Can't tell if you're really in love? There are many ways to understand this. The biological processes underlying love cause physical side effects and subtle changes in behavior. By paying attention to the attitude you have with her and the interactions you exchange, you can tell if you are in love.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Analyzing Your Feelings
Step 1. Ask yourself what your opinion is about your partner
Of course, thinking about your feelings for her can help you figure out if you are in love. It won't always be that easy, though. In addition to considering traditional factors, such as butterflies in the stomach, try to notice what you think of her as a person.
- Do you think he is a special person? When you are in love, you have a tendency to take the positive qualities of your partner to extremes and to ignore or neglect the negative ones. If you were in love, you would think your partner is objectively special and stands out among all other people.
- Do you find that you miss your partner a lot, even if you are only apart for short periods of time? When two people love each other, especially in the early stages of a relationship, they would like to always be together. Therefore, the more you miss a person, the stronger your feelings for them are. Think about how long you would like to be with your partner when she is away. This will allow you to understand if you are in love or not.
- Do you appreciate his company? It may sound strange to you, but there are many who have passionate relationships with people they really don't like. If you were in love, you would think your partner has a pleasant personality. An underlying friendship, or at least mutual esteem, are important prerequisites for love.
Step 2. Are you rejoicing in your partner's achievements?
If you were in love, you should sincerely hope that your partner will be successful. You would feel proud of his personal triumphs.
- People often feel inferior to the successes of others, even of close friends, but this sense of inferiority does not present itself towards the person you love.
- You should feel happiness about your partner's successes, even if you have experienced recent failures or have never had great personal triumphs. This is one of the things that binds two people in love. You should enjoy his victories as if they were your own.
Step 3. Ask yourself if your partner influences your decisions
People in love most often base their decisions on their partner. This not only applies to important choices, such as changing careers or moving to a new city, but even the smallest decisions could be influenced by your partner's tastes.
- When you are in love, even the actions you take every day would make you think of your partner. For example, when you get dressed before going out in the morning, you might choose the dress you think she likes best.
- If you were in love, you would be willing to try new things to meet your partner's interests. For example, you may develop a sudden interest in hiking in the mountains if she likes it, even if you've never been a nature lover. You may decide to watch movies and listen to music that doesn't fit into your favorite genres just because they are of interest to her.
Step 4. Think ahead
Love is felt in the long run. When you think about your future, for example you dream of getting a new job or moving to a city that appeals to you, you should include your partner in your plans.
- If you want to have children, do you ever think you have any with your partner? Have you ever wondered if she would be a good mom? Can you imagine having children with a different person or just with her? Have you ever talked about having children in the future? In this case, it could be love.
- Do you plan to grow old with your partner? Do you like the idea that you can grow old side by side? Do you imagine distant events, such as retirement and your 50th anniversary?
- When making important decisions about your future, do you evaluate your partner's preferences? Can you imagine moving to a new city or changing jobs without his support or presence?
Step 5. Assess what you think about your partner's flaws
While you may take positive qualities to extremes in the early stages of a relationship, over time you will come to realize that your partner has flaws. How you interpret them can give you an indication of your feelings.
- If you have no problem admitting that your partner has flaws and are able to accept her anyway, this is a good sign. The idea that she is perfect won't last forever, and you should be able to accept her negative qualities as well as her positive ones. If you can do this, it will be easier to keep your commitment to him.
- Are you able to tell your partner about her shortcomings? Can you make some irony on this subject? Are you willing to help her overcome the flaws that prevent her from achieving success? If you want to work hard to make your partner a better person, you are probably in love.
Step 6. Consider if you can compromise
People who love each other are willing to come to meet each other. When you and your partner disagree, you should be able to reach decisions that benefit both of you. To love means to want to make the other person happy, to put them at ease and, to do so, compromises are essential.
Part 2 of 3: Notice Your Behavior
Step 1. Do you want other people to like your partner?
When you love someone, you care about them making a good impression on friends and family. Notice how you feel when your partner meets people you care about. Is it very important to you that they appreciate it?
- Your social circle plays an important role in the success of your romantic relationship. If you really like someone, in case friends and family don't like that person, it will create tension. So, if you are in love with a person, you will be very interested in the perception that others have of them.
- If you pay close attention to how friends and family behave around your partner, this is a good sign. It means that you care about the success of the relationship and that you may be in love.
Step 2. How do you experience jealousy?
Contrary to popular belief, jealousy is a healthy component of a romantic relationship. It is important, however, to evaluate how you live it.
- In evolutionary terms, jealousy makes sense. It means paying attention to potential threats that stand in the way of the relationship's success. If you were in love, you could be jealous of the interactions between your partner and other people, even going so far as to be slightly possessive in public.
- Jealousy, however, can become toxic when it manifests itself in suspicion. Lack of trust can be a sign that you don't have true love. Do you feel the need to check your partner's messages and emails? In this case, you may need to reevaluate your relationship.
Step 3. Ask friends and family if they see you changed
People in love often change. When you have a partner you love, you will notice changes in the little things, for example in tastes and priorities in life.
- When you are in love, you take on new characteristics. You develop different tastes, your style and sense of humor may also change. However, you may not notice these differences, which come in subtle ways.
- Ask people close to you, such as friends and family, if they have noticed any changes. Are your personality, your tastes or your style different than when you didn't know your partner? If the answer is yes, you may be in love.
Step 4. Do you feel like you can express yourself freely in his company?
When you love someone, you should also feel loved. Many people describe love as the feeling that another person understands them. In this case, you should have no problem expressing yourself in the presence of your partner.
- Do you feel like you can talk to her about yourself and your problems without being judged? Can you talk about the negative emotions you feel, even the selfish ones, without having the impression that you misjudge yourself?
- Do you feel like you can disagree with your partner, even on the most important topics? For example, if you have political or religious beliefs that are different from yours, do you feel that you respect your beliefs, even though you don't share them?
- Can you be yourself in the presence of your partner? Can you make jokes, laugh, cry and feel all possible emotions when you are with her?
Step 5. Ask yourself if you are happy in his presence
It may seem like a trivial question, but many people find that they are not really happy with their other half. While your girlfriend doesn't have to be the only joy in your life, you should feel arousal and pleasure in her presence. Not every day will be exhilarating, but you should look forward to the moment you meet her and you should always have fun when you are together. Even the little things, like watching television, should be more enjoyable if you do them in two.
- This doesn't mean you should be ecstatic every second you spend together. It would not be a realistic expectation; relationships require commitment, even between very compatible people conflicts and disagreements are inevitable. However, research suggests that the ratio of positive to negative experiences in a successful relationship is about 20 to 1. In practice, you should feel happy most of the time when you are with your partner.
- If you often feel unhappy or uncomfortable around him, your relationship is probably in trouble.
Part 3 of 3: Recognizing the Biological Signs
Step 1. Check your mental responses
When you fall in love, the brain secretes three chemicals: phenylethylamine, dopamine and oxytocin. These substances have a great impact on emotional behavior. In particular, dopamine is associated with the part of the brain dedicated to gratification and therefore feeling in love is something pleasant that the brain searches for.
- During the early stages of love, you may notice an improvement in mood, an increase in self-esteem, and a tendency to do things you wouldn't normally do. For example, you may be inspired to do great romantic gestures, such as buying expensive gifts.
- You may also feel worried and always check your phone, email, and social media pages to see if the person you love has been looking for you.
- You may also experience negative emotions, such as increased fear of rejection and sudden mood swings. You may continually relive the most important moments and worry that your first kiss wasn't perfect or that you might have said something stupid at dinner.
- The mental response due to love can cause an intense feeling of loneliness. If you miss your partner a lot, even if you have been separated for a very short time, you may be in love.
Step 2. Pay attention to physical changes
Due to the release of chemicals in the brain, love also causes many physical reactions. You may be in love if you notice any of the following sensations:
- Increased energies.
- Loss of appetite.
- Tremors.
- Palpitations.
- Difficulty in breathing.
Step 3. Pay attention to your wishes
From a physical point of view, you will feel desire for your partner. It will not only manifest itself in the form of sexual libido, but also as a desire for contact and pampering throughout the day.
- Oxytocin is the hormone responsible for physical desire when you are in love. For this reason, in some cases it is called the "cuddle hormone". You will find that you want to kiss, cuddle and touch your partner throughout the day. You would like to stay in physical contact with her all the time.
- Sex is an important component of love, but it is almost never the predominant one. Many people in love find that bonding with their partner on an emotional level is more important than bonding on a sexual level. If you were in love, your relationship wouldn't be all about sex.
