You are probably a manager who has plans to create a more positive work environment or perhaps you are just looking to learn conflict resolution techniques. The art of diplomacy implies a good assessment of the circumstances before speaking and acting in order to face them in the best way. While it's not an easy task at certain times, you can stay calm by behaving politely, softening the mood when it gets tense, and relating appropriately to others.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communicate Effectively
Step 1. Choose your words carefully
Remember that words can sometimes hurt people even if the intentions are good. So before you talk about a sensitive subject, ask yourself if what you are about to say is true, helpful, or kind. Express yourself to explain your thoughts rather than guessing what others are thinking or feeling.
- For example, you might say, "I feel upset about the decision that was made at today's meeting" instead of, "You should be upset about the decision made today."
- If you need to discuss an important topic with someone, prepare your speech.
Step 2. Adapt your communication style according to the situation
You need to know your interlocutors before sending a message. This way, you will ensure that it will be received and understood. Determine if it is better to send an email or speak in person or if it is better to announce a news as a group or individually.
- For example, suppose you need to notify your staff that budget cuts will occur. You've sent emails in the past to provide sensitive information, but found it to be confusing. In this case, organize a staff meeting and explain the situation so that your collaborators have a chance to clarify their doubts.
- Schedule of individual meetings according to needs or requests.
Step 3. Be open to new ideas
Instead of always making decisions on your own, listen to the point of view of others. Thank them for giving you what they think so that they will continue to do so in the future. Take the time to evaluate the opinions of others, but stay firm on your decisions when you believe you have made the best choice.
Reply: "Thank you for your honesty, Marco. I will consider what you have told me about health care for all and will do further research."
Step 4. Be assertive with your words and body language
When interacting with others, don't be aggressive, but try to be confident. Speak slowly and confidently. Sit down without crossing your legs or crossing your arms and look your interlocutor in the eye as he speaks.
Step 5. Don't be too direct
Instead of explicitly communicating your thoughts and feelings, use some filters. Offer suggestions rather than saying what needs to be done. A diplomatic person does not sit and shout orders, but find ways to get others to act.
- For example, if you have to deal with a conflict situation between your children, try saying: "You should consider a better solution to divide the space in the room so that you don't fight anymore."
- You can tell an employee who often arrives late, "Have you ever considered taking the highway to work? From what I've seen, it's fast flowing." However, it is better for you to address yourself in this way if you have a good relationship with your interlocutor, otherwise in certain contexts they may think that you are behaving in a passive-aggressive way.
Step 6. Pay attention to your manners
Education is the key to diplomacy. Wait your turn to speak and never interrupt other people. Be encouraging and avoid insulting. Express yourself in a natural, non-confrontational tone of voice. Don't swear and don't scream.
Step 7. Check your emotionality
You are probably forced to work with peers who are irritating or have provocative attitudes. However, diplomacy is not an art that is only used with the people you appreciate. Learn deep breathing techniques to calm yourself down when others are stressing you. If you feel the need to cry or let off steam, get out there and go to the bathroom for a second.
Part 2 of 3: Coping with Difficult Situations
Step 1. Find the right time to talk
If you have to confront someone on a serious matter, do it when you are calm. This way, you'll make sure the conversation doesn't degenerate.
Step 2. Start with a positive comment when you need to break bad news
Before giving information that could upset your interlocutor, relax the atmosphere a little with positive considerations or news. This approach will allow you to establish an atmosphere of calm and trust.
- Let's say you have to decline an invitation to a wedding. Instead of directly answering "no", send a card that says: "Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I know it's going to be a nice day. Unfortunately, I have a work commitment, but I wish you all my best and will send you soon. my present".
- Use this method even when you need to make constructive criticism.
Step 3. Focus on the facts
Before an important discussion, consider the facts. You don't have to speak based on your beliefs or by following your emotions, but you have to rely on reason and logic.
Let's suppose that the company is undergoing a downsizing of the workforce. Instead of going to your boss and exclaiming, "I don't agree with these changes!", Tell him, "Our department doubled sales in the last quarter. The cuts made will severely compromise our ability to increase profits."
Step 4. Find a way to negotiate with people
Identify your goals and those of others. Ask yourself what you want to achieve and what your counterpart wants, and find a way to meet the needs of both.
For example, suppose your husband proposes that you move house so that your children can attend a more prestigious school. However, you prefer to stay where you live so as not to leave your office. Consider private schools or moving to the next neighborhood
Step 5. Express your preferences so that the situation is win-win for everyone
Once your goals are outlined, try to negotiate. Diplomacy often involves giving up certain things in exchange for others. Be willing to compromise and move on.
Suppose that at some point you and your roommate need to share housework. You don't mind washing dishes, but you hate maintenance jobs. Maybe for the other person it can be the other way around. In this case, propose to take care of the cleaning of the kitchen if it takes care of the repairs and care of the garden
Step 6. React calmly when you receive bad news
If your boss tells you that you will be fired or if your husband wants to get a divorce, show your maturity by keeping calm instead of yelling, cursing, or having a nervous breakdown. Breathe deeply, filling your lungs and driving out the air. React positively and, if necessary, walk away for a second to recover.
For example, you might say to your boss, "I am very sorry to hear this news. Is there a reason in particular? Is this a final decision?"
Step 7. Speak well of others
If any gossip reaches your ears, don't pour gasoline on the fire. You probably work in a hostile environment where rumors often circulate, but don't get involved. By abstaining, you will show that you are fair and have character.
Step 8. Be honest and show your true personality
One of the ingredients of diplomacy is reliability. During the thorniest conversations you have to be loyal to your interlocutors, otherwise you will not be able to get what you want and others will not be able to relate to you in an authentic way.
Suppose you made a mistake that affected your entire team. Instead of blaming someone else, admit, "I made an inaccuracy on the report, that's why we got so many calls today. I'm sorry, but I'm trying to fix it. Tell me if you have any questions or need help."
Step 9. Step away from the conversation
Don't make tough decisions in a hurry. Instead of making choices that you may regret, take a moment to think.
For example, if you are a supervisor and an employee asks you to work from home one day a week, consider their needs and motivations before immediately answering "no". If you can, compromise and offer that kind of flexibility to the rest of the staff as well
Part 3 of 3: Building Good Relationships with Others
Step 1. Have a chat to create a calmer atmosphere
If you want to be more diplomatic, you need to help others feel comfortable. Instead of tackling serious conversation out of the blue, try to get to know people. Talk about their weekend plans, married life, children, or their passions. Discuss news you've learned from the newspapers or your favorite TV shows. Put them at ease by showing interest in their private life.
When appropriate, make a few jokes
Step 2. Imitate the body language of your interlocutor
Communicate empathy by reproducing the gestures and posture of those in front of you. If he is sitting with his chin resting on his hand, do the same. This way, you will show interest in the conversation.
Smile as soon as you meet him
Step 3. Call by name
People react well when they hear their name spoken. So, use it every now and then while you're talking.
You could simply say, "Where would you like to have lunch, Maria?" or say it on more serious occasions like: "Andrea, I'm sorry for your mother"
Step 4. Listen carefully
When talking to someone, avoid playing with your phone or wandering your mind. Instead, pay attention so that you understand his point of view. Repeat what he said to let him know you listened.
For example, you might say, "So, the care you are giving to your mother and the raising of your child are physically challenging you."
Step 5. Ask a few questions
Show attention to your interlocutor by deepening his or her speech. Ask questions that require more thought and not a simple "yes" or "no" answer.
