No one would question the fact that raising strong children takes time and effort. While having children might mean "doing what comes naturally", being a good parent is much more complicated. If you want to know how to raise a child, follow these steps.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Develop Healthy Habits
Step 1. Put the education of children first
This is difficult to put into practice in a world where there are so many conflicting demands. A good parent plans and dedicates time to educating their children in a conscious way. He considers the development of his child's character to be the main priority. When you become a parent, you need to learn to prioritize your kids' priorities over yours and sacrifice yourself to spend more time of your day taking care of them instead of you. Certainly you shouldn't neglect yourself completely, but you should get used to the idea of putting your child's needs first.
- If you have a partner, you can take turns taking care of the baby so that each of you has free time for yourself.
- When planning your weekly routine, your child's needs should be your primary focus.
Step 2. Read something to your child every day
Helping to fuel the love for written words will help your child develop a passion for reading when he is older. Set a time for reading for your child each day, usually before bed or a nap. Spend at least half an hour or an hour a day reading for your child, if not more. Not only will your child develop a love of words, but they will also have better chances of success in education and behavior. Studies show that children who have had someone read to them every day exhibit fewer negative behaviors in school.
When your child starts learning to read or write, let them take control of the situation. Don't correct his mistakes every two seconds, or he'll get discouraged
Step 3. Dine as a family
One of the most dangerous habits of modern families is the loss of a family meal. The dining table is not only a place of sustenance and family affairs, but it is also a place where our values are taught and transmitted. Good manners and rules are subtly acquired when at the table. Family meal times should communicate and support the ideals that children will refer to throughout their lives.
- If your child is picky about eating, don't spend all dinner criticizing their eating habits and checking out what they don't eat like a vulture. This way, your child will associate family meals with something negative.
- Involve your child during meals. Dinner will be more fun if your child "helps" you to choose food at the supermarket or to set the table or to take care of small chores related to food preparation, such as washing the vegetables you will cook.
- Keep table conversations open and undemanding. Don't give your child the third degree. He simply asks: "how was your day?".
Step 4. Impose strict habits regarding bedtime
Even if your child does not have to go to bed every night during the same five-minute time interval, you should establish bedtime habits that your child can follow and respect. Studies show that after only one hour of lost sleep, children's cognitive abilities can be reduced by two full school years, therefore it is important that they rest as much as possible before going to school.
- Your routine should include time to relax. Turn off the television, music or any other electronic device and talk softly to your child in bed or read him something.
- Don't give your child sugar-containing snacks just before bed or it will be harder for him to fall asleep.
Step 5. Encourage your child to develop new skills each week
While you don't have to sign him up for ten different activities every week, you should find at least one or two activities he likes and fit them into his weekly routine. It can be anything from football to art classes, it doesn't matter what it is as long as your child shows a talent or a passion for something. Let him know he is doing a great job and encourage him to move on.
- Taking your child to different lessons will also help him socialize with other children.
- Don't get lazy. If your daughter complains that she doesn't want to go to piano class but you know she likes it, don't give in just because you don't feel like driving there.
Step 6. Give your child enough time to play each day
"Play time" does not mean leaving your child sitting in front of the television at the mercy of the buildings while you wash the dishes. "Play time" means letting your child sit in their room or in the play area by actively engaging them with stimulating games while you help them explore their possibilities. Even though you may be tired, it is important to show your child the advantage of playing their games so that they gain the stimulation they need and learn to play on their own.
It doesn't matter if you don't have 80 million toys to play with. It is the quality and not the quantity that counts. You may find that her favorite game of the month is an empty toilet roll
Method 2 of 4: Love your Son
Step 1. Learn to listen to your children
Influencing their life is one of the most amazing things you can do. It is easy to lose interest in one's children and it is a wasted opportunity to provide them with important guidance. If you never listen to your kids and spend all your time yelling orders at them, they won't feel respected or loved.
Encourage your children to talk. Helping them express themselves from an early age can help them communicate successfully in the future
Step 2. Treat your child with respect
Never forget that your child is a human being who lives, breathes and has his needs and requirements just like all of us. If your child is picky about eating, don't constantly pester him at the table; if it is difficult for him to get used to using the potty, do not embarrass him by addressing the subject in public; if you promised him that if he was good you would take him to the cinema, don't take your word back because you're too tired.
If you respect your child, he or she is much more likely to respect you as well
Step 3. Know that you can never love your child too much
It is a legend that loving your child "too much", praising him "too much" or showering him with "too much" affection can make him very spoiled. Giving him love, affection and attention will positively stimulate him to develop as a human being. Giving him toys instead of expressing love or not scolding him when he misbehaves are attitudes that will lead you to spoil your child.
Let your child know how much you love him at least once a day, but preferably as often as possible
Step 4. Get involved in your child's daily life
It will take commitment and fortitude to be there for your child every day, but if you want to stimulate him to develop his interests and character, you need to create a solid system to support him. This doesn't mean that you have to follow him every second of the day, but that you have to be there in all those little moments, from his first football game to moments at the beach with the family.
- When your child starts school, you should know what lessons he is taking and the names of his teachers. Go through the homework with him and help him if he's in trouble, but don't do it for him.
- When your child grows up, you can start to step aside a little, stimulating him to explore his interests without always having you by his side.
Step 5. Stimulate her independence
You can still be there for your child while encouraging him to explore his interests. Don't tell him which lessons to follow; let him choose from a variety of possible options. You can help him get dressed, but go buy him clothes with him so he can have a say in how he looks. And if your child wants to play with friends or alone with toys without having you around, let him build his own identity every now and then.
If you stimulate his independence from an early age, he is much more likely to be able to fend for himself as an adult
Method 3 of 4: Teach Your Child Discipline
Step 1. Punish him by showing him affection
Nowadays, punishments have a bad reputation. The result is guilt-ridden parents and self-indulgent, out-of-control children. Children need limits. Sometimes they will ignore them. Just punishments are one of the methods that humans have always learned. Children must understand what the punishment refers to and must know that it comes from their parents' love for them.
Avoid forms of punishment that are too violent, such as spanking or beating. Children who are spanked or beaten are no longer willing to listen; on the contrary, studies show that they are more likely to engage in fights with other children or to become bullies
Step 2. Reward your child for behaving well
Rewarding your child when he behaves well is even more important than punishing him when he behaves badly. Letting your child know when he is doing something right will spur that behavior in the future. If your child is doing well, for example sharing his games when he finds himself playing with other children or is patient during a car ride, let him know that you have noticed his positive behavior. don't ignore it when he behaves well and then punish him when he behaves badly.
- Do not underestimate the importance of rewarding your child when he behaves well. Saying, “I'm so proud of you for…” can give your child the feeling that their positive behavior has been truly appreciated.
- Occasionally you can give him games or surprise him, but don't make him think he deserves a game every time he does something good.
Step 3. Be consistent
If you want to discipline your child effectively, you need to be consistent. You can't punish your child for doing something one day, and then give him a candy to make him stop another day, or even say nothing because you're too tired to start arguing. And if your child does something good, like using the toilet properly while learning how to use the potty, be sure to praise him every time. Consistency is the element that strengthens positive and negative behaviors.
If you and your partner are raising your child together, you should maintain the same line of behavior towards them, using the same teaching methods. There should be no habit of distinguishing between "good and bad" at home
Step 4. Explain your rules
If you really want your child to accept your teaching methods, you need to be able to explain why they can't do certain things. Don't just tell him not to be rude to other children or to tidy up his toys; explain to him why this behavior will be good for himself, for you and for society in general. Making a connection between your child's actions and their meaning will help them understand your decision-making process.
Step 5. Teach your child to take responsibility for their actions
This is an important aspect of teaching him discipline and building his character. If he does something wrong, such as throwing food on the ground, make sure he is guilty of such behavior and explain why he did it, instead of blaming someone else or even denying it. After your child does something unseemly, discuss with him why it happened.
It is important for your child to know that everyone is wrong. The error itself is not as important as the way he reacts
Method 4 of 4: Build the Character
Step 1. Do not limit the refinement of the character to words alone
We acquire the virtues through practice. Parents should help children to promote moral actions through self-discipline, good work habits, a kind and respectful attitude towards others and carrying out socially useful work. The crucial element in the development of character is behavior, their behavior. If your child is too young for a proper humanitarian attitude, you can always teach them to be nice to others, regardless of their age.
Step 2. Be a positive role model
Let's face it: humans learn mainly by taking role models. In reality, you cannot avoid being an example to your children, be it positive or negative. Consequently, being a good example is probably your most important task. If you yell at your daughter and then tell her she should never scream, kick the wall when you are angry, or make nasty comments about your neighbors, your daughter will think such behaviors are right.
Start setting a good example from day one. Your child will understand your moods and your behavior sooner than you think
Step 3. Develop a good ear and a keen eye for what your children are assimilating
Children are like sponges. Much of what they absorb has to do with moral values and character. Books, songs, TV, internet, and movies continually convey moral and immoral messages to our children. As parents, we need to control the flow of ideas and images that affect our children.
If you and your child see something that upsets you, for example two people arguing in the supermarket or a video about violence on the news, don't miss the opportunity to talk about it with your child
Step 4. Teach good manners
Teaching your child to say "thank you" and "please" and to treat others with basic respect will take him a long way, helping him fulfill himself in the future. Don't underestimate the power of teaching your child to be nice to adults, to respect older people, and to avoid arguing or picking fights with other children. Good manners will accompany your children for the rest of their life and you should start setting that model as soon as possible.
A fundamental aspect of good manners is to clean up the mess left by oneself. Teach your child to tidy up his toys when he is three, and he will become a perfect person to host in the house when he is twenty-three
Step 5. Use only the words you want your children to use
Although you may feel the urge to rant, complain or say negative things against someone you know in front of your child, even if you are simply talking on the phone, remember that your child is always attentive. And if you are having a heated argument with your partner, it is best to do it separately so that your child cannot imitate your negative behavior.
If you said a bad word and your son noticed it, don't ignore it. Apologize and tell him it won't happen again. If you don't say anything, your child will think those words are fine
Step 6. Teach your children to empathize with other people
Empathy is an important element that is never too early to teach. If your child learns to empathize with others, they will be able to see the world from a more impartial perspective and will be able to put themselves in others' shoes. Let's say your son comes home and tells you that his friend Jimmy was mean to him; try to talk about what happened and see if you can understand how Jimmy might feel and what caused this negative behavior.
Let's take the example of a waitress who forgets your order at a restaurant. Don't tell your child she is lazy, but point out how tired she must be after being up all day
Step 7. Teach your child to be grateful
Teaching your child to be truly grateful is different from forcing him to say "thank you" all the time. To truly teach him to be grateful, you must always say “thank you” so that he notices such positive behavior. If your daughter complains that everyone at school has a new toy that you don't want her to have, remind her that there are many people who are less fortunate than her.
- Make her live in contact with people of all kinds, so that she understands how privileged she is, even if it means not having a Nintendo DS for Christmas.
- Saying, “I didn't hear you say thank you…” after your daughter fails to say it, actually won't get the message across any more than saying “thank you” yourself making sure she listens to you.
Advice
- Meet the parents of your child's friends. You may develop close friendships yourself during this stage, or at least know if your child is safe in their home.
- Read carefully the books that tell you how to do this. Today's fixation on the education of children could turn into the title of an article tomorrow on the mistakes one has fallen into.
- Learn to shop. It is especially important for clothes, as by finding the right size and style, the child will feel more comfortable, and for shoes, so that the feet are safe and protected.
- Having one child at a time helps a lot. This does not mean waiting two years from the first child before having the second, it means waiting more than 6 years. Children are very much in need of time, patience and attention. Having 2 or more can be stressful for both you and the baby.
