Acting politely, having respect and consideration for others, will help you have better social relationships with the people you know and with those you will meet. Here's how to cultivate good manners.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Basic Label
Step 1. Courtesy exercises
Always try to say "please" and "thank you" when necessary. People tend to notice when you are courteous and respectful towards them.
Also, if you have to "collide" with someone, or if you have to move away from a place where you are in company, remember to say "I'm sorry" or "I'm sorry"
Step 2. Keep the doors open for others
You don't have to be "usher". If someone walks in the door shortly after you, stop for a moment and hold the door open as you say, "After her, Lord!" But only if it is a stranger, otherwise, use the name instead of "Sir" - or "Lady".
If you are unsure whether the other person would appreciate this gesture, ask politely, "Can I hold the door for you?" This will give the person in question a way to accept or reject
Step 3. Speak politely
Keep a suitably low tone of voice, allowing people to hear you. Don't use slang words.
- Don't discuss crude topics like body functions, gossip, dirty jokes, swear words, or anything you don't want your mom to hear.
- Do not interrupt another person while they are talking. Strive to be a good listener and to speak at the right time.
Step 4. Give up your seat on public transport
If you are on a crowded train or bus and notice that someone has difficulty standing (such as an elderly person, pregnant woman, or someone carrying heavy loads), offer them your seat.
Step 5. Congratulate someone who has graduated, passed an exam, or in the case of a marriage or birth
Or, more simply, congratulate those who have done something worthy of praise.
Be sporty and congratulate your opponents and teammates. This also applies to other types of competitions (not just sports)
Step 6. Try to drive in a polite and courteous manner
Having good manners when you are behind the wheel may seem old-fashioned, but in reality it is also a question of safety. Try following these tips:
- When you get to an intersection where another driver seems undecided about which way to go, ask him to pass in front of you.
- Give way to pedestrians. And try to make room for motorcyclists. Remember that your vehicle is much heavier than a motorcycle (or bicycle), making it potentially more dangerous for others. So, as you drive, remember that you are responsible for the safety of others.
- Use the arrows, even if you think no one is around: you never know, a cyclist or a pedestrian could suddenly appear.
Step 7. Greet people appropriately
Whether you are in a formal or informal situation, acknowledging the presence of another person is a key part of having good manners - otherwise it can be seen as an insult in most cases. Here's what to do:
- If you are greeting someone you know, such as a family member or close friend, a casual greeting will suffice. For example: "Hey, how are you doing?"
- If you greet an elder or an acquaintance, stick to a formal greeting. Greet the other person using the title "Sir" or "Lady". Avoid greetings like "Hey" or "Hello", and try to use full sentences, for example: "Hi Mrs. Bianchi, how are you today?". It might be appropriate.
- Depending on the degree of knowledge, choose whether to offer a hand, a hug or any other type of gesture together with the greeting. For more formal greetings, a handshake is appropriate, but if the person you're greeting formally tries to hug or kiss you, accept it gracefully.
Step 8. The presentations
If you are in the company of two people who do not know each other, it is your responsibility to make the necessary introductions. To do this correctly follow these procedures:
- You will have to introduce the person of "lower" rank to the "superior" one; for example, if you have to introduce your friend (Giorgio) to an older relative (grandfather Mario): "Nonno Mario, this is Giorgio". Some guidelines could be to introduce men to women, lay people to clergy, etc. If you feel confused, rely on your own judgment.
- After the greetings, offer some information about the people; going back to the previous example you could proceed in this way: "I met Giorgio attending the same school". This is to ensure that a short conversation can arise, avoiding awkward silences.
- When you are introduced, greet the other person with eye contact and use a phrase like "How are you?" or "It's a pleasure to meet you", giving him your hand.
Step 9. Introduce yourself appropriately
Whether you're going to school, work, or just grocery shopping, good manners will go unnoticed if you're not well looked after. Shower every day, care for your hair, skin, nails and clothes as much as possible. Wear clean, freshly laundered clothes that are appropriate for the situations you are in.
Step 10. Write thank-you letters
When you receive a gift or something particularly appreciated, remember to send a thank you note within a few days.
Remember that you could send a thank you email; this is appropriate on some occasions, for example in a work environment, or when the recipient is so far away that an email would be more convenient
Method 2 of 3: On the Phone
Step 1. Use your phone only on appropriate occasions
For example, it is rude to use it in the bathroom, at a meeting, in church and sometimes on public transport. If you feel observed by the people around you, this is probably not the right time.
- When talking on the phone in a public place, remember that others hear you - keep your voice level appropriate. A well-behaved person will not talk about potentially embarrassing matters or private matters in public.
- When on the phone, avoid talking to other people in the room. It's a really annoying thing when the person you're talking to on the phone doesn't know if you're talking to them or someone close to you. To make it clear to your neighbors that you can't talk to them at that moment, just point to the phone.
- Avoid using the computer while on the phone, unless absolutely necessary: it is very annoying for those on the other side of the handset not to receive answers and to hear the clicking of the keyboard.
- When you are in a social context, try not to use your cell phone. It is a gesture that may indicate that you do not like the company and want to be on the other side.
- It is polite not to call before 8 in the morning or after 8 in the evening. Avoid phone calls during mealtimes or when you know the person you're calling might be at work or school. This also applies to texting.
Step 2. Make sure the number is correct
If you happen to call the wrong number, be polite and apologize to the person you bothered unnecessarily. On the other hand, if you are the one receiving the wrong call, be polite to point out that they have the wrong number.
Step 3. Check your voice
Your tone of voice reflects your character and personality even on the phone. Remember that the listener cannot see you - try to speak in a pleasant tone and clearly. If your voice is pleasant you will make a positive impression.
Step 4. Practice courtesy and conversation
When they answer your phone, don't be rude, you might need a favor. Try not to give the wrong impression before you even begin. Remember that you called, introduce yourself and ask about the person you want to talk to.
Step 5. Give people a chance to answer the phone
They could be out in the garden, busy in the kitchen, or just away from the phone.
Step 6. Don't spend hours chatting on the phone
Not everyone likes it, try to be concise and not to disturb.
Step 7. Learn to answer the phone
Just a "hello" or a "hello". Avoid pompous or useless phrases, and if in doubt, use common sense.
If the call is for someone else, use a phrase like "One moment please", then pass the phone to the person concerned, and if they are not present apologize to the person who is calling and assure them that you will get them back as soon as possible
Method 3 of 3: At the Table
Step 1. Don't chew with your mouth open
It may seem like an obvious rule, but it's easy to forget while enjoying a delicious meal.
Step 2. Apologize every time you have to walk away from the table
Step 3. Ask politely for what you need
For example, if you need salt, instead of reaching for it by passing your arm in front of other diners, ask politely if they can pass it to you.
Step 4. Do not rest your elbows on the table during a meal
It is a rule as old as that of not chewing with your mouth open, but it is always good to remember it; It is acceptable to lean with the elbows on the table only if the meal has not yet started or if it is finished.
Step 5. Learn to handle situations according to the degree of formality
One of the most common fears is that of not knowing how to use the right cutlery depending on the course. Here are some small tips that may come in handy:
- Usually the rule when setting the table is to place the appropriate cutlery for the dish, proceeding from the outermost one to the one closest to the plate.
- If you're not sure, instead of panicking, watch what other diners are doing.
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At an informally set table, the plate should be in the center.
- Immediately to the left of the plate there should be the two forks, of which the one closest to the plate will be the one you will need to use throughout the meal, while the other is the one for the appetizer.
- To the right of the plate is placed the knife with the blade facing the plate. Next to it you might find two spoons, one for soup (the one on the far right) and the other for dessert (the one in the center).
- The glass will be placed at the same height as the knife. Other glasses can be placed to the right of the first.
- Sometimes you can find a small salad plate placed to the left of the forks.
- You may find a small bread plate, positioned to the left of the main dish, along with a small butter knife. Use this cutlery to take the butter, place it on the saucer and then spread it on the bread.
- A spoon or small dessert fork could be arranged horizontally on top of the plate.
- The cup and saucer for coffee or tea are usually placed to the right of the glass.
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Learn to manage a formal environment; it is quite similar to the previous one, except for a few small details:
- Between the main fork and the plate you may find a small fork to use for fish dishes.
- To the right of the plate, between the knife and the spoon, you will find the fish knife.
- To the right of the cutlery and plate, if oysters are being served, a small fork suitable for this dish will be placed.
- The glasses change according to the formality with which the table is set. The first glass, the one placed above the knife, is the one for water, on its right you will find the glass for red and white wine, and finally a small glass for the digestive.
Have Good Manners Step 16 Step 6. Knowing how to hold cutlery
Mainly there are two ways, depending on the origin, both of which are appropriate for formal occasions:
- The American style: use the knife with your right hand (left hand if you are left handed) to cut the food, and when you are done place the knife on the edge of the plate with the blade facing inwards, then use the fork to bring the mouth food.
- The continental style: fork in the left hand (in the right if you are left handed), and use the knife in the right hand. Once you have cut the bite and taken it with the fork, using the knife, while you bring the fork to your mouth you can choose whether to hold the knife in your hand or place it on the edge of the plate.
Have Good Manners Step 17 Step 7. How to lay the cutlery
The way you place the cutlery on the plate tells the service staff if you have finished eating or intend to continue. To better understand the next tips, imagine the plate as a clock face.
- If you are finished eating, place the knife and fork (the knife blade facing the fork) in the center of the plate so that the cutlery handles are facing three and four o'clock.
- If you want to continue eating, place the knife and fork near the center of the plate with the handle of one of the two cutlery at eight and the other at four.
Advice
- Start showing good manners to your parents. They will be delighted.
- When you are in school do your homework, study and pay attention in the classroom, treat your teacher as you would like to be treated; remember that he is your ally and not your enemy and that he is there to help you and educate you to have a better future.
- Start the day with positivity. Treat everyone you meet as you would like to be treated. Remember that smiles are contagious. Greet your colleagues at work or school when you arrive or when you leave.
- When you talk to someone on the phone, give them time to talk and show a genuine interest in what they have to say.
- Some think that being polite is a synonym for untruth, but they don't realize that good manners make social interactions easier and more enjoyable.
- Don't be intimidated or embarrassed if any of your friends make fun of you after seeing you open the door to a girl or help an elderly person; rather ask him why he didn't do the same.
- Don't confuse good manners with being a big balloon.
- Good manners will never go out of style.
- If you receive a gift, shake the giver's hand.
- Be modest.
- Always keep calm. When you get angry at someone, try to keep your voice low as you present your arguments.
- Don't make fun of other people; even if others do, you could hurt their feelings.
- If you cough, sneeze (or other unavoidable body noises), apologize. Laughing at others' bad manners, such as a burp, will make you look rough and rude.
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