In life, certain certainties can be comforting, but when the bartender starts preparing your drink even before you have ordered it, perhaps it is time to do something. Step out of your comfort zone and inject a healthy dose of spontaneity into your daily routine, you will find that things can be unexpectedly fun.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Knowing Your Routine
Step 1. Create a list of your habits
Before starting the change, precisely define the areas in your life that need less stiffness. What are the patterns of behavior that you usually repeat?
- It begins when you wake up. What's the first thing you want to do in the morning? When does your routine start?
- Keep a diary relating to a typical day of yours and take note of every gesture that has become part of a routine. If you normally walk to the office, do you follow the exact same route every day? Do you always sit at the same desk in class? Does your lunch break include the usual meal every day? Could your friends order for you at the restaurant? Do you always choose to take the same bus? What about your clothes?
Step 2. Identify your anxieties
Often, repetitive behaviors are the result of deeply ingrained anxieties, and limiting beliefs that pop up in unexpected ways. As you begin to notice your daily repetitive habits, you can consider changing them. How nervous does the idea of not ordering that particular breakfast make you? How about trying to take the bus instead of walking? What scares you about this idea?
- Make a note of the answers next to the actions in your routine. Try to be as specific as possible. What scares you about sitting next to a stranger and maybe starting a conversation? What is holding you back from entering a new restaurant?
- Ask for help from friends and family. Often they are the ones who know you better than yourself. Ask a simple question, "Am I predictable?" If you suspect that this is the case, perhaps people around you will be able to help you identify patterns of behavior that are unknown to you.
Step 3. Make a note of the downtime
Part of being spontaneous means being active. During the day, take note of times when you are sitting around the house with nothing to do, or times when you feel bored. What do you choose to do with that time at your disposal?
As you compile this list, also think about your "ideal days." If you had nothing to do to occupy that time, and if you had unlimited resources and possibilities, what would you do? What would make your evening perfect after a day at school or work?
Step 4. Choose modifiable behaviors
Review your list and decide what you'd like to change. Some parts of the routine are good, having habits can make us more productive and comfortable. Some parts of the routine, however, are the result of our limiting beliefs and anxieties, and force us to be lazy and suspicious of new experiences.
In particular, looking at your list, look at the things that make you uncomfortable. If your ideal night is going to dance, but you normally sit in your chair playing video games, the game will probably make you feel guilty. If so, it means that part of your routine can be changed. Conversely, if you normally order a sugar-free espresso because you love the intense flavor of the coffee, why change?
Part 2 of 2: Break Your Routine
Step 1. Start slowly
Partially change habits identified as editable. Change route to get to the office. Bring your own lunch instead of going to the usual bar. Call a friend and suggest they have a drink together rather than going straight home after work. Go to the library to study instead of staying at home. Have you experienced any good feelings? Has the anxiety level increased?
Step 2. Reconnect with people
Often a lack of spontaneity leads to a feeling of loneliness. We tend to think that the whole world is busy having fun while we are at home. And when we plan to do something we tend to do it ourselves.
Invite people to do even the simplest things. If you're used to having a couple of beers on your couch after dinner, turn your habit into a pleasant event by including some old school friends. Resume lost contacts and plan new activities
Step 3. Make friends with the mystery
Among other things, spontaneity means stimulating people's curiosity. The next time someone asks you a question about your weekend, try to answer, "It was wonderfully exhausting, what about yours?" Cryptic answers create mystery and people will start to care about you and how you spend your time. By involving others in your life, you will have a better chance of having spontaneous experiences.
Step 4. Indulge your wishes
If you have a craving for a late night pizza, or to start a vegetarian lifestyle, why not do it? It's easy to find excuses not to do something, but instead of worrying about not having to eat after 10pm or realizing one day that yours was just a whim, just do it.
Especially, if you find yourself regretting not following your sudden cravings, learn to recognize them and put them into practice
Step 5. Create instant programs
When you talk to friends, it's easy to make general plans for the future: "We should try camping" or "Let's meet for lunch one of these days." Change your habits by planning a specific date and choose an activity in advance. Transform "We hope we can arrange something for Easter" into "We book a plane today."
Alternatively, if you are a freak of advance planning, you decide NOT to have a plan. You can decide to meet someone later, but don't plan any particular activities. See yourself in an unusual area of the city and explore it together
Step 6. Travel
Sometimes it's easy to get stuck in a routine when you're always in the same place. Particularly if you live in a small to medium-sized city you may run out of options relatively quickly.
- Plan a few days of your trip, but also leave room for new possibilities and adventures. The worst possible scenario will be having to walk and explore a new and never seen place, what more could you ask for!
- A trip doesn't have to be an expensive expense. Start by changing your Friday night routine and visit the neighboring village pub.
