It's not easy to talk to parents at all, especially if something serious like an eating disorder has arisen. However, be aware that eating disorders are quite a serious problem, so you shouldn't hesitate to let your parents know. Keep in mind that the conversation may be a little painful at first, but on closer inspection it will pay off your efforts in the form of love, advice, and support from your parents.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Prepare to Talk
Step 1. Evaluate your reasons
Ask yourself why you are going to tell your parents that you have an eating disorder. Do you think they will treat you differently? Do you need their support? Or would you like them to help pay for the advice of a professional to help you overcome your ailment?
Once you have a clearer idea of the reasons why you are giving them this news, you can more easily direct the conversation in the direction you want
Step 2. Prepare everything you need
Pick a few articles that explain various eating disorders and how to manage them. The collected material should provide information on what is usually done in these cases. Print what you found on the Internet or, if you are being followed by a therapist, ask him for some brochures on this topic.
- Your parents may not be well informed about eating disorders, so you can keep them up to date by offering them more up-to-date information.
- On the Internet you can find numerous sites that talk about eating disorders, including https://disturbialimentariveneto.it/i-disturbi-del-comportamento-alimentare-dca/come-si-curano-i-dca/ and http: / /www.apc.it/disturbi-psicologiche/anoressia-e-bulimia.
Step 3. Find the right place and time to talk
Think of a secluded, quiet place to invite them to discuss. If you have siblings and you don't want them to join in the conversation, find a time during the week when you are home alone with your parents.
- If you have a hard time being alone with your parents, create the right opportunity. Invite them to another room to talk privately with them.
- If there is not enough space to hold this conversation, suggest going to a quiet park.
Step 4. Breathe deeply
Before speaking, try to relax your nerves. You may get upset before engaging in such a serious conversation with your parents. Then, inhale through your mouth for five seconds, hold the air for a few moments, and then exhale through your nose for about six seconds.
Repeat this exercise until you feel completely calm and relaxed
Step 5. Confide in a friend
If you have a friend who has been through a similar situation or has had a difficult conversation with their parents, try asking them for some advice or support. At worst, it will help reduce stress, while at best you will get a better idea of how a serious confrontation between parents and children might unfold.
However, don't forget that the dynamics between parents and children can vary greatly from one family background to another
Part 2 of 2: Start Talking
Step 1. Communicate what you need
Explain to your parents that you need to inform them of something important and tell them everything you hope to gain from this conversation. You could make several requests:
- If you just want them to listen to you and offer you emotional support, don't hesitate to say so.
- If you want advice from them, be open again.
- If you need financial support, for example, to consult a psychotherapist, ask for it.
Step 2. Start the conversation in general terms
Explain that you want to seriously talk to them in private. Basically, you should start the conversation broadly by communicating that you have a problem to discuss with them without going into details. Here are some examples of how you could start by avoiding being too direct:
- "I have a problem I need to talk to you about. Can we do this in private?"
- "I need your advice on a problem I'm facing. Can we go for a walk?"
- "I need your help with a very personal matter and I would like to talk to you alone."
Step 3. Consider your parents' point of view
Keep in mind that they probably won't know some aspects of your life or that they may see things a little differently from you. When you talk to them, don't lose sight of how they think so that everyone stays on the same page.
When explaining your situation, observe the reaction in their face. If they both seem confused, ask if something you said is unclear
Step 4. Inform them of everything you know
Make sure you let them know all the information you may have about your eating disorder. Do you suspect that you have it, but have you never been diagnosed by a mental health professional? Many eating disorders are treated differently and can have a variety of negative health effects. This is the information your parents should have. Try to explain if you suffer from:
- Anorexia nervosa, which leads to poor food intake and a sharp loss of body weight.
- Binge eating disorder, characterized by the compulsive ingestion of large quantities of food on a recurring basis.
- Bulimia nervosa, characterized by the consumption of huge quantities of food on a recurring basis, followed by behaviors aimed at limiting weight gain, such as vomiting.
-
Eating disorders not otherwise specified (NOS).
They can include nocturnal eating syndrome (compulsive night and evening binges), eliminative behaviors without having eaten and atypical anorexia nervosa (in which the weight remains within normal range)
Step 5. Give them time to think and ask yourself a few questions
Once you've pushed your parents aside and told them you have an eating disorder, give them a chance to ask you a few questions. Answer as best you can and be honest.
- If you can't answer, it's best to say it.
- If you don't want to answer, don't hesitate to say so. However, keep in mind that your parents love you and want to help you out. If what they ask is about your eating disorder, think carefully about your decision not to answer.
Step 6. Talk about your action plan
Once you have discussed with your parents, propose the solutions they have thought of and what you expect from them to put them into practice. You may want to go to an eating disorder clinic or go to therapy.
If you're not sure what alternatives you have or just want to communicate your mood, ask for their opinion. There's nothing bad. Parents want to advise their children
Step 7. Provide some reading material
If you have prepared any articles before talking to your parents, do not hesitate to give it to them. Give them some time to read what you have collected. However, before closing the conversation, arrange another meeting once they have reviewed the material related to your eating disorder.
Try not to overwhelm them with news and information that have little bearing on your problem
Step 8. Avoid complaining or arguing
There is the possibility that the conversation will take an emotionally difficult turn. You may get the impression that your parents don't understand the situation as you hoped, that they don't believe you, or that they don't recognize the dangers and health problems of eating disorders. Beyond these possible scenarios, try to behave in a mature and responsible manner when talking to them, otherwise you won't be able to get the help you need.
If you find that they don't understand your position or that they are getting nervous for some reason, consider resuming the conversation at another time when they are calmer
Step 9. Reassure them by saying they shouldn't blame themselves
They are likely to feel guilty about your problem. However, try not to lose your train of thought, as you need their emotional support, their advice, and their help to heal you.
