How do you break the "contact barrier" with a girl you like? It's hard to know when you can touch it and when you are too daring. If you like a girl and the attraction is mutual, you need to start by breaking the contact barrier, then gradually increase the range of physical contact. But how do you manage to touch a girl without sending the wrong message? Read this article to find out!
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Breaking the Contact Barrier
Step 1. Make sure the girl appreciates being touched by you
Before planning your physical contact strategy, you need to be sure your advances are welcome. If she really is attracted to you, she will always stay close to you without running away if you try to touch her, and in general she will let you notice that she appreciates your company. Is he looking you in the eye? Is he smiling, laughing or having a good time? If so, you are on the right track. Here are other ways to figure out if she wants to be touched or not:
Evaluate the way she looks at you. If she likes you, she will hold your gaze for an extended period of time or immediately avert hers. Both signs could mean she likes you. If you happen to turn around to take a look at her and catch her looking at you, then that means she likes you, even if she quickly turns her head in a different direction. If she turns around quickly, it could mean she's nervous, but she likes you
Suggestion:
understand his personality. If she is open and friendly, she is less likely to get angry when you try to touch her. If she's shy or withdrawn, it's good to be more than sure she likes you before you dare.
Step 2. Try touching it lightly and casually
Touch your arm against hers, place your hand gently on her back, or simply pass her a pen or notebook letting your hands touch. Does he retract as if he had just placed his hand on an iron, or does he gladly allow your bodies to caress each other for a moment, smiling at you? If your affection is reciprocated, he will most likely prove favorable to experimenting with your plan to break the contact barrier.
Let the first contact be friendly and casual to test his response type. In this first phase there is still no need for a romantic approach
Step 3. Dwell a little longer
If the casual approach works, then you can try more prolonged physical contact next time. Place your hand on her back for a few seconds, not just to give her right of way at the door. Try to keep your hand on her back for an additional couple of seconds while offering her an eraser. If your knees or legs brush under the table, don't retract them immediately, but stay in that position for a few moments.
This will allow the girl to get used to more intimate and lasting physical contacts, and at the same time will give you the opportunity to have a clearer perception of her reactions
Part 2 of 5: Behaving like a gentleman
Step 1. Look for opportunities to break the "contact barrier" chivalrously when you are together
This will offer you an excuse to touch her by passing as a gentleman who only cares about her well-being. However, make sure that she is the kind of girl who appreciates this type of gesture and that you are not too old-fashioned. Be his rider on the white horse. Once you are on a real date or dating as a couple, you should look for a chance to be a true gentleman and be able to touch her.
Step 2. Keep her jacket
If you're both about to leave and she needs to put your jacket or coat back on, keep it like a gentleman so she can slip her arms down her sleeves. Her delicate fingers will touch yours. If she responds positively and you notice that her hair is between her jacket and her back, gently pull it out.
Likewise, you can help her take off her jacket early in the evening, whether you've invited her to your house for an intimate dinner or you've gone out to a restaurant
Step 3. Offer her your hand
This is especially useful when he may need to balance, for example when he is getting out of or out of the car, or when he is avoiding a puddle or any other uneven surface. This is greatly appreciated, because it shows that you think about her and not just yourself. It is probably more appropriate if she is dressed well or is wearing high heels.
Again, make sure she's not the kind of girl who thinks you're offering her hand just because she can't do that thing on her own
Step 4. Extend your arm to support her
This will be an invitation for her to put her arm around yours, especially if you are about to walk together. This is a classic romantic way to walk as a couple, without being too clingy. You should do this after you've already had a nice evening together and enjoying yourself. Whichever way you passed your date, going out for a walk is a fantastic display of mutual affection.
If this is your first time trying this approach or this type of physical contact, avoid ending up in crowded and crowded streets where you could both run into someone you know. Find a more intimate and private place
Step 5. Ladies first
Open the door and allow it to pass first. A nice gesture would be to press your hand just above the waist, in the direction of the door (or hallway), while saying "After you". Other points to press would be the back of the arm, just above the elbow (especially recommended if she is wearing short sleeves), or very gently and carefully on the shoulder.
While it's a nice thing to let girls go first, avoid overdoing physical contact while doing this, or they'll end up believing that you're only doing this to take advantage of the situation
Step 6. Lead the way
If you are about to go through a large crowd, hold her hand so that you can lead her through the crowd without getting lost. This shows not only that you take care of her, but also that you can take the initiative. Once you are out of the clutter you can continue holding her hand (if she seems to like it).
Holding hands is considered a big step by many girls. If you don't feel like doing it the first time you try it, don't be discouraged - they may want to wait to be a real couple before they can actually walk hand-in-hand, especially in public
Part 3 of 5: Finding Excuses to Touch it
Step 1. Take something off her face or hair
It is not uncommon to see an eyelash above someone's face, particularly around the cheeks. If you see one, tell her "Don't move. You have an eyelash on your face." Remove it from her face very gently. Don't press too hard, especially if she's wearing makeup. Do the same if you see something in your hair.
- Obviously, don't spend the whole evening staring at her face waiting for the right moment to find a misplaced eyelash. If you find it, however, it's all good!
- You can also lie. Tell her she has something in her hair, even though she doesn't actually have anything, and break the "contact barrier" like this.
- With some things, like a piece of food on your face or hair, it could be embarrassing, so you need to decide whether or not to do it. Some women will be mortified, others will find it funny.
Step 2. Compliment her hands or a piece of jewelry she wears
A different ring, a new haircut or a different color? Point it out ("This ring is beautiful" or "Did you get a new polish on your nails?"). Try to grab her hand with the excuse of looking at the color closely. Point out everything new and ask her a question or a positive comment. If she has new earrings, take one in her hand and point out how beautiful it is. Remember that you should only use this type of technique if you have already had the opportunity to touch it in some previous release; getting to touch her face is a rather intimate thing.
As you do this, try to figure out whether or not she likes you to hold her hand. After her response, gently rub her hand with your thumb and let her go. Smile and move on with the evening, but make sure it happens naturally
Step 3. Keep it warm
If it's cold outside or you notice that she is cold or shivering, offer her your coat. Put it over your shoulders. Depending on the atmosphere that has built up, you may be vigorously rubbing her arms with your hands to generate some heat. If you notice that her hands are cold, ask her to give you her hands and put them together (palm to palm). Wrap their hands with yours and rub them gently but quickly to warm them.
If you're feeling bold, put your hands to your mouth and blow some hot air
Step 4. Behave in a playful manner
If you're both kidding, it's okay to give each other gentle pat on the arm or playful taps on the shoulder. If, on the other hand, you are flirting, then it is natural for both of you to touch, as long as you both do. She might even be the one who lets herself go the most in the game of touching herself. If you are both involved in this intimate atmosphere of teasing and cuddling, then this kind of physical approach is completely normal.
Being playful is perfect if you are doing it together. If you find that she doesn't appreciate this kind of behavior, and you're the only one seeking physical contact, then it's time to step back
Step 5. Note his actions
If she has responded positively to all of this, make your next move (or you risk being trapped in the friend zone forever). You could put your arm around her shoulder or waist while holding her hand. The nape and the back are two equally sensitive areas.
Step 6. Find out if she is not interested
If they don't respond positively to these actions, simply back off. It doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Maybe she's just in a bad mood or she might be tired. However, if you've tried more than once and you always get the same answer, she probably has no interest in being touched by you.
Part 4 of 5: Try Touching it during a Physical Activity
Step 1. Dance
Any kind of couple dance like salsa, tango and so on can be a good way to break the contact barrier. However, keep in mind that just because she seems to have a good feeling while dancing with you doesn't necessarily mean she likes you off the dance floor. However, this is a good start.
Step 2. Ice skating
Ice skating is a great activity to encourage casual physical contact. You can reach out to keep her from falling, if she's not good enough, guide her, or help each other by skating backwards. In a cold environment there is also the possibility to help her stay warm by wrapping her in a hug or handing her the jacket.
Step 3. Tennis
You can form a team. There will be plenty of opportunities to high-five and playfully touch her after a good shot. At the end, you can even touch her back or shoulder and compliment her on the good game. Just keep in mind that she may have been sweating while exercising and not appreciate being touched very often during the match.
Step 4. Try any activity where the required equipment requires you to hold it from behind
For example, you can try a motorcycle ride, a descent from a snowy hill with a sled or inner tubes, jump together with the parachute, etc. Take her to play mini golf if you know how to juggle with a golf club in hand. There are so many activities that involve mandatory physical contact between you!
Part 5 of 5: Things to Avoid
Step 1. Do not approach a girl to massage her shoulders, even if she complains of being sore or tired
It is not necessarily an invitation to be massaged by you. It might as well be, but don't risk it unless you are sure you understand the signs correctly. Getting a massage from someone she doesn't like can be really unpleasant for a girl, and you're just putting her in the bad position of asking you to stop.
If you find that your massage is causing tension rather than making her relax, it means that you have already gone too far
Step 2. Avoid grabbing her arm with your hand to pull her forcing her to come somewhere with you
At best this can be considered annoying. At worst it can come off as an attempt to tear off his arm. In general, any kind of "tirade" could make you appear immature or intrusive.
There is a big difference between jokingly pulling yourself to where you want to go, and grabbing the girl in a way that seems violent and inappropriate
Advice
- Always try to keep your hands clean and dry. If you smell the onion you were cutting a couple of hours ago, this is not good. If you tend to get sweaty hands, wipe them with a dry paper towel before touching his. Avoid having cold hands, this will make her wince. If this happens, address the situation with a joke, this can help break the ice.
- Be kind and thoughtful every time you touch her. The smartest thing to do is to ask for a hug when you say goodbye or brush her hand when you are together. If she doesn't like it you will be able to figure it out.
- Be brave. More confidence = better reaction.
- Even the gentlest touch won't work if she's annoyed or disinterested. Keep the conversation lively and make sure you both have a good time.
- Some women feel uncomfortable being touched until they establish a relationship. If you're interested in seeing her again, take it easy and go step by step or she'll get scared.
- Tickling a girl is innocent enough. But you can do it with friends, not with someone you have recently known.
- Some people don't like being touched, especially when on a first date. Go step by step or your relationship may end before it begins.
- You might try to touch her arm or hand when she says something funny, if she responds positively, you can touch her leg or possibly hold her hand after a while.
- When you first meet a girl, try holding her hand. This will get both of you accustomed to contact with each other.
Warnings
- You may think that you are playing it safe and being respectful by avoiding contact unless it starts with her, but this strategy makes you run the risk of ending up in the "friend-zone", from which it is difficult to escape. For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is how they touch each other. There are more platonic ways to touch someone. Learn to read body language, and if you see a sign in her body language telling you to back off, respect her boundaries and feelings by refraining from further contact.
- If she says she needs to leave early or needs to use the bathroom shortly after initiating some form of physical contact, she may not have appreciated the gesture or you have made her uncomfortable. In some cases it could be shyness after physical contact; try to be really confident before continuing with more intense physical contact.
- Try not to be too pushy or clingy if you feel negative vibes.
- Different cultures have different degrees of receptivity to physical contact. In Korea, holding hands means a lot and hugging or kissing someone in public is considered unacceptable, but doing the same thing in Latin America is taken for granted. In Bulgaria, giving a girl a goodbye hug is just as normal as shaking hands in other places. Know the cultural context and act accordingly.
- Note that some people are very affectionate with their friends. A girl may be all cuddling with you and think she's just friendly, while you think you're getting mixed signals.
