best solution based on your past and current alternatives, then commit to putting it into practice.
Complete the action. If you have promised to fix the problem, do it. Being trustworthy is important in gaining the trust of others and building lasting relationships
Step 4. Make a backup plan
However infallible your plan may be, there is always the possibility that it will not solve the problem. For example, you might clean the bathroom but the person who asked you to do it might be angry with you.
Identify other possible solutions and write them down, starting with the most useful to the least useful. Scroll the list from start to finish. It could include options such as: offering to clean another room, sincerely apologize, ask the person in question how you can remedy the problem or offer them something they like (food, activities or other)
Step 5. Prevent future mistakes
If you can satisfactorily remedy your mistake, you are on the right track to avoid making mistakes and to be successful in the future.
Write what you think you did wrong, then write down the goal for your future. For example, if you forgot to clean the bathroom, your goals might be: make a daily list of tasks to be done, check the list twice a day, check off tasks once they have all been done, and stick some post-its. to the refrigerator for the most important tasks
Part 3 of 4: Practicing self-therapy
Step 1. Give yourself a breather
Accept that making mistakes is normal. Sometimes we feel guilty, but it is important to accept ourselves for who we are, despite our weaknesses.
- Forgive yourself and turn the page, instead of continuing to mull over your problem.
- Try to be a better person in the present moment and in the future.
Step 2. Keep your emotions in check
When we make a mistake, it's easy to feel disheartened, dejected, or wanting to drop everything. If you are feeling overly emotional or stressed, take a break. It will not help you to try to make up for your mistake while you are gripped by such intense emotions.
Step 3. Manage your emotions
Focus on any ways to manage your negative emotions and make yourself feel better. Think about how you have reacted to your mistakes in the past and identify the strategies that worked and the ones that made you feel worse.
- Among the most common strategies for managing your mistakes are: having a positive dialogue with yourself (expressing appreciation towards yourself), exercising or engaging in relaxing activities such as reading or playing.
- Among the ineffective strategies, there are some self-destructive attitudes, such as using alcohol or other substances, getting injured, brooding over their problems and thinking negative thoughts about themselves.
Part 4 of 4: Communicate Appropriately
Step 1. Be assertive
Using your assertive skills means saying what you think and feel respectfully and appropriately. An assertive person is able to admit when they are wrong and take responsibility for their mistakes without placing the blame on others.
- Avoid being passive, so don't try to dodge confrontation, hide or do what others tell you to do without defending your positions.
- Do not be aggressive, that is, avoid raising your voice, shouting, discrediting or insulting the other person and refusing violent behavior (such as throwing objects or hitting the other).
- Do not assume a passive-aggressive attitude, i.e. do not mix passive and aggressive forms of communication because you are angry but cannot express your feelings. By doing so, you may be acting behind someone's back to take revenge or give them the silent treatment. This is not the best form of communication, and the person in question may not understand what you are trying to communicate or why your attitude.
- Send positive non-verbal messages. With non-verbal communication we send messages to the people around us. For example, a smile may mean that you prefer to approach the issue in a mature way rather than sulking.
Step 2. Use your active listening skills
Let the angry person vent their frustration and wait to react.
- Try to focus only on listening to the other person, instead of thinking about how to fight back. Concentrate on the feelings and thoughts of the other, rather than yours.
- Use summary sentences and ask for clarification like: "If I don't get it wrong, you said you were angry because I forgot to clean the bathroom, right?".
- Empathize with the other person. Try to be understanding and put yourself in their shoes.
Step 3. Apologize
Sometimes, when we make mistakes, we hurt other people. By apologizing, you make it clear to the other that you are sorry for the mistake you made, that you regret having hurt him and that you intend to behave better in the future.
- Don't make excuses or give explanations, just admit your responsibilities. For example, confess that you forgot to clean the bathroom and express your displeasure.
- Be careful not to place the blame on the other person. For example, do not justify yourself by arguing that if the other had reminded you to clean the bathroom, you probably would have remembered and would have done it.
Step 4. Commit to change for the better
Expressing the intention to remedy a mistake and committing to work on one's own problems are effective strategies for repairing a mistake that involves another person.
- Try to find a solution. Explicitly ask the other person what they would like you to do to remedy the mistake.
- Reflect on how you might behave differently in the future, for example by asking the person in question what he thinks could help you to never make the same mistake again.
- Make it clear to the other that you intend to work on it to decrease the possibility of making the same mistake in the future, confirming that you will make every possible effort because you do not want the problem to recur. Express precisely what you will do, for example by saying that you will make a list of household chores so that you never forget to do it again.
Advice
- If the task you have to perform is discouraging or excessive for you, take a break and ask for help.
- If you can neither fix nor improve the present situation, focus on how to do better in the future.
