Teasing, insults, threats, gossip, beating and spitting can all be part of the same repetitive, unwanted pattern of behavior known as bullying. Although this term usually refers to the behavior of school-age children, in general many resort to aggressive tactics to verbally, socially or physically harm someone who is (or is perceived to be) weaker than they appear.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Protect yourself from Bullies
Step 1. Identify if it is bullying
There is not just one type of bullying, but verbal, social and physical forms of aggressive behavior, which go under the definition of bullying. However, what they have in common is that they are unwanted and repeated (rather than isolated) attitudes.
- Verbal bullying includes teasing, insults, inappropriate sexual comments or jokes, insults and threats.
- Social bullying is an attempt to spoil a person's reputation or relationships and can include gossip, induce others to not hang out with a particular person, or deliberately embarrass them in front of others.
- It is important to note that verbal and social bullying do not always manifest themselves in the first person. Cyberbullying is a type of aggressive behavior that occurs via email, social networks, telephone messages or any other digital context. It can include threats, online harassment, excessive messages or emails, embarrassing images or information posted on social networks, and other verbal or social bullying tactics applied online.
- Physical bullying occurs when physical or property damage occurs. Therefore, it manifests itself with spitting, beating, bumping, kicking, punching, tripping and jerking, but also theft and damage to personal items.
- Keep in mind that these behaviors may take place without being considered bullying. If cowardly or aggressive behavior, such as hitting or insulting, happens once, it is technically not considered bullying. However, if it happens repeatedly or it becomes apparent that the perpetrator intends to perpetrate his unwelcome behavior, it can be termed bullying.
Step 2. Stay calm by telling the person who is harassing you to stop
Look at her and in a calm, clear voice tell her to stop, that her actions are inappropriate or that she has no respect.
- If you are good at joking with others and don't feel threatened, you might as well try to laugh at the comments you receive or say something witty. An ironic reaction can disarm the bully and leave him stunned.
- When it comes to online bullying, it is best not to reply to messages. If you know who he is and have no problem telling him to stop, wait until you can do it in person.
Step 3. Walk away
If you don't feel safe or comfortable, go away. Get out of this situation and go to a safe environment where you can find people you trust.
If you are dealing with a cyberbully, stop replying to their messages or delete your account from the site. To further improve the situation, block him so he won't be able to contact you directly
Step 4. Talk to someone you trust
Talk to an adult, family member, teacher, colleague, someone you trust, explaining what happened.
- By talking to someone else, you can ease your fear and feel less alone, as well as understand what you need to do to avoid further bullying.
- If you feel threatened or in danger, it is best to talk to someone who has some authority over the bully and who is able to intervene on your behalf, such as a teacher, boss or police officer.
Step 5. Think about staying safe, emotionally and physically
You do not have to react, but it is preferable to talk about what you have experienced with a trusted person. However, there is some way to take control and improve the situation:
- If you can, avoid harassers or places where bullying occurs.
- Surround yourself with other people, especially if you are usually the victim of bullies when you are alone.
- If it is about online bullying, consider changing the name that appears on the screen or other clues that can be traced to your identity, update your privacy settings so that only friends and family can contact you or open a new account. Remove important information such as address or phone number from your online profiles and limit the amount of personal data to be shared in the future. Don't offer bullies another way to connect with you.
- Document when and where bullying occurs and what has been done to you. In this way, if the violent behavior towards you persists and it will be necessary to take further measures by the figures in charge, you will have a documentation of what happened. If bullying occurs on the Internet, save all messages and emails and take screenshots of comments posted on social networks.
Method 2 of 3: Helping Bullies
Step 1. Do not underestimate this type of violence, telling the victim to "just ignore" the perpetrators
Never assume that a situation that carries the seeds of aggression is harmless. If someone feels threatened, nothing should be underestimated, regardless of whether it is verbal insults or physical threats.
Step 2. Make sure everyone is safe before you intervene
If a weapon is involved, a serious physical threat, or you feel at risk in a given situation, seek help by calling the police or other authorities before taking action.
Step 3. If you feel you can handle the situation, take action immediately, staying calm
It is best to take action as soon as possible, before conditions worsen. If possible, seek help from those not directly involved.
It is important to note that some groups are more at risk than others. When dealing with bullying aimed at lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) young people, children with disabilities or special needs, or with racial, ethnic or religious bullying, special considerations must be made. You can find specific information about these groups on this page
Step 4. Separate the people involved
After separating the people involved, consider the facts and clarify what happened by talking to them individually. By discussing what happened in the same room with both parties, there is a risk that the victim will feel a sense of submission or embarrassment.
Step 5. Involve school leaders
Schools are gearing up with plans to deal with bullies, and many have also implemented anti-cyberbullying strategies. It is the school administration's job to solve these problems, but first it is necessary to inform it of what is going on.
Step 6. Get help from a professional counselor or psychotherapist
Over time, victims may suffer from emotional and psychological disturbances as a result of these experiences. Therefore, in the initial phase, professional help can help to limit these effects.
- Older children and adolescents often try to cope on their own with the emotional consequences generated by bullying, leading to depression and suffering from anxiety disorders.
- If a slightly older child or teenager becomes introverted or shows signs of depression and anxiety, changes in school performance, sleep, nutrition, or even a reluctance to participate in social activities, it is important to seek help. professional. Talk to a social worker, school counselor, or other psychotherapeutic professional.
Step 7. Never tell a bullied victim to counterattack
Bullying involves a real or perceived power imbalance - it is possible that a boy is physically larger than others, a group allies against a single person, a person holds a higher status and exerts more control, and so on. By counterattacking, he can put himself in even more danger or feel guilty about the situation.
Method 3 of 3: End the Bullying Problem
Step 1. Look for signs of bullying
There are many signs of whether someone is a victim or perpetrator of bullying. By paying attention, you will be able to identify this phenomenon and intervene in the initial stages.
Clues to tell if a person is being bullied:
- Injuries or bruises that the person is unable or unwilling to explain.
- Lost, stolen or damaged personal belongings, such as torn clothes, broken glasses, stolen cellphone, etc.
- Sudden changes in interests or a sudden need to avoid certain people or places.
- Sudden changes in nutrition, self-esteem, sleep, or other dramatic emotional or physical changes.
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Depression, self-harm, or speech that involves harming yourself or others. If you are in danger or have suicidal thoughts, or if all of this is happening to someone you know, don't wait. Seek help immediately. You can find it on this page.
Clues to understand if a person is responsible for bullying:
- Increasing aggression, both physical and verbal.
- Involvement in physical and verbal confrontations.
- Frequenting other bullies.
- Frequent problems with figures who hold authority.
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Lack of accountability for one's actions and blaming others for one's problems.
If you notice any of these signs, talk to the person concerned. It is not appropriate to spread your suspicions. By standing next to the victim, you can encourage her to talk
Stop Bullies Step 14 Step 2. Find out about the bullies' favorite targets
Some individuals are at a greater risk of becoming bullied than others. Therefore, it is very important to pay attention and notice the signs.
- Young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT)
- Children with disabilities
- Children with special needs, both educational and physical
- Bullies can also choose victims based on race, ethnicity or religion
- To deal with bullying phenomena that target young gay men and children with disabilities or special needs, or who are racially, ethnic or religiously motivated, further consideration needs to be made regarding the victims. You can find information on how to deal with such situations on this page.
Stop Bullies Step 15 Step 3. Find out where bullying occurs
They usually occur in places where control or outside observation is limited or absent, such as on the school bus, in the bathroom, and so on.
- Make an effort to periodically check these spaces, so that bullies don't choose them as places to attack others easily.
- If you are a parent, find out which websites your child visits. Become familiar with the platforms and devices they use and send them friend requests.
Stop Bullies Step 16 Step 4. Talk about bullying
Discuss bullying and ways to deal with it at home, in the classroom, in the office, etc. Remind people that bullying is not acceptable behavior and that there are consequences for the perpetrator of such acts.
- When people are able to spot bullying, they are more likely to take action, so talk about it before it happens.
- Encourage others to talk to trusted people if they are bullied or know someone in this situation.
- Establish rules for the safe and appropriate use of technological tools. Discuss the sites where children can navigate without problems, but also the most appropriate times and contexts to use the technological devices.
- Develop a program to combat bullying with safe strategies for you and others. Who should you contact if you are being bullied? What should the first reaction be? How to modify it in relation to the place where you are?
Stop Bullies Step 17 Step 5. Be an example of respect and kindness
React with respect and kindness, even when dealing with a bully. Those who assist will see how you can handle the situation by learning from you. By aggressively opposing yourself, you will only exacerbate the situation and keep this type of behavior alive.
Stop Bullies Step 18 Step 6. Create a community strategy
Find others who intend to prevent and address bullying and discuss prevention and intervention strategies.
- Work together to keep an eye on places where bullying usually occurs, and watch out for signs in those around you.
- Learn about school or workplace action lines against bullying, and encourage others to keep up to date as well.
- Let others know what to do and who to contact if you are being bullied. Encourage people to talk if they have these experiences firsthand or have witnessed them.
Advice
- A US Statistical Survey of School Crime and Safety (Indicator of School Crime and Safety) in 2012 documents that only 40% of the time children have turned to an adult, telling them they have been bullied. It is important to be alert to the warning signs that affect your children and the people around them, intervening if necessary.
- Draw up an anti-bullying document and have children and parents sign up for it. Ask people to engage in creating safe environments free from this phenomenon.
- Further resources and information on how to learn to manage situations characterized by bullying attitudes can be found on the following pages:
