Your best friends are always there and they care about you. There are "many" reasons why people are looking for a best friend. Whether it's for no specific reason or to fill a sense of emptiness, go in search of a true friend - finding her may be easier than you might think! Keep reading!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Start Making Friends
Step 1. Start by having a chat
If you don't have many friends, having a chat can be the first step in developing a friendship. Conversational topics often include time, hobbies, or what you do for a living, but another strategy is to talk about something around you. You could try a simple icebreaker greeting ("Hi. I'm Giulia").
- Ask her what her hobbies are, to see if you can do something together that interests both of you. Get to know this person, find out what they like and what they don't, their favorite activities, the colors they love etc. There is so much to discover!
- Friends are everywhere, so don't be shy and get out of the house! Go to the park, join a club or attend an after-school activity! Make new friends everywhere!
Step 2. Listen
Don't be the kind of person who asks questions all the time (and vice versa). If you ask too many questions, some people may feel choked, but if you don't ask them at all, they may still feel uncomfortable, having to lead the conversation themselves. If the person in question doesn't seem interested, think about it and find another best friend - there are many more like-minded people out there!
Step 3. Don't stop at the most popular girls in school
It would make you look a little desperate. Instead, go out with a new girl or one you've seen around but don't yet know. Try approaching a shy person - they might appreciate someone taking the first step with them, for once!
Part 2 of 3: Switching from Friend to Best Friend
Step 1. Start dating this friend
Be careful not to get overly excited by talking too much or he'll think you're a little weird. If you are at school, you can ask her to go out during the break. If you're a teenager, take her by the hand or something and strike up a conversation.
Step 2. Cultivate your friendship
- Ask her for her phone number and call her every now and then, for example once or twice a week (some plants that need to be watered but not too often). Don't call her the same day every week; try to choose a day at random and not follow a pattern.
- Give her some gifts if her birthday or a holiday is approaching. It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive. Homemade gifts are a good idea, but don't make it look like you've worked on it for hours.
- Write her a letter by hand. Sure, it's easier to write an email or a Facebook post, but a handwritten letter or card still has a lot of charm. Taking some time to find the right paper, write on it and mail it, instead of the online alternative, shows how much you thought about it. It could keep your letter for years!
- Ask her if she wants to come over to your house someday or if you can do something fun together. First of all, make sure you know this person a little; if you've known her for a day or two and ask her to come over to your house, she might find it a bit strange.
- Some friendships are born easily and cultivating them is not difficult. Others, on the other hand, require more commitment and action. That's okay. Having to commit to a friendship doesn't mean that he's not the right person for you - it simply means that your friendship is different and that you need to work to keep it strong.
Step 3. Make sure the relationship goes both ways
A friendship must be bilateral. Look for clues as to whether your friend is also interested in a strong friendship with you. If you engage in a one-sided friendship, you will likely be disappointed and may appear clingy or desperate to the other person.
Step 4. Get to know his friends
Getting close to someone often involves interacting with their social circles, so your friendship will also grow based on your involvement in their life. And if it goes wrong with your original friend, you'll still be better off than before, having even more friends to try.
Part 3 of 3: Building Friendship
Step 1. Tell her what a great friend she is to you, once you know her well
Think how excited she'll be to get a note in class that simply says, "Hey, I haven't told you in a while but I'm really happy with our friendship."
Step 2. Tell her a secret
Make sure it's something you wouldn't mind too much if it got revealed, as sharing secrets builds trust. If your friend doesn't keep it to herself, you won't have lost much because you didn't mind too much that this secret came out. However, you will have learned that you cannot trust her as your best friend.
If he keeps the secret, you can reveal another, slightly larger one. Soon your friend may prove to you that she deserves your trust by keeping all your secrets and in that moment you will know that she is someone you can share your deepest thoughts with
Step 3. Always be honest in matters affecting your friend
The best friendships require honesty, even more than normal ones.
If you have any secrets about your friend, remember that they can come at a bad time and have negative consequences for your relationship
Step 4. Avoid feelings of jealousy and suspicion
If it's a good friendship, your friend will be as honest with you as you are with her, so don't make assumptions about what she might think of you. Most of the time, if you think it's something bad, you're wrong! If she is a true friend, she will love you and be honest with you.
Advice
- If she's embarrassed, don't laugh at her but say a few words of comfort.
- Don't mock or scorn something that will make her feel insecure. She won't like you for it!
- While it's possible to have a best friend, make sure she doesn't realize you're making an effort to become one. Don't ask him directly because you will look desperate. Keep an eye on it, but don't risk looking creepy!
- Try laughing at his jokes (even if they're not funny). You will make her feel comfortable.
- If you are becoming a third wheel, don't be afraid to talk to your friend about it.
- Be a little daring and if your friend is challenging you to do something (not dangerous for your life), then go for it; for example, if she says you won't be able to climb to the top of the tallest building on the playground, show her you can.
- Ask her if she wants you to meet or have a sleepover every week. Doing something fun together can create a positive atmosphere between you!
- Make sure you are always there for her, in good times and bad times. Help her when she needs you and always be a good friend!
- Develop a good sense of humor. Many like cheerful people and find it fun to hang out with them.
- Make sure you don't choke her. Give her some room to breathe!
- If she doesn't go to the same school as you, try to get her number and call or text her to get to know her.
- As best friends, you should participate in each other's social lives. So, if she's seeing her other friends, don't hesitate to accompany her (if she invites you). And if you meet these friends on the street, join the conversation. Complimenting one of them is a good way to sympathize and show interest.
- Keep secrets.
- Make your friends happy. Trust them. Be nice to them.
- If you go to his home, make sure you are helpful and kind to his parents. But don't overdo it or you could put your friend in a bad light.
- Always make sure you have other friends too, so if the relationship breaks down you will always have other people; if it works you still have other friends to hang out with.
- When you talk, say his name often (but don't exaggerate) because people like the sound of their name; makes the conversation better.
- You will never be a good friend if you talk behind others' backs.
- Don't always be the one who speaks for everyone. Give her a chance to say something too.
- Don't stare at her too much or she'll think you're trying to flirt.
- Try to be there when you need it. Be kind and take care of her. Play and hang out together. Sometimes you can even give her a small gift (nothing too big). Be positive, never negative. Compliment her and be kind.
- Always speak well of her. If you are truly her best friend, you will surely miss her on weekends and holidays. Try to keep in touch with her.
- Don't tease her heavily. If she doesn't like a nickname, don't use it.
- Ask her without too much fear of becoming your friend.
- Get to know your friend thoroughly and let her do the same with you.
Warnings
- It takes time. Don't force the relationship, you will only hurt yourself and your friend.
- Some people don't like being called too often; it is something that can be very annoying.
- Make sure this person is not mean or double-dealing with others. It happens quite often - some people may be sweet when they talk to you, but then they gossip behind your back. This doesn't mean accusing someone of being fake when they're really sweet, but you should just make sure that doesn't happen. A bad person is never a good friend.
- Avoid visiting her every day; he may find it annoying and think that you are intruding a little too much in his life.
