There's a gorgeous girl you love to die for, but whenever you're in her presence, you just don't know what to do! No fear! While we can't guarantee that she'll want to hang out with you, there are strategies you can try to make it likely. Read on to start acting properly with the girl you like.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Defining Your Personality
Step 1. Learn to believe in yourself
Self-esteem is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have. You don't have to be sexy or have Chris Hemsworth's physique, of course not. Having confidence in yourself means believing in your worth. If you believe it, the girl you like will do too.
- To build good self-esteem, it takes time and effort, especially if you start from scratch. While you don't believe in yourself, pretend you are. Projecting self-esteem even if you don't have it actually "tricks" the brain into believing that you are confident!
- When you walk, stand straight, as if you are important. Take up your space by resting your ankle on your knee when you sit down. Lean casually against a nearby surface. Avoid crossing your arms in front of your chest, and look people in the eye as you speak, otherwise it will seem like you are getting defensive.
Step 2. Be yourself
For good self-esteem, it is important to be yourself and accept yourself accordingly. Trying to change to look like someone else won't work with this girl. She will realize that you are not comfortable with yourself and that you lie about your identity: she will not be affected.
- Show her what makes you unique and why you are interesting. You don't have to walk around dressed in a weird way or as if you came from another era to get noticed, but don't hide your interests.
- Don't try to be someone else; in particular, don't try to be that person you think she wants. If she's not interested in who you are, then she's not the right girl for you.
Step 3. Try to have good personal hygiene
It's hard to attract the girl you like if you disgust her because you haven't washed in days and sebum is dripping from her hair. Shower daily and lather well. Wear freshly laundered clothes. Reusing jeans and other pants is fine, as long as they aren't too dirty. Change the shirt every day.
- Be careful when using aftershave or cologne. Better not to overdo it. You shouldn't approach the girl you like wrapped in a real cloud of perfume. Just a splash.
- Make sure you smell the deodorants before you buy them, so you can understand if they are strong and what their fragrance is. Again, you don't have to foul her with excessive scent, but a touch of deodorant (especially if you have to play football or basketball) will make you look a lot cleaner.
Step 4. Try to have an independent life
Another incredibly important thing to remember is that you must lead a life of your own. Don't just focus on one girl and hang on to her 24/7. You won't get anything out of it. In fact, you will seem affectionate and lacking in autonomy, and she will feel much less attracted to you.
- Pursue your interests. If you like football, join a team and play. You could also (if you're feeling brave) invite her to go see a game or take a few passes with the ball.
- This means you need to have friends to hang out with, even if they belong to different groups. Share experiences with your party instead of only doing something when you know they will be there. You don't have to leave the house only when you know you can see it.
- This does not mean that you should ignore it entirely. Obviously not. When you see her around (whether she's at school or at an event), ask her how she is, and tell her about some experiences you've had (like learning a language self-taught, climbing, scoring high scores playing Call of Duty).
Part 2 of 3: Behave Appropriately
Step 1. Be respectful
Many guys are taught that it is not necessary to respect women and behave accordingly. Don't be one of them. Being polite doesn't mean becoming a doormat or doing whatever she tells you. Instead, it means treating a girl by remembering that she is a human being just like you.
- One way to show respect is to stop doing something when she asks you to. For example, if while you are tickling yourself he says “Enough!”, Listen to it, however much you think he is joking. If so, he will let you know, and you can continue. Making her understand that you respect her even in small things shows that you are willing not to cross certain limits when it comes to more sensitive matters.
- Be respectful of others in their presence (but also in general). Don't speak badly of your ex using unspeakable epithets and don't express yourself in a vulgar way. Do not demean women and do not offend other guys, otherwise you will appear disrespectful towards the opposite sex and truly immature.
Step 2. Read her body language
While many guys say it's a mystery, it's actually not that difficult. Remember: you realize when your sister is mad at you or your friend is trying to ignore you. Understanding the girl you like isn't that different.
- If in most cases she does not look you in the eye (or immediately looks away) and replies with monosyllables, there are two explanations: either she does not want to see you, or she is angry with you. Better to go back in these cases.
- A girl who wants to spend time with you proves this quite clearly. Rotate your body in your direction. He looks you in the eye, smiles and laughs when you say something funny (not to laugh at you). He may also seek physical contact (for example, he touches your arm when trying to make an important point).
Step 3. Look her in the eye
It seems that eye contact is one of the most important methods of flirting with a person we care about. It's a good strategy that you can use in class if you're sitting in the right place, or in a club, at a party.
- You can do this in several ways. A good way to do this is to look her in the eye when you are in the same space; meets his gaze and linger for a few seconds. Instead, when you speak, be sure to look deeply into her eyes. For some reason, an intense, prolonged stare can make a person feel butterflies in the stomach.
- Smile when you look at her, especially when eyes meet. A slight smile is preferable to one with 32 teeth.
Step 4. Don't ignore his friends
Friends are incredibly important to a girl. He listens to their advice, even if he doesn't always follow them. If they don't like you, that will at least arouse some suspicion in his mind. To prevent this from happening, you need to make sure you conquer them.
- Find out about some of their interests and ask questions about those passions. For example, if they love to watch a certain TV show, investigate why (why they watch it, who their favorite characters are, what episode they liked the most, what aspects of the show or fandom are that irritate them.).
- If her friends show up while you're talking to the girl you like, be sure to include them in the conversation. You can still give her those long, deep, languid looks while making sure others don't feel completely ignored by you.
- Either way, don't flirt with her friends. You don't have to give the impression that you are a dowager who would be with any girl who seems to be interested. The girl you like will think she doesn't care if she sees you flirting with others.
Part 3 of 3: Know what to talk about
Step 1. Ask her questions
When you talk to the girl you like, you need to make her feel special. People appreciate people who show interest in them, and this girl is no exception. If she realizes that you value her thoughts, she will feel attracted to you as a result.
- Ask her what she thinks about different topics, even if they are minor. Let's take an example. You wore a shirt your friend doesn't like. Ask her for her opinion to find out if your friend is right. Tell her that her judgment is what really matters. You will make her laugh and feel important.
- Pay attention to what she does and what she says so you can ask her questions about it. For example, if between one thing and another she tells you that she does mountaineering, ask her why she started doing it and why she likes it. People love to talk about themselves, so ask them another question about what they think before monopolizing attention by telling them in detail about your life.
Step 2. Listen
Nowadays, people have lost the ability to (really) listen to each other. Real communication can only take place when you take the trouble to absorb the words of your interlocutor instead of thinking about what you will say immediately afterwards or what you will eat for dinner.
- For example, if you are at a party and the music prevents you from speaking, look into her eyes when you speak, ask her questions and, if you get distracted, ask for clarification (you can use chaos as an excuse: "There's nothing here. what you said?").
- To do this, don't play nervously with objects that come your way, constantly look from one side of the room to the other, or check your cell phone when talking to her. He'll think that deep down you don't care what he has to say.
Step 3. Make her laugh
Laughter is an effective way to bond with someone. This doesn't mean you have to be the clown of the class (in fact, it would probably be best avoided). Instead, try to make her laugh by saying something funny. Now, everyone has a sense of humor of their own, and it would be better to understand what makes her double with laughter. However, there are strategies that rarely fail.
- Make fun of yourself. You don't have to make big disparaging speeches (in fact, that would make you look unsafe), but a few self-deprecating jokes will make her laugh and show her that you don't take yourself too seriously. For example, tell her that you were hit by a soccer ball in the head the day before because you were distracted, or tell her that you once walked into the wrong classroom at school.
- Tell her about a funny anecdote or skit you recently witnessed. It should be a little banal and hilarious story. For example, ask her if she ever happened to be in the middle of a demonstration on the street, and then tell her that a few days earlier you ended up there by mistake and everyone thought you were participating too.
Step 4. Flirt with her
Courtship can be a double-edged sword, and should be used with caution. Since we're all different, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to flirting with someone. A sense of humor and eye contact are two useful means, but you can discreetly flirt in other ways as well.
- Unless this girl is obviously crushed on you, persistent flirting can discourage her. Keep this in mind when you are with her. If you don't know how to flirt, eye contact and humor can come to your rescue.
- Flirting via SMS can be a useful and easier to manage type of courtship. Obviously, it must be a means to add to personal interactions. Messages need to be short, and sometimes a picture is worth more than 100 words (especially if it's nice; Not send explicit photos, unless you have actually asked for them!). You better have a good reason to send a message. You could say to her, "I saw it and thought of you" (with a photograph attached).
- Giving her the right compliments at the right time is great for expressing interest and flirting. Avoid the hackneyed ones, like "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" (turns out to be insincere). Instead, prefer phrases like “Have you noticed that your sweater makes your eyes stand out? It's a beautiful color”or“I was sure you would get 10. You're so smart…”.
Step 5. Tell her how you feel
At the end of the day, the best way to deal with the girl you like is to state your feelings, otherwise she may never know. It can be quite difficult or scary to get naked like this (and it's a very brave act). Otherwise, however, you would find yourself in an embarrassing stalemate.
- Don't do it in front of everyone. Pick a time and place where you are both sober and with a good mindset. Just say, "Hey, I wanted to tell you that I really like you so much, and I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me."
- Don't do this over the phone, text, or on social networks, as it will seem like a cowardly gesture, and girls don't find that a particularly attractive feature.
- Respect their decision, even if they refuse you. A no can hurt a lot, but remember it's not personal. The girl would decline your proposal, not you (maybe she has other things on her mind, she's already engaged, she likes women, etc.). You can ask her why, if you really want. If she tells you she's not interested, accept the response and close it there.
- If he says yes, then great! Now you can organize a fun first date. The relationship may not necessarily work, but you have shown that you are brave by asking her to go out and be a true gentleman to treat her respectfully.
Advice
- Make her feel as comfortable as possible when she is with you. Be kind and open.
- Remember to be nice to everyone. This is not only good for your reputation, it also allows you to find new friends who know you better. If, on the other hand, they don't like you, it will greatly decrease the chances of winning her.
- Never give her the impression that he's just doing it for fun or tease her when you really don't care about her. He won't forgive you.
Warnings
- Don't follow her wherever she goes. You would give her the impression of being weird or creepy. He will ask himself: "Why do I always find him at my feet?".
- Don't ask your friend to come forward and invite her out for you (if you are at that point). Most girls find that he is not very brave or that the guy in question has no serious intentions. He will probably refuse because he will think it is a joke!
- Avoid lying to her at all costs (even in the case of small lies). The lies can build up, and at some point they will start haunting you.
- Being with a girl you've been friends with for centuries could ruin the relationship. However, if you both behave with maturity, it shouldn't.
- Many recommend making the girl of your dreams jealous. Many times, however, women think they don't have the slightest chance in such a case. An appreciation of another girl will hurt her not a little, whether she wants to go out with you, or whether she wants to be your friend.
