Who doesn't want to be seductive and persuasive with the fairer sex? Men who seem to attract women without lifting a finger are among the most envied people in the world. While some are naturally like this (lucky them), it is still an aspect that can be practiced in order to improve. If at this moment you have the same seductive power as sandpaper, fear not: a few little tricks (and lots of exercise) are enough to make this skill yours. Read on to find out how to get started.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Behaving in a Seductive Way
Step 1. Learn to be cheerful
Experts agree on one thing: one of the most attractive traits a man can have is a certain sense of playfulness. It is not difficult to understand why. Talking to people who don't take themselves too seriously and who appreciate the excited and engaging “dance” of a lively conversation is a lot more fun than talking to honest but uninteresting people. When you chat with a woman, add a hint of mischief. Accept any opportunities that come your way to joke, gently tease her, and avoid knowingly understanding what she is saying. If he's in the mood for a lively verbal exchange, talking can be absolutely irresistible.
For example, let's say you went to a party and started talking to a girl. If she tells you that she is from another city and that she will be coming home soon, smiling at her, you can try to tell her: "Are you tired of us already?". When he begins to explain that this is not the case, pretend to be seriously offended, but in the meantime smile to let them know that you are joking. Many react quite well to this delicate and playful teasing (called "flirting" by some)
Step 2. Maintain control over the situation without too much effort
There is a more than valid reason why seductive men are successful with women: These people often have dominant personalities and know how to control (or manage) social situations to derive a benefit. The most seductive and charming ladies of all know how to lead a conversation in the desired direction, without others realizing it.
- The secret is to do it naturally. A person who goes to great lengths to dominate a social interaction is often obviously agitated by the situation, so he can transmit unsettling and confusing signals. Think about it: if you were to find yourself talking to a person who is blatantly trying to surprise you and who is obviously nervous about it, would that attract you? We doubt it.
- Don't waste your time with the “hookup artist” guides that encourage you to use carefully planned strategies of ambiguous compliments and psychological tricks to attract women. Remember: if you basically have to act out a script when talking to a woman, you don't actually exercise natural control over the situation, do you?
Step 3. Don't be an open book
We would have seen him countless times on television and in movies: the quiet, elegant and short-spoken bad boy seems to draw girls to him without even trying (My name is Bond, does James Bond tell you anything?). While popular entertainment can sometimes inspire counterproductive attitudes in the dating world, it has a glimmer of truth at its core. Being cool and discreet can make a man more attractive to women. Try to react in a relaxed way to almost everything that happens around you, as if it were perfectly natural. Feeling comfortable in any context shows how few things are your confidence, and believing in yourself is almost always sexy.
- For the record, this doesn't mean you have to sew your mouth up in every single case. Instead, it means that you should take the opportunity to behave backward and add a touch of mystery to your conversations. See what happens. For example, if a beautiful girl asks you where you live in between, you might say, “Oh, why are you asking me? Did you want to go and see me? ". It seems a bit cheesy, but with such an answer, you don't reveal anything about yourself, and at the same time, you intrigue this woman.
- It is especially important to have a calm reaction to rejection. If you try to strike up a conversation with different types of women at a party, some (or all) of them may not be interested in talking to you. It's not a problem. In front of a two of spades, react calmly, as if you have been pointed out that your shoes are untied.
Step 4. Start touching a girl naturally, but never convey despair
Let's face it: if you're going to seduce a woman, you'll probably want to physically show your interest sooner or later: kissing, having sex or even holding hands (you have to start somewhere!). There is nothing wrong with all of this: healthy, reciprocal displays of affection are wonderful. Keep this in mind when you find yourself in such a situation and want to step forward. Truly seductive men aren't afraid and aren't ashamed to clarify their intentions. Either way, they're not even in need of attention or desperate. Not only is despair anything but attractive to most girls, it also communicates low self-esteem (and charming guys always have high self-esteem).
- For example, you went out with a wonderful woman and, towards the end of the date, you are walking home. If the attraction you feel is strong and you want to take her by the hand, spontaneously grab it as you move through the crowd, as if it were perfectly natural. Don't act like you feel embarrassed or a matter of life or death. Do it like you haven't even thought about the consequences. Does he seem deeply uncomfortable or loosens his grip? You can undoubtedly adapt to the situation and let it go, without creating uncomfortable moments. If she reacts well, hold her tight to you.
- Note: Guys who really know how to seduce aren't creepy. Trying a physical approach as if it were the most natural thing in the world is one thing, harassing a woman or forcefully entering her personal space is another. So, keep your hands in place when you don't need to step forward, otherwise you'll be sporting a nice red hand mark on your cheek for days.
Step 5. Don't put too many expectations on social interactions
Guys who know how to do courtship naturally enjoy seducing. They love to play, engage in intriguing conversations with women. They don't do it just to get what they want. Any success they have in love or dating is a welcome side effect. It's something they love to do: the art of conquest is not a deep agony or a struggle for a coveted prize. When talking to a woman you care about, don't think about the final stage of the interaction. Chat and do what comes naturally to you. If the conversation evolves on its own to something more, that's better. If that doesn't happen, no problem: in any case, you enjoyed yourself.
This is one of the reasons why it's best to steer clear of guides who teach towing and seduction strategies. These tips are often written with only one goal in mind (sex, of course). While these tactics may not necessarily work with all women (they often only work with small subcategories), they will never give you that genuine satisfaction that can only be guaranteed by natural and spontaneous contact with another human being
Step 6. Try to look nice
Everyone likes to have a good laugh. Those with a good sense of humor make others feel good. As a result, if you manage to get a reputation as a funny person, others (including women) will naturally feel attracted to you. Try to look for good opportunities to lighten the situations you live or (gently) make fun of those around you. Almost everyone has the innate ability to be nice when relaxed and with people of their own liking. Either way, if it seems like humor isn't right for you, maybe learn more about it (this guide is a good place to start).
Pay attention to that sense of humor that leads to ferocious self-criticism. While there are exceptional individuals who manage to be sexy even when they make fun of themselves (just think of the male protagonists of Woody Allen's films), it is a risky move for most ordinary people, who, unwittingly, can seem uncomfortable with herself or insecure with this type of approach
Method 2 of 3: Be Cool and Confident
Step 1. Pretend until it comes naturally to you
When you get stressed out by a social situation that puts you under deep pressure, it can be hard to remember that all the people around you don't realize you're nervous until you demonstrate it or say it openly. This means they will never know if you have the right attitude and control your behavior properly. Acting like you're confident usually tricks people into thinking you are. But there's more: it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Usually, acting as if you believe in yourself helps you feel this way, so it will be easier to look like it and create a virtuous circle.
For starters, try to act as if everything you do is natural. Do not hesitate with any decision and do not go into crisis when faced with small and insignificant actions. For example, if you're at a party and want to ask a girl to dance, don't think about it - just do it! Approach the woman you have your eyes on and ask her, "Would you like to dance?" You don't have to do anything else
Step 2. Communicate correctly with body language
Always remember that you need to convey a certain impression, but also start feeling it inside yourself. If you give the idea that you are safe and believe in yourself, on the surface it seems that all of this belongs to you on a deep level: others will not be able to tell the difference. Are you shy or introverted by nature, but want to get seductive? Communicating with confident, dominant (but relaxed) body language can instantly improve the opinion women have. Here are some little tips if you don't know where to start:
- Stand straight, pulling your shoulders back slightly. This position makes your shoulders look wider, allows you to pull your chest out and, in general, improves the appearance of the body.
- Keep your head up. This position makes you look proud, confident and fearless in any situation. Either way, don't look at people from top to bottom - it might sound like you're snobbish or feel superior.
- Don't be afraid to take up the space you deserve. Confident people have no problem taking a relaxed position, and taking all the necessary space. When you sit down, don't be afraid to stretch out and spread your legs slightly apart. When you are with other people in a crowded area, don't flinch if you touch someone by accident.
- Don't cross your arms. It would make you seem closed and inaccessible.
- Don't stare at your cell phone. It would make you seem busy and into something else, and it is a deterrent to others.
Step 3. Use eye contact properly
Confident people are not afraid to look others in the eye (especially if they are attractive and interesting women). Traditionally, there is a very specific reason why looking someone in the eye is synonymous with sincerity. Doing so gives the impression that you are open and attentive, not in awe. On the other hand, avoiding looking someone in the eye can convey an idea of shame or nervousness, or it will appear that you are hiding something, although this is not the case. Try to make eye contact in most cases when talking to someone. in moments of silence, look away for a few seconds and use it to attract the attention of another person who is in that place.
Do not stare or cast mischievous glances at women. Overdoing eye contact can be downright bad. When you talk to a girl, you can definitely look her in the eye in a steady, yet natural way. If you're not chatting, staring at her for more than a few seconds can make her deeply uncomfortable
Step 4. Relax
A quick question: what is the thing you are least comfortable with when you force yourself to do it? If you answered "Relax", you guessed it. Trying to consciously relax is like swimming in sand: the harder you try, the less progress you make. If you find yourself stressed out due to complicated social situations, unfortunately there is no single exact method to get to the point of reassuring yourself in these cases. Everyone relaxes in their own way. However, many succeed by implementing some common tactics, including:
- Minimize the importance of the situation or laugh about it.
- Exercise.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Do breathing exercises.
- Meditate.
Step 5. Get out and live for a while
Imagine what we are about to tell you. You're chatting with a girl you like and acting relaxed (just like a consummate seducer). You don't give information about yourself, you try to intrigue her. Let's say everything runs smoothly until you make an appointment for the weekend. At that point, you start wondering how you will begin to talk to her about yourself. Do you prefer to present yourself as if you were a complex and interesting person or as a guy who does not have many dreams or ambitions, who watches TV and surfs the internet in his spare time? The answer should be obvious. The seducers who know how to do it emphasize their gallant charm, describe interesting lives. They spend their days chasing their passions and trying something new. Making the effort to get out of the house and live will not only make you more attractive, it will also give you the confidence that can only come from a whole range of life experiences.
If you are looking for new hobbies, start with an activity that you are interested in or really enjoy, and try to get good at it. Do you like working with your hands? Start making your own furniture. Do you like music? Choose a cheap tool at a second-hand shop and start practicing. Do you like video games? This too can be a source of interesting experiences if, for example, you participate in video game tournaments or open a dedicated channel on YouTube
Method 3 of 3: Cultivate a Unique Charm
Step 1. Don't be ashamed of your interests
Take a random person and ask her how she would describe a seductive man. Probably, he will answer you like this: “He is well-groomed, handsome, cool, confident, well dressed, with many hobbies and male interests”. While the first five adjectives on this list can certainly be useful in the great game of courtship, the latter feature is sometimes not used for this purpose. Don't feel the need to hide the things you like to do or lie. If you are nerd, you can openly be. If you like something really weird, like watching sentimental, cheesy French movies dating back to the silent film era, don't keep this to yourself. It's really cool to appreciate something unique. Being completely honest about what you enjoy doing in your free time makes you genuine and confident, and makes you stand out from everyone else.
Step 2. Try to approach the opposite sex in the places you usually go to
Clubs, singles bars and other "hot spots" where classic dates are concentrated are ideal for people who feel in their element when the music booms and the alcohol flows freely. For others, it might be easier elsewhere. For starters, try meeting girls in places and events that you like to attend of your own free will. For example, if you enjoy physical activity and being outdoors, you could go for a run in a busy park. With this approach, you will be more likely to meet women with whom you have something in common, while in a nightclub it would be more difficult.
Step 3. Cultivate your own style
We have heard it said thousands of times: "Be yourself and you will go far". This cuckoo-old advice sounds a bit cheesy, but, when it comes to seduction, it's absolutely true. Guys who know how to deal with the opposite sex don't follow the crowd when it comes to defining themselves. They do what they want and present themselves as they like, letting others get the opinion they want. Having a unique and personal style makes you look enormously more interesting and easier to remember, so avoid embodying ideals of popularity that don't belong to you. Not only is being yourself easier than being trendy, it's also smarter in trying to win someone over.
One way to immediately and visibly stand out from others is to dress in your own, non-trivial way (of course, it shouldn't be too crazy either). For example, you can try buying clothes at a thrift or vintage store, so you get a retro look. An alternative is to learn how to make clothing and accessories yourself by knitting or sewing
Step 4. Be open and sincere
To win a woman, the key is to be honest. In most cases, everyone (including girls) can tell a fake person from a genuine one, so trying to act like you're different or hiding your true feelings will only lead to awkward moments for everyone involved. Also, many girls think sincerity is tender, so you have no reason not to be completely honest and open with your thoughts, opinions and intentions. The worst that can happen to you after telling the truth is to miss the opportunity to date someone. However, if I had lied to get you on a date, would you ever be truly happy with this person? Probably not.
- For example, if there are things that turn you off, things that you just can't tolerate in your significant other, surely you need to declare them openly and honestly to your partner (or possible mate). Think about it for a second: would you rather pretend to be a heavy smoker who burps freely and listens to Limp Bizkit for a week or politely end this relationship in the bud?
- Remember that sharing more than necessary is also wrong. Sure, you need to be honest about your thoughts and emotions, but don't create embarrassing situations by bringing up too personal information before you really get to know someone.
Step 5. Love yourself before you love others
You can't love anyone if you don't love yourself. As a result, if you have a very bad opinion of yourself, steer clear of any romantic relationships until you change your mind. In theory, relationships should be the icing on the cake for a happy and fulfilling life. They are indeed wonderful experiences to live, but not necessary to be happy. Seducers always feel at ease also because they are aware of it: whatever happens in the sentimental sphere, their serenity is not affected by this, for better or for worse. To lay a solid foundation for a life together, here are some aspects you should have in your existence:
- A reasonable dose of personal independence (like, for example, being independent and using your free time as you want).
- The opportunity (and motivation) to pursue hobbies and interests.
- Stable and satisfying friendships, without sentimental goals.
- Fulfilling professional and / or personal successes (such as having a job that you do well, being an important member of your community, etc.).
Advice
- Funny jokes or other things that might make her laugh out loud are great for breaking the ice in awkward moments.
- Be sensitive when she talks to you about her past.
- Knowing how to listen, trust and respect are three fundamental factors for starting a relationship with a woman.
- Try to do something nice for her: let her pass first, help her sit down, and generally act like a gentleman. Many love it.
Warnings
- Never wear the same clothes two days in a row. Girls realize this and find it unattractive.
- You certainly won't win a woman over by insulting her and telling her she's fat or ugly. Offenses will get you nowhere.
- Respect women.
- Don't try to be cool at all costs. Some don't like it.
- Respect a woman's boundaries. Don't make her feel like she owns it and has to tell you everything.
- If you respect women, make a conscious effort to avoid swearing in their presence.
- Don't get intimately involved with a busy girl.
- If you don't think you can implement these tips and are having trouble reinventing your look or personality, then maybe this way of being is not for you.
