If you think you have Peter Pan syndrome, learning to break free of the routine can help you get on the right path to maturity. To be defined as "adults" it is not age that matters: it is more a matter of attitude. The more you discover yourself and learn to understand yourself, the more you will mature. Prepare properly for the future, enjoy the later years of adolescence, and approach adulthood with grace and dignity. Read on to learn more.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Discover Yourself
Step 1. Immerse yourself in your talents
What makes you unique? What makes you special? Take advantage of your late teens and early 20s to transform yourself into the adult you aspire to. Your interests, talents and abilities will allow you to get a sense of who you will become, so it's important to use your late teens to explore these skills and dream big. What do you want to do? Who do you want to become? Explore yourself.
Take advantage of these years to play in musical bands, play sports, act, paint and read for pleasure. Explore hobbies for which you have innate skills, but also discover activities you ignore. Try new pastimes that you can indulge in, such as photography or dancing. You may find that you are really good at something, even if you never expected it
Step 2. Start thinking about where you will be in 10 years
You don't have to plan your entire life when you're just 20, but it's important to start thinking about what you want to do for the rest of your life. Do you want to go to university? Are you studying subjects of your interest and making plans for the future? Do you want to start earning revenue as soon as possible? Will you take your band on tour and live like a rock star? Will you travel? Make a list of your priorities and desires to make sure you meet the goals you set out to be as a young adult. Start implementing the actions needed to make your dreams come true.
- If you are interested in enrolling in university, start researching about it and think about the most suitable degree course for you. Find out which universities in the area might be right for you, but also consider the universities of your dreams. You must know the amount of the tuition, the financial availability of your family, the possibility of receiving a scholarship and all the other costs that an academic education would entail.
- If you want to start working, take the time to develop a personal budget, set financial goals, and figure out what types of jobs that fit your background would earn you the money you need. Research the training and skills you need for these types of professions so you can start preparing right away.
Step 3. See new places and have lots of experiences
To expand your horizons and discover the customs and traditions of other peoples around the world, it is important to get involved and observe firsthand. Visiting other places and making time for foreign cultures should be two priorities on the path to adulthood. It can be a touching and meaningful experience for many young adults.
- Traveling does not have to be a pleasure activity for the privileged. If you work hard all year and can't afford a vacation or a semester of study abroad, still try to organize trips that suit your budget. Visit interesting places nearby but you have never seen before. Discover neighborhoods you usually ignore. Become a tourist in your own city.
- The World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF) organization allows willing people from multiple countries to work abroad. There are also other associations, such as humanitarian ones, which offer volunteer and travel experiences. Help out, get involved and see new places.
Step 4. Make friends with different types of people you respect
Give yourself the opportunity to socialize with as many people as possible. Get to know yourself better by spending time with hardworking people you admire, shape your behaviors inspired by individuals you respect. Cultivate healthy relationships and you will live healthier yourself.
- Look for a professional role model. At work, find a person who approaches the profession in a way that you admire; learns from his actions. If this colleague keeps away from gossip and petty company policies, letting his job do the talking, imitate him. Collaborate and be supportive.
- Look for a role model in life. As we grow up, it's easy to lose sight of old friends and stop making new friends. One day you get up and find that the only people you have a daily relationship with are your work colleagues. Nurture friendships with people who engage in activities other than yours, but with whom you share interests or hobbies. For example, a friend with whom you share a passion for record collecting installs air conditioning while you are a teacher. This doesn't mean you can't continue to nurture the relationship. In fact, you have in common the interest of going to look for old vinyls, and this is what counts.
Step 5. Be honest with yourself
As the years go by, you gradually get to know yourself. If you tend to be lazy, give weight to small things, or put off commitments often, these personality traits shouldn't catch you by surprise as you turn 20 and prepare to enter the world of work. A teenager can get away with ignoring their responsibilities, and can use the excuse of young age. However, an adult needs to be realistic and honest about their flaws, challenges, and growth experiences. Maturing takes a lot of work.
- Identify your strengths. What are you particularly good at or capable of? Take the time to find your strengths and features you are proud of.
- Identify your weaknesses. What do you need to work on? What is stopping you from getting what you want? It is important to identify the parts that need improvement: to fix the foundation to strengthen the house.
Part 2 of 3: Behaving in a Mature Way
Step 1. Learn to recognize your childhood traits and control them
There is no switch to mature to mature, so there is no obvious break point between adolescence and adulthood. However, growing up doesn't imply giving up your carefree side completely, it just means learning to control infantile tendencies and channel this great energy towards more mature goals and ambitions. Recognize your childhood characteristics, so you can use them to your advantage.
- Childhood behaviors tend to be chaotic. Children are often disorganized, unprepared, sometimes they run wildly in the wrong direction; Youth can be synonymous with confusion. Although many adults live in a busy and full way, chaos, or the inability to control or structure themselves in the face of stress and their work, is certainly a symptom of a childish attitude. Identify the chaotic parts of your life and channel your energies to rearrange them.
- Children are not autonomous. An adult needs to tie a child's shoes, feed them, and offer emotional support. An adult is more independent, able to raise their children precisely because they are characterized by a greater degree of autonomy. As you grow, strive to learn different actions on your own, less dependent on others.
- Childish attitudes can lead to resentment. If you are childish, you may thrill when a co-worker gets a promotion and you don't, or when a person you flirted with in high school gets married. Resentment is the adult equivalent of childish tantrums. If things don't go your way, you sow frustration and let it turn into resentment and anger, like a child does. To react in an adult way, you can express this annoyance in a healthy way, analyze the situation rationally and move on.
Step 2. Learn to say no
Teenagers are impulsive. They say yes to another drink or a long night out, even though they know they shouldn't. They don't show up for work because they wake up one morning and decide to take a ride in the car. Becoming an adult means learning to draw limits, move away from the classic adolescent mentality and make autonomous decisions. If your friends go to a music festival but you fear you won't be able to leave the office early to join them, you need to learn to say no. Being responsible sometimes means turning down tempting proposals.
If you focus on your future goals by making short-term decisions that will point you in the right direction, you will grow much more. Taking a day off from work to play Halo with a co-worker will seem tempting, but if you miss every single opportunity to get a raise, you will be stopping yourself from achieving your goals, and that is a sign of immaturity
Step 3. Dress appropriately for your age
When you need to go out or work, leave low-value cargo shorts and t-shirts in the drawer. Men and women should wear clean, professional and appropriate clothing for the occasion. You don't have to throw away old clothes that are now falling apart: you can wear them at home or on the weekend to feel young and free.
Step 4. Take care of your body
An adult can no longer eat pizza, chips and hot dogs for breakfast. When you graduate, you need to change your eating and clothing habits.
Exercise and eat responsibly. Eating habits change when you go to live alone. Many kids who move away to study stop playing sports and start eating junk food constantly. Weight rises, and it can be very difficult to get rid of bad eating habits or start exercising. Don't get fat because of this change
Step 5. Cope with setbacks like an adult
Children throw tantrums when things don't go their way. Teenagers sulk. Adults take responsibility for their actions, resolve setbacks and go their own way. Becoming an adult means learning to cope with failure and to persevere despite everything. When something doesn't go the way you want or expect, you can't throw in the towel.
A hard truth about the world: Just because you deserve something doesn't mean you'll get it. Keep your goals in mind, be happy, and don't let injustices demoralize you. Life is hard and everyone has to overcome obstacles - including you
Step 6. Form and nurture lasting relationships
During your youth, many relationships are based on certain circumstances - make friends with your schoolmates, co-workers or acquaintances. When you become an adult, however, it can happen that you move elsewhere, leave old friends to find new ones. It can be difficult to know which links will be long-term and which are circumstantial. Distinguish between them and make a concrete commitment to maintain the relationships you care about. Stay in touch with your closest friends, visit them and participate in their lives.
With the onset of adulthood, it is also normal to have lasting romantic relationships. If you'd rather flirt and test the waters, try dating one person for a couple of months to draw conclusions about it. If, on the other hand, you tend to have long-term relationships, don't be afraid to end a relationship that no longer works just because you like the security that comes with it. Know yourself
Step 7. Learn to put yourself in others' shoes
Get to know other people, discover their lives and try to learn new perspectives on the world. Take concrete actions to better understand people who are very different from you. Teenagers often think they are more open than their parents, but then, after the age of 20, they realize that they have grown up with preconceptions about social class, race, gender and other factors that are now firmly planted in their minds. Becoming an adult means learning to understand others and show solidarity.
- Hang out with people much older than you and learn all you can from them. Teenagers often feel distant from those over 30, while adults know how to recognize wisdom when they see it. At work, in your community, and in any other social setting, first try to make friends with people from generations prior to yours. Try to get infected by their wisdom. Approach that lifelong co-worker or senior member of the parish.
- Read in a wide and varied way to discover other points of view. Learn about various political ideologies before committing to follow one and fully identify with its values.
Step 8. Be trustworthy
The words of an adult must be supported by actions. If you say you will do something, do it. Cultivating relationships, jobs and the various opportunities of the world will be difficult if you are not a reliable person. Children and teens can get away with making mistakes, but their behaviors are justifiable. Adults, on the other hand, must act accordingly. People need to be sure they can count on you.
Always treat friends, family and co-workers with respect. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you show no regard for those around you, you will likely be repaid in the same coin. A respectful attitude is not always reciprocated, but you will make much more progress in life and will be much happier
Step 9. When you go out in the evening, do it responsibly
Over time, the hangover you recovered from at 21 without any problems begin to have heavier consequences. The body reacts with less flexibility. In addition, what in college is mere dissolute, mischievous behaviors around the age of 30 may begin to seem like signs of desperate and deranged behavior. When your days start to rely on parties and nighttime events, and you don't go to work because you come home at dawn, then it's time to grow up.
Everything must be done in moderation. Growing up doesn't mean you stop having fun - it means you need to plan a little more. If you have children, call a babysitter. Also, try to go out when you know you have no plans the next day
Step 10. Be open and don't get defensive
Adults are self-confident and emotionally mature, so impulsive reactions become useless at a certain age. When the boss tells you your job isn't acceptable or your partner makes comments about your poor personal hygiene, don't make excuses. Get things right.
Avoiding getting defensive doesn't mean you have to stop asserting yourself or become a doormat in the face of people's aggression. Instead, an emotionally mature person knows how to receive constructive criticism without becoming defensive or indignant. Be open to your mistakes, but stand up for the right time. Learning to distinguish between situations is part of growing up
Part 3 of 3: Living Responsibly
Step 1. Search for a job
The first employment is an essential step to grow. Unless you live on income, you have to work as an adult. Some enter the world of work early, during high school, while others wait for the years of university or after graduation to start a profession. There is no right time to start, but getting used to a job is essential to consider yourself an adult.
A part-time job can be ideal for developing the necessary professional skills and gaining some extra income if you are still being supported by your parents. Either way, progress gradually towards a more independent way to earn money
Step 2. Make a budget
It can be hard to resist the temptation to squander your first salaries to buy a Gibson Les Paul and two tickets to Ibiza, but this kind of spending is typical of a teenager. Put your money in the bank and start saving. Establish a balanced budget that allows you to live comfortably: take into account mandatory monthly expenses, savings and disposable income. Try to balance the financial obligations of the present with the steps required to achieve long-term goals.
- Monthly expenses include rent, bills, and food. You must already have a fairly concrete idea of the various outputs. When it comes to food, calculate a slightly higher spending cap than what you really need. If you're not sure, carefully track the average amount of money you spend at the grocery store each week, then multiply by four.
- If possible, try to start saving early. Setting aside a certain percentage of your monthly wages in a savings account can help you build up significant amounts over the months and years. Even if you can only save 50 euros a month, you will still be taking a necessary step towards adulthood.
Step 3. Pay your bills on time
When you leave your parents' home, it is possible that you will face some difficult times initially. It is difficult to become financially independent immediately after graduation or while studying. However, you can start taking small steps to achieve financial freedom and become responsible. Your goal should be to carefully follow a budget and not rely on other people financially.
Paying your bills and rent yourself are not indifferent first steps; later try to take care of phone bills, car bills and other expenses you have as well. Make a smooth transition to become financially independent
Step 4. Try to be creditworthy
Pay your bills on time and avoid getting into debt. Every time you sign a contract, request a service or use your credit card, you make a commitment to pay what you owe and build your creditworthiness. In the future, this will help you get a loan to buy a house or make other investments.
- Young people often don't have a clue how credit cards are used. It's not free money - don't let debt pile up, promising yourself you'll worry about it later. If you have a credit card and use it to make purchases, then pay the amount you owe as soon as it is debited. To avoid making mistakes, treat a credit card as if it were a prepaid card.
- Pay back your loans on time, pay your bills on time and everything you owe. Don't waste money unnecessarily on paying interest rates: set up automatic charges online for monthly bills. Another way to avoid squandering is to strictly follow your budget.
Step 5. Start saving
Put some money in a savings account and don't touch it for unnecessary expenses. It's easy to find a compelling reason to use your savings for the purpose of buying a classic car, but consider your long-term economic goals and leave that money in the bank.
Also inquire about the payment of pension contributions. Go to INPS and ask for information about your particular situation, or do a search on the site
Step 6. Don't overspend
In other words, before making a purchase, consider whether you can afford it and plan how you will pay for it. If you don't know when you will be able to pay off a debt, don't buy on credit. Don't run big debts when you know you can't pay off.
- It's hard to buy a house, car, or other expensive goods with cash alone, so chances are that at some point in your life you'll end up taking out loans and paying off debts. Talk to a financial advisor to find out which options and interest rates are right for you, and work with this professional to find a solution that fits your financial situation.
- If you can, consolidate your debts. Repaying multiple loans each month can be confusing and frustrating, especially if you don't have enough money to pay to reduce your main debt; as a result, the process takes longer.
Step 7. Be ambitious at work and embrace new responsibilities
Growing up, being willing to make new commitments and fight for your job is a sign of maturity. Be determined.
- Volunteer for leadership roles in the workplace if such an opportunity presents itself. Don't worry about whether or not you will be the right employee for a certain position.
- While you should cultivate a reputation as an ambitious person at work and in your relationships, don't be afraid to turn down requests that are incompatible with your personal goals. Being ambitious does not mean accepting everything that is offered to you - instead you should actively create opportunities to advance towards your long-term goals.
Advice
- Maturity does not necessarily occur at a certain age. Years go by for everyone, but not everyone matures.
- Avoid depending on others - you have to define your goals. Life is yours. Stop complaining and try to understand that in fact you are the architect of your destiny: you came into the world empty-handed, and you will leave the same way. Everything in between is your doing.
- Growing up doesn't mean standing up to your parents. They can still help you on the path to independence.
- It is you who forge your life and the first to believe in your worth. If you don't deem yourself worthy of something, others will perceive it and act accordingly. If you don't like yourself, ditto. Don't you appreciate what you are? Deeply self-analyze to improve those parts of yourself that you want or need to change.
