Money, relationships, family, health, school, career. Problems can undermine any area of life. The more intense and longer it is, the more obstacles you will have to overcome. Therefore, it is essential to learn how to manage them effectively in order to safeguard personal health and serenity. By adopting strategies that will allow you to find the most suitable solutions to your problems and developing the necessary strength to face various situations, you will be able to manage yourself when life puts you in front of difficulties.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Developing Problem Solving Skills
Step 1. Identify the problem
Sometimes, when we are faced with a difficulty, we are unable to separate the problem from its symptoms. Therefore, it is necessary to identify and clearly define the problem in order to find a concrete solution.
For example, suppose you don't have enough money to pay your bills. Identify the source of the problem. Why are you short of cash this month? Perhaps you should find a higher-paying job that allows you to support a possible increase in expenses, do some overtime at work or stop spending unnecessarily on various entertainment
Step 2. Set your goals
In order to solve a problem, you need to adjust your goals based on the results you would like to achieve.
For example, if you are in a period of economic hardship, you may want to make more money or increase your income in some way
Step 3. Narrow the field
If there's a serious problem that forces you to set a larger goal, break it down into smaller steps. This will make it easier and more manageable to plan a solution and take the necessary steps to achieve it.
For example, if you intend to increase family income, you can streamline your goal by saving first € 100, then € 200, and so on until the figure increases. This is much more feasible than setting out to set aside € 500 right away
Step 4. Review all variables
Study all the variables at your disposal. Identify what steps you need to take to achieve your goal. Analyze each possibility so that you have a complete view of each stage.
To increase your income, consider working more hours, getting a higher paying job, or reducing your other expenses as variables to make more money available
Step 5. Implement the solution that best suits your goal
After studying each alternative, choose the most feasible one, which will allow you to achieve the results you hope to achieve.
If it is not the right time to find a new job or increase your working hours, the most practical alternative might be to find a way to cut other expenses
Step 6. Check the results
Once you have your chosen solution in place, reassess it after a certain period of time, to see if it has allowed you to achieve what you set out to do. If it hasn't been effective, you can go back to square one and see if you have another alternative available to help you accomplish your goals.
Part 2 of 4: Developing Defense Mechanisms
Step 1. Be aware of the negative aspects of chronic stress
It can be dangerous for health and psycho-physical well-being to manage the most stressful events without resorting to a healthy defense mechanism. Stress can cause health problems or worsen existing conditions. If you have this suspicion, consult your doctor. Here are some physical symptoms that indicate stress:
- Headache;
- Weight gain or loss
- Depression;
- Anxiety;
- Insomnia;
- Respiratory difficulties;
- Sleep disorders;
- Changes in appetite.
Step 2. Call a friend
When you feel stressed, you can relieve tension by calling your personal support network to help. The latter can offer you a sense of belonging, security and increases your self-esteem. If you call a friend or family member to let off steam or just to distract yourself from life's problems, you can defend yourself from what undermines your peace of mind.
Step 3. Dedicate yourself to something you enjoy
Maybe you are convinced that a pastime only serves to fill the time. In fact, hobbies allow us to recharge, relieve stress, learn new things, connect with others, and gain a different perspective.
Anything you enjoy doing could turn into a hobby. Try reading, writing, playing a sport, hiking, canoeing, skating, painting, gardening, and so on. The possibilities of finding a passion that keeps you busy on a regular basis are endless
Step 4. Relax every night
Surely you have heard of the importance of sleeping 7-8 hours a day (if not more if you are a teenager or a child). However, the quality and duration of sleep depends on how relaxed and peaceful you are before bedtime. If you are struggling with a thousand problems, you will probably have a hard time sleeping. Before going to bed, try to follow a sleep-inducing routine.
Relax by stretching, listening to relaxing music, taking a long hot bath or a nice massage
Step 5. Exercise
Problems can cause you to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. Don't give in to this temptation! If you stay physically active, you will face life with more grit. Sport promotes the production of feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. These chemicals lift your mood and give you that euphoric feeling that many refer to as a "runner's high".
Step 6. Relax
When life events bring you down, you need to have some remedies at hand to combat stress and calm down. Relaxation techniques can be performed virtually anywhere and anytime.
- Practice deep breathing. Take a good deep breath through your nose for a count of 4. Hold it for a moment and then push out the air for a count of 4. You should see your lower abdomen swell as you inhale and deflate as you exhale.
- Try progressive muscle relaxation. Go to a quiet place and sit comfortably on a chair or cushion. Slowly move each muscle group, contracting and relaxing it. Start with your toes: hold them straight for 5 seconds, focusing on the physical sensation of the contraction. Then let go of the tension and relax for about 30 seconds before moving on to another muscle group.
Part 3 of 4: Addressing Relational Problems
Step 1. Try to put yourself in others' shoes
Very often we come into conflict with people because we don't bother to understand their point of view. Empathy can help us in this regard. There are many ways to develop it. Here are some suggestions:
- Try to understand instead of thinking about how you should respond. During a conversation, you are likely to focus on what you have to say. Conversely, when interacting with someone, take the time to really listen to what they are communicating to you. You will leave less room for misunderstandings.
- Go out of your way to break stereotypes. Do you have an unmotivated opinion about a person or a category of people? Do what you can to meet, talk and learn more about them and see if you can change your mind.
- Learn more about the world by reading, watching films or documentaries, and visiting museums. This way you will know more about people who have had a different life path than yours.
Step 2. Express yourself
One of the main obstacles to healthy communication is to use language that risks putting the interlocutor on the defensive. You will be able to minimize interpersonal conflicts by expressing yourself without making accusations against the listener.
The sentences in the first person express your mood, explain why you feel certain feelings and offer practical solutions. For example: "I don't feel appreciated when you give me a job at the last minute. I'd rather you give me some notice next time."
Step 3. Stop trying to change others
Think about how you would feel if someone you know tried to change some aspect of your character. Maybe your mom wants you to renovate the furniture or maybe your partner doesn't like the way you dress. You wouldn't like it, would you? Now, think of a person who seems to accept you for who you are. It is much better, isn't it?
- It is no good for anyone to constantly judge, harass, or mortify others for their mistakes, while emphasizing how right you are. Remember that "a person who is convinced in spite of his will still remains of the same opinion". Trying to change someone is frustrating for both parties.
- Focus on correcting your flaws instead of spending too much energy on others.
Step 4. Learn when and how to apologize
If you have caused someone pain or suffering with words or behaviors, you must ask for forgiveness to avoid tension or a total breakdown. By apologizing, you will be willing to admit your mistakes and recover the report.
- By apologizing, you will communicate remorse, accountability and repentance, but also a commitment not to repeat the same mistake in the future.
- Here is an example: "I apologize that I forced you to sacrifice your free time. This time I will take care of this task, but next time I will give you a warning to know if you are available."
Part 4 of 4: Having a More Balanced Attitude
Step 1. Start looking at problems as an opportunity
If you change the way you see the problems that happen to you in life, you can drastically change the way you handle them as well. Each difficulty pushes you to re-evaluate, discover new alternatives and refine the strategies you use. Therefore, instead of labeling them as problems, consider them as an opportunity to improve.
Step 2. Channel your energies
If you feel you can effectively manage the problems that life throws at you, you will certainly not be swallowed up. Once you have identified your strengths and started to exploit them, you will be able to face difficulties with greater self-confidence.
- Take a sheet of paper and list everything you have been able to achieve so far, your values and your most beautiful qualities. Then call a close friend or family member who knows you well. Ask him to help you discover your strengths.
- If you have trouble spotting them, take a free internet test to gauge your strengths.
- Once they are highlighted, learn to put them to good use. Review each strength and try to understand how you use it. Then think about how else you can use it.
Step 3. Be grateful
If you are deeply grateful for all that is beautiful in your life or because you have been able to struggle and solve your problems in the past, today's difficulties will seem less insurmountable. So, to show your gratitude:
- Start keeping a journal in which to write down the most pleasant aspects of your days.
- Thank you more often.
- Write letters of gratitude to family members, friends, and acquaintances who have helped you in some way.
- Enrich your vocabulary by using words more like "gift", "lucky", "blessing" and "abundance".
