Every woman dreams of finding the perfect man, the difficult thing is to turn this dream into reality. There is no way to have the guarantee that you will meet him, but there are methods to follow to greatly increase your chances. Read on to find out what you can do to find the man of your dreams.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Regulating the Way of Thinking
Step 1. Understand yourself
Be aware of your real needs and distinguish them from the expectations of others. Be honest with yourself about your flaws, you need to meet someone who considers your flaws to be mild and forgivable and appreciates your strengths. Sometimes they are the same: a determined and enterprising person can be described as stubborn by someone who doesn't like them. Try to reverse any criticism that has been made of you, turn it into a compliment, and ask if it's true.
- Really knowing yourself will allow you to be much more prepared for meeting others. While personal growth is a lifelong process, if you are struggling to understand who you are, it will be even more difficult to understand what you want in a relationship.
- Being aware of your shortcomings and being ready to deal with them will also make you better prepared to deal with problems that arise in a relationship. If you are convinced that you are perfect, there is very little chance that you are willing to compromise.
Step 2. Don't expect perfection
If you find it, so much the better. But admit it, you're not perfect. Nobody is. If you are looking for a 100% perfect man, you will never find him. As a result, quickly forgive those little mistakes or annoying habits that don't matter and hopefully he does the same by glossing over your imperfections. Understand what kind of annoying habits irritate you enough to be a breaking point and be honest about it, and which ones aren't a major problem for you. If you can't stand a forgetful man, you may have to look elsewhere to find one who never forgets an anniversary or a commission.
- If you expect perfection, you will be too demanding to be able to notice if the man in front of you is the right one after all. Let's say you go out on a first date with a guy you think is "okay" and decide not to see him again; why not adopt the rule of going on at least for a couple of appointments before discarding it?
- If you reject a guy who doesn't meet all the criteria on your checklist for "the perfect man", you may miss out on some incredible qualities you didn't even know you were looking for.
- Just remember: not expecting perfection doesn't mean being ready to settle down. You'd be better off being alone than ending up with a guy you think about: it's "pretty good" or "it's better than being alone".
Step 3. Be happy to be alone
If you want to be ready to find the man of your dreams, you must be happy with the company of yourself before starting the search. Forget the myth of finding the man who completes you or who represents the other half of you; you should already feel like a fulfilled, complete being, whose life will be improved by the presence of the right man, but not completed.
- You should have given enough meaning to your life through friendships, work, outside interests, to make yourself happy with yourself but ready to commit.
- To grow as a person and be ready to meet the perfect man, you should dedicate a few moments each week to the so-called "time for yourself", which is indispensable. If you spend all your free time with friends or family, you're more likely to be codependent.
- If you value your company, you will also be a more fun person to get to know, as you will be stimulated to talk about all the things that are important to you.
Step 4. Love yourself
This is another important aspect. If you want to be able to find the man of your dreams, you must love yourself for who you are. It doesn't mean that you have to completely love every side of yourself, but that you trust the person you are and are happy with what you have to offer. Awareness of your flaws is part of the love you have for yourself and will make you a much more down to earth person in a relationship.
- You don't have to brag about the incredible person you are - you just need to know that deep down you are a deserving person.
- Finding the man of your dreams will not automatically make you love yourself. You will have to work on it to build self-confidence on your own.
- Certainly finding the right man will make you love yourself even more. But to begin with, there must be love for yourself for it to work.
Step 5. Get experience
Yes women, you will need to have your own experiences before you can find the "right one" and know what you want. Even if Mr. Giusto falls directly at your feet as soon as you finish high school or university and you shouldn't miss it, in all probability you will have to search through your personal belongings to find the hidden diamond. Dating multiple men will help you get a better sense of how you go about dating and your real expectations in a relationship.
- You shouldn't hang out with people you obviously don't like just to gain experience, but you should think about becoming an open-minded woman and dating several people, even if it means leaving your safe environment for a moment.
- Doing some experience will also help you understand how difficult it is to find "the perfect man"; every man is different and has a lot to offer, but no one is perfect. If you expect perfection but never date anyone, it will be much harder to break this illusion.
Part 2 of 4: Know What You Want
Step 1. Define the qualities of the man of your dreams
While it's possible you may never know exactly who your dream man might be until you see him across the room and gasp, you should definitely have a clear sense of the type of man you are looking for during your search.. The qualities you desire should not be read as part of a checklist to complete in order for you to find the right guy, but you should strongly consider the qualities you feel are essential to aspire to the "perfect" relationship. Here are some aspects to consider:
- The person's attitude in relationships. This is always an important and underestimated aspect that needs to be considered. If you are the type of person who needs 24/7 attention (usually not a good idea), you will need to find a man with similar needs; if, on the other hand, you want to find love but you need your time to go out with friends and dedicate yourself to yourself, it is important that you and your man think the same way.
- The interests of the person. Is it essential that your perfect man loves books, hiking, running, painting, tennis or volunteering as much as you do? If you feel your core interests need to be shared by your loved one, look for a guy who shares those interests, or who is at least enthusiastic about learning.
- Aspects of personality. While you may not be able to tell what makes a personality "perfect" for you, there are some characteristics you can look for. Do you like to make people laugh and do you need a guy who shares your strange sense of humor? Are you a sensitive type and need someone who understands your emotions? Good. If you cannot do without these qualities in a man, do not force yourself to do so.
- Attitude in society. Are you a shy type and need someone to get you out of your shell? Are you outgoing and are you looking for someone to hold you back a little, or do you want someone with an attitude similar to yours in order to be understood? Sometimes opposites attract into this category (you may not want to be with someone as needy of attention as you, for example), but you should find your other half among people, whoever that may be.
- His ability to get along well with your friends and family. Do you need a guy who gets along well with your friends and family, or is it something you can do without? If you spend most of your free time with friends and family and you need someone who can join you, you should aim for this element during your research.
- Religion. If you are Jewish and need someone who shares the same religion as you or who is willing to convert, you can narrow your search right from the start.
- Family values. If you are sure you want two or more children, but you meet a man who says he hates children, you shouldn't try to fix it and change it, it will be much more difficult than you imagine.
Step 2. Define the break points
The features you don't want can be just as important as the ones you need. If there are some breaking elements that prevent you from making a relationship work, no matter how hard you try, it is better to know what they are from the beginning instead of trying to hold on to the end. These characteristics have to do with your priorities and what you are not willing to put up with under any circumstances; you don't have to be ashamed to admit what they are. Here are some features that could represent breaking points for you, whatever the cost:
- The lack of physical transport. However, you may be convinced that physical attraction can grow over time; it may not happen in your case. If the man of your dreams seems perfect but you can't even get aroused and feel sexual desire for him then Houston, you have a problem.
- Disagreements about something that is important to you. If you are obsessed with Mitt Romney and your partner is an environmental liberal, you may have fun in this situation of constant disagreement or simply realize that such divergences on core values will not work for you ultimately.
- Geographic incompatibility. If you are an actress who has to live in Los Angeles and he is determined to live in Missouri near his family, or even overseas, you may never be able to make things work if it's a matter you refuse to do. absolutely to reach a compromise.
Step 3. Be ready to compromise on some things
While you should keep your positions on what really matters to you and be on the lookout for any warning signs that the relationship won't work out, you should be open-minded when starting a new relationship, even though your list of "He has it" and "he misses it" are firmly rooted in your mind. When you meet the right man, you may find that you didn't even have a precise idea of what you were looking for, so get ready to take the path.
- Don't reject it just because it meets just 8 of your 10 key criteria. It may have other qualities that you didn't even know you wanted.
- If you are together with a person, but there is always an underlying divergence that you continue to bring up, you might be better off moving on instead of trying to fix something that is deeply broken.
- Ultimately you may find that it's all about balance. As long as each of you makes the other happy and meets most of his needs, you are ready for a great start.
Step 4. Know where to look
If you know what you are looking for the most is done; you just have to know where to look. If you know what the man of your dreams should be like but you spend all your time at home or in the wrong bars, you will never meet him. The important thing is to be open to love regardless of where you go, because basically no one can predict where you will meet the man of your dreams. However, knowing where to look can greatly increase your chances of meeting him. Here are some perfect places to look:
- Ask your friends. There is nothing to be ashamed of asking your friends to arrange a meeting; if you ask someone who really knows you and understands who you would get along with, you will have an excellent opportunity to find yourself on an organized appointment with the right person for you.
- Find someone who shares your interests. Join an association of road, hiking or acting runners and look for the guy who likes the same things that matter to you.
- Look for it at a party. Many people meet the love of their life at a party of a mutual friend; your friend can bring together several people who generally all get along well with each other and could trigger the spark after a few glasses of wine. If your friend invites you to a party at her home, be ready to accept the invitation.
- Connect to the internet. Welcome to the 21st century, woman. More and more people are meeting their soul mate on the internet, so don't criticize online dating if you haven't tried them.
Part 3 of 4: Conquer the Man of your Dreams
Step 1. Be the person you wish to marry
What kind of person are you attracted to? What kind of features should it have? To attract the kind of person you like, you need to have those characteristics too. Also, focus on complementary elements; if you are devoted to the house, you may be happier with a man who does not take care of chores in the kitchen, but who does not grumble about mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutter.
You don't have to be exactly the same as the man of your dreams, but if you want someone who is fun and confident, it would be useful to share these qualities in turn. It can bring out the best in you but it can't force you to take on a new personality
Step 2. Be an interesting person
Find a hobby or two that makes you stand out. Whether you like to play sports, paint, play a musical instrument or go to night clubs, surrounding yourself with people who have the same interests will increase your chances of meeting the man of your dreams while having fun at the same time. Do you think you have no hobbies? Try something creative, you may have a hidden talent and find it's fun. Go out and volunteer in your community.
- The more interests you have, the more likely you are to get along immediately with a man you meet. If you have five interests that are important to you, you're more likely to find a guy who shares at least one.
- The more interests you have, the less likely you are to be obsessed with finding the right guy, which will make you even more desirable.
Step 3. Make a good first impression
Even if the guy gets to know you over time, you should start off on the right foot. Make an effort to be nice while you are in your safe environment when you know you will have the opportunity to meet men. Even if you are having a bad day or you just don't feel like going out, you should always be ready with a smile and a joke, because you never know when you will find the man of your dreams.
If your way of dressing expresses a subculture, recreating the style of the barbarians or medieval or otherwise, you will have a better chance of finding someone within that subculture, but you could dissuade the boys who instead follow a traditional style. Artists are often attracted to women who dye their hair, while more traditional guys may not be
Step 4. Avoid being codependent
A codependent relationship brings out the worst in both partners and ruins life. If you grew up in a codependent environment, seek psychological counseling and learn to overcome the habits of codependency before seriously embarking on a love relationship. You'd better take your time instead of enduring the emotional, and perhaps physical, abuse of codependency. The result is this: abuse.
If you are willing to give up everything you like about yourself for the man you are with, then you have a very serious problem
Step 5. Be authentic
Do not try to be who you are not, or you may be hired for a small part that has nothing to do with who you are. If you're usually casual and all the times you see each other you get dressed up, he might reasonably expect to see you dressed like this all the time and will be disappointed once you get together. If you pretend you don't like books and are in a relationship with him, you may end up spending the rest of your life arguing every time you want to place an order on Amazon.
If you try to be someone else just to win him over, he will eventually find out and have the impression of being made fun of
Step 6. Don't be too hasty
This is a fundamental aspect for being together with the man of your dreams. If you love him from the first moment, fine, but don't blurt it out right away unless you're sure you've created the most magical alchemy with him from the start. If you can see him as your husband, the father of your children, perfect, but don't mention it on your third or tenth date. Let things take their course before you both have the seriousness that will allow you to talk about your future.
- If he is really the man of your dreams, it is obvious that you want to tell him. However, if you find that it's too early, you might look a little desperate.
- At first, take things lightly. Go to him once or twice a week at the most, but don't call him every day and don't try to see him as much as possible, otherwise you will scare him away.
Part 4 of 4: Making the Relationship Last
Step 1. Don't lose it for lack of affection
While being too hasty can be a problem, not letting your man know how important he is to you can be just as much. If you've been together for some time and you haven't told him how important he is to you yet or you haven't worked hard to be his half who completes it, then you may be closer to losing him than you think. While men generally dislike being showered with love and affection, they love to be told they are doing something good.
- This does not mean that you should rush to say "I love you" or say it before you really think it. Instead, it means that you should be aware that men also love to be praised.
- When you are together, if he likes to hold your hand, hug you tenderly or kiss you, reciprocate these gestures of affection. If he has the impression that he is always taking the initiative first, he may not realize that you are taken by him.
Step 2. Make sure you are compatible
This is a vital element in the survival of any serious relationship. Your man might be perfect on paper, but you should also be compatible when you are together. This means laughing with ease, having great conversations and almost never running out of topics to talk about, seeing the little things the same way, and being able to spend a day or a week or a month together without arguing every two seconds.
- Compatibility isn't something you can force, but it should be something you can research.
- If you find yourself arguing often, ask yourself if it means that you are simply not made of the same cloth or if both of you prefer to solve problems by arguing.
Step 3. Be patient
Give time to time, woman. Do not rush to the altar after six months of immense joy / happiness. If you really want it to last, you need to have the patience to get through months or years of a stable relationship before attempting to force marriage, children, or any other serious decision on your man. At least for the first year, simply enjoy moments together by working to develop a strong bond before trying to jump to the next level.
- If you wish to make your relationship fail quickly, you should talk about marriage as soon as possible.
- Every relationship is different. Don't worry about your friends who got engaged after only one year who were together and try to convince you in every way to do the same even if it is not good for you.
Step 4. Share the same long-term goals
If you both intend to focus on careers in the near future, great. If you are both ready for marriage and children, great. And if it's okay to live where you are for the rest of your life, even better. Unfortunately, however, it is not often that you can be so in tune with your partner. If you are, great. Otherwise, you should make sure you share as many long-term goals as possible so that you can continue on the journey together.
- Of course you should both be willing to find compromises, but this will be much easier if your way of thinking about the future is not profoundly different.
- It goes without saying that the most important long-term goal to share should be to develop your relationship. You should both be 100% involved in the relationship to be able to move forward.
