For many years, self-esteem has been synonymous with good self-image, but this is not the true meaning of self-esteem. A positive self-image is important - it means taking care of yourself and seeing yourself as a unique and special individual simply because of your qualities as a human being.
Self-esteem is a positive feeling about your worth based on real worthy actions - it's a feeling you get when you've achieved results, and it's beautiful. You too can improve your self-esteem by thinking positively and acting humbly, and by helping others increase theirs in the process.
Steps
Step 1. Take actions and live life in a way that impresses you
There is only one way to improve your self-esteem - earn your respect. Many times we try to impress others, but we are just wasting time. The person you really need to impress is yourself. Always try to improve yourself according to your goals and expectations, not those of others.
- Stop trying to win the respect of others. Live life with integrity and self-determination, based on what impresses you, and other people will respect you too.
- Whenever possible, distance yourself from people who don't respect you. When you can't do it, don't stoop to their level. It can be difficult, but with practice you will succeed. It is already a great goal to learn not to lower them to the level of people who do not respect you. Understand that they may have a general reason for disrespect you, such as a prejudice, or they may have a malicious character. If it's a misunderstanding, try to resolve it - when a liar spreads false news about you it can be difficult to resolve the situation and assert your truth, but if you don't, you risk people who had a positive idea of you. they start not respecting you anymore. Once your image is restored, remember to never trust anyone who has spread false rumors about you again.
- While you shouldn't ignore other people's opinions and ideas, don't live your life by these canons. Listen and follow what feels right to you, but acquire as an inner value only what can improve you or that you have chosen yourself.
Step 2. Set goals and work towards achieving them
They will not have to be extremely ambitious, but for example gradual improvements. You may decide to learn to play the guitar, for example. Start saving to buy a guitar, then learn one chord at a time until you know them all perfectly. Get some guitar books and sheet music from a bookstore and learn one song at a time, or play by ear. Or you could learn to draw by reading art books, and practicing every day with a pencil and notebook. A different example: imagine you have an average of 6.5 in school. Try to increase your average by at least half a point by the end of the semester. Start studying more, join a study group, or get help from a partner. As you begin to master school subjects and see your average rise to 7, you will feel a strong sense of satisfaction - and your self-esteem will benefit. Both the daily hits "Today I studied" and the external ones "I'm good enough at playing guitar that I can play at a party without anyone laughing at me" are different types of self-esteem.
Set your goals wisely. Look at the real goals and interests in your life. Whether your long-term goal is to become a professional with a good degree or to receive a college scholarship, improving your average is the first step on the long road to personal success. If you are improving your grades from 7, 5 to 9 to satisfy a critical parent who expects perfection, choose a goal for your self-esteem that is not based on their opinion of your achievements, such as learning to draw, to play the guitar., create a collection, know how to tell jokes well or whatever can relax you. Especially if you are living a successful career that puts a lot of pressure on you, you will need to give space to your true passions. A good goal is something you'd like to do even if no one knew, no one paid you to do it, and no one complimented you on your successes in that business. This is what feeds the soul
Step 3. Get achievements and recognition
Study a lot. Bring that 7 and make it a 10 and praise by dedicating yourself with passion to what you study. Or give it your all in sports. Even if you are an average player, if you train hard you will improve, and this is already a very good result. Pick something to excel at, pick a goal, and work hard to achieve it - even striving to improve yourself is something worthwhile.
- Leverage your strengths. If you run fast but aren't strong or tough, athletics is probably a better choice than football. If you are creative and dramatic, consider theater and audition for school plays. If you are good at math and hate humanities, take part in the math Olympics and improve your skills in the areas that work best for you. Strengthen your natural talents. It is a good idea to have at least one goal related to your personality and what you do best.
- It is also a good idea to set goals that correct your weaknesses. If you are very good in math and computer science, but you can barely get enough in Italian and you are afraid to talk to girls, you aim to get to 6, 5 in Italian and overcome your shyness will do your self-esteem good.. Some might think that getting to 6, 5 in Italian is not a great feat, but doing it after starting from 6-, risking being postponed every year is a great result, perhaps more difficult than going from 6, 5 to 7.
Step 4. Value noble enterprises
Academic, artistic, and sporting goals are traditional endeavors that can bring out the best in a person, testing his or her intellectual and physical limits, and rewarding individual and team efforts. You could write a novel, a piece of music, create a graphic novel, or paint well enough to create works of art. Find ways to continue pursuing these noble passions in life after school.
Step 5. Value harmless and rewarding passions
Embroidery, gardening, crochet, carpentry, painting, collecting, modeling, fashion, DIY, quizzes, games and reading are all things that do not cause any harm and give self-esteem to who practices them. They will also allow you to forge relationships with other people who share your interests. Not all the goals you set yourself will have to be about high and noble passions and your interests will not all have to be profitable if they can give you pleasure and relaxation. Many arts and sciences can fall into this category even if you don't make a career out of them or follow them professionally - science clubs, amateur theater, karaoke, and personal painting are all worthwhile pursuits even if you decide to remain an amateur and follow these passions just because you love them. You will also have a good foundation on which to build a new social life should you decide to move. If you don't find a club in the new area, you can start one and make a lot of people happy.
Step 6. Help the neighbor
Volunteer at a retirement home or homeless shelter. Ask your church about what you can do to help the sick or the poor. Donate your time and services to an animal shelter. There is nothing more rewarding than offering your time and skills to the people who need it. Getting out of your head and your normal circle of friends can make you open your eyes and become humbler.
Step 7. Be humble
No one has rendered a greater public service than that of Mother Teresa, who has helped the poor, the sick and the dying, and has never abandoned anyone. Mother Teresa, however, was a strong and noble soul who knew that if she hadn't helped those people, maybe no one would have done it. He fought all his life against chronic depression and won, never giving up. She saw the value of every person and never let herself be put off by the thought that her life's work might not be enough to change the lives of millions of people - in most cases, she was working to cure the suffering of one person at a time.. This is true self-esteem: "I'm just a person, but I can help these people." This means knowing and believing that a person can make a difference. And making a difference one person at a time can be a humble, yet extremely worthy goal.
Step 8. Pass on your skills and talents to someone
Teaching someone your specialty will let you know how much you really know and how much you have to offer. When you help a novice learn the skills you have honed, you will receive their admiration and respect for your endeavor. Also, you will help someone develop the same skills, and they can be passed down again.
Step 9. Let the children improve their self-esteem honestly
Just because they're kids doesn't mean they're stupid - do you think they don't notice when you let them win? Their self-esteem will not improve if you give them a win. He will only be able to improve after a real victory. Play something with your child until he gets very good - you can choose the game of your choice: dominoes, beetles, Pokemon, a video game, trump - and whatever you do, don't behave with special attention. When you win, celebrate. Don't belittle him or call him a loser, just say "Hurray, I won!". Then he continues "Let's see, did you make any mistakes? Maybe you didn't - you just had bad luck cards. Let's evaluate your game and see where you can improve." Help him, show him how to improve, and play some more. Eventually, he will be able to beat you. When he does, tell him to get on the table and do the victory dance. Look at her face. Observe your child when he knows he has earned the victory, because he achieved it with his own strength. This approach makes a big difference, because it makes your child realize that he has the power to win if he puts his all into it. You could give it a foundation that it will follow for the rest of its life. Don't let him win. If you did, you would only be depriving yourself of the chance to honestly earn a win.
- Children understand the difference between a victory given because you love them and a victory obtained in a real competition. Don't be surprised if your child makes you win, ask yourself if you've been a bad loser if that happens.
- Encourage uncompetitive activity and praise every step to success instead of expecting perfection. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, so as not to experience every failure as a catastrophe.
Advice
- You firmly believe you can make a difference, one person or one goal at a time. Over time, as your efforts bear fruit, you will feel deep satisfaction with your results.
- Keep a written record of your progress towards the goal, whether it is your training scores, hours studied, your drafts, the chords you have learned or the pounds lost or gained. Small daily successes are very effective for self-esteem growth. It will not be the victory in the regional title that will give you the victory of overcoming adversity in life, but all the training that has allowed you to become part of the team and all the games you have played.
- Nobody can give you self-esteem. You will have to earn it yourself.
- Discover the realistic limitations of your behaviors and abilities. Move gracefully from successes to failures and learn to forgive yourself.
- Improve your sense of humor - especially about yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously, and always look at things from the right perspective.
- Never allow anyone to deprive you of pride.
- Competition in sports and other activities is healthy when it is fair, within your means and accompanied by fun and respect for others. Competitions where you compare yourself negatively to others and try to be better than others are not. You never know what life is like for other people. So setting your standards according to what others do or have will only demoralize you and reduce your self-esteem.
- Try to become good at a sport, with a musical instrument or in the Italian language.
- The passion for an artist, television, cinema or music or a sportsman is a common and effective type of goal and activity. Winning quiz races on a topic you are passionate about is a mildly competitive activity that improves your self-esteem and memory. Don't forget that the less formal activities are often the ones that can be followed without the need for resources or equipment. Strong interests can also help you improve and maintain your social life after school, even if you have to move for work. You will also find other fans of your favorite artist or sportsman in the new location.
- Choosing at least one non-competitive activity is important, to engage in something that is not based only on the opinion of other people and is easy to measure only in comparison to your previous results. If you want to read all of Leopardi's works, this is a goal that you can complete and will not elicit any reactions from other people. Competing, even if you don't win, can be exhilarating and helps you hone your skills - thereby improving your self-esteem. Among the competitive activities, choose those where you are best or where you can get good results with commitment. Hitting your head against the wall by participating in competitions where you can't do well won't help you build self-esteem, only frustration. A well-thought-out young man may try to get strong and muscular, lose weight and get on the basketball team, but with that build he is unlikely to become an athletics star.
Warnings
- Avoid illegal and self-destructive targets. Anyone who has managed to drink more beer without throwing up is likely an alcoholic and has only improved their alcohol tolerance. Joining a street gang can lead you to a future in prison instead of college. Having sex with many partners can lead you to contract STD and hardly find someone who can love you for life and treat you with respect.
- Avoid the temptation to turn self-esteem into conceit and arrogance. People with good self-esteem are very attractive. The arrogant ones are not.
- Think long term and also short term. Sports that cannot be practiced easily in old age or where peak performance is achieved at a young age can be great activities if you are good enough to become a pro. For many people, however, they lead to being seated on a sofa at 40 remembering the glory days, rather than imagining future triumphs on the bowling alley or on the tennis court. A very high grade point average can lead you to receive a scholarship, but if your self-esteem is based only on the high grades you receive, you could go into a big shock after graduation. In the business world, there are no external grades that you can measure your successes with, so make sure at least some of your goals can survive leaving the school system.
