Are you able to resist temptation? Everyone tends to succumb to the lure of life from time to time, but some people seem to have more self-control than others. Often temptations are related to the desire for something that is not healthy or right. Being strongly tempted means feeling ready to satisfy your desire immediately without taking into account the future consequences. Unfortunately, temptations can turn into obsessions. Also, sometimes giving in to temptation can arouse a sense of dissatisfaction, sadness, or guilt. This article will teach you to keep tantrums at bay and help you strengthen your self-control.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Counteracting Temptations
Step 1. Recognize a potential temptation
Closely related to self-control, temptations almost always contain a conflict between immediate gratification and the satisfaction of a long-term goal. For example, if you are on a diet, you may be tempted by a slice of delicious cheesecake that lures you from the bakery counter. To get instant gratification, you should give in to her lure and eat her. But succumbing would interfere with your long-term goal of improving your health by avoiding sugar-rich foods.
- Another example might see you engaged in a romantic relationship, but at the same time surrounded by people who urge you to betray. These people could be past partners who have re-entered your life, colleagues or people you interact with in private life.
- Note that temptations aren't always obvious. For example, suppose you are employed in a company and are tempted to take Friday afternoon off a couple of times a month. A couple of early exits don't seem to make a difference, but this decision could communicate to your employer that you are not trustworthy and more responsible, jeopardizing your long-term goal of getting a promotion and a career advancement.
Step 2. Get away from temptation
Simplify the act of resisting desire by moving away from what tempts you. For example, if you are trying to quit smoking, avoid the places you frequented when you were a heavy smoker. If necessary, you can also decide to avoid people you used to smoke with.
- In case alcohol seduces you, an open bar party is likely to test your resolve. Stay alert: Often being able to anticipate temptations will allow you to avoid them. Your goal is not to be caught unprepared and to always be ready to handle temptation.
- If you can't completely get away from a situation or person, try to manage the situation in order to complicate the bribery attempt. For example, if you are tempted to cheat on your partner with someone from your group of friends, avoid situations where you might be alone. If you really can't avoid meeting her, make sure you only see her in the company of other people.
Step 3. Be honest
When you reject something or someone who tempts you, don't feel guilty and don't feel you should lie. Explain honestly the reasons that lead you not to give in. Your resolve will be strengthened and sometimes temptation will be weakened.
For example, if you are tempted to cheat on your partner and the person you like asks you out, decline and sincerely explain that you are already in a relationship. Knowing this, he could convince himself to behave differently in the future
Step 4. Visualize yourself resisting temptation
Imagine yourself recognizing or touching temptation and then letting it go and walking away. View the experience in as much detail as possible. For example, if you are trying to avoid sweet foods, imagine you are holding a bar of chocolate in your hands. Imagine sniffing it, touching it, and then putting it back in its place.
After some practice, you can try to voluntarily expose yourself to temptation. Go to the supermarket and face the object of your desires directly, having it in mind that you want to be able to resist. This technique is not suitable for those who wish to stop abusing substances such as alcohol or drugs. Visualizing that you are giving in or coming into contact with the object of addiction can act as a stimulant and make the effort to resist even more difficult
Step 5. Evaluate the long-term consequences
When you have a strong desire for something, you tend to focus solely on instant gratification. Before giving in to temptation, think about the long-term consequences for a moment. In some cases, for example by cheating on your partner, the long-term effects could be serious and sometimes even extreme. You will hurt your partner, you will harm a person who has faith in you, and you could cause the end of your relationship. We are constantly exposed to what researchers call "epsilon-cost temptations", or situations in which the cost of a single indulgent choice appears negligible, but which when added together lead to significant consequences. It is precisely their appearing negligible that causes most people to have great difficulty resisting them.
- For example, giving in to a single cigarette or a single piece of cake does not seem to have serious and immediate negative consequences in the long term; but the reality is that smoking that single cigarette will increase the likelihood that in the future you will decide to smoke another and then another, thus increasing the risk of exposing yourself to serious repercussions. Furthermore, even a single cigarette can directly damage the body and put you at an increased risk of contracting a serious condition such as cancer.
- Try to evaluate your actions in a larger context. A single slice of cheesecake won't kill you, but if you're trying to avoid sugars to improve your health, eating it will take you a step back in achieving your long-term goal. If I were to give up again in the future, the calories consumed by eating this single slice would add up to the others. If you want to develop greater self-control, analyze your gestures in these terms rather than simply seeing them as isolated incidents.
- You may find that visualizing the consequences of your actions in the long run helps you develop greater resistance to temptation. For example, if you are enticed to return to smoking, visualize yourself as a patient forced into chemotherapy. Visualize the terrible sensations associated with the disease, the inconvenience and expense associated with treatments, and the intense pain your family members are experiencing.
Step 6. Distract yourself
Sometimes staying focused on the object of temptation can make it really difficult to resist. Research has shown that distracting us by doing an activity that is fun or can greatly engage our minds can actually help us counteract the intense desire. Experiment with the practice of meditation or yoga, go for a run in the park or meet friends. Whatever activity you choose to distract you, dedicate yourself completely.
- One option might be to have an activity that allows you to help your community. Turning your attention away from yourself and turning it to someone who will appreciate your cooperation will help you take your mind off the temptation.
- Establishing a specific plan to distract you can be very helpful. For example, promise yourself that if you notice that you feel like smoking a cigarette, you will get up and go for a short run. In addition to acting as a distraction, your choice will allow you to improve your health.
Step 7. Don't give yourself a choice
When you find yourself in front of the object or person of your desires, do not convince yourself that you can choose whether to give in or resist. By eliminating the choice you will be forced to refuse any attempt at flattery.
- For example, if you are tempted to cheat on your partner, avoid flirting with the person who piques your interest. Because you know you don't want to betray the trust of the one you love, you choose not to show yourself prone to betray.
- Looking at another example, let's say you struggle to stick to the diet plan recommended by your doctor and consequently decide to decline invitations to parties where there will be numerous sweets and unhealthy foods. This option may limit your chances of socializing and interacting with others, so consider carefully which path you want to take.
Part 2 of 3: Improve Your Self-Control
Step 1. Make concrete plans
Create a desired program, deciding for example: "Today for lunch I will not eat cheesecake because I want to respect my choice to eat healthily. Instead of dessert I will order an apple", or: "During the party tonight I will have only one beer and I'll ask my partner to remind me of my decision in case he wants to order another one. " Establishing and declaring concrete and specific plans will help you stay focused on your long-term goals rather than instant gratification.
Formulating your plans in terms of "If … then …" might be helpful. For example, imagine the following scenario: "If I'm offered a piece of cake at the party, then I'll say 'No, thanks, I'm trying to get less sugar' and start a conversation with someone next to me."
Step 2. Allow others to help you
If you have a hard time turning down something, like a cigarette or a piece of cake, ask your partner or friend to stop you from accepting. This way you can rely on another person's sense of responsibility and you will have no choice.
For example, if you are at a party and are trying to control your alcohol consumption, ask your partner to remind you what your goals are after you've had your first drink
Step 3. Use technology
Stay accountable with the help of an app or software that allows you to keep track of your habits. If your goal is to spend your money more rationally, keep your expenses well monitored thanks to the use of an app that allows you to record and check them daily. If you want to lose weight, you can use an application that allows you to track even the smallest snack.
Using technology will help you recognize situations in which you are most prone to give in to temptation. For example, you may find that you are more lenient on weekends
Step 4. Challenge another person
If you know someone who is trying to resist your own temptations or change their life for the better in a similar way to yours, challenge them to healthy competition. For example, if both of you have decided you want to exercise more but are struggling to be consistent, challenge each other in a competition to lose the most pounds or spend more time in the gym. Healthy competition may be all you need to be trustworthy towards yourself (and others).
Before starting the challenge, make sure you both agree on the terms of the competition
Step 5. Exercise your gratitude
The feeling of gratitude allows you to remind yourself of the many good things in your life. Staying focused on what you own will help you not feel the need for more.
Make a point of writing down some of the things you feel grateful for in everyday life. Keep the list handy and reread it whenever you feel tempted to give in to an unhealthy desire
Step 6. Develop and strengthen your skills through practice
Numerous studies have shown that even in adulthood it is possible to develop self-control through practice. Thanks to training it is also possible to become more efficient and less impulsive. Just like your physical muscles, those of self-control will also be strengthened by a daily exercise routine.
- One way to practice is to try to change or break a bad habit, even the most irrelevant. For example, if you notice that you always start brushing your teeth from the right side of your mouth, make a conscious effort to start from the left side.
- Establishing a daily routine is another effective way to practice. For example, plan to get up at 7:30 every morning, including weekends, and have a full, healthy breakfast instead of just grabbing a donut before you leave the house. Sticking to the established routine will allow you to develop your self-control.
- If you wish, you can practice by opting for more meaningful decisions, such as cycling to work instead of driving two days a week. Getting in the habit of setting goals and working towards them will help you develop the "muscles" of self-control.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping the Energies High
Step 1. Monitor your energy reserves of self-control
Just like physical energy, that of self-control can also run out and run out. When you exercise, you reach a point where your muscles are tired, and continuing to run or lift weights is difficult. When you train your decision making, the same process happens inside the brain.
- One study found that, unlike those who had not yet been forced to work their "muscles" of self-control, students who had practiced their self-control skills in a previous test performed poorly in the next. So if you are going to a party where there will be whole trays of sweets to resist, make sure you don't have to eat next to a delicious piece of cake during lunch. Exposing yourself to constant temptations will eventually wear you out!
- The same study found that decision making can affect self-control. If you know that on that same day you will be faced with a situation in which an important decision will be necessary, for example a business meeting, try to avoid circumstances that force you not to fall into temptation. For example, if you know you need to make decisions in the afternoon, don't agree to go to a party the same night.
Step 2. Eat healthily
Food can be a significant source of temptation, but proper eating habits can prevent the energy of self-control from running out. One study found that students who have recently eaten and have stable blood sugar levels tend to perform better when subjected to a self-control test than those who have eaten longer.
- Even a light snack, such as juice or fruit, can cause your glucose levels to rise and improve your self-control.
- Eating foods rich in fiber, such as beans, oats, potatoes and vegetables, will promote stable glucose levels and avoid a dangerous fluctuation of glycemic spikes up or down. Fiber is also digested more slowly, so it ensures a prolonged sense of satiety and can help you resist food-related temptations.
Step 3. Avoid stress
Stress can cause rapid depletion of the energy reserves of self-control. There are many ways to face it and counter it:
- Try daily yoga or tai chi sessions.
- Many people confirm that meditating helps them relax.
- Performing breathing exercises can be very helpful. It is important to note that breathing techniques can be performed at any time and place of the day.
- Get enough sleep. Get your body 7-9 hours of sleep a day and stick to set times, even on weekends.
