There is no "perfect man", but if you do everything to improve yourself, you will be able to enrich your life as well. In order to become a better man, you will likely need to make some changes to the way you think, behave, and interact with others.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Improving Internally
Step 1. Stay true to your values
Make an effort to define what your core values are, that is, the principles that you believe to be true and immutable, and do what you can to respect them even when such a commitment could involve many inconveniences.
- If you have a solid moral foundation, it will be easier to stay true to who you are even when things take a tough turn. Sometimes, respecting the values you believe in may require a good deal of courage, but in the end it will be worth it.
- To have a clear idea of what your values are, take a pen and paper and write them down. Keep the list in a safe place and consult it from time to time, especially when circumstances begin to test you.
Step 2. Learn to be realistic in a positive way
If you are an overly idealistic person, you may find it difficult to manage concrete situations in life, while if you are optimistic, you will be able to see things for what they are, while hoping for better results.
Fight negative thoughts. Instead of convincing yourself that things will go wrong, admit that this possibility exists, but focus on what you need to do to avoid failure
Step 3. Pursue your goals
Think about your future and plan for the future. Ask yourself what you intend to accomplish and set goals appropriate to the answer you have given yourself. Once you've fixed them, do your best to achieve them.
- In a way, you have to be able to live in the present and enjoy life for what it is. Do not miss the best things because you are too focused on the future and do not pay attention to what is happening at the moment.
- On the other hand, if you fail to set goals, you easily risk stopping your personal growth and you will feel like you are living a less fulfilling life than it could be.
Step 4. Be strong when under pressure
Stress is inevitable. However, when faced with an exasperating or anxious situation, learn to stay calm and control your emotions instead of getting carried away.
- Instead of reacting instinctively, take all the time you need to calm down and think rationally about things. Let yourself be guided by reason rather than emotion.
- Of course, this doesn't mean you have to be numb. Conversely, it can be difficult for some men to accept that they have feelings, but the sooner you can admit it, the more likely you will be to control your emotions instead of being bullied by them.
Step 5. Take responsibility for your behaviors
When things go wrong and your attitude isn't as commendable, admit your responsibility and move on. Likewise, when things go well mainly thanks to your intervention, know how to recognize your merits without bragging.
Don't blame other people for your failures, and don't focus on the negative behaviors of others when you need to evaluate why a situation has gone wrong. You have no power over what others do towards you, but you can only control your actions, so in order to move forward it would be logical for you to focus on your behavior when analyzing a certain situation
Step 6. Sharpen your wits
Try to gain new knowledge and keep your mental performance high. Reading is a great way to pursue this goal, but you can also train your mental skills by solving puzzles or facing new challenges.
Step 7. Try to rest your mind
While it is important to sharpen your mind, you risk overstressing it if you don't give it the opportunity to withdraw from the surrounding reality and relax every now and then.
A great way to slow down and unwind is to hang out with friends, but you should also make some time for yourself. When you are alone, detach yourself from the world as much as possible. Turn off your computer and phone. Take advantage of moments of solitude to recharge your batteries
Part 2 of 3: Improving Outwardly
Step 1. Take care of your body
You don't need to look like a bodybuilder - albeit, hats off if you have such a physique - but it would help to keep fit. Keep in mind the three cornerstones of a healthy lifestyle: eat healthily, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.
- A healthy diet does not mean eating salads and protein shakes. Conversely, the best diets are also the most balanced. However, you would do well to resist the temptation to gorge yourself on junk foods. A person cannot live on bacon, fries and chocolate sticks alone.
- Try to get moving as soon as you get up in the morning. You can go to the gym if you like, otherwise you can always walk briskly or boost blood circulation by jumping with your legs apart.
Step 2. Maintain a well-groomed appearance
Appearance plays an important role the first time you meet someone. Although feminine beauty rituals are quite complicated, as a man all you have to do is take care of your personal hygiene and bring clean and tidy clothes, suitable for the context in which you find yourself.
- Bathe regularly. You don't have to immerse yourself in a tub full of perfume, but you could try pouring a few drops for a special occasion, like an important date.
- If you have a long beard, take care of it. If it's short, wear it shaved.
- Wear clothes that are clean and in good condition, making sure they are suitable for the occasion. A pair of jeans and an old T-shirt are fine for a night out with friends, but it would be better to look a little more distinguished for a job interview or a first date.
Step 3. Get informed
Keep up to date with the world around you. However, instead of filling your mind with useless information, focus on the characters and events that really matter. You will probably have to subtract some of your time from sports or entertainment to keep yourself informed, for example, about the current state of international relations or the economic effect of the latest natural disaster.
- You have to understand the world you live in if you want to operate within it in the best possible way.
- Of course, this does not mean that you have to sacrifice hobbies and interests, as they are essential elements that help you relax and recharge. You simply have to learn to prioritize what's most important and benefit from your passions without letting them take over your life.
Step 4. Keep your living spaces and the area where you work clean
There is a reason bachelors have earned a reputation as people who neglect their environments. Go against this stereotype and keep your personal spaces in good condition. They don't need to be neat and spotless, but you will need to make sure that you can at least find what you need with a quick glance, without searching through piles of dirty laundry and empty take-out containers.
Step 5. Manage your money responsibly
Debts can weigh heavily on your maintenance and, if they are large, there is also the risk that they will prevent you from obtaining loans from credit institutions to be able to study, buy a new car or renovate living spaces. In other words, if you mismanage your money, you will have a hard time moving forward in life.
Don't spend money you don't have and save a portion of what you earn. To secure financial coverage in difficult times, keep some of your salary in your checking account or invest wisely
Step 6. Try to dive into new things
The key to living an interesting life is to engage in stimulating activities. Challenge yourself by learning new things or traveling to places you've never seen before.
Find something that catches your curiosity and try to learn more. You could engage in activities that develop your intellectual abilities, such as learning a new language or playing a sport, such as karate
Part 3 of 3: Thinking Beyond Yourself
Step 1. Think before you act
While both men and women can say wrong things at inopportune times, they are generally the first to get into trouble for this mistake. Regardless of whether you may experience a situation as an injustice, you should force yourself to think for a few seconds on what you mean or do before moving on.
- Lack of coolness is a trait that is attributed more frequently to men than to women, but in any case it is not wise. If on the one hand you must not be afraid to act, on the other you must also admit that it is not advantageous to carry phrases by impulsiveness. A quick assessment of the situation should be enough for you to understand whether or not you should continue.
- For example, if your first reaction is to insult a colleague or employee for a small mistake, it will benefit everyone if you take a break, question your impetuousness, and choose a better way to deal with the problem.
Step 2. Adopt an altruistic attitude
Consider the best solution for all parties involved, even if it might cost you some sacrifices along the way. By showing your willingness to put the interests of others before your own, you will give the impression that you are someone worth trusting.
- Empathy doesn't come naturally to most men, who actually have a tendency to forget about people when they're focused on their goals. However, it is important to continue to persevere in your efforts to try to meet the needs (expressed or unexpressed) of others.
- Of course, this does not mean that you have to give up self-respect. There is a fine line between giving yourself to others and being trampled on by them. The first aspect is up to you, while the second is something you will blindly accept, once imposed.
Step 3. Behave truthfully
Treat people with the same sincerity you expect in return. Stay true to yourself and let your honesty be expressed in all your daily interactions.
- Try not to say or do things you don't think about, even if you're avoiding hurting someone's feelings or trying to calm down in a difficult situation. If people notice your lack of sincerity, they will lose faith in you and it will be very difficult to regain a personal or professional relationship with them.
- Make two important decisions: stop lying and keep your word (unless a real and inevitable case of emergency stops you from doing so).
Step 4. Fulfill your family duties
You will surely have different roles in the family during your life: maybe you will be a son, brother, husband or father. You may have strong bonds with your partner's family or your friends may represent your family, even though you are not related. Whatever the situation, you need to make sure you are fulfilling certain duties that fit into your role.
- Everyone, both men and women, must respect their obligations in the family. However, although it is a concept mostly applied to women by virtue of widespread social conditioning, the same is often not expected of men. For example, a working mother is often asked how she manages to reconcile work and family, while a working father probably doesn't have to answer these kinds of questions.
- If you do everything to respect your family duties, you will be able to deepen your relationships within the family and at the same time consolidate your moral principles. Family is a lifelong test, so if you treat your family well, you will learn to treat strangers with the same respect.
Step 5. Treat women with respect
Contrary to popular belief, "bad guys" don't win women's hearts, at least not when they have some self-esteem. If it isn't you are already doing it, stop treating women as objects and start considering them as human beings.
Step 6. Take the initiative
In any meeting there is always a person who invites the other. Don't have to keep from taking this step. Start making decisions, organize and handle any objections as they arise instead of worrying about them ahead of time.
- The context of romantic relationships offers the most obvious examples of the need to take initiative. If you're going to ask a girl out, don't hesitate. Maybe you will get rejection, but even if it happens, at least you will be free to stop focusing your attention on her and you can start looking around.
- Among the circumstances that do not concern romantic relationships, consider the dynamics that are established between friends. Instead of waiting for them to offer you something, start contacting them and extend the invitations you receive.
Step 7. Accept others for who they are
It's not possible to get along with everyone, but you can tolerate most people if you take them fairly objectively.
- Nobody can live a situation as you live it, so nobody can think the same way you do. Furthermore, each person is in a phase of personal growth different from the one you are going through. You may also look back and find that you are not particularly proud of your past behaviors.
- Once you learn to accept other people's strengths and weaknesses, you can begin to influence them, avoiding harsh criticism, but showing genuine concern.
Step 8. Show your gratitude
To become a better man, you will have to work hard, but in the end you will be proud of the results you have achieved. Additionally, you will need to learn to recognize the help you receive from other people, feel tremendous gratitude within yourself to those who support you, and be eager to express your gratitude to them.
