And so you spotted a beautiful woman you'd like to go out with. But if she is an exotic dancer, it complicates things. There are a lot of stereotypes you need to know (and ignore) before making your move, otherwise you will forever ruin the chances of getting to know her better. The key is to show sincerity in an environment where the focus is often on appearance and money.
Steps
Step 1. Give the benefit of the doubt
Before you even join a club, make a conscious effort to be open-minded. Don't assume that because they're strippers, they need to be promiscuous and willing to make money any other way. Some dancers are highly intelligent and may do this job to keep their commitments and pay for college or nursing school. Other dancers may have experienced very unfortunate circumstances that you cannot even imagine and may be working in a club to feed their family or send their child to a good school. It's very easy to judge a book by its cover, but you'll never get very far with a stripper who's worth dating if you go this route.
Step 2. Know what you are getting into
Strippers require a lot of attention, in the club and often outside. If you can't handle your partner and give her a lot of attention, dating a stripper is probably not for you. Don't start a relationship with a stripper thinking you can 'change' her or expecting her to find another job. Accept that she undresses or find someone who doesn't.
Step 3. Find a club that you feel comfortable with
Usually the type of club also determines the type of women who work there. Some clubs are characterized by very young and inexperienced girls, tired veterans, gold diggers or a little bit of everything. It is a good idea to avoid those women who are usually attracted to gangster-like men who give them a sense of protection and who follow their rhythm of life - you may have luck with them, but they are not the ideal women to date. Go to gentlemen's clubs, like those places where you can usually find more educated dancers, sometimes university students or even graduates. These girls are usually much more interesting and open to socializing within their work environment.
Step 4. Show up early
Go to the club as soon as they open; usually an hour or an hour and a half after opening, the place is still deserted and the strippers are relaxed, wandering around, lap-dancing and chatting to each other. This is the best time to try to get close without feeling pressured, because you haven't entered the money-making phase at all costs yet.
Step 5. Start a conversation
Be sweet and don't judge. A lot of these girls are treated the worst by men who regard them as disposable pieces of meat. Listen to them, give them a chance to open up and tell you their stories (which are usually interesting), and show a genuine interest in their activities outside the strip club. Don't focus your attention on their bodies. Everyone likes compliments, but they get them all the time. Use eye contact, don't stare at your legs or body with your mouth open. Instead of complimenting their body parts, tell them that they look good in their new costume (compliment the color scheme) or that they've really gotten a lot better at lap-dancing, or something like that. Ask them about books, movies, school, family, life and they will find it much more interesting to talk to you than most of their clients.
Step 6. Tip her on stage, but don't let anyone give you a lap dance
If you pay her to do a dance tour, she'll consider you a "regular", but pay her for her time if you talk to her for a while (she's at work after all). She will never go out with you once a business relationship is established. And if you don't get a lap dance from her, it's definitely NOT a good idea to get a dance from any of the other women. When you tip on stage, though, you should tip all the dancers, but just a little more. If you only tip her, it could trigger some jealousy and fighting spirit among the dancers which can make closeness with you a little more difficult.
Step 7. Get out when the club gets too crowded and all the girls start lap dancing for their clients
Let her know that you don't want to interfere in her work, wish her luck and tell her you'll go see her some other day. By making several visits to her, hopefully she starts smiling and that she can eventually point straight at you as soon as she gets the chance. If he doesn't, it may be that he doesn't want to date any of the club's clients, or that he is already dating someone.
Step 8. Ask her out
If she isn't willing to meet you outside the club for a date, she's making fun of you. Yes, she may be reluctant and cautious, but if she keeps holding back, you don't have to insist on her anymore. If she doesn't agree to a date, do something sweet and romantic. She is a stripper and is used to guys showing interest in her through money and flashy gifts. Try doing something related to a common interest that you discovered in your conversations with her. Whatever you do, never assume that because she is a stripper she will immediately sleep with you. On the contrary, some of these girls usually take a long time to get to know you; they generally don't trust men, because they deal with their worst sides for several hours a day, so be patient and show her that you are different.
Step 9. Accept his job
If one thing leads to another and you eventually date a stripper, she will appreciate that you understand that she is working and that she makes more money than many GPs. In fact she, like so many other dancers, already has a plan to become someone someday as she earns a lot more than most white-collar workers! You understand that many women choose this field, because it gives them the freedom to have time to pursue other interests or priorities, so schedule an appointment on her agenda, and please don't call her before 11am.
Advice
- Don't ask the stripper for her phone number or real name right away. Let me tell you when the time is right. Give her yours instead.
- Don't drink in the club where she dances. Dress well and make sure you smell good.
- Make friends with the dancer first. Most dancers don't like managers and have bouncers among their favorite friends. If you make friends with the dancer first, you don't have to worry about being one of those "scoundrel" managers.
- If you are in a relationship with a stripper, stay out of the club where she is. Jealousy tends to take over, even if the stripper is in the workplace and has to create 'movement' to make money. She too can feel jealous if you flirt or pay other strippers to make them dance. The last thing a stripper needs is a relationship problem that hampers her work environment.
- The best chance of dating a stripper is when you meet her outside the club, at the gym, at a concert, in a store, etc… As has been said, some strippers don't go out with clients; some "bond" but don't date a very attractive client, while others sometimes date a client they find attractive.
Warnings
- Even if a stripper asks for your phone number or business card, don't think she's really interested in going out with you. She may be interested in you to "cultivate" you as a regular client or to consider you in case she needs your services in the future (if you are a lawyer, photographer, etc…).
- Some women (not just strippers) try to find a 'Papi' or a 'Mami', someone to pay their housing costs, give gifts and pay for travel in exchange for sexual favors, escort services or just company. Some strippers can bond with one or more 'Popes' if they can get away with it.
