Are you looking for a good reason to take time off from school or work? Do you have to get your better half out of the way to be able to organize a big surprise party or dinner in his honor? Will you play a sick character in a play? Are you just feeling lazy and want to rest for the whole day? Knowing how to pretend you're sick can come in handy in a number of cases.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Enter the Character
Step 1. Decide what disease you will pretend to have
In theory, it must be an illness that prevents you from carrying out your usual responsibilities without it being severe enough to cause others to take you to the doctor or hospital. A cold, fever, or an intestinal virus that is cleared within 24 hours are all feasible solutions. Make sure you know the symptoms you want to fake, and limit your performance to them only.
Step 2. Start publicly complaining of symptoms the day before you actually fake the disease
If you don't want to go to school on Monday, act like you've been tired and sluggish since Sunday. Explain that you are not feeling well, or that you have a slight headache. Don't overeat and go to bed early. That way, when you start experiencing more acute symptoms, you will be more believable.
Step 3. Refresh your memory
You have been sick in the past, and people have noticed it. Think back to how you felt, and the physical symptoms people experienced especially when you were sick. Try to replicate those symptoms and express that same feeling. It will be much easier to convince yourself that you have contracted a previous ailment than to invent a whole new ailment.
Step 4. Try to have a haggard face
If you have green concealer, massage it into your cheeks and forehead to look pale. You don't have to dye your leather green, just change the color slightly.
- You need to be able to do your makeup effectively. If it is evident that you have applied make-up, surely you will be caught in the act.
- If you wear makeup, try not to get touched. The deception will be discovered immediately if someone puts a hand on your face and gets stained with concealer.
Step 5. Pretend you are dizzy and about to pass out
Walk slower, with shorter steps. Take your time when you get out of bed or a chair. When you get up from the desk chair, pretend to lose your balance slightly and place your hand on the table to "regain" stability.
To remember what it means to faint, wait until you are alone and spin around until you feel lightheaded. Remember what feelings you feel and how you act. When in front of other people, repeat these steps, but only slightly
Step 6. Act as if you feel uncomfortable
Sick people obviously aren't in top physical shape, so they don't make jokes, don't laugh, and don't smile that much. You give others the impression of being disoriented, lost in your world. If you are generally in a bad mood when you have an illness, then act accordingly. Don't give the idea that you like the usual things you love. If you are offered to go to the cinema, and it is one of your greatest passions, decline the invitation.
Step 7. Show yourself sluggish
If you can, stay in bed. It is a natural reaction to want to rest and sleep a lot when you are sick. It is a signal that your body sends you: you should give it time to fight the disease and heal. Doze off or occasionally rest your head on the desk. Whenever you get the chance, curl up on the closest sofa you can find.
Pretend to shake while in bed, even when under the covers
Step 8. Act as if the disease worries you
Being really sick isn't fun, and often comes with a lot of backlog at school or work. Tell others that you would like to be able to take care of the activities you are avoiding, and apologize for the inconvenience caused. Never seem overjoyed to be able to stay home. Faintly mutter "Ok" and pretend to go back to sleep.
Step 9. Don't feel better all of a sudden
If you can successfully persuade people and they drink your lie, they will start to suspect again if you fully recover after a day in bed or even hours later. If your parents allow you to stay at home, don't start smiling and act as if you've already regained your strength; wait at least until the end of the school day (otherwise they might let you in at the second hour) or the next day.
Method 2 of 5: Pretend You Have a Fever
Step 1. Make your face look hot and sweaty
Fever is a classic disease to pretend, since it often involves some contagiousness and bed rest is usually the best treatment. People with fever generally have warm cheeks and foreheads, despite the cold they feel. There are a number of methods for pretending that the face has a feverish appearance.
- Take a hot shower without getting your hair wet.
- Point the hairdryer in the direction of your face.
- Rub some water on your face to make it appear sweaty.
- Warm your face for a few minutes with a heat pad or heated water bottle when no one is looking at you.
- Vigorously massage your face with your hands.
- Lie on your back letting your head hang over the edge of the bed so that all the blood flows to this area.
Step 2. Cover yourself with several layers of clothing and blankets
They'll make you sweat, but people will also think you're cold. Pretend to tremble, no matter how hot it is under all those blankets. Cold sweat is one of the main symptoms of a cold or fever.
Step 3. Alter the thermometer
If your mother or nurse leaves you alone with the thermometer in your mouth, here are some methods you can try to cause an artificial rise in body temperature. You just have to make sure it's not too high, otherwise it will be obvious that you have tampered with the results, or they will take you to the doctor or hospital to treat a dangerously high fever.
- Drink warm water before putting the thermometer in your mouth.
- Hold the thermometer close to a hot light bulb for one second.
- Shake the thermometer vigorously by holding it by the metal tip. This pushes the mercury to the other end of the instrument. Of course, this doesn't work with digital thermometers.
Method 3 of 5: Pretend You Have Stomach Pain
Step 1. Show that you have lost your appetite
Pick up your food and avoid finishing even the dishes you usually like.
Step 2. Occasionally massage your belly
Do this with an unpleasant facial expression. You don't have to say anything at first, but if someone asks you what's wrong, state it explicitly.
Step 3. Have a bowl or bucket nearby
While not using it, this indicates that you are on the verge of vomiting. Every now and then, lift it up and look inside in a bewildered manner, as if you've had a wave of nausea.
Step 4. Spend a lot of time in the bathroom
People with stomachaches often vomit and have diarrhea. They frequently go to the bathroom and stay there for a long time. You don't have to show it too explicitly, it's not a show, but running to the bathroom more than once within an hour will undoubtedly be noticed.
Step 5. Pretend to vomit
Run to the bathroom and make a noise that resembles gagging, then pour a glass of water down the toilet and flush the toilet. Repeat this for a couple of times, and then take a minute to "cool off" before leaving with a distraught expression.
- In most cases, people don't want to see vomit, so a sound performance should suffice. You can also make fake vomit and pour it down the toilet while pretending to throw up.
- If you eat broth, place a spoonful of it in your mouth and pretend you have swallowed it. Then, pucker your cheeks, as if it had crawled back into your mouth, and run to the bathroom to spit it down the toilet.
Method 4 of 5: Fake Cold or Flu Symptoms
Step 1. Breathe through your mouth only
It's hard to fake a cold, but you can pretend you have a stuffy nose. Just breathe through your mouth and speak a little slower. Sniffle occasionally making a short sound as you inhale.
Step 2. Shiver and pretend to be very cold
Wear several layers of clothing or curl up under various blankets. Take an ice cold shower to make your skin cool to the touch.
Step 3. Pretend to sneeze or cough
It is a risky move. If done unconvincingly, you can make it clear that you are not really sick. Faking a cough is much easier than a cold, but even this can feel forced if you aren't careful.
You could also induce a sneeze by snorting pepper. For an extra bit of help, sprinkle some pepper on a sweater and discreetly scrub your nose with this garment. Smell the spice to help you sneeze
Step 4. Apply a small amount of toothpaste under the lower lashes to make the eyes water
Make sure you spread it around the eye area, but don't get it in the eyes. Let it sit for about three minutes to make sure your eyes burn.
Method 5 of 5: Pretend to be Sick by Phone
Step 1. Make your voice sound different
If you have to call the boss to tell him you're not going to work, your voice needs to be convincing to avoid arousing suspicion.
- Speak slightly slower. Occasionally, pause for a second in the middle of a sentence. Don't answer too quickly. Remember, you are sick and dull.
- Try to breathe through your mouth to give the impression that you have a stuffy nose.
Step 2. Emphasize that it is quite contagious
Maybe the boss doesn't care about your state, however, if there is a risk of infecting colleagues, that's a different kettle of fish. Tell him that you think you got sick because you have been in contact with a person who had this illness. Explain that you are coughing or sneezing, that your nose is constantly running.
Step 3. Cough or sneeze
Don't do it directly in contact with the microphone - in real life, you wouldn't do it in front of someone's face, would you? Keep your phone at a reasonable distance and cough or sneeze loudly. Then, apologize and carry on with the conversation.
Step 4. Pretend the classic noises of vomiting
Pour water into a large glass or two and call while sitting next to the toilet. If you absolutely must sound sick, pause in the middle of the conversation to make a retching noise and pour the glass of water into the toilet. This should simulate the sounds of vomiting.
Step 5. Don't overdo it
One of the quickest ways to arouse suspicion is to overdo it. If you can simply take a sick day without giving too many details, you are less likely to be trapped in your web of lies.
Advice
- Wait for your parents to offer you to stay home. If they say so, you are much more likely to get what you want than a direct question.
- It will help you pretend that your face is hot; you can do this by applying generous amounts of blush, especially on the cheeks.
- Don't do this too often, or you will start to arouse suspicion.
- Write down dates, excuses, and reasons why you wanted to call yourself sick in a journal. Make sure you don't let any obvious patterns or habits develop, otherwise they will understand everything.
- Pretend you're so tired that you neglect simple things like putting on deodorant, combing your hair, or brushing your teeth.
- When talking to an authority, don't give too much detail. You can just tell the boss you need to take a sick day, don't go any further, unless he asks you to. The more complicated your lies, the more likely you are to contradict yourself.
Warnings
- Try not to cry wolf. If people realize that you are pretending to be sick, they may not take you seriously when you actually have an illness and need help.
- Don't fake embarrassing symptoms, especially if you're in school. Coughing, fever, and vomiting are fine, but saying you have diarrhea will cause others to make unpleasant jokes.
- If you stay home, be careful not to get up or take any other action until your parents are gone. It is possible that they will come back if they have forgotten something, or that they will go and see how you are.
- Don't take medication for symptoms you're just faking. It may be dangerous. If they give you a pill, put it in your mouth and place it under your tongue; pretend to swallow it, then throw it away when no one is looking at you.
- Delete this page from your computer's history. If anyone notices that you have researched and planned, they will sense your attempt.
