Do you want to be someone's best friend but don't know how or where to start the perfect friendship? Have you had a fight with your best friend and want to show how nice you are, if only he would forgive you? Whatever your reason for doing this, this article will help you become someone's best friend.
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Respect yourself
Step 1. Be yourself with the people in your life, after all that's why you became best friends
You are who you are and your best friends accept you for it. If you are fake you may lose them. Best friends are those people you know you can be yourself with. After all, it's not worth trying to be who you aren't just to be around someone.
Don't keep it all inside. If you feel uncomfortable or have adverse feelings for your best friend, talk to him about it. Work it out together because it's natural to go through ups and downs
Step 2. Try to be your best friend first and foremost
Learn to respect yourself. Decide what your limits and the values you believe in are and respect them. Look for people who believe in your same values.
- Intimate relationships with other people, whether they are romantic relationships or friendships, teach us so much about us. Don't be afraid to get to know yourself better, because if you don't like yourself, it will be difficult for others to like you.
- Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we are asked to reach too high standards, often impossible. If you are a perfectionist, learn to be more tolerant of yourself.
- Don't be afraid of being vulnerable, everyone thinks they are vulnerable in some way. Above all, don't be afraid to show your best friends this side of you, because they don't mind it, and if it does, then they aren't the right friends for you.
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If your friends kindly point out your shortcomings and suggest that you make certain changes to make your friendship deepen, don't automatically get defensive or harbor a grudge against them. They are just trying to help you become a better person - so you should be lucky enough to have such caring friends. If this actually makes you better, it will help prevent future friendships from ruining.
However, if these friends do nothing but point out your faults all the time, you should make your mood known. If they refuse to quit, it may be time to step back a little
Part 2 of 5: Building Loyalty and Trust
Step 1. Trust each other
You may think it's impossible to make your best friend happy, but it really doesn't take that long. All you need to do is make sure that both of you can rely on each other on the things that are really important. Don't try to use your friendship to your advantage; your job is to make sure you win your friend's trust.
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Keep in mind that your best friend may have other friends as well. Know that you are important to the other person and allow them to have a social life besides you. Love in friendship is never made of jealousy.
To keep loneliness from overwhelming you, make a small search for friends. This way, if one is not available, you will always have other people you can rely on. Knowing a lot of people is a good thing, but it's best to limit the number of closest friends you can fully confide in
- Have no secrets. Be honest about what's going on in your life and what you hear about other people. If you don't want to talk about something, don't say it at all. If your friend insists on knowing but you don't want to talk about it, say, "You know you're my best friend and if I wanted to tell someone that person would have been you. I just don't feel comfortable telling anyone., but I promise you'll be the first to know when I'm ready to talk about it, okay?"
- Know that you will go through difficult times. Remember that sometimes you will have to give him the space and time to think. Being best friends means knowing when the other person needs to be alone to think.
Step 1. Be trustworthy and if he tells you a secret, keep it to yourself
Never, ever tell a secret, even to a person you trust. A secret is a secret.
- Learn to tell a harmless secret from a dangerous one. The latter type can not only be a threat to your friend's life, but it can also be a threat to you. While your friend may not want his secret to be known, it is best to talk to your parents or a trusted adult about it. Keep in mind that he may have told you a secret because he may be tired of keeping it inside or it is his way to ask for help.
- Keep your word. If you said you were going to do something, do it, and get it done. The saying goes: between saying and doing there is the sea. Tell your best friend that if you've given your word, you'll never back down.
- Don't gossip about your best friend, or say anything that might give voice to gossip. For example, if he had a crush on someone, he'll probably embarrass him if you go and tell people about it, so only do it if he's okay with it. It's not easy to stick to these decisions, but if you want a solid friendship, you need to be willing to do it.
Step 2. Be loyal and stand up for him when he needs it
However, respect him if he decides to defend himself. There will be ups and downs and various disagreements, but solving the problems between you will show him your loyalty and friendship.
- Know when to say "no", even if you are friends. Integrity in friendship is paramount. Respectfully tell him when you think he's wrong. The journey of life is about learning from your mistakes and not just being right.
- If you don't learn to say "no" to a friend, you risk ruining the friendship rather than improving your relationship. Your friend may begin to lean on you too much, and you may feel uncomfortable and hold a grudge.
Step 3. When you argue try to resolve things in such a way that both of you are happy
Don't say unpleasant things either to your face or with a text message. Apologize, but know that it will take time to get over it. Let the anger pass; talk about it when both of you are ready to do it.
- Never neglect the problem and ignore it. It won't go away on its own, and will come back to show up in the future. Best to fix when the problem is still manageable before it becomes more severe and painful.
- If you both need help, talk to your parents or a trusted adult.
Step 4. Help out and be there when a friend needs a favor
Help him and think how much he would appreciate it. You never know when you are going to be in trouble and need help getting yourself out of a difficult situation.
Step 5. Stand up for your best friend
If you sit and watch someone tease or tease him, you won't earn a best friend medal! If he is being persecuted or intimidated but you are afraid of getting hurt if you get in the way, seek help from a teacher or parent, otherwise go for his defense. Think about how you would feel if someone targeted you and a friend told them to shut up and disappear.
If your friend often has problems with another person, try not to be childish or immature. Don't joke and don't embarrass him, because unfortunately you will only make things worse. Tell an adult what is happening or just ignore it. People usually hate being ignored and will eventually lose interest
Part 3 of 5: Spending Time Together
Step 1. Spend time together
Go out on weekends or plan activities, such as doing homework together or chatting during a snack break. You don't have to be together all the time, but having a good time will help grow your friendship and make it stronger.
- Know that you will have to sacrifice some of your time to be with your best friend and you must be willing to do so.
- Invite other people to hang out with you. Being best friends doesn't mean isolating yourself from others. Sometimes it feels good alone and you don't need anyone else to have fun, while at other times the fun increases if you are in company.
Step 2. Smile; there is nothing that brings people together like smiling together
Among friends we laugh at the most stupid and funny things. Take the time during the day to appreciate the little things in life.
Step 3. Learn to listen
Nobody likes a friend who always talks and never listens. If you are a talker try to develop listening skills. When your best friend says something, listen carefully and interact. Don't just say "yes" and move on. Don't interrupt him or fidget constantly when he talks to you. If he asks for help, listen carefully and give the best advice you can. You will earn his respect and he will come to you more often.
- Be an attentive listener. This also means understanding the implied things, for example what he feels or thinks before he says it. If you are an active listener you know what your friends like before they tell you.
- Know when not to speak. There is a saying that the stupid speaks and the wise listens. While it may seem like an exaggeration, there is some truth to this statement. Be comfortable with him and don't feel the need to fill the silence.
Part 4 of 5: Taking Care of Each Other
Step 1. Take an interest in your best friend
If he's in a bad mood ask him what's wrong. He may not tell you right away but eventually he will. If he doesn't tell you, don't get mad, because some things are private. Trust that he would have just as much patience with you if he were in your shoes.
- If he has had a love disappointment, tell him not to worry because you are there with him, and you will not go anywhere. Also tell him that there are a lot of girls who would go out with him. Reassure your friend that he will find someone who will love him for who he is.
- Remember that helping a friend costs nothing. It's not easy to constantly comfort someone or find advice to give, but know that your friend would do the same for you if you needed it.
- If you're far away, send him a card or gift package to show you care. If he's sick, call him and ask him how he's doing. Show that you appreciate their presence in your life. Write him a message that shows your affection and your recognition, ask him how things are going, and tell him something about yourself.
Step 2. Get to know his family, so that you show that you are interested in getting to know him and the important people in his life better
Part 5 of 5: Be realistic with each other
Step 1. Avoid having expectations
If you think you know what a best friend should do, you may be disappointed or frustrated. A best friend is the most precious thing you have, but they can't help you or give you support for everything in your life. Don't expect him to always be there for you or to tell you what you want to hear. If you have high expectations of him, you will be disappointed and downcast.
- Take care of yourself and be your best friend. If you do, you will never put your friend in the position of having to come and rescue you, and you will never be disappointed.
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Remember that no one is perfect… not even your best friend. We all have our own flaws, and we all need to correct them. Don't judge him harshly, but rather help him overcome them. In any case, when you gently point them out, consider his feelings and that it is best to focus only on the flaws that may affect your friendship. Learn to distinguish which ones to ignore and which ones to face together.
Sometimes it is necessary to let the friend work on his or her flaws on his own, unless he specifically asks for your help. Trying to tease him continuously will only put pressure on him and you could risk losing him
Step 2. Sometimes we drift away, so it is natural to stop having complicity with the other person
Be happy for the good times we had together, and remember how lucky you were to have had that great person in your life.
- If neither of you makes an effort to be together, or you fight for no reason, maybe you aren't meant to be best friends. Chances are you were too friendly, or you just needed a break and some alone time.
- Treat your friend with respect even if you have grown up apart. Don't get angry and don't hold anger inside. Be courteous, kind, respectful, even if your paths diverge. Things could also change in the future, you never know.
Step 3. Let your friend have other friends as well
You can also make a group, as it is normal to seek new friends. Never abandon an old friend though, because he expects you to always remain faithful to him.
Advice
- If he moves, keep in touch. Send an email or text, or anything else that keeps your relationship alive. Send a letter and arrange to visit him.
- Treat your friends as you would like them to treat you. Neither better nor worse, just the same way.
- Always keep your word, but if there is an emergency in the family you may have to break your promise. If he is a good friend, he will understand, but don't always find this excuse or you will lose his trust.
- Remember that a friend is a treasure, and that if he has problems you must defend him. Ask them what they are, but don't go out and tell personal things about them.
- If you know your friend is experiencing physical abuse or violence, tell a teacher or adult you trust. If there are things that are seriously damaging him, you have to tell an adult.
- Talk about things that make him comfortable. Ask a few questions every now and then to show that you care about his friendship and that you are listening to him. Don't be nosy but listen to what your friend is telling you!
- Make eye contact when she speaks and keep the conversation going.
- Don't go overboard with gifts, as your best friend may not have the money to reciprocate, and may feel guilty about it.
- Be there and always forgive him.
- Respect him and don't let him down. Always be available and interested in him.
- Never gossip or he won't trust you anymore. Friendship is having someone you can trust and understand you.
