Many circumstances are beyond my control, so I am master of my destiny and captain of my soul - Douglas Hofstadter
What is your life like nowadays, right now? Do you have a long-term plan or, like most of us, do you live more or less for the day? Time waits for no one. Try to understand what really matters, it's the first step to take on your responsibilities.
Steps
Step 1. Choose a goal and think about it
Positive goals include personal, business, economic, family, spiritual, and sentimental purposes.
Step 2. Make time for yourself
Get up before or after your family, otherwise find a quiet place where you can sit and think. Some think better while engaging in an undemanding activity (such as laundry) or walking. Find out what works for you.
Step 3. Take stock
What is your life about? What is your purpose in general? What are you good at? What could you improve on?
Step 4. Be objective
Reflecting and evaluating your situation can bring up a lot of emotions, but try to be detached.
Step 5. Get into the details
What have you achieved in your life and why have you succeeded? What would you like to have? What bothers you and why? What do you like about yourself?
Step 6. Put everything in perspective
Okay, you haven't won the Nobel Peace Prize yet. Not even most of us have succeeded. We are mere human beings and no one should expect perfection from themselves, including you.
Step 7. Make a journal for your reflections
Putting what you think on paper will help you be more specific. You can write anything you want and want to express, be it lists, notes, comics, drawings or maps. If you don't like writing, you could take a tape recorder and talk about your thoughts like this, otherwise, choose another method.
Step 8. Consider both the good and the bad
Firms do this analysis using the SWOT diagram. Take four sheets or divide one into four parts and write the following.
- Strengths. What are you good at? What do you love to do and what do you like to dedicate yourself to because driven solely by your passion? What do others compliment you on? What do they think you do best? Once you've made a list, consider how you could improve even more or use all of this to your advantage.
- Weaknesses. What do not you like? What's wrong with you? Focusing on your negative characteristics can help you put them in perspective. Once you've made a list of your weaknesses, you can decide whether to try to improve these areas or let it go. If it is important to you to be a good swimmer, make plans to improve, otherwise, at least you will know what your limits are and you will be able to stay in the shallowest part of the pool.
- Chance. They can go hand in hand with your strengths. Opportunities must not only be economic, but also personal. Consider how you could make a difference, meet your needs (for example, to create) or simply improve yourself. You could base them on how you will use your strengths and how you will mitigate your weaknesses.
- Threats. What could undermine these opportunities, derail your hopes or drive you away from success? The purpose of this list is twofold. First, identifying threats allows you to consider them more clearly. What you know is less threatening than the unknown. Secondly, this allows you to take care of these risks.
Step 9. If it doesn't make you uncomfortable, talk to someone who can listen to you
Expressing your thoughts aloud will allow you to see them from another perspective, and you will understand that some do not make sense. If you are still not comfortable discussing it with someone, do it with your four-legged friend or a stuffed animal instead.
Step 10. Ask your friends to tell you what their opinion of you is
Carrying out an honest self-assessment isn't always easy, and asking an outside person for judgment can help you figure out if what you think about yourself is reasonable.
Step 11. Make a list of everything you would like to do in the next five or ten years, or before you die
Don't filter anything for now, just write everything down following the flow of your thoughts. If you like, write the list focusing on a particular aspect or issue in your life.
Step 12. Ask yourself questions and answer them by making lists, writing essays, or whatever you like
Here are some examples:
- "What matters in my life and what's just slowing me down?"
- "What would I change in my life?".
- "Which individuals contribute to my happiness and which do not?".
Step 13. Make a commitment to change
Tell yourself that this is your life, and that in order to be happy and fit you have to decide what will remain and what you will have to give up.
Step 14. Don't beat the bush
Tell yourself the truth, no matter how bad it hurts. Remember that accepting reality will help you fix it. While it is sometimes difficult to self-analyze, admitting to yourself that you are jealous of someone is better than trying to deny it. The truth may make you miserable at first, but it will free you later.
Step 15. Determine Goals
Read other wikiHow articles about this.
Step 16. Take action
Take the plan concretely, proceed safely on your path, in the direction of what you really want. Actions are more powerful than words, so behaving in relation to what you discover about yourself is key to being honest.
Advice
- Only you are responsible for your own destiny, so only do what will help you achieve your goals.
- If you don't know where to start, try taking a personality test (you will find several on the internet). They are not miraculous in themselves, but they can give you a better understanding of your nature and help you get started.
- Remember that you don't have to be ashamed to write down your thoughts. You don't necessarily have to share them, on the contrary, you can destroy them, modify them or even just hide them.
- Being honest doesn't mean being ruthless with yourself. Everyone has flaws and difficulties. The best athlete or singer in the world could be a bad writer. Truthfully evaluate the problems and, from there, lay the groundwork for solving them, don't use them as an excuse to criticize yourself.
- If you can be objective and analyze yourself, always cultivating a certain honesty, you will realize that your life is as ephemeral as that of everyone else, and the only secret is to do what you can to live the best. There is nothing wrong with that, it is simply part of the human condition.
