Even the most experienced speaker can be nervous when it comes to giving the speech as a best man at a wedding. It is one of the greatest honors you can receive in that kind of situation, and everyone expects your speech to respect that honor, to stir emotions in the audience listening to you, and to be a tribute to the special couple on the most important day. important of their life. The important things in this type of speech is to thank everyone for their presence, describe the relationship that binds you to the groom, and make the guests laugh while trying to avoid comments that can lead to embarrassing moments. If you want to know how to write a wedding witness speech that is exciting and memorable, read on.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Write a Special Speech
Step 1. Try to just be yourself and don't worry about being too formal if it doesn't really represent your character
While it is important to follow certain conventions relating to the circumstance, what matters most is that you are able to stick to the relationship that binds you to the spouse - although, of course, you will make sure that it is not a version for everyone rather than "forbidden to minors. ". You will need to find the right balance between the serious and the facetious, but in the end, what really matters is that the words you say are heartfelt and genuinely sincere.
- For example, almost all speeches have a little humor to add a touch of frivolity and engage the attention of the guests more. But if it doesn't fit your strings, and the jokes seem too tight or otherwise out of place, you don't need to follow this "rule".
- However, if you are known for your humor and sarcasm, you don't have to force yourself to be overly sentimental. A few genuinely loving words would still make the message clear, without making you feel out of place.
- If public speaking isn't your thing, don't be intimidated. You can even joke about it, perhaps saying that this is the groom's way of taking revenge for something you have done to him in the past.
Step 2. Keep it short
There is no need to simply say "Congratulations" or to be too succinct, but it would be good not to digress too far. You are not the star of the day. In general, the speech should last between 2 and 4 minutes, the time it takes to say what you hear and nothing more. Most people would start to lose their temper after 5 minutes. In any case, the bride and groom may already have an idea of how long it should last, so don't hesitate to ask them.
- Although you have to prepare the speech in advance, take a look at your "audience"; if your guests are particularly impatient or can't wait to drink or dance, you may need to skip that second anecdote you weren't very sure about.
- Although the wedding witnesses and bridesmaid speech is a tradition, it is possible that other people may want to attend as well. The bride's father may want to talk, and it's possible there are two bridesmaids, so two speeches. Also, there may even be a drunk uncle who will try to say a few words. All this to say that, if more speeches are planned, it is particularly important to try to be brief, so that the guests do not spend the whole evening listening to people talking.
Step 3. Write the speech in advance and practice the presentation
The sooner you can finish it, the more time you will have to practice and perfect it, which will also allow you to gain enough confidence to pronounce it fearlessly in front of everyone. Don't think about improvising it on the spot, it would be a really bad idea; you might say something you'll regret later on or you might completely lose your train of thought. Instead, it is important to prepare it well in advance so that you can complete it without any hitch.
Don't be afraid to carry a written copy with you for when it's time to get up for your big time. Even if you don't use it as a reference, just having it there with you will give you more confidence
Step 4. Seek inspiration
If you're really struggling, don't be afraid to go to sites like YouTube and check out the thousands of speeches people have filmed and posted there. You may get some ideas you might not have thought of just by sitting down trying to write something. You can do an online search for examples, or perhaps ask relatives or friends who have already had this type of experience if they can give you some advice or even a copy of what they themselves had written for the circumstance.
Part 2 of 2: Deliver the Speech
Step 1. Try to be sober enough and do a good job
Although every wedding is different, the best man gives his speech usually at some point during the dinner, when the guests are all seated and "still" able to turn their attention to the speaker. This means that hours can pass between the end of the ceremony and the time you need to get up in front of everyone. There may also be a cocktail time, but it can be a long time before you are called into the microphone anyway. It also means that you need to be able to refrain from drinking too much or you will end up embarrassing yourself. Once your speech is finished, you will be free to let yourself go for a while.
Remember that the moment of the speech is often resumed. You don't want to be immortalized in one of your worst conditions for all eternity
Step 2. Ask for the attention of the guests
You may find yourself in front of a boisterous audience and you may need to tap your glass with a cutlery a couple of times, or maybe wait for the guests to silence before you can start talking. Since the first thing you will do is introduce yourself, it is important that people are listening, so that they know who the hell you are and how you are connected to the spouse. Just say something like, "Ladies and gentlemen, I would appreciate your attention."
Depending on how the reception is going, someone else might introduce you and so you wouldn't need to do it yourself. However, be ready in case you are given the microphone and find that your audience is not immediately hanging on your lips
Step 3. Introduce yourself
The first thing you should do is tell the guests who you are. While it is perfectly possible that many at this point in the evening already know who you are, it is still important that you say who you are and what your bond with the bride and groom is. Not everyone present is likely to know you, so you should introduce yourself, tell how you met the bride and groom and how long you have known them. Even if you haven't memorized the whole speech, memorizing the first few bars will allow you to start on a natural note. Here are some simple tips on how to introduce yourself:
- "For those who don't know me, I'm Luigi, [bridegame's] little brother."
- "I'm Giorgio, [bridegame's] best friend. We've been friends since middle school, and I've known [bridegame] since their second date."
- "I'm Giacomo, [bridegame's] best friend. I've known the couple since we were freshmen at university. We lived in the same building."
Step 4. Express gratitude
While it's traditional to thank the people who paid for the wedding, usually the bride's parents, do it discreetly anyway. Don't thank them for "paying" for the celebration, but rather for helping to make it possible. You can also make some comments of appreciation in relation to the wedding and the reception venue, and on how much everyone is having a good time. Keep in mind, however, that nowadays, families of the newlyweds often split the costs of the wedding, so don't neglect whoever attended to make it possible.
- It is also nice to thank the guests for their participation.
- If you want, you can also thank the bridesmaids of the bride. Mention how friends they have always been to the bride and compliment them on their looks. You can use it as a moment to win some smiles, while avoiding overdoing it and causing embarrassment. You can say something about the color of the clothes, how precious they were during the ceremony, and anything you can think of as long as it's short and tasteful.
Step 5. Make a funny joke at the bridegroom's expense
A good groomsman usually shares a nice anecdote or joke involving the groom, giving everyone an idea of his character. If you want to make a classic but funny joke you could quote Oscar Wilde's phrase "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence". Or, avoiding being offensive, you could joke about how shy / easy-going / perfectionist the groom is. Better still if it is a trait that others can recognize, so that your joke is understood by everyone.
- Keep in mind that some of the guests present may not know the other. People should be able to find your speech nice and exciting without necessarily knowing the groom or having to listen to tons of details about someone they don't know. Of course, if it's a ceremony for a few close friends, and the guests actually all know each other, then you could go into more detail if you wanted.
- If you are the brother of the groom, you can joke about how much he made fun of you when you were little, or how much you made him despair. You can also make a few jokes about the fact that the situation hasn't changed much since then.
- Remember to maintain a pleasantly emotional balance. You should aim to have as many sweet, sentimental comments about the groom as the jokes.
Step 6. Tell a particularly touching story about the groom
The main part of your speech should be a story about the groom, and possibly the bride as well. While the purpose of the story is to give the speech a more personal touch, it avoids recalling unpleasant details from the past. He should be able to show how groom and bride are made for each other, or why one personality is perfect for the other. Here are some tips:
- Tell a funny anecdote. Not only will it break the formality of the ceremony, but it will also ensure that the couple is appreciated even more by the guests. A great way to get everyone's attention could be by starting with something like, "I'm about to reveal a secret about the groom" … or "the groom begged me not to tell you this story during my speech, but there is none. 'I did, I really have to tell you about it ".
- Alternatively, tell a touching story. An appropriate anecdote could describe how the couple met, or a particularly tender moment that led to both of them consolidating their relationship. Since you are the best friend of the groom, you could take the opportunity to tell the guests the experience of witnessing his falling in love with the bride.
- If you can't find an appropriate story or you don't know the bride enough to include her in one, make a few remarks about love or marriage in general, or perhaps a few comments about the groom's feelings for his new wife. Even if you haven't spent a lot of time with the bride, you could tell about the first time the groom told you about her, or what he told you after their first date.
Step 7. Avoid any sensitive topics
While you may think it's fun to joke about the groom's exes or to talk about that night he spent at the police station for being drunk … the groom, bride, and their family members won't find him at all sympathetic. Your jokes should be harmless and tasteful, and maybe a little more "pushy" if you are absolutely sure that the public, including spouses, will really appreciate them.
- Even if you want to choose funny stories, make sure they are appropriate for everyone present; the last thing you want is to give the impression that you are a rude and indifferent person.
- If you mention the time the bride and groom broke their engagement for three weeks or let yourself go to comments like how funny the groom was before he got "stuck"… it could be something the bride would never forgive you. Of course, you don't want to ruin your relationship, or put them in a position to doubt your friendship, because of some nonsense that you could have avoided saying in your speech.
- Don't even talk about how much you disliked your friend's wife and later change your mind by getting to know her better.
- And finally, Not think it's fun to talk bad about the reception venue or the food they serve. Someone has paid handsomely for what you think look like Christmas decorations or for that chicken that looks like rubber.
Step 8. Dwell on the virtues of the bridegroom
For example, you might talk about how loyal, compassionate a person is, or that you know perfectly well how much he loves the bride and that he will be a great husband. In a way, you can think of yourself as a salesman trying to sell the groom to the bride's relatives, who may not know him as well as you do. Let everyone know how important your relationship is to you, how much it has helped you in the past, or how you couldn't have gotten through a particularly difficult time in your life without her support.
- You can talk about something the groom has done for you. For instance. "I will never forget that time Marco helped me move to another city to help me pursue my dream. I could never have done it without him."
- It is normal to feel a little embarrassed. Either way, it's a special day for your friend and no one will laugh at you for a bit of sentimentality.
Step 9. Don't forget to pay homage to the bride
You don't want to give the impression that you don't know why this wonderful friend of yours has decided to marry her. In fact, you might even talk about how much calmer / happier / open he has become since meeting her. You could say something like: "Since Giorgio met Elena, his tendency to be too picky and worry about every little thing has started to fade …".
If you don't know her very well, that's not a problem. Instead of saying it brazenly, you could opt for "Although I didn't see her very much, I knew right away that Elena was the right girl for Giorgio"
Step 10. Express your congratulations on the relationship of the spouses
This can give a nice finishing touch to the end of your speech, especially if you enjoyed teasing the groom. There are countless ways to celebrate their relationship: you can highlight their affinities, you can talk about how they manage to work as a team, the balance they are able to achieve, or you can simply say that you just have to look at them to understand how much are in love with each other.
- You could say something like, "Even when the bride and groom are on opposite sides of a room, I can very well sense their gazes at each other. They don't need to be glued together to feel the incredible strength that holds them together."
- You can also make an observation that you admire their relationship and have always been looking for a love as strong as theirs (if you are still single of course). If you are married, you can share some thoughts about marriage and why you think spouses are made for each other.
- However, remember that any comments you make need to be spontaneous. You can simply point out the strength of their relationship, without necessarily dwelling on the rest … especially if it wasn't genuinely what you think.
Step 11. Conclude with a quote
While it may not be necessary, quotes can be a useful intermediate between talking about the bride and groom and proposing a toast. You can search online for inspiration or end up with one of the more common phrases like "Marriage is not about finding a person to live with, it's about finding the person you can't live without." You can adapt it to the bride and groom if possible.
Don't force yourself to do this unless you find one that fits the situation perfectly. For example there is another that says "Marriage is not looking at each other; it is looking together in the same direction"
Step 12. Offer a toast
Wishing the couple to get the most out of their life together is the most important part of the conversation. This wish should conclude your speech and involve everyone. Raise your glass of champagne and politely ask all guests to toast to the happiness of the new couple.
- You could say something like: "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to propose a toast to Giorgio and Elena. May they have years of joy, happiness and health together."
- Or "To a life of happiness for the newlyweds"
- If the bride has taken her husband's surname, you could propose a toast in honor of "Mr. and Mrs. Prestifilippo"
Advice
- If possible, try to make a sincere and funny speech. A little refined humor goes well with any kind of speech, and the witness is no exception. A clever joke is great for breaking the ice at the beginning of the speech, and a little humor is always welcome after a moving and sentimental story.
- Bring notes in case you forget part of the speech. It is not a good idea to read it entirely from the paper, but brief notes can help you not to lose the thread, especially in the most important points.
- Look for examples of other witness speeches on the internet; you will get an idea of what is expected of you. Try not to copy - your spontaneous words will be better than any prepackaged speech.
- If you want to be a little original, you could use slides during the speech, or some object that played an important role in their story.
- Give lots of compliments. Sometimes a compliment and a smile are more successful than a joke.
- A short poem (4 or 5 lines) dedicated to the couple will be welcome.
- Remember to use mints, as you'll be talking to tons of people at the wedding.
Warnings
- Unless you know all the guests and relatives very well, the speech must never be over the top. Avoid lewd jokes, pushy honeymoon references, and hot stories about exes. It would be totally out of place, you're not giving a speech in a locker room. While the groom and his friends might appreciate the pushed anecdotes, the bride and her mother would certainly resent it. You wouldn't be to blame for a formal, sentimental or a little boring speech, but if you spoil the mood with dirty jokes, embarrassing the bride, no one could ever forgive you… especially her. If you are in doubt about the good taste of a joke, don't use it.
- Don't try to be witty at all costs. If you don't like public speaking and aren't a talented comedian, it's best to focus on a more serious and formal speech. Also, most of the jokes you find on the internet or in books like "The Best Wedding Jokes" aren't funny at all. Nobody will be mad if you don't give an Oscar Night speech, but don't embarrass everyone by turning into Michael Scott from the show "The Office".
- Stay sober until you have given the speech. Presenting yourself drunk in front of everyone would question your seriousness and consequently, also that of the groom.
