The transition from childhood to adolescence can be a difficult time for your child. He is likely to have to deal with hormonal fluctuations, increased responsibilities and social dynamics within the school. However, this does not mean that he should be comfortable around the house, not contribute to the housework and neglect his school commitments. Most of the time it is possible to correct the laziness of children by creating solid rules and enforcing them, motivating them to collaborate at home, pushing them to take on additional responsibilities and talking with them about all the problems and difficulties they may encounter at school or in the family.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communicating with a Teenage Child
Step 1. Listen to your child and be patient
Avoid speaking for him or interrupting him when he says something. Encourage him to express himself by asking him simple questions about how his day went or a class assignment. Notice how he responds and allow him to express what he thinks.
- Try to establish a dialogue. If, as you speak, you show him that you are interested in his thoughts and opinions, you will encourage him to open up and be honest with you. Give him a chance to ask questions and think for himself.
- For example, you could introduce the conversation like this: "How are things at school?", "How was your training?" or "Did you have fun at the party on Saturday?".
- Let him know that you care about what happens in his life and that you are ready to listen to him: "You know you can always talk to me if you have problems at school or if there is something distracting you", "I'm here to listen to you if you need to. to talk "or" Remember that you can talk and I will listen to you without interrupting you ".
Step 2. Ask your child if he sleeps well
Most teens may seem lazy or distracted when they actually sleep little. Unlike adults, adolescents are physiologically prone to falling asleep later and waking up in the morning rather than early. Therefore, when your child is forced to get up at 7 or 8 in the morning to go to school and study, their natural wake / sleep rhythms are disrupted and, therefore, they may seem lazy, disoriented and unmotivated - all typical symptoms of sleep deprivation.. This is why he should go to bed within a decent time so that he can get plenty of rest during the night, which is for eight hours. In this way, he will not look sluggish and will have sufficient energy during the day.
Talk to him about wake up / sleep rhythms and bedtime. If he goes to bed at the same time every night, even on weekends, he will be able to regulate his wake / sleep cycle and provide the body with the necessary rest. For example, if he has to wake up at 7am five days a week to go to school, he should go to bed no later than 10.30pm to get a full eight hours of sleep. Also, he should stick to these times on the weekend so he doesn't disrupt his natural wake / sleep rhythms
Step 3. Explain the importance of keeping commitments and responsibilities
Many teens are reluctant when they have to cooperate around the house or finish homework because they see no interest in this kind of thing. They may think, "What do I care if I forget to take out the trash or clean my room?" As a parent, you need to explain that, in reality, you don't always want to tidy up the house or take care of other chores and that you would rather devote your time to something else. However, it is necessary to complete housework and other tasks in order to be responsible to the whole family.
Insist on the importance of teamwork and cooperation among all family members so that chores and responsibilities are distributed equally. By explaining to your child that it also weighs on you to always have to take care of the house, but that you do it anyway for the good of all, you will make him understand why it is necessary to take on certain tasks and get them done. This way, you will encourage him to do his duty as a family member
Step 4. Check for other problems at home or at school
Sometimes, laziness can be a symptom of other problems, such as lack of sleep, depression, stress, or other family conflicts. If your child seems to be more indolent or lazy than usual and exhibits other symptoms of depression or anxiety, sit down and talk to them.
If you are concerned that you may be suffering from anxiety or depression, consider seeing your doctor or psychologist to find out how to deal with this situation
Part 2 of 3: Establishing Ground Rules
Step 1. Organize the household chores
By giving him homework, you will teach him what his responsibilities are and help him practice housework. Plus, you'll prompt him to get off the couch and get active. Create a schedule by dividing housework throughout the day and distributing all the tasks between your child and other family members, including:
- Tidying up his room;
- Clean the bathroom;
- Do the laundry;
- Dust and clean the common areas;
- Sweep or wash the floors.
Step 2. Limit your use of video games and computers
Most kids are easily distracted and look sleepy from their computer, smartphone, or the latest video game. Instead of completely banning the use of electronic devices - which could lead to fights or arguments - put time limits on this kind of distraction - for example, by banning smartphones at dinner or playing video games after 10pm. This way, you will allow your child to focus time and energy on school homework or household chores. You will also prevent him from spending all evening in front of the computer so that he is fit for the next day.
When setting boundaries, you also need to set a good example and, therefore, abide by the same rules. Don't bring your phone to the table while you dine unless you allow him to use his, and also avoid watching television or playing video games after 10pm. By doing so, you will show him that you too are capable of following the same rules you set for him
Step 3. Act accordingly if he misbehaves
If your child is opposed to making a contribution around the house or does not abide by the rules you have established, be firm and clear about the consequences. You could punish him less severely, banning him from going out for one night, or more drastically, cutting his pocket money, banning him from using the TV or computer for a week or going out for a certain period of time.
- Since you are the adult among you, you must implement the rules you have established and act accordingly if he disobeys. He may get annoyed or angry, but he will understand the consequences of his actions and will probably think twice the next time before breaking a rule or not doing a task you have assigned him.
- Avoid overreacting and giving him too rigid punishment in case of small quarrels or trivial conflicts. Try to equate punishment with the gravity of mistakes.
Step 4. Stay calm and don't take negative comments too much to heart
It is very likely that he will resist your first attempts to set the rules and entrust him with housework, so be prepared for arguments and squabbles. Keep a cool head and don't yell at him. Instead, try to respond calmly and look at the situation with optimism. He will certainly react better if he has a parent who, instead of losing his temper, demonstrates self-control.
When he's not listening to you, instead of taking him out of phone or computer use, just try asking him to do something and stand there watching him until he's put aside all his distractions and finished what you asked him to do. He'll likely find your behavior unreasonable or annoying, but he'll soon realize that until he gets to work, you won't stop watching him. With this system you will stimulate him more than you would by nagging or yelling at him
Part 3 of 3: Motivating a Teenage Child
Step 1. Analyze how your time is passing
Observe how he seems lazy or wasting his time. Do you spend all day on the computer? Do you prefer to read a book instead of helping out around the house? He spends most of his time on the phone with friends and neglects his responsibilities. Before you can determine how you can motivate him, you need to understand how lazy he is. By doing so, you will come to understand his way of thinking and under what pattern his laziness manifests itself.
Step 2. Use a reward system
Once you have analyzed your child's laziness, you can leverage their behavior patterns to create a reward system that fits the situation. For example, if he enjoys chatting on his cell phone, you can tell him that he has to complete the chores set for that day before he can text friends. In this way, he will see the use of the telephone as a privilege and a reward for making a contribution around the house. Alternatively, if he spends too much time in front of the computer, tell him he won't be able to use it until he has set the table for dinner or cleaned his room.
Be specific about the tasks you need to reward him, as they have to push him to do his duty with the feeling that he will soon receive a reward. Pay attention to his preferences when deciding how to reward him because, if there is interest, the rewards will seem more generous
Step 3. Pay him if he does housework
Most kids try to make some extra cash, especially if they don't get pocket money from their parents. Give your child this opportunity by offering him some repair work in the house or garage. That way, you'll entice him to get off the couch and do something productive.
Offer to paint a wall that needs cleaning or to tidy up the garage or basement. Give him some outdoor work, like weeding or cutting hedges, to get him out of the house and keep him away from any distractions
Step 4. Encourage him to try some sports or extracurricular activities
Reflect on your child's abilities: for example, is he a talent for the theater, is he interested in basketball, or does he have a passion for computer science? Encourage him to attend a school play, join the school basketball team, or sign up for a computer class. In this way, he will be able to engage in an interesting activity and develop talent and skills.
Step 5. Volunteer with your child
Another way to set a good example is to spend time with him by volunteering for a good cause. Think of something to do together that will allow you to lend a hand to others and prevent them from getting lazy.
You could simply help out for a few hours at the soup kitchen or help out as a volunteer at a fair. You could spend your time on a fundraiser or food collection
Step 6. Congratulate your child on all their achievements
When he seems determined to win a prize or get a good question mark, give him your compliments. He will understand that you appreciate his commitment and the results he has achieved.
