Most people don't like the idea of being controlled by someone else. However, when you live a love story it is possible to feel the need to offer your man some indication. "Having control over him" can mean encouraging him to communicate better and making the relationship more fulfilling and positive.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making a Healthy Bond
Step 1. Communicate effectively
Honest and open communication is one of the foundations on which a healthy relationship rests. If you and your partner can establish a strong bond, you will find that you will have less difficulty supporting each other and solving problems. It will lessen your need to control it.
- Choose your timing wisely. If you want to talk to him about something important, choose a time that is appropriate for both of you. For example, don't try to address an issue just as she's leaving the house for work or if you know you need to hit the gym within 5 minutes.
- Pay attention to your body language. During a serious discussion, try to sit next to him. This position will lead you to feel on the same level and is more effective than one in which one dominates the other. Also, try to look him in the eye in order to give him trust and respect.
Step 2. Have an important time together
In the early stages of acquaintance, each encounter was probably an idyll. However, as the relationship progresses, it's easy to get stuck in the usual routine. Maybe you spend all your time watching TV instead of making the most of each other's company. Try to share some special moments each week.
- It is very important for the sake of the relationship to spend some time in the company of your man, because in this way you have the opportunity to further strengthen the bond with him. Therefore, spend a few moments together each week - no children and friends, just the two of you.
- Plan something that gets you to interact. For example, try having fun playing bowling. It will help you relax and feel more comfortable when you are together. If your partner enjoys your company, you will no longer feel the need to keep him under control.
Step 3. Deepen your knowledge
It is clear that you know each other, but that does not mean that you are aware of all the important things that concern you. The healthiest relationships are those in which each really strives to understand the other on a deeper level. During your best moments, try to discover what each is unaware of the other.
- The best way to get to know each other better is to ask questions, even simple ones like: "How was your day?". The important thing is to respond with sincerity and precision and to listen carefully to what one has to say to the other.
- Also try asking some more unusual questions, like, "If you could be a character in a book, who would you like to be?" This kind of conversation will allow you to get to know each other better. The more you discover, the more you will be able to trust each other. You will be able to put communication before the desire to control your partner.
Part 2 of 3: Offer a Guide
Step 1. Describe your needs
If you encourage your man to behave in a positive way, you will gradually free yourself from the need to keep him under control. We all want a partner who meets our needs, however we must keep in mind that these needs are not always obvious. Therefore, try to tell your partner exactly what he can help you with.
- For example, try saying, "I had a pretty frustrating day. I really need to let off steam right now. Could you please listen to me in silence for a few minutes?"
- Maybe you get the impression that your man doesn't spend enough time on you. Instead of scolding him, you could say, "I know you've been very busy lately. Why don't we find a time to go to the movies?" If you clarify your needs, it is more likely that it will meet you.
Step 2. Establish the rules on which to base your relationship
Even if you are both adults, it doesn't mean that your relationship cannot improve thanks to some fundamental rules. Collaborate and find an agreement on the direction to give to your relationship. For example, if it is inconceivable for you to go to bed angry, make it one of the rules of your relationship to avoid this danger.
- If you feel the need to control everything your man does, try to set some rules. For example, ask him to go out for just one or two nights with his friends. In this way he will appreciate your mental elasticity and, for your part, you will know when you can count on his presence in the house.
- You can also set some rules on how you communicate. For example, if you are not used to waking up early, determine that the most serious topics should be addressed after breakfast.
Step 3. Set limits
It is a very effective method that will prompt your man to engage in the behavior you want. The first step is to recognize your feelings. This way you will have less difficulty in identifying the aspects that you think are most important in your relationship. Then you will be able to better express your needs.
- For example, suppose your boyfriend is always borrowing money from you. This habit may make you uncomfortable, especially if you don't pay back your money in due time. Set limits by which to determine exactly when and how much they can borrow from you. In addition, he points out that he must return them.
- Make it clear that if certain limits are exceeded, there is a risk that your relationship will fall apart. Specify that it is important to you that they remain unchanged and that you will not be happy if they are not respected.
Part 3 of 3: Benefit from a Romantic Relationship
Step 1. Lead a more intense social life
Many benefits have been shown to come from having a fulfilling love relationship. When you are with someone you automatically feel more involved in the world around you. If there is harmony in the couple, you have the opportunity to talk to your partner about cinema, work, recent events or whatever else comes to mind. All of this helps you feel more in tune with the reality you live in.
If you are more socially involved, you also feel safer and happier. If you live with your partner and have a stable bond with him, your understanding will become even stronger
Step 2. Feel more confident
A healthy relationship leads you to develop a deep-seated sense of security. For example, you know you have someone to celebrate with when you get a big promotion. You also know that you have someone who can offer you comfort when your puppy is gone. The sense of security is essential to one's emotional well-being.
According to some research, stable relationships generate enormous benefits on a woman's mental health. The sense of security that is gained is an essential part of this process
Step 3. Improve your health condition
A loving relationship also offers physical benefits. Those who have a fulfilling relationship tend to be less stressed. When the stress level is low, the risk of suffering from high blood pressure, heart problems or depression also decreases.
Those in a stable and lasting relationship also have the advantage of having a regular sex life. Sex can help improve mood and relieve stress
Advice
- Avoid physically controlling someone. Violence is never a good idea.
- If your partner doesn't meet your needs, consider ending your relationship.
- Don't put pressure on him. Don't let him feel like you're taking his breath away.
- Be considerate of your partner. Show him that you respect his privacy, his life and his individuality.
