If you and your partner have been together for a long time, you may have sometimes felt too tired, stressed and distracted to truly appreciate her. When this happens, you should take some time to rekindle your romantic relationship. It's important to remember why you love your partner and bring back some of the romantic fun of the early stages of your romance. Renewing the bond with your partner is important for both of you, because it can help you live and coexist better.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Making Small Gestures with Big Impact
Step 1. Laugh together
Laughter is contagious, it helps people feel more relaxed and comfortable. Laughing and having a good sense of humor are habits that can ease the pressure in your relationship, as well as help you cope with the inevitable ups and downs of a life together. Find out about the things your partner likes and finds funny.
- Remember episodes from the day that made you laugh and share them with your partner when you get home.
- Find a TV show that makes both of you laugh and make a regular date to watch it together.
Step 2. Let your partner understand that you will always be by their side
There's no need to have long conversations every day, but hearing from time to time is very important. Remind the other person how you feel and that you are available when they need you. Texting to demonstrate your level of engagement can help improve intimacy. Remember to say:
- "I love you".
- "I admire you".
- "I miss you".
- "I'm sorry today was a bad day. Can I help you somehow?".
- "I can not wait to see you".
- "I'm sorry to see you like this. Can I do something?".
Step 3. Find original ideas for your appointments
Avoid mundane outings, such as restaurant dinner and cinema. In a serious relationship, it's important to try new things to keep the magic alive. If you go out for dinner, try new restaurants and dress up every now and then. Try the following ideas:
- Go dance.
- Throw a party.
- Go to the beach.
- Go ice skating.
- Visit the thermal baths.
- Try the karaoke.
- Take a cooking class together.
Step 4. Make small gestures of love
The "little things" can include writing a note declaring your love, taking out the trash, or cooking dinner yourself when your partner is exhausted. These small gestures show that you pay attention to his feelings. Often many actions work better for some couples than others, and not all people enjoy the same things. The important thing is that they are sincere gestures, done with the heart.
- If you and your partner enjoy movies, plan a special movie night just for the two of you, complete with your favorite snacks.
- Surprise your partner with a small gift, such as flowers or something related to her hobbies.
Part 2 of 4: Feeling Close Again
Step 1. Have open-hearted conversations
Even if you may not have been able to stay away from each other in the early stages of your relationship because you were talking all night, over time the discussions can become more boring, focusing mainly on money, children and obligations to respect.. Find time to bond and talk about the topics you both care about.
- Start a book club for just the two of you.
- Learn something new about each other by asking yourself questions with "How" and "What". For example, "What do you remember about middle school" or "How was the move?". Remember to ask open-ended questions to allow the conversation to flow naturally.
- Don't criticize your partner if she doesn't talk to you. Instead, react positively by inviting her to tell you about her day over dinner, over a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine. Try saying, "I'd love to know what you did today. Let's sit down and you can tell me everything."
Step 2. Compliment your partner
Having a long-lasting relationship can lead you and your other half to take each other for granted, forgetting to say and do the cute gestures that cheered up the early stages of the relationship. Complimenting your partner will show her that you still care.
- Be specific. Instead of saying "You are beautiful", you can say "I love the way that dress makes your curves stand out", or "I love the way that shirt fits on you".
- Instead of saying, "You're so smart," try, "I admire your intellectual side and the sincere way you approach an argument."
Step 3. Focus on what unites you
While it's easier to focus on the negative sides of a relationship, giving more weight to the positive ones helps the relationship thrive. It is especially important to always remember why you fell in love with each other.
- For example, you and your partner may have bonded because of your love of running, your religious faith, or because you share a desire to help others.
- Write a list of all the things that made you fall in love with your partner and ask her to do the same. You can sit back and compare what you have written, to recall the beginning of your relationship.
Step 4. Touch yourself every day
Contact with another person's skin causes the release of oxytocin, a hormone that in the long run increases feelings of intimacy. Don't view physical contact as a mere prelude to sex. Give each other a kiss in the morning, hug each other when you meet again and exchange relaxing massages at the end of a tiring day.
Hold hands and hold each other for a long time, especially in times of stress
Step 5. Make small changes to spice up your sex life
Take back control of your bedroom. If you live together, get rid of some of the items that shouldn't be in the room: the children's toys (if you have them), work papers, and clothes scattered on the floor. Buy some candles, get yourself new blankets and do whatever you can to make your room more intimate.
If you fall asleep while watching television, consider eliminating TVs, laptops, and other electronic devices from the room. Create a sense of intimacy by deciding, in agreement with your partner, not to bring tech gadgets into the bedroom when you are together
Step 6. Send a spicy message to your partner
Explain that you can't wait to see her, remind her of the last time you slept together, or send a suggestive photo of you. Surprises like these can really turn your partner on!
Don't send messages that make you uncomfortable; you should never feel pressure to send a spicy text message, not even to your partner
Part 3 of 4: Solving Long-Term Problems
Step 1. Improve your self-esteem
Having little faith in your own means can lead you to think that you don't deserve to be treated well or to believe that things will always go wrong. These thoughts can sabotage your relationship and eventually come true. You may get to "test" your partner to see if she really loves you, then feel justified in thinking, "I knew she was going to leave me." Instead of sabotaging your relationship, try to gain more self-confidence.
- If you have suffered for love in the past, heal those wounds and remember that you are worthy and deserving to give and receive affection.
- Instead of avoiding sexual intimacy because your body embarrasses you, learn to accept yourself as you are. If you decide to change your body (for example by losing weight), remember that achieving a healthy weight may not erase your insecurities and that only you can find the strength to feel comfortable with yourself.
Step 2. Learn to forgive
Resentment is the greatest danger to all relationships. If you and your partner hold a grudge about an unresolved issue that is ruining your relationship, it's time to forgive each other and move on. Talk openly and try to overcome your misunderstandings. If you still can't get over the problem, you may want to start couples therapy to get your romance back on track.
There is nothing wrong with seeking help from a psychologist, who can help you tremendously to bond and bring you closer emotionally
Step 3. Spend time apart
Just because you have a commitment to each other, you shouldn't spend every moment together. In fact, periods of separation can improve relationships, allowing you to release tension, hang out with friends and relax. Decide by mutual agreement with your partner how much time to stay apart and how much time to spend together, for example dedicating one evening a week, or a weekend a month, to going out alone.
- Throw a men-only night out from time to time, or visit an out-of-town spa to unwind.
- Being temporarily separated can make your relationship more exciting, giving you reason to look forward to the moment you are together again.
- Don't give up on your activities and hobbies when you are in a romantic relationship. Keep painting, dancing, drawing, or hitting the gym, even if you have to do it yourself.
Step 4. Go on a trip with your partner
A holiday together can bring a couple very close, especially since far from home all the attention is focused on the relationship and on the partner. Travel also makes it possible to forget the stressors of daily routine and to think only about life as a couple. You can try to organize the trip of your dreams, or a simple weekend out of town. List the places you've always wanted to visit and pick one that you both like. Every day, work hard to make your dream trip a reality. When you have finally reached your goal, create new memories together by taking photos and recording videos, to relive them in the future.
- You can go camping or hiking to enjoy nature, or plan a luxurious vacation in a five-star hotel. Traveling abroad can also be very exciting for a couple!
- If you have children, try to organize at least one vacation a year without the kids.
Part 4 of 4: Keeping Love Alive
Step 1. Become a good listener
Take the time to talk to your partner and, above all, to listen to her. Involve your partner, ask her questions, and think about what she is saying to you. Share your feelings openly and let your loved one do the same.
You can practice this kind of active listening by saying "I understand that you have problems in the relationship with your parents", or "I understand that work puts a lot of stress on you."
Step 2. Manage your stress
Work, family, and any other issues that require our attention can leave very little time for romantic relationships. Stress is a normal part of life, but chronic stress can cause a spike in cortisol, a hormone that reduces the desire for physical intimacy. As you can see, this can cause damage to your relationship in the long run. If possible, eliminate stressors from life and combat stress by regularly exercising, practicing yoga or meditating. Encourage your partner to do the same if the stress is making her difficult.
- Manage your schedule to avoid the stress of pressing deadlines. Take care of your duties as soon as possible, instead of letting them pile up, and use an agenda to organize your time.
- Spend more time on activities that keep you entertained. You can't always think about work; reserve at least one day a week for your passions.
Step 3. Undertake a long-term project with your partner
Find something that interests both of you and work to make it happen. Having a goal to aim for allows you to spend time together during the week and avoid the routine of typical family life. Here are some possible projects:
- Train for a sporting event, such as a triathlon.
- Learn a foreign language, then visit a country where it is spoken.
- Build a boat, a small house or a garden.
Step 4. Try something new
Sharing a new experience together can increase your level of intimacy. Choose an activity that none of you have done before, maybe even slightly scary. By suffering nervousness together and facing a challenge, you can get close and have something very interesting to tell your friends.
- Try rock climbing, skydiving or paragliding.
- Take a hike into nature.
- Take a raw food cooking class.
Step 5. Find ways to focus on a larger view of life
Having a long-term relationship can lead you to turn all your attention only to yourself or your partner. To rekindle the flame of your love, you may have to leave this mentality behind. Look for ways to broaden your horizons and renew your bond through the following experiences:
- Try participating in religious activities together. If you and your partner share the same faith, you can attend a function together. If not, you can explore the different spiritual beliefs. It can be an opportunity to rekindle the passion between you.
- Consider volunteering. Volunteering with your partner can lead you not to think only of yourself and can allow you to bond by helping others. Ask for information at soup kitchens and animal shelters.
- Raise money together for a charity. This activity can also allow you to change your perspective. You can offer your help at a telethon-style event or run a charity march together.
