Tolstoy condensed his thoughts on this subject in a handful of words: "If you want to be happy, be happy". Fortunately, many others have offered more concrete advice. However, Tolstoy has always grasped the point by arguing that we must not seek happiness, but create it. To do this, you need to develop and maintain a positive attitude, set and achieve goals, and interact with others. By paying attention to the way you prepare yourself mentally, concretely evaluating what you want to achieve and cultivating sincere relationships with the people who are part of your life, you can create and live in a state of authentic happiness.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Developing a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Recognize that happiness comes from your attitude
Try to change your mental patterns. You can't control every little aspect of your life, but you can manage your reactions. Remember, out loud if needed, that you are in control of the way you behave and see things. Mentally focus on improving what's good in your life and correct what's wrong. In practice, undertake everything that makes you happy.
- Don't dwell on the negative things, especially those about how you view yourself. Many people believe that working on their weaknesses is more important than improving their strengths. It's not true.
- Accept that happiness is something you can find on your own.
Step 2. Express your gratitude
While it may seem forced, focus on everything you are grateful for, whether it's a good emotion, the end of a period of depression, a better perception of your image, a busy social life or an improvement in your own. health conditions.
- Begin to acquire a grateful attitude by pausing before expressing your appreciation, even for every kindness that occurs in everyday life. This way you will give much more prominence to any kind of human contact.
- Write down everything you are grateful for. Whether it's a diary or a letter, write down all the positive aspects of your days that can make you happier. This exercise can also improve your ability to feel gratitude in general.
Step 3. Take immediate action to improve your mood
What you do also has a major effect on your happiness. If you find that your mood is getting worse, try some of the following methods:
- You smile. You may have heard this advice before. For more than 200 years there has been the theory that the physical expression of an emotion can convince the brain that that feeling is real. Billions of people do this every day.
- Jump (or, better yet, dance). You will feel like an idiot, but if a moment of embarrassment gives you so much positivity, it will be worth it. You may even laugh at yourself and smile without even straining.
- Try to deceive yourself by manipulating your voice. Listen to a recording of your voice, edited with a more cheerful timbre, and you will really feel happier. Download a free voice modification program.
Step 4. Recognize that you are not a reflection of your thoughts
We all have thoughts that worry or scare us. Ditch the most distressing and depressing ones immediately, unless you are trying to clarify your emotions with the help of a friend or a psychologist.
Step 5. Don't judge yourself
Stop saying or thinking "I must" or "I should". These phrases, spoken or even just thought, increase anxiety and discourage you from undertaking any project you have in mind. Rather, think that you "would like" or "hope" to do a certain thing. In this way you will acquire a mentality that pushes you to move forward with more optimism.
Part 2 of 4: Practicing Full Consciousness
Step 1. Use full consciousness
Pay attention to the present, without analyzing, evaluating or judging it. Connect with yourself by sitting in a quiet place and chasing away any thoughts that come to your mind, regardless of whether they are good or bad, important or insignificant. Breathe: Even one deep breath can immediately improve your mood. Focus on breathing to improve the ability to actively use full consciousness:
- Notice the physical sensation of the air entering and exiting the body.
- After a few breaths, the body will be visibly calmer.
- Let yourself be bathed in this calm. Rational dialogue with yourself will automatically diminish.
- The more fully conscious you become, the more contemplative thoughts will take the place of emotions and guide your mood. You will become more calm, stable and happy in daily life.
Step 2. Try several full consciousness exercises
Consider the practical and the meditative part as an exercise for the brain. There are various types of meditation that you can try right now:
- Do a mental body scan. Focus your attention on specific areas of the body, starting with your toes. Very slowly, move it along the rest of your body until it reaches the top of your head. Do not bend and do not touch the muscles. Just focus on the physical sensations you feel in each part and push away the thoughts that try to categorize the sensations you are experiencing.
- Meditate while walking. If you can't concentrate on your breath while sitting, try meditating while walking. Focus on the physical sensation of each step, the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm and movement generated by your breaths as you walk and the wind brushing your skin.
- Eat consciously. The next time you sit down at the table, focus your attention on the food. Put your phone away, don't read and don't watch anything. Eat slowly. Focus on the feel and flavor of each bite.
Step 3. Practice full consciousness at various times of the day
Bring full consciousness into your life perspective and you will notice subtle and positive changes in your mental horizon. You can increase the effect of these positive influences by paying attention to the moment they appear. Be careful when engaging in the following activities:
- Enjoy the daily rituals. The most fulfilling moments are those that are configured around a habitual behavior. Take a break when you drink coffee in the morning, take a walk around the neighborhood after lunch, or sit down with your puppy as soon as you get home. They may seem insignificant gestures, but repeated over time can guarantee calm and stability.
- Do one thing at a time. It is easy for the modern lifestyle to lead us to do a thousand things at the same time. In this way it is almost impossible to focus one's attention on a particular thing. Therefore, engage in one thing at a time so as to develop your focus, increase performance, and also enjoy normal daily activities.
- Stop and smell the scent of the flowers. When you are struck by the beauty or charm of something, stop and experience that moment fully. If you are with someone else, express your pleasure. By sharing your joy, you will amplify the physical and mental effects of the moments savored in a conscious way.
- Accept the most pleasant memories. When a good memory touches your mind, take a break and focus on the sensations it gives you. You can feel a beautiful emotion recalling it from your past.
Part 3 of 4: Set Realistic Goals and Achieve Them
Step 1. Set simple, achievable goals for each single day
You have the opportunity to improve your mood even by reaching seemingly insignificant goals. Choose them by considering other methods that involve personal care and improvement. For instance:
Go to bed first. Sleep at regular times, and resist the temptation to laze in bed on days when you don't have to get up early. By getting enough sleep, you will improve your emotional stability, you will be less prone to stress, you will become more productive and you will make better decisions. While everyone has their own needs, try to get 7-9 hours of rest every night
Step 2. Play sports
Try to exercise at least five days a week. Even moderate training can reduce depression and anxiety, and is recommended by health professionals because it improves mental well-being. If you choose a sport you enjoy, you will be much more likely to play it regularly.
Step 3. Learn about the benefits of physical activity
Encourage exercise by learning about the mental and psychological benefits of exercise, including:
- Improved memory and increased insight. The endorphins produced by exercise help concentration and also stimulate the growth of new brain cells.
- Greater self-esteem. By feeling stronger and fitter, you will be able to fuel your self-esteem. Plus, you'll feel much more fulfilled as you reach your fitness goals.
- Feeling of rest and more energy. You will be able to sleep better if you train during the day. At the end of the day, limit yourself to more relaxing activities, such as muscle stretching or some gentle yoga poses. Some more vigorous exercise is best in the morning, as it wakes you up and prepares you for the day both physically and mentally.
- Mental endurance. Train to face the challenges of everyday life. This way you will not depend on the most harmful mechanisms of adaptation to reality and will strengthen the immune system, which is vital when stress can have a negative effect on the body.
Step 4. Work less
If your job is literally consuming your life, cut back on hours. According to some research, those who put time before money are not only happier, but they are also doing better financially!
In a professional setting, set goals that challenge you, but are not impossible to achieve. You will be more satisfied if you commit yourself to work this way. In the meantime, complete all the tasks you've been given before you go home, so you can relax and enjoy the rest of the day
Part 4 of 4: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Surround yourself with positive people
Realize that those around you can affect you in many ways. In reality, the best measure of personal happiness is not money or health, but the strength of your personal relationships and the amount of time you spend in the company of the people you love.
- Go out! Know that life experiences provide longer pleasure than material objects - in part because they need to be shared with other people. Therefore, spend your free time and spend your money appropriately.
- Avoid relating to people who don't respect you and don't support you. This is especially true in the context of romantic relationships, since intimacy not accompanied by mutual understanding only fuels unhappiness.
Step 2. Add depth to your gestures of kindness
Be honest when you make a gesture of kindness. Maybe you are already used to holding the door open to the person behind you. Next time, do it with greater awareness. According to some research, you can receive an added emotional charge when you do a favor by putting your full effort into it, particularly when you are lovable. You will be appreciated more than when you do some nice gesture without any emotional involvement. Take being kind seriously and you will bring a little bit of happiness into your life and that of others.
Step 3. Volunteer
Build an environment around yourself where you have the opportunity to constructively interact with others. Realize that you can bring a ray of sunshine into your days while giving it to someone else. Volunteering can fuel your self-confidence, give your life new meaning, and reduce the feeling of social isolation. You will likely find several opportunities to volunteer within your community. Animal shelters, bookstores and social centers for the elderly are always looking for people who want to help.
Step 4. Interact with people younger than you
Remember that happiness is very contagious. According to some studies, young people are generally happier, while the elderly have more difficulty in this regard.
